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readyplayerone.jpg

'Ready Player One' Has Some New Posters And They Look Like Chicken Fried Sh*t

By Jodi Smith | Industry | March 6, 2018 |

By Jodi Smith | Industry | March 6, 2018 |


readyplayerone.jpg

I haven’t read the book, but I’ve seen the ridiculous trailers fro Ready Player One. I am not impressed. It looks like someone ate a Rubix Cube, chased it with some acid-wash denim, and then masturbated until nostalgia erupted from their no-no bits.

If I were any less excited for this poorly-rendered CGI turd, TK would force me to review it.

The internets are all aflutter with talk about the new posters released for RP1 and the discrepancy between what film critics think about them and what normal people think about them. Most sites are using words like “amazing” or “fantastic”. Others praise them as clever homages to the films that are likely name-checked by filling every frame of RP1 with whatever Steven Spielberg could license.

You say homage, I say [fart noises].

Let’s take a look at these Frankenstein’s Monster-looking pieces of crap, likely Photoshopped in Hell by Photoshop Satan himself.

They look like your younger sibling figured out that learning how to do things is hard, so they just used Microsoft Paint to put their own, ill-fitting face onto more interesting movie posters.

Someone on reddit would post this and say, “I don’t usually do art, but I drew this. What do you think?”

Preach it, Twitter person. PREACH.

They’re just so bad. The posters are trying to lure you in to see a movie that’s based on a dude in virtual reality or whatever, and that movie cannot even take the time to make sure that their CGI looks better than a load screen from Dr. Mario in the 90s.

LOOK AT IT. LOOK AT WHAT WE SOMEHOW BROUGHT UPON OURSELVES. YOU LOOK IT IN THE POORLY-CONSTRUCTED PLACES WHERE EYES SHOULD LIVE AND YOU THINK ABOUT MAKING THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE IN THE FUTURE. FUCK.



Jodi Smith is the Associate Trade News Editor at Pajiba. You can email her or follow her on Twitter.



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