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A Thinly Veiled Excuse To Post Pictures Of Famke Janssen And Other Pretties

By TK | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (32)



Famke_Janssen,_Photoshoot.jpg

Here’s a bunch of other movie news. Some of it is interesting, some of it is painfully dull, and some of it is simply fucking painful. Your decisions based on which is which will also decide whether or not you live or die.

Choose wisely.

Dakota Fanning, the adorable moppet from those movies that needed adorable moppets with creepy-ass eyes, will play a pretty, pretty princess. No, it’s not a Robert Scott biopic. Instead, it’s a upcoming film called Girls’ Night Out. She’ll play a young Princess Margaret, who, in 1945 on the eve of Germany’s surrender, “is allowed out from Buckingham Palace for one night to join in the celebrations. Alongside her yet-to-be-cast sister Elizabeth, the two have an adventurous night on the town.” (THR)

Speaking of Brits, here’s a shot of Meryl Streep as Margaret Thatcher in the upcoming The Iron Lady. Hey, did you know that Anthony Head (Giles on “Buffy”) is in this, as Thatcher’s favored Cabinet minister and dickface extraordinaire Geoffrey Howe? Well, now you know.
The-Iron-Lady_1084_RET-21-681x1024.jpg
(Film School Rejects)

I was initially kind of excited about this: Anton Yelchin (Star Trek, Terminator Salvation, The Beaver) has been cast as Odd Thomas in the in-development adaptation of Dean Koontz’s book, Odd Thomas. It’s a pretty good book, as far as Koontz stuff goes. And then I saw that Stephen Sommers (GI Joe, Van Helsing) is directing, and I punched a kitten. (Slashfilm)

However, any Famke Janssen news is good news. The lovely and inexplicably underused Ms. Janssen has been cast in a still-unknown role in Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, which stars Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton as the aforementioned with hunters, all groweds up. That’s a solid cast you’ve got there, Tommy Wirkola (Dead Snow). (Dark Horizons)
gemma-arterton-005.jpg
mmm… Gemma Arterton

Continuing with our fairy tale theme, Tarsem Singh’s Brothers Grimm: Snow White has it’s evil queen. It’s Julia Roberts. No, seriously. Stop laughing. It’s fucking Julia Roberts. On the bright side, maybe she’ll actually act in this one, instead of just continuing to play Julia Roberts. Oh, and it’ll be in 3D, because I know you kids love the 3D!

But wait, that’s not all! There’s another Snow White project in the works: Universal’s Snow White And The Huntsman. The rumored cast right now is Kristen Stewart as Snow White, Charlize Theron as the Queen, and Viggo Mortenson as the Hunstman. None of those are confirmed, but, ah… one of these things is not like the others.

I’M NOT DONE YET. Because there’s yet another Snow White film in the works. No, I assure you, I am not fucking shitting you. Disney is adapting their own property again, called Snow and the Seven. Except it’ll take place in 19th century China. I have no idea how to process that information. (source for all things Snow White-related: Collider)

In other fantasy-related news, there’s some befuddling shit going on regarding the female lead in Wrath Of The Titans, the sequel to dreadfully dull Clash Of The Titans. Rosamund Pike (An Education), has been cast in the role of Andromeda, who was previously played by Alexa Davalos in the original… er… remake… of the original. No word on what happened to Davalos, but what’s equally puzzling is that the female lead in Clash was actually Io, played by Gemma Arterton. So I don’t know if Arterton is coming back either, but frankly I’ve already thought about this too much so here’s Rosamund Pike, who is exquisitely gorgeous:
rosamund_pike01.jpg
(Film School Rejects)

And lastly, the mayor of Detroit has put the kibosh on the idea of constructing a Robocop statue. Seriously, dude? Why the fuck not? The only effect this could have would be to make Detroit a cooler city, and considering it’s a friggin’ pit right now, how can you refuse? I’m disappointed in you, Mayor Bing.

Robocop_Unicorn_Doyle.jpg
Robocop and his unicorn are not pleased.









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Comments

Thank you, TK, for making my morning a little bit brighter. Can we put up a Robocop statue here, in homage to Detroit? It would be even cooler if he were on a unicorn...

Posted by: Mr. Yuck at February 9, 2011 11:39 AM

It seems of late that in this day and age with the fact that Obama is running the country, Snow White movies seem to be the best idea. A reminder that one day America (as represented by Snow White) will one day find her prince and that the evil stepmother (capitalist/socialist/communist Obama) will be destroyed. The prince represents the next president, and then America will be saved.

Same idea with Hansel and Grettel: Witch Hunters. Fairy Tales pretty much sum up what America is now.

Posted by: Lordninja at February 9, 2011 11:41 AM

So, will "The Iron Lady" be one of those fake nostalgic adoration pieces or will it actually cover the reality of the woman who destroyed an entire society, ignored the emergence of HIV, refused to impose sanctions against South Africa, labeled Nelson Mandela one of the worst terrorists of all time, invented a war to boost her ratings, and campaigned passionately for all charges to be dropped against Chilean murder Pinochet...to name just a few of her "achievements".

Posted by: PaddyDog at February 9, 2011 11:44 AM

Streep should play Thatcher as Julia Child, even if that doesn't make any sense, just because she can.

Posted by: , at February 9, 2011 11:47 AM

Hey, I liked Dakota Fanning in The Runaways! She was the best thing in that, and it removed the stain of creepy from her previous films.

AND

The lovely and inexplicably underused Ms. Janssen...

Damn fucking straight!

Posted by: sars at February 9, 2011 11:47 AM

So, will "The Iron Lady" be one of those fake nostalgic adoration pieces or will it actually cover the reality of the woman who destroyed an entire society, ignored the emergence of HIV, refused to impose sanctions against South Africa, labeled Nelson Mandela one of the worst terrorists of all time, invented a war to boost her ratings, and campaigned passionately for all charges to be dropped against Chilean murder Pinochet...to name just a few of her "achievements".


Posted by: PaddyDog at February 9, 2011 11:44 AM

-------

Thank you! I couldn't even read the rest of the fucking post after seeing just an approximation of that satanspawn.

I'd like to see an Inglourious Basters-type alt-history thing where a number of decent people from the present travel back into the past and viciously murder this vile harridan for her rape crimes against this country and the concept of humanity.

Posted by: zeke the pig at February 9, 2011 11:51 AM

I stopped reading the headline after "A Thinly Veiled Excuse To Post Pictures Of Famke Janssen", so I was disappointed by there only being a single. But the way she's looking at me is making me tingle in my area (that saucy minx), so, Thanks!

Posted by: Groundloop at February 9, 2011 12:00 PM

Streep and Head as these two?

Thatcher and Howe

Seriously?

I don't know if it will make any money in the UKm as Thatcher is an incredibly divisive figure. Half the country thinks she's a saint. The other half consider her evil incarnate.

The film is bound to offend one or both of those parties.


Posted by: Simon at February 9, 2011 12:00 PM

I'd like to see an Inglourious Basters-type alt-history thing...

Maybe have Maggie stranded in an uninhabited and astonishingly lame Falkland Island where she'll have to spear her own dinner and yell at a volleyball for rest of her days.

Posted by: sars at February 9, 2011 12:01 PM

Zeke the pig:

The good news is that Elvis Costello already wrote the movie theme music: Tramp the Dirt Down.

Posted by: PaddyDog at February 9, 2011 12:02 PM

Meryl Streep as Margaret Thatcher Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Famke Janssen in Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Somebody wake me when Hollywood does a remake of “Star 80.”

Posted by: Pookie at February 9, 2011 12:10 PM

Oh well...I was going to be impartial, but yeah, I'm with Paddydog on this one.

I remember Thatcher privatising everything she could get her grubby little claws on. Her friends got rich quick on a false boom of the economy, while the poverty gap increased to such an extent that it never recovered.

She told us that there is no such thing as society, which was now technically true since she dismantled ours and sold the parts off to the highest bidder.

When she finally shuffles off this mortal coil, I'll be joining the masses at the disco on her grave.

Posted by: Simon at February 9, 2011 12:13 PM

I can't wait to see footage of the queen in a long white cape and gown, doing her manly walk thing.

Posted by: Cindy at February 9, 2011 12:15 PM

It's a date then Simon.

Posted by: PaddyDog at February 9, 2011 12:16 PM

Can't she just do a "Julia Child in her OSS days" movie?

Yeah, it's disappointing.

And that was Janssen's spot you gave to Arterton. A small header picture does not constitute content, don't pick up Dustin's bad, teasing habits.

Posted by: Jay at February 9, 2011 12:21 PM

See you there PaddyDog.
I'll be wearing some sparkly dancing shoes, purchased especially for the occasion.

Posted by: Simon at February 9, 2011 12:27 PM

Yeah, Paddy, here I thought you were describing Reagan. Two peas in a pod, eh?

Posted by: MM at February 9, 2011 1:22 PM

Oh, and PS: more pictures of Famke Janssen would have been better. Thnx.

Posted by: MM at February 9, 2011 1:23 PM

the idea of julia roberts great gaping maw and wall of china teeth in 3D strikes terror to the bottom of my tattered little soul. evil indeed.

Posted by: idleprimate at February 9, 2011 1:27 PM

MM:

Don't even get me started on all the current hype around Reagan's centennial. People have very short memories.

Posted by: PaddyDog at February 9, 2011 1:29 PM

Four Snow White movies? Isn't that foue more than we need?

And Famke looks like a tranny.

Posted by: logan at February 9, 2011 1:30 PM

I liked the Odd Thomas series. Why is everyone in Hollywood trying to fuck up all my favorite books at once? Thank goodness Invisible Monsters has already been tossed around for ten years without being given a green light. There's no way that can be translated into film so don't even touch it.

Posted by: Paultera at February 9, 2011 1:31 PM

I wish Kristen Stewart and Olivia Wilde would just get cast right now in something, so that everyone could stop trying to cast them in everything. You know what I mean? Every time a new project gets thrown out there, it's these two chicks being "rumored". Everything!

That being said, though, I think Kristen Stewart could be great as a different sort of Snow White. Less innocent and perfect, more sulky and dark. Could be interesting. But blargh, Julia Roberts. She ruins everything.

I LOVE Rosamund Pike. She's so damn pretty and she was perfect as Jane in Pride and Prejudice.

Posted by: Figgy at February 9, 2011 1:38 PM

Meryl Streep as Thatcher. Looks okay in the still.

I noticed people asking whether they'll cover The UK's Last Colonial War (a/k/a The Falkland Islands War) or destroying the coal miners' unions, etc.

But, will the film also cover her attempts (with France) to convince Gorbachev to block Germany's unification?

I'd pay double the admission price to see the Crimson Permanent Assurance show up outside Number 10 just as Maggie's signing off on yet another privatization scheme.

Posted by: The Wanderer at February 9, 2011 1:41 PM

So according to The Guardian, this Thatcher film is being directed by Phyllida Lloyd (the woman who brought you Mamma Mia). This fascinates me because Lloyd is openly gay and and as such might be assumed to be anti-Thatcher but then again there are those log cabin Republicans, so never assume. The one hopeful piece in the Guardian article is that the Thatcher family is apparently appalled at the prospect of this movie.

Posted by: PaddyDog at February 9, 2011 1:56 PM

"I'd pay double the admission price to see the Crimson Permanent Assurance show up outside Number 10 just as Maggie's signing off on yet another privatization scheme"

that's the movie i want to see.

and Streep's portrayal of thatcher comes off as too close to a human being to ring with any truth.

Posted by: idleprimate at February 9, 2011 1:59 PM

Hmmm...other than Meryl and RoboCop all those lovely ladies were in Bond movies. And all of them were killed. Not sure what the connection is but I'm sure Obama has something to do with it.

Posted by: TylerDFC at February 9, 2011 2:16 PM

Well I hope I don't die too soon
I pray the lord my soul to save
Oh I'll be a good boy, I'm trying so hard to behave
Because there's one thing I know, I'd like to live
Long enough to savour
That's when they finally put you in the ground
I'll stand on your grave and tramp the dirt down

Posted by: ed newman at February 9, 2011 2:16 PM

Holy crap, I thought that picture of Gemma whatsherface was Jami Gertz for a second. The Lost Boys era Gertz, not CBS crapfest Still Standing Gertz, of course.

So are we past all the stupid remakes and moving on to fairy tales, now? First that Red Riding Hood movie with Amanda Seyfried, now Snow White?

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at February 9, 2011 2:21 PM

Posted by: Simon at February 9, 2011 2:35 PM

That is pure god, Simon.

Posted by: PaddyDog at February 9, 2011 3:08 PM

I kind of like Dean Koontz.

And the ending of Odd Thomas wrecked me. I should've seen it coming, but I didn't.

Posted by: Dave at February 10, 2011 5:45 PM