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January 19, 2009 |

By TK Burton | Industry | January 19, 2009 |

Hold on to your asses, folks, because I’m here to drop some Twilight knowledge on you. Yes, I know, I’ve never even touched one of the books, I couldn’t name a single character, I never even saw a trailer for the first one, and at the moment, I forget the damn author’s name too. But if that piece of crap can make a bajillion dollars, than I can write about this.

Apparently, there’s going to be a sequel, called New Moon. Well, this isn’t even about that. They’ve already greenlit the third entry, called Eclipse (ooh! so mysterious! so intriguing! GET! FUCKED!). That’s ridiculous, but more ridiculous are the current directorial candidates. Apparently, the first candidate is James Mangold. Mangold is responsible for some damn fine flicks, like Cop Land, 3:10 To Yuma, and Girl, Interrupted.

The other possibility is Juan Antonio Bayona, the Spanish director who made 2007’s excellent The Orphanage.

What the fucking fuck is going the fuck on around here? First Catherine Hardwicke, who did the remarkable Thirteen, gets sucked into Twilight. Chris Weitz (The Golden Compass, was tapped for New Moon but he’s no big deal. But this? Look, just because Harry Potter gets a couple of decent directors, now any crapass book with magic and teen angst shows up, and quality directors are banging down the doors?

Because I’m bored and a little drunk, I did some Youtube searching for Twilight. I found this. It’s ten seconds long, and perfect in every way.

Everyone! Look Over Here! More Twilight News!

Kill Yourself / TK

Industry | January 19, 2009 |

TK Burton is the Editorial Director. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.

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