Prepare to Piss Tears: Based on the Trailer, Let's Predict Who Will Die in the New Nicholas Sparks' Movie

film / tv / lists / guides / news / love / celeb / video / think pieces / staff / podcasts / web culture / politics / dc / snl / netflix / marvel / cbr

Prepare to Piss Tears: Based on the Trailer, Let's Predict Who Will Die in the New Nicholas Sparks' Movie

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | October 24, 2012 | Comments ()


I love that I could use the "piss tears" line twice in one day and have it work in different contexts (and it works double here, as it's exactly what Nicholas Sparks' movies are designed to do, and it reminds us of the marital connection between Josh Duhamel and Fergie).

Anyway, I have sadly seen so many Nicholas Sparks movies (one of the few downsides of the job) that I am conditioned now to know that, after a quick shift in tone, someone will die abruptly at the end of his films. Who will it be in Safe Haven? Well, the trailer gives us a few possibilities: Josh Duhamal is a widower with kids who falls for a character played by Julianne Hough, whose best friend or sister is played by Cobie Smulders (oh, Cobie). It looks like your typical, generic Sparks' romance, but we also see that there's a jealous, abusive lover in Hough's past. Who will die? Will it be the lover? Will the jealous lover kill Duhamel, Hough, or Cobie? Or will Sparks ruthlessly kill off a child?

My money, actually, is on Cobie because otherwise why hire an actress of her caliber to play the best friend role in a Sparks' movie? She tries to prevent the jealous lover from getting to Hough, and bam: Dead.

Book readers: Please don't hesitate to spoil it, and then flog yourself three times for admitting you read the book.

Pajiba Love Express
Here's some Daveed Diggs for you. On Daveed Diggs' digs, actually. That man does things with clothes that should not make sense, but are absolutely perfect. (Go Fug Yourself)

Woody Allen has "so moved on" from his daughter's accusations and says he never even thinks about it. He equates her words about him to a bad review he won't read and comments on how wacky it is that Mia Farrow is his mother-in-law. He is the worst. (Celebitchy)

Not The Worst but still very gross: Leonardo DiCaprio and his Pussy Posse Wolf Pack were on the douche prowl in NYC. (Lainey)

Here are 5 under-the-radar shows. I had never even heard of the first two. (Uproxx)

Bigots, Trolls & MRAs Are Not Welcome in the Comments

Recent Reviews

Recent News

Privacy Policy