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The Improbable Ascendancy of Chris Evans

Trailers That Make You Go “Meh” / Daniel Carlson

Trade News | October 20, 2008 | Comments (27)

It’s pretty much every sci-fi idea you’ve ever heard, mixed with every special effect you’ve ever seen, cut together in a trailer like every one you’ve already thought was boring.

Still, the basics: It’s got Chris Evans, Camilla Belle, and Dakota Fanning as members of a strain of humans with telekinetic and psychic abilities, and it seems like the screenwriters knew all along they’d have Evans hook up with some chick just so he could shut the door with his mind. (And it totally happens.) The government wants to weaponize them, they fight back, and bullets are magically halted in mid-air. Like I said, meh:










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Comments

"Well, it's hardly worth it, but....BOOOOOOO".

Posted by: Jay at October 20, 2008 11:28 AM

It looks better than that fucking Beverly Hills Dog movie , my kids made take them to see that, and i wanted to scoop out my eyes with mellon ballers .

Posted by: GILP at October 20, 2008 11:35 AM

So the movie is so bad we're not even allowed to distribute the trailer on YouTube?

Free advertising: UR doing it wrong.

Posted by: twig at October 20, 2008 11:42 AM

I love Chris Evans. Why can't he find better shit?

Posted by: Eep at October 20, 2008 11:44 AM

I think it looks interesting, I'll be checking it out.

Posted by: Coco Bravo at October 20, 2008 11:45 AM

Wow, they already made Heroes: The Movie?

Posted by: Raisin'Cookies at October 20, 2008 12:06 PM

Meh. It makes me wish Heroes hadn't started sucking. It'll make money.

Posted by: Jenn at October 20, 2008 12:25 PM

Oh yay new link now I can see the shitty trai-

... wait.

Posted by: twig at October 20, 2008 1:16 PM

I think I fucked my computer up, because I can't see the youtube clips anymore! Wah!

The upshot is that I don't need a shitty trailer to tell me that Chris Evans is hot shit.

Posted by: Kolby at October 20, 2008 1:17 PM

i think i liked this movie better when it was called Firestarter.
No one is more badass than George C. Scott.

Posted by: Jen Vegas at October 20, 2008 1:21 PM

This is like, aggressively meh, which I didn't even think was possible. It's sad because I am in the club of kind of liking Chris Evans (I don't love him, but he's decent and pretty cute).

Also, yeah.. Heroes 2.0. So, again, meh.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at October 20, 2008 1:30 PM

Dunno... Heroes had such a good concept, maybe someone can do it right ("better" is such a low bar) this time.

Plus, even though he's attractive enough to be a smug toolbox, I find Evans inherently likable for some reason.

For the record, that's LIKE-able. No Freudian slips here. Or Freudian crotchless panties, either.

Posted by: firedmyass at October 20, 2008 1:45 PM

Who the hell is Chris Evans?

Oh. Him. Blargh. He looks like such a douche.

Posted by: figgy at October 20, 2008 2:33 PM

i'm pretty meh about chris evans, but WHY is djimon hounsou in this? his presence alone makes me want to go shell out 10 bucks to see this (probably) unremarkable film. is he that hard up for a part/money?

and camilla belle is one of the blandest actresses in hollywood, and that's saying something. i could just be basing this judgment entirely off her part in "when a stranger calls" but that movie seriously sucked.

Posted by: eat my shorts at October 20, 2008 2:46 PM

you know a movie is going to suck when the trailer soundtrack sounds like the anti-piracy PSA they play at the start of dvds.

Posted by: Stella at October 20, 2008 3:11 PM

Aww, yay, what looks like the poor man's Alan Tudyk/Paul Bettany and crazy Asian bad guys.

Gee, I'm excited, and this doesn't at all look like it'll be as bad if not horribly worse than Jumper or anything!

Posted by: JK at October 20, 2008 3:17 PM

So let me get this straight; Super-heroes with special powers are banding together and running from some shadowy entity that wants to turn them into weapons for their own use. Oh, and that gaytard, ("Flame on!") from the Fantastic Four movies uses Peter Petrelli's patented two-fingered gun hand to psychically fuck with dice.

So, shittier heroes with a derivative storyline... No thanks.

Posted by: Roaddog at October 20, 2008 3:21 PM

Right with you on the Tudykleganger, JK.

I did just notice that McGuigan, of Lucky Number Slevin, directed this. Now I'm mildly interested.

Posted by: Eep at October 20, 2008 3:21 PM

The plots unoriginal, but i've been w8g for this for quite some time; i'll see it even thought the trailer is bad...

Posted by: Neena at October 20, 2008 3:41 PM

Oh! Wait. Oh. Not Alan Tudyk. Seeing as I'm not on the countdown for Dakota Fanning to turn 18 and start sporting dominatrix leather-wear, now I officially couldn't care less.

Posted by: cerain at October 20, 2008 4:02 PM

I might watch this on a rainy sunday and let's face it, it's not like fantastic films are lined up at the local cinema. I don't get the attraction of whatshisface, he looks like a frat boy. I don't do frat. I'm an unapologetic hot-nerdophile. I'm so bad that if this guy put on glasses and started talking about quarks, I'd be on him like white on rice. Sexy nerdy rice. I will now go to sleep.

Posted by: Joker at October 20, 2008 5:32 PM

To be honest I'll happily see anything with telekinesis, so I'll probably end up seeing this on day of release, regardless of overall quality. Also I can't watch trailers in this computer lab.

Posted by: Chugga at October 20, 2008 11:57 PM

Um... Eat My Shorts...
Djimon Hounsou? Really? The guy who was in a movie called 'Never Back Down' whose ONLY line in the trailer was an awkwardly-stated: "NEVER BACK DOWN!"??

Posted by: thatgirl at October 21, 2008 12:46 AM

A watcher? A watcher? Where are the guys with the swords (cue Queen: "Heeeeere we are . . . ") - er - the hot chicks with the stakes and kicky fighting - er - the one? Neo's in this movie? And why is Morpheus suddenly a bad guy, and where are my Gina Torres, Monica Bellucci and the Morlock rave?

Shouldn't the kid be making with the fire-meteors while the other X-Men choose sides, and the guy who "pushes" gets a nosebleed every time he does it?

I am so confused.

Blade / Nikita '08

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at October 21, 2008 4:47 AM

Seriously?

this is wat Dakota is doin these days?

Chris Evans, a leading man?

Camilla Belle, way too hot for this crap.

Djimon Hounsou, again? Is there no one else?

Daniel is spot on, as always. Wat a waste of film.

And wats up wit the Hong Kong setting? totally messed up an already messed up movie.

Posted by: haplo at October 21, 2008 8:38 AM

Hey, Chris Evans was hot as hell in Sunshine.

Posted by: Sara at October 21, 2008 10:04 AM

Wizard-fu from Mel Gibson's shitty ICON Productions starring Dakota Fanning. Gee, if they put Julia Roberts in it, it just may suck enough to spin the Earth off its axis.


Why won't Dakota Fanning just .... die? Hasn't the mothership sent out a return beacon for her yet?

Posted by: SpiceLux at October 22, 2008 2:19 AM