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Bless Me Father for I Am Stupid

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (16)



Priest_teaser_poster-thumb-330x482-32728.jpg

A few months ago, TK wrote up a bit about Paul Bettany’s next project with director Scott Stewart called Priest. It didn’t look horrible with the little tidbits that had leaked out: based on a comic book series, it’s a western in which a priest wages war on vampires. Casting news looked good: Christopher Plummer, Madchen Amick, and Paul Bettany as the eponymous ass kicking warrior priest. Maybe some pulpy fun, right?

Of course, last week Stewart and Bettany took a tag team dump on movie goers with Legion, a testament to mediocrity that should fit right in with the made for television junk tossed onto the SyFy Channel at midnight on Saturdays, so the duo’s credibility is sort of running low even before taking into account just how much Stewart altered the source material.

Priest (the film) is a post-apocalyptic future western involving a priest fighting vampires.

Priest (the comic book) is set in the old west and involves a priest fighting renegade angels and zombies.

This is apparently a difficult concept to grasp for Hollywood, but the word “adaptation” is not a synonym for “Has the same title.”

Stewart assures us though that “Min-woo [the writer of the original graphic novels] came out and visited us over the summer. He’d read a translation of the script and came out and was really, really pleased with what he saw. We talk about the graphic novels as being the past, and [the film version of] Priest is kind of the future.”

Dude, all that means is that the check cleared, just like how American actors go do terrible commercials in Japan for the easy check. Sean Connery doesn’t really love Biogurt, he just loves money a lot more than he cares about how stupid he looks on television in a country he never goes to. Want to use my likeness in Pakistani STD commercials? Bidding starts at $50.

(source: SciFi Wire)









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Comments

Priest (the film) is a post-apocalyptic future western involving a priest fighting vampires.

Priest (the comic book) is set in the old west and involves a priest fighting renegade angels and zombies.

Now...just combine those. Priest is a post-apocalyptic future western involving a priest fighting zombies.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at January 26, 2010 9:44 AM

Perhaps Hollywood should scrap all the Priest shyte and work on an actual adaptation from Preacher, the comic book.

"Preacher tells the story of Jesse Custer, a down-and-out preacher in the small Texas town of Annville. Custer was accidentally possessed by the supernatural creature named Genesis in an incident which killed his entire congregation and flattened his church. Custer, driven by a strong sense of right and wrong, goes on a journey across the United States attempting to (literally) find God, who abandoned Heaven the moment Genesis was born."

And I will take Paul Bettany. Twice, with whipped cream on top.

Posted by: Lurkey Turkey at January 26, 2010 9:58 AM

Now a Preacher adaptation would be great, but that's assuming they would do a good job with it. Which means it's a horrible, horrible idea.

Eh...this stinks of Legion, which I have heard from several sources was a bad, bad movie. I'll catch it on late night TBS if I still have cable.

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at January 26, 2010 10:03 AM

No... God did not abandon Heaven.
He was destroyed in favor of his new matrix.
In six minutes.

Posted by: Rykker at January 26, 2010 10:28 AM

Oh no you are NOT cutting in to my Pakistani STD money! I've already done the clap and crabs, and my agent is hopeful that we can get in on the ground floor of the whole Valtrex campaign!

Posted by: Mrcreosote at January 26, 2010 11:01 AM

The whole "Priest" vs "Preacher" thing confuses the shit out of me. I don't feel like calling on my research assistant (Wikipedia) so anyone want to sum these stories up? I think I thought Preacher and Priest were the same story, just Hollywoodized to appeal to Catholics. I know that's a stupid thought but I'm trying to think like a typical studio exec. And now I have a hankering for underage Taiwaneese boys and I want to go remake Jaws starring Bob Pattinson as Chief Broody, Channing Tatum as Hooker, and a special appearance by Paul Walker as grizzled fishermen Quail. It's a can't miss synergy! Someone get me Brett Ratner on the phone before the mountain of blow on my desk makes me forget this brilliance!

Posted by: TylerDFC at January 26, 2010 11:10 AM

If there's something we need more than another vampire movie, it's a another comic book adaptation! Combine the two, and awesomeness ensues! If only our creative friends in Hollywood could combine: a vampire movie, a comic book adaptation, a re-make of a shitty 80s tv show, and "re-boot" of the entire franchise of all of the previously mentioned things, we could just end all cinema in a gigantic climactic explosion of brilliance and greatness.

Posted by: Hoof Hearted at January 26, 2010 11:25 AM

"Legion, a testament to mediocrity that should fit right in with the made for television junk tossed onto the SyFy Channel..."


--------------------------------------


You're giving it way too much credit.

Posted by: Oracle at January 26, 2010 11:45 AM

Anyone else feel like vampires are just pussy zombies?

Posted by: superasente at January 26, 2010 2:55 PM

Haven't we casted Preacher in a comment section around here? As long as Sam Elliott is The Saint of Killers I think I'd be ok.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 26, 2010 4:10 PM

What the fuck? I love me some vampires but zombies ALWAYS > vampires. It's a mathematical fact. Look it up.

Posted by: stardust at January 26, 2010 6:08 PM

Preacher would be fun. I never read Priest, but Preacher is great besides that shitty little arc when Jesse becomes sheriff of a small town.

Posted by: Lucas at January 26, 2010 11:14 PM

Searched Google and ended up here - its good so I posted the site on my Facebook account !

Posted by: Myra at December 11, 2010 7:54 AM

Searched Google and ended up here - its good so I posted the site on my Facebook account !

Posted by: Myra at December 11, 2010 9:11 PM

Searched Google and ended up here - its good so I posted the site on my Facebook account !

Posted by: Myra at December 11, 2010 11:18 PM

Searched Google and ended up here - its good so I posted the site on my Facebook account !

Posted by: Suzanne at December 11, 2010 11:37 PM


















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