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Do Me, Jakey Glistenhaal

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (17)

jake_gyllenhaal_prince_persia_behind.jpg

Here’s the second trailer for Jake Glistenhaal’s (you like that? I came up with that all by myself) Prince of Persia, hitting theaters on May 28th. Two words: Persian Cheeeeeeeeeeese. Good God, people. The way that Disney makes action movies (this, along with Pirates of the Caribbean), it’s like they’re trying to inspire a whole new generation of swashbuckling benders. The only thing this trailer is missing is a soaring musical rendition of “With a Little Bit of Luck.” ♫When temptation comes you’ll get right in!♫

And if you’re wondering why most of the trailer is done in Gemma Arterton’s voice-over narration, just listen to Jakey’s accent. Dear God. And if I’m not mistaken, at one point in this trailer, Mr. Glistenhaal (no, will never get tired of it) winks at me.

♫With a little bit of luck you’ll fit right in!♫









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Comments

The good news is, it's hard to talk in a bad accent when your mouth is full of the mini-Feist.

The mini-Feist is my penis.

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at March 2, 2010 11:39 AM

This is the best headline I have ever read.

I am so not watching the trailer, though.

Posted by: figgy at March 2, 2010 11:41 AM

I do NOT find Glistenhaal (god that's an awesome name) at all attractive, but from the head down, god DAMN. I must be horomonal or something cuz the Mr just started his Insanity workouts and if he ends up with a chest like that, he will not be allowed to leave our bedroom, like ever.

Posted by: Stella at March 2, 2010 11:44 AM

I can't help but think of the night, about 15 years from now, when Lil' Pajiba is at home goofing off with his buddies, when somebody says, "Yo, Lil' P. I found your old man's website, the one he had before The Incident." After clicking around the site for awhile, they'll stumble across this post. And they'll read this title. One by one, his friends will begin come up with lame excuses to leave and they'll shuffle out quietly, none of them able to look Lil' P in the eye. He'll left there, by himself, wondering, not for the first time, exactly what is behind that locked door in the basement.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at March 2, 2010 11:47 AM

Jakey looks SO pretty, and the movie looks SO bad...

Guess I'll watch it on cable sometime with the sound off, while casually touching myself during the shirtless parts.

Posted by: Drake at March 2, 2010 11:55 AM

Oh, and Tracer, that is another gold medal for you!

Posted by: Drake at March 2, 2010 11:55 AM

Does RyRey know about your cheatin' heat, Dustin?

Posted by: Cindy at March 2, 2010 12:29 PM

Dustin has room in his heart for BOTH teams. And Tracer, the way he talks about HIS dad leads me to believe that little Axl will love him just the same, warts and embarrassing-lapses-in-judgment-in-a-public-forum, just the same.

Posted by: replica at March 2, 2010 1:19 PM

*in search of an appropriate term such as 'warts and all' and yet failing to complete that notion...I have inadvertently spread rumours that Dustin has a mild skin-related disease. I'd just like to assert that is a typo/vicious lie.

Sigh.

Posted by: replica at March 2, 2010 1:22 PM

Dustin, two words: Gold Bond.

Posted by: Kolby at March 2, 2010 3:24 PM

The good news is, it's hard to talk in a bad accent when your mouth is full of the mini-Feist.

The mini-Feist is my penis.

If Figgy does not put Jeremy on the Eloquent Eloquence for this "made me laugh so hard I nearly wet my pants" comment I will drive to Texas, coat her in maple syrup and roll her in an ant hill.

Do you hear me Figgy?!? *shakes fist*

Posted by: Kelly at March 2, 2010 4:01 PM

And we have fire ants in Texas, so you know, that would REALLY suck, no pun intended, FeistMeister. erm, or maybe...

Posted by: Stella at March 2, 2010 4:23 PM

Ohhhhh, that looks so gorgeous. So so pretty, even without the Nake Jake.

I think I'd like to see this with the sound off. Do you think my local theater has a "Mute" button somewhere? Or will I have to wait for the DVD?

Posted by: Jerce at March 2, 2010 7:00 PM

Ohhhhhhhh.... Fuck the G-ayteam have indeed arrived...

The follwing disclaimer will be posted at the theater for the "Piss Of Persia"

"Please keep your hands and arms out of your manspouses ass at all times.... and refrain from faggotries for the remainder of the preformance"

Thank you and enjoy your ass ride......

Posted by: UhateMe at March 2, 2010 8:40 PM

This looks awful but Jake's accent is actually pretty good. It's a regional english accent rather than a classic Queen's English BBC one.
I keep reading American blogs slagging off the accent when it's actually good - it's just not the typical English accent you're used to hearing! I was really impressed when I heard it in the first trailer. It's refreshing to see an American actor attempt a real English accent rather than a posh one or a cockney one.
I'm from the north of England and whenever I've been to America, no-one can understand a word I'm saying.

Posted by: Katie at March 2, 2010 8:45 PM

my ex played this video game incessantly. glad to see they stayed true to it and put the extremely annoying wall-jumping parts in...

/sarcasm.

Posted by: jessica at March 2, 2010 9:47 PM

Katie's right - he's doing a pretty spot on Kent/South of England accent, same one I speak with! Huh, never knew they had my accent in Persia back in them days. Good to know...

Also, I'd just like to point out that this film looks like total and utter balls.

Posted by: PJ at March 3, 2010 3:43 PM