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Ratner Ruins Your Great-Great-Grandparents' Childhood

By Miscellaneous | Trade News | June 4, 2010 |


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I usually think it's dumb when people kvetch and moan about how a remake is ruining their childhood memories. Maybe it's because I'm young and it'll be another 10 years before they remake The Lion King. But this story has got me working on a theory. Perhaps select Hollywood filmmakers are competing to see who can wreck the most cherished memories. If there's any truth to it, Brett Ratner just took an early lead.

With this Snow White "revisioning", he's not just wrecking your memories. He's getting your parents, and your grandparents, and your great-grandparents from the Old Country. If their spirits still walk the Earth, they'll be offended.

He's looking to do a textbook gritty reboot of the story. Take it back to its roots. The grim Brothers Grimm story.

These dwarves aren't gonna be yo momma's miners. They're going to be Robbers! And there's a DRAGON! Aww yeah. And... oh crap. Brett Ratner says he's going to inject more comedy into it. And it won't be as "soft" as Walt Disney's version.

So we can expect some dick jokes. Hard dick jokes. But how will he give us the "Black Guys Do This. Asian Guys Do THIS." style of comedy that made audiences fall in love with Rush Hour? I don't even know why I'm so worked up about this.

*Sigh* Let's just start a petition to get Allison Brie as Snow White. And Prisco as Peaches, the 8th Dwarf.

Actually, you guys can do better. Joke Dwarf Names, Go.

(Via DeadLine)


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