Red Dawn Trailer:When Did Teenage Wolverines Start To Look As Old as Hugh-Jackman Wolverines?

true detective /hannibal / dc movies / snl / mindhole blowers / netflix / celebrity facts / marvel

Red Dawn Trailer: When Did Teenage Wolverines Start To Look As Old as Hugh-Jackman Wolverines?

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | August 10, 2012 | Comments ()

Screen Shot 2012-08-10 at 2.10.12 PM.png

It doesn't hurt, of course, that Red Dawn has been sitting on a shelf waiting for a company to come up with the money to distribute it, but the teenagers in this flick are Gabrielle Carteris old now. I also hope nobody had a whole lot riding on the quality of the remake: It doesn't look terrible, just on the generic side.

Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis' 'The Campaign' Is an Ovary-Punching Trip to Pleasure Town | Jennifer Lawrence Is Already Lobbying For A Golden Globe...Hard

Are you following Pajiba on Facebook or Twitter? Every time you do, Bill Murray crashes a wedding.

Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • Justin Kuhn

    It's like they made a movie about Iraq in reverse.

  • Read the book Nothing to Envy by Barbara Demick. It's about the lives of ordinary North Koreans written by an LA Times correspondent based on interviews with defectors. North Korea is a sad, sad country filled with people barely able to avoid starvation. They are much more to be pitied than feared. The notion of them invading the US is too absurd for any movie.


    I may or may not have done a happy-as-shit seal clap at that.

    This looks fun. And oh god, the hotness. You can see the potential for gigantic hotness in Hemsworth though he's not quite there.

    And Peeta has maybe 4 seconds of screen time, but STILL. I'm so there. As silly as this looks.

  • TheOriginalMRod

    Oh yeah!!!!

    I have a total cougar crush on Josh Hutcherson...

    That boy is gorgeous.

  • Yocean

    So Sean Bean dies again only to have his sons take stands in revenge, only it looks sucky and improbable and just another White People Save the Day flick? Why couldn't any of the teenager be Asian? He woulda been useful.


  • F'mal DeHyde

    After seeing this article, I checked at netflix to see if the original was available to stream and it was. The premise wasn't really that much more ridiculous than this one... the Soviets invaded through Alaska and down through Canada, apparently without any resistance which suggests Canada is the US's welcome mat. A band of teenagers on horseback evaded death and capture by vastly superior forces for months during a Colorado winter while learning guerrilla tactics and explosive ordinance. And Swayze, god love him, was 32 and looked it.

    And I still enjoyed the hell out of this movie, glycerin tears and all.

  • F'mal DeHyde

    That's funny, I was just reading another commenter's complaint about down votes and how they're misused here. Lo and behold, I've got one for what I thought was an innocuous post. Looks like someone's even more bored than I am on a lazy Sunday morning.

  • heygirlhey

    no one told me chaka from 'land of the lost' is in this

  • Clancys_Daddy

    How can I put this as simply as possible, NO.

  • Devin McMusters

    Just no.

  • GunNut2600

    So wait..a nation that is so systematically malnourished that the average North Korean Soldier on DMZ duty is 4 inches shorter than their South Korean counter part, a country that deals regularly with COUNTRY wide blackouts...a country that doesn't even have the capacity to regularly do troop movements for training purposes and only has at BEST a green water navy...somehow magically crosses the Pacific to deliver enough troops to take over a small town in the US?

    Do the average American understands just how fucking poor North Korea is? We have more shut ins who think Twilight is a fucking documentary than North Korea has in military troops.

    I almost want to see this just to witness the illogical nonsense they have to go through just to try and make this work...

  • mograph

    "Does the average American understand just how fucking poor North Korea is?"

    Of course not.

  • Arran

    AND, mind you, they invade Colorado. I may not know military tactics, but that makes no damn sense.

  • GunNut2600

    Ever heard of Kim Hyon Hui? She was a North Korean Spy. Pretty much every villain in the Bond films was a totally pussy compared to this chick. Her and another agent were to bomb Korean Air Flight 858. The mission was a success but she and the other agent were discovered, and she barely survived taking her cyanide capsule.

    The South had her in custody for a LONG time (8 days) and she didn't say a single word. If that doesn't sound like a long time...most people break in less than an hour in police custody. People naturally, especially under pressure, want to talk. They couldn't even figure out what her freaking name was and we are talking about security folks who are EXPERTS at breaking people.

    The interrogators just started letting her watch TV. Then they took her out to downtown Seoul for meal and just see that South Korea wasn't this hell hole run by the Americans enslaving the South.

    The woman basically had a mental breakdown in the middle of the street, realizing that the last decade of programing was total shit and that her whole life was a carefully constructed lie. After that, she told them everything she could.

    Now if the North attempted to invade anything...hell even China, you would repeat the same thing over again, only with thousands and thousands of soldiers. North Korea's biggest threat isn't their army or even their nuclear weapons. Its the massive number of economic refugees that are going to flood out of the country when the North falls, either peacefully or because of war.

  • F'mal DeHyde

    Wow. Thanks for posting that, I had never heard of her before and I spent a little time reading the wiki article about her as well. Fascinating story.

  • BarbadoSlim

    I think 'Merica Gets Saved by Some Douche Bros would be a more appropriate title.

  • littlelion

    On the one hand... "We inherited our freedom. Now it's TIME to FIGHT FOR IT!!1!"

    On the other hand, Thor and John Winchester.


  • TheOriginalMRod

    Is it just me or does Isabel Lucas (the blonde with the too dark eyebrows) look like Cha-ka from Land of the Lost? The original tv show, not that stupid movie remake.

  • BarbadoSlim

    Dude, you just blew my mind. It's almost uncanny, except this bitch is uglier.

  • Samcvb

    you have wonderful things to say about women. please keep them to yourself next time

  • David Sorenson

    There's an entire generation growing up that will only know "Hey Man. Nice Shot" by Filter as "that song from the movie trailers."

    I feel really damn old right now.

  • Stella

    It was also used in the original Nikita tv show from the nineties, and it was somewhat old then. Yes... we're old....

  • Ed

    Let's not forget its inclusion into the Guitar Hero game series. They'll remember it for that, too.

  • Maguita NYC

    I was wondering if that was a new Hunger Games poster. It sure looks like the same cast.

    Still nothing beats Mr. Hungry Eyes, Patrick Swayze, in the original Red Dawn. That man was intense and walked like a bull ready to charge.

  • mrcreosote

    Is there a Jennifer Grey cameo? Because she made that movie. Nobody puts baby in a Communist totalitarian corner.

  • pumpkin

    Jennifer Grey and Lea Thompson; 1984 dream queens!

  • Xtacle Steve

    Like I'm supposed to believe that North Korea would be able to invade the US? Why couldn't it have just been Russians again? You could've had Hemsworth on the verge of losing to the Russian leader, only to gain the upper hand after the ghost of Reagan intervenes with some kung-fu.

  • you mean when hemsworth realizes hes a norse god and he gets an awesome hammer and armor and then lighting bolts the motherfucker

  • junierizzle

    The perfect rental.

  • Quatermain

    It'll never compare to the original. Red Dawn and Road House were Swayze's two best movies. If you disagree, the burden of proof is on the dissenter. Also, you are wrong.

  • Blake

    Point Break is better...

  • BarbadoSlim

    This x 1,000,000

  • Man the Swayze was old in the first one. If this didn't spend like two years due to MGM's financial issues it wouldn't be so bad

  • This movie needs more Mjolnir.

  • DarthCorleone

    They should have stuck with the politically incorrect China storyline instead of North Korea. I guess I could always just go back and watch that episode of South Park instead.

  • space_oddity

    I realize everything about this is unrealistic, but honestly, the idea of North Korea invading escapes even my prodigious powers of suspension of disbelief.

  • Alex0001

    Or at least go with Canada. You KNOW they got some shit up their sleeve just waiting to come out.

  • Blake

    Yes Canada! With our military ranked 74th in the world vs the US it would be easy.

    North Korea is 3rd in the world so it isn't impossible.

  • Devil Child

    Canada actually did fairly well against the U.S. the last time the countries went to war.

    The Canuck's have a snowballs chance of winning against the U.S. in a war, and even lower a chance of conquering anything other than Maine: but the North Koreans would surrender within seconds of seeing the first Waffle House, automatically giving Canada military superiority over the world's most hilarious dictatorship.

  • Arran

    Third in the world in sheer numbers, yes. Somewhere around 300th in the world in military technology. Invading South Korea? Unlikely but possible. Invading the US? Nope.

  • Alex0001

    Exactly! You very underrated.

  • Blake

    +1... We all know that war is coming.

  • Blake

    No Dustin... It does look terrible and very generic. White people save the world (America) again from evil foreigners.

    No a BIG NO to a brunette Adrianne Palicki...

  • Stephen Nein

    Where's my CHEESZE WHIZ????

    . . all this 'splodey shit ain't no substitute for the 3rd major film food group.

  • jvb

    if i'll pay full price to watch chris hemsworth save kstew, i'll definitely pay full price to watch him do this.

  • athena23

    Was just going to point out that I'd pay to watch him read a grocery shopping list, but this suffices.

  • Snath

    How the fuck would Nickelodeon Josh ever be as tough as Hugh Jackman's Wolverine?

  • Jannymac

    Well, that Aussie accent comes and goes, but looks interesting.
    Do you think they found a Chinese distribution partner?

  • Oh for fvck sake. Really? They retreaded this? Someone reboot Hollywood, please. They're hung in a nasty loop.

  • This is just Nickelodeon Kid's Choice Awards bait.... Tween-Expendables?

  • JenVegas

    Whatever. I am going to watch the hell out of this movie. I predict it will turn out to be a superfun fall popcorn flick and that I will own it to watch when all else on cable fails me.

  • gp

    i mean, i *guess* i'll watch this after it's been out on dvd for a year and there is absolutely nothing else in existence to watch.

  • You just want to ogle Hemsworth in the privacy of your own home.

blog comments powered by Disqus