February 23, 2009 | Comments ()

By Miscellaneous | Trade News | February 23, 2009 |


Greetings, once again, fellow purveyors of the strange and wonderful!

I am sorry I have taken so long to write a new entry, but I got caught up preparing form my first Dungeons and Dragons game as DM. Right now, the party barely eked out a victory and just achieved level 2. I intend to make the journey to level 3 a bit more difficult.

(Note: if your response to the above paragraph is any permutation of “I don’t care,” “This is a movie website,” or what have you, you are more than welcome to leave, while those who stay wonder why you bothered clicking the link in the first place. No one is holding a gun to your head. Yet.)

As referenced in the title of this entry, Natalie Portman is rumored to be joining the cast of the upcoming Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. It does seem to conflict with her previous “no horror movies” stance from back in the day, but maybe all those puppies(!) made her lighten up to the prospect. Besides, bashing undead skulls while professing love for a distant cad is the sort of stuff the Academy (should) eat right up.

In good news/fucking terrible shit for brains goddammit (*&)*)*&^TRT#G(@*#*GD*# news, Brett Ratner has dropped one of his projects due to too many plates of shit in the air. The good news: the film he dropped was God of War, an adaptation of the award-winning (and too awesome) Playstation video game series. The goddamn Murdertank-worthy bad news? Ratner dropped it to start working on Trump Heist, a film about two janitors who try to rob Trump Towers. Isn’t that neat? I mean, it isn’t like such a story is all that common, let alone failed to take off (“Knights of Prosperity,” Mad Money).

Oh, and the janitors will be played by Eddie Murphy and Chris Tucker. No word if Trump will appear, but knowing him, count on it.

Go ahead and have your conniptions now.

The Expendables, the action movie with possibly the most crazy-awesome cast ever (Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Mickey Rourke, and Dolph Lundgren at last count) just got even crazier. Danny “Machete” Trejo has been cast as one of the main bad guys in the flick, while Eric “No, The Other One” Roberts has replaced Ben Kingsley. The film will also feature a cameo by Arnold Schwarzenegger as himself, the Governor of California. I don’t know what else to say about that, really. Except maybe “where the hell is Bruce Willis on this?”

In High School Musical weird casting news, Zac Efron is being courted to play the lead role in a big-screen version of (ugh) Johnny Quest. Dwayne Johnson (who has now officially dropped “The Rock”) is going for the role of Race Bannon (I wonder if he is going to rock the white hair). Efron’s so-star/girlfriend/beard Vanessa Hudgens is being pursued to star in the adaptation of (once Viper, now) Image Comics’ DEAD @ 17, according to creator Josh Howard. The comic series involves a murdered teenage girl who returns from the grave, a prophesied savior who uses her new abilities to fight evil. Lorenzo DiBonaventure (Transformers, GI Joe) is producing, Mike Dougherty (X2, Superman and his Baby’s Mama Returns) is penning a script.

It seems the Watchmen magic is going to flow to some other DC properties. I lauded the excellent Vertigo series The Losers in a previous Weekly Geek, as well as mentioning the impending celluloid version. While the film has shed four(!) directors (and is currently in the hands of Stomp The Yard helmer Sylvain White), it has managed to pick up Jeffrey Dean Morgan (Roscharch in Watchmen, some show on the CW). Morgan will play the leader of the rogue Special Forces group out to find the CIA handler that betrayed them.

Hey, do you want to be in a comic book movie? Well, if you do, and are often described as:

“Male MUST BE MID-LATE 20’S and SIX FEET OR TALLER. LEAD.”

Physically powerful, very handsome, occasionally egotistical, petulant, and wild. A natural warrior with a quick charming wit who must be genuinely and severely humbled before becoming the compassionate, mature hero of our film.”

…well then, Kenneth Branaugh and Co. want YOU to audition to be Thor, God of Thunder. That sounds a lot like Prisco to me. Anyone else here want our very own thespian to give it a shot?

A moment of silence for ABC Family’s “The Middleman,” the quirky little show that almost could. Based on a series of graphic novels by Javier Grillo-Marxuach (first two seasons of “Lost,” several other shows both awesome and not), it told the story of Wendy “Dub-Dub” Watson (Natalie Morales), a young photogenic artist who shares an illegal sublet with her best friend Lacey. She also serves as trainee and partner of the current Middleman (Matt Kesslar), who serves as humanity’s first and last line of defense against the weirdest threats imaginable. Facing down a secret sect of Lucha Libre wrestlers, an immortal Titanic survivor (and total jerk) seeking to find the tuba that keeps him alive, a quintet of intergalactic dictators hidden on Earth as a popular boy band, and even a frequently unclothed Kevin Sorbo, “The Middleman” also managed to throw a metric ton of pop culture riffs, even having entire themes for episodes (as in the “ghost” episodes revolving around Ghostbusters references). Despite great critical response and a devoted fandom, the show (like many before) failed to bring in decent ratings for a cable show. But the network uncharacteristically allowed the showrunners to retain control and finish showing all 12 original episodes (filming the 13th intended episode was canceled, both because of the ratings and to put the funding into the broadcast series finale). Originally on hiatus, it was confirmed the show was canceled a few days ago. But not to worry Middlefans, because not only will there be a DVD release of the entire series (with tons of bonus material) in July, but close behind will be The Middleman - The Doomsday Armageddon Apocalypse, a graphic novel by Grillo-Marxuach and co-creator/executive producer Les McClaine, based on the 13th episode and acting as a true series finale. You can find out more about the show either at ABC Family’s official website or the Middleblog.

This week’s suggested comic is PS238 (Dork Storm/Do Gooder Press): an elementary school for superheroes (and a few villains). The protagonist is usually Tyler, a kid stuck at the school with no powers, except common sense and a healthy sense of preservation. Occasionally the story focuses on the other super-powered students and faculty at the school. A superhero parody that ends up played kinda straight. If you like this, also try the older Nodwick, a similar sendup of fantasy and RPG tropes by the same guy.

Your Trailer Watch is from Yatterman, the newest project from Takashi Miike (Audition). He has chosen to forego the crazy women with razor wire, and instead joined in his country’s pastime of giant robots and dinosaurs. Gotta love these crazy bastards:



Claude Weaver III, aka Vermillion, is running a fundraiser called “selling his shit”. . He can be found hiding under his blog, Vermillion’s Brain Receptacle.

Natalie%20Portman%20Sexy.jpg
I Hear Harvard-Educated Brains Tastes Kinda Gamey

The Weekly Geek / Claude Weaver III

Trade News | February 23, 2009 | Comments ()




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