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Proof that It Is Possible to Erase all of Gary Oldman's Sex Appeal

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (53)

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Here are the first images from Catherine Hardwicke’s gothic re-imaging of Red Riding Hood, which stars Amanda Seyfried and Gary Oldman, who plays Father Solomon, the man tasked with tracking down and killing the werewolf. And if you’ve ever wondered how to extract all the sex appeal out of Oldman, the answer is: Magenta.


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(Source: Accidental Sexiness via Collider)









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Comments

Gary Oldman has sex appeal. It's true what they say: You need to learn something new every day to help keep your mind active.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at August 2, 2010 9:33 AM

Gothic re-imagining? It looks like a third rate Medieval Times.

And is that Virginia Madsen?

Posted by: Protoguy at August 2, 2010 9:39 AM

And since when is the Black Knight really a black guy? With a gay squire...

Posted by: Protoguy at August 2, 2010 9:40 AM

He is rocking some very stylish curtains, he is.

Posted by: twig at August 2, 2010 9:40 AM

Also, I LOVE what Gary Oldman is wearing and want one of my own for swanning around the house of an evening. You just know that thing twirls like a mofo.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at August 2, 2010 9:41 AM

Who ARE these people? I don't remember anyone but Little Red Riding Hood, a wolf and a huntsman in the story.

Is the gay ballet dancer with the decolletage going to dance a pas de deux with the knight with the whip?

I'M SO CONFUSED.

Posted by: BWeaves at August 2, 2010 9:43 AM

Why do we need this movie when we already have The Company of Wolves?

Posted by: Mike B. at August 2, 2010 9:49 AM

But intrigued?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at August 2, 2010 9:49 AM

Haha, I don't know if they can make Red Riding Hood goth but from the looks of that last picture they can make it fab-u-lous.

Mrs. Julien, Oldman has sex appeal. Remember his frenetic insanity in Leon? That was my favorite but his talent and versatility, not to mention arguably good looks, don't hurt him either.

Posted by: becks at August 2, 2010 9:54 AM

I'm not sure "frenetic insanity" is a phrase I have ever used to describe someone I find sexy, but to each their own. It was my secret husband William Powell's birthday on Thursday and I'm pretty sure his "secret wife" is a title few claim.

And while we are on the subject of talent, versatility and parturitions, Happy Birthday to Peter O'Toole!

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at August 2, 2010 10:02 AM

What? Peter O'Toole's birthday? Zounds!

Posted by: D-Day at August 2, 2010 10:07 AM

You've got a picture of Madsen and all you can mention is the Seyfried kid again?

Posted by: Jay at August 2, 2010 10:09 AM

You've got a picture of Madsen and all you can mention is the Seyfried kid again?

Posted by: Jay at August 2, 2010 10:09 AM

minge

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at August 2, 2010 10:12 AM

I love the cars and coffee cups...

It really takes me back in time.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at August 2, 2010 10:12 AM

minge

*shudder*

Posted by: Jay at August 2, 2010 10:14 AM

I don't know about these costumes.....they really do evoke an evening at Medieval Times.

Posted by: Danielle Lilly at August 2, 2010 10:17 AM

Wait a minute, is the film really taking place in a parking lot?

Posted by: zito at August 2, 2010 10:18 AM

zito, it's Dogme 95 style.

Posted by: twig at August 2, 2010 10:21 AM

So? I had a FANTASTIC time at Medieval Times! You know they've got a full bar, right?

Posted by: Jay at August 2, 2010 10:26 AM

Perhaps I'm not seeing clearly but I would not classify that color as "magenta". Looks more like plain old purple to me. Just sayin'.

Posted by: prairiegirl at August 2, 2010 10:32 AM

I would go so far as to say it is a true violet.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at August 2, 2010 10:36 AM

is it just me or do these look like bad ren-faire costumes? also, Gary Oldman is always sexy... even in Bram Stoker's Dracula... as old gross Dracula... there I said it.

Posted by: SaucyWench at August 2, 2010 10:37 AM

Yeah, I'd go with royal purple. Perhaps even orchid. Certainly no more than violet.

What?

Posted by: The Other Agent Johnson at August 2, 2010 10:38 AM

Um, nope. Not possible. I see his face and that's enough for me.

Posted by: Cindy at August 2, 2010 10:39 AM

Have they driven to the movieset dressed like that? Why are they skulking about in a parking lot? Will there be time travel involved? Did Oldman walk through a puddle? Questions, questions.

Posted by: Dugs at August 2, 2010 10:46 AM

I wondered if Oldman's costume was supposed to look dirty for verisimilitude. You know, in a fantasy movie.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at August 2, 2010 10:55 AM

@The Other Agent Johnson

We need Tim Gunn to make the final decision.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at August 2, 2010 10:56 AM

Does anyone else hear a voice in their head saying, "Designers. Designers." whenever Tim Gunn is mentioned?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at August 2, 2010 10:57 AM

i didn't realize they had starbuck's in yee olde times....

Posted by: glittergirl at August 2, 2010 10:57 AM

@glittergirl

And for ten bucks you could buy an exclusive CD of the music of
the spheres.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at August 2, 2010 11:00 AM

@glittergirl

They did, but back then it was called "StarlingBuckingham's"

Posted by: Dugs at August 2, 2010 11:01 AM

i didn't realize they had starbuck's in yee olde times....

Dude, I got a lot of tables.

Posted by: The Other Agent Johnson at August 2, 2010 11:20 AM

NOBODY expects the Oldman Inquisition.

Posted by: Vi at August 2, 2010 12:17 PM

Is the guy with Taye Diggs supposed to be in costume or not?

I fear for the state of fashion that I genuinly cannot tell.

Posted by: superasente at August 2, 2010 12:27 PM

I know it's been asked already in various ways, but what's up with the gay pirate?

Posted by: Kevin at August 2, 2010 12:50 PM

Is Hollywood suddenly going broke? Because those costumes look like they were swiped from the Podunk County Community Theater reject pile.

Posted by: Irving Washington at August 2, 2010 12:52 PM

No way in hell is that Taye Diggs

Posted by: Irina at August 2, 2010 1:32 PM

IMDB says black dude is Adrian Holmes. Also says Taylor Lautner was considered for playing Peter (the guy in the same picture). Totally see it.

Posted by: Me at August 2, 2010 1:35 PM

He's not a gay pirate. He's ACTING. That's why they call it...acting. Jeez. Obviously, he's a gifted thespian because he fooled several of you.

OK. I'll stop. Gay Pirate is no more ridiculous, though, than Oldman in purple dressing gown. Bweaves knows some stuff! I don't remember THAT character either (or any of these impostors). All I can is, I hope that parking lot is in Greenland or someplace because it is way too bloody hot right now to wear a robe like that further south than, say, Kuujjuacq.

(Had to use a magnifying glass to read that word on my trusty talking Geosafari globe)

Posted by: Stinky at August 2, 2010 1:37 PM

hell no!! the man is sexy no matter what! you want a real challenge: watch Tiptoes, where he plays a 'small person' and then ask that question.....talent is always sexy!!!

just watched 'book of eli' and that glorious laugh of his made me tingle from head to toe! god i love him.....!

Posted by: maxpurr9 at August 2, 2010 2:42 PM

1) Lukas Haas is in this?! SWEET.

2) Also, I LOVE what Gary Oldman is wearing and want one of my own for swanning around the house of an evening. You just know that thing twirls like a mofo.

Oh, Mrs. Julien. You complete me.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverdouche at August 2, 2010 2:50 PM

Lukas Haas! Lukas Haas!

Posted by: Jerce at August 2, 2010 3:11 PM

But, remember Gary Oldman in True Romance? He was so menacingly, slimily...never mind. Damn, he was sexy. There's just no way around it.

Mrs. Julien, more brilliant words were never written than, "You know that thing twirls like a mofo." I wish I had written those words, but more importantly, I wish that I could twirl around in a purple-velvet dressing gown and have people say, "Ain't she hot!" And not mean "hot," as in sweating.

Posted by: Stinky at August 2, 2010 4:21 PM

I bask in your approval.

And here I thought my joke about Ye Olde Starbucks with the exclusive CD of the Music of the Spheres was my best line.

What's the point of dressing up if it doesn't either twirl and/or, in keeping with DR's post about heterosexuality testing movies, have puff sleeves?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at August 2, 2010 4:32 PM

Once again, Mr. Rowles, you are sadly mistaken. That right there is pure sex.

Posted by: greer at August 2, 2010 5:40 PM

False- Gary Oldman will always be sexy. Always.

Posted by: lena at August 2, 2010 8:53 PM

Hee. That was also excellent. It's just that I also love twirly things, and you said "of an evening."

Posted by: Anna von Beaverdouche at August 2, 2010 9:06 PM

1. It's a really pretty color.
2. I can fit under it.
3. Y'all can leave now!

Posted by: jeanne at August 3, 2010 3:06 AM

At first I was excited about this movie, because I thought it would reflect somehow the style of Tim Burton. But seeing these images... I'd rather not pay for this.

Posted by: Arginnon at August 4, 2010 5:36 AM

Nope. Not possible. Man is so sexy I could even sit through The Scarlett Letter.

Posted by: balenga at August 4, 2010 7:15 AM

Come and join hot cougars, milfs' mingle club _____Cougarmony. C o m____ sensual old folks wanna recapture some youth while young guys wanna learn some old tricks!!

Posted by: cuttiebabe123 at August 4, 2010 8:06 AM

This just looks like the parking lot at the Renaissance Festival.

Posted by: Norwego at August 4, 2010 2:44 PM

gotta admit. The guy's robe flows very well for velvet...

Posted by: ashley at August 4, 2010 11:48 PM