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Franchises That Won't Die

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (14)



RIIIMovieBow.jpg

The industry is sleeping, leaving only little bits and pieces for us to scrabble at like starving coyotes picking long dried bones for some missed morsel of marrow. These little tidbits read more like one of Dustin’s Two Truths and a Lie, but just to wilt your soul a little, these are all true!

The ultimate measure of trade news boredom is the fact that this is considered newsworthy on most of the industry news feeds: scouts are picking out locations in Hawaii’s jungles for an 18 day shoot for the new Predator film. The film’s plot is described as: space marines land on the Predator’s home planet, violence ensues. I presume that the home planet must have jungles. If it’s a jungle planet that would explain why the Predator previously came to Latin America and Los Angeles. I don’t know where it went in those Alien Vs. Predator films, I only watch sci-fi with future governors, in this case, Arnold, Jesse Ventura, and Danny Glover (just wait, it’s coming).

Also, Rambo V has been greenlit with Sylvester Stallone penned in as the director and star. This is getting embarrassing. Someone elect Stallone governor before this starts filming.

And finally in order to prove that just because you know how to do obscure things with a computer, that doesn’t mean you have an ounce of intelligence or taste: Twilight was among the top ten e-books pirated over bittorrent last year, according to FreakBits.









DVD Release 09/01/09 | What Movie Did You Love Despite Initially Convincing Yourself You'd Hate













Comments

What the hell are you talking about? There is nothing wrong with a Predator movie, just as long as its not an AVP. And Rambo fucking Rambo did you see all the people that got blown to pieces in the last one? It was a thing of sheer beauty. It was gorgeous! They don't make one man armies like they used to, now you have to have a whole fucking team. A team? A team? The hell is that shit?

Posted by: Deistbrawler at September 1, 2009 8:23 PM

As someone who thinks the first Predator is the quintessential action movie (no sappy love romance, no cute kid around) and who likes Predator 2 (but hated the AvP movies), I'm hopeful this new one is more interested in action, scares and badassery.

And couldn't we combine Rambo V and Twilight? Rambo vs emo werewolves and Lite Bright vampires? I know who I'd be rooting for.

Posted by: Fredo at September 1, 2009 8:32 PM

Twilight was among the top ten e-books pirated over bittorrent last year, according to FreakBits.

Better than being suckered into buying that shit because you have an insatiable addiction to books and would rather buy any book than go to the library and *gulp* have to give it back.

Yes, I am bitter. What of it?

Posted by: lizzieborden at September 1, 2009 8:36 PM

I saw that subtitle thing as Rambo V Predator. I was kind of curious until I saw the comma.

Posted by: Anne (in Reno) at September 1, 2009 8:51 PM

If Stallone continues to shoot himself up with that much Human Growth Hormone, is he still considered a one man army?

Posted by: branded at September 1, 2009 8:58 PM

I can, in good faith, say that I am in no way perpetuating the continuance of these franchises for I have seen not a one.

Not.a.one.

Posted by: ashes at September 1, 2009 9:06 PM

Me too, Anne (in Reno). Color me disappointed.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at September 1, 2009 10:26 PM

goddamnit! i thought this was gonna be about rambo vs. predator, which would RAH-OCK!

your stupid small comma!

Posted by: gp at September 1, 2009 10:43 PM

oh, you guys already called that out.
well, erm, good job.
good job, Anne (in Reno).
nice (almost) save, MelBivDevoe.
you kids, um, carry on.

Posted by: gp at September 1, 2009 10:45 PM

Dammit, Rambo V Predator might have actually given me something to get worked up here.
As you were

Posted by: Squirrelgripper at September 1, 2009 11:12 PM

your stupid small comma!

Posted by: gp at September 1, 2009 10:43 PM
---
Hey!

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at September 2, 2009 1:22 AM

Dammit, guys. I hadn't even thought about Rambo V. Predator until I read through your comments and now I'm too turned on to go to bed.

Posted by: coryo at September 2, 2009 2:12 AM

Vampires do not sparkle in sunlight. They burst into flames, begin to decompose slowly, or they turn into a cloud of ash; perhaps, all of the above. That is all. Have a good day followers of the Godtopus.

Posted by: bignick at September 2, 2009 8:04 AM

Hey!

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at September 2, 2009 1:22 AM

i said, stupid small comma.
YOU are my big kahuna comma.

there's a difference.
there's a difference.

Posted by: gp at September 2, 2009 9:38 AM


















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