Pajiba

I see this as good news. I've only read one Tim Powers book (Last Call) so far but I loved that one. And I really like the Pirates movies. All of them. The sequels were gigantic, bloated, and near incomprehensible but I love the world they created and how detailed it all is. I wish Elizabeth was coming back though, her character was really great in At World's End.

gp I dunno man, I could have made that up, but it's what I remember. She was a storm...or something, for reasons that escape me.

Someone definitely became wind. I'm sure of it. Mostly I remember shifting around uncomfortably in my seat, grimacing.

Neodiogenes, there's a difference between following the plot and being engaged/entertained by it.

I followed the plot of the second two just fine. And I'm on record elsewhere for really liking by-the-numbers gimmicks like the role reversal on Norrington and what not. There were a number of things the films did right from a pure spectacle and summer entertainment perspective.

But it came at a severe cost to the characters. A lot of the "drama" in the second two movies relied upon inconsistent characterization and lack of character growth. Elizabeth handled the former and Will did will with the latter.

Basically, everything hinged upon the fact that Will remained so callow as to be a complete idiot and Elizabeth had to become a total jackass and nearly completely unlikable to drive the plot "forward." They were the core of the first movie, but were eviscerated as characters by the sequels, IMO.

In a way, throwing them overboard could be good for the franchise, but on the other hand, Jack and Barbossa are both such broad caricatures that I don't think they can carry a movie without an injection of new characters that come a little bit closer to real people, or at least movie archetypes that are a little more relatable, the way Will and Elizabeth were in the first movie.

Considering the lost sequel momentum, this could be a good chance for Disney to go back to the first movie's plot coherence, or it might just end up being, as you say, a circus.

The whole Calypso thing was kind of neat even if it didn't make much sense. I think Disney assumes people are just going to stfu and watch the movie, and not think much about it, because come on, it's Disney. That's not a good path to take, but they're taking it.

Whatever happens, this is going to be BIG and entertaining (in some way, train-wrecky or not).

My cousin said she's getting cast in Pirates' 4 as some sort of saucy wench. It suits her.

"Some Say that Pirates Steal and Should Be Feared and Hated; I Say We're Victims of Bad Press, It's All Exaggerated "

MUPPET TREASURE ISLAND REFERENCE
AAAAAA
Omigod.
Omigod.
Christ. I just had a Mupporgasm. I'm sitting in a lebanese diner right now. Bloquiste Tremblay at the cash just said "Je voudrais ce qu'elle mange."

(If you don't speak French, all that was fucking funny.)

The lack of Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightly would likely be my number one reason to see this film. Seriously. Johnny Depp and Geoffrey Rush would probably have better romantic chemistry as the characters they already play.

Imagine, if you will, a skeletal Barbosa flicking his tounge through his open cheek in the moonlight while admitting that the real reason he's so hard on Jack Sparrow is that he just needs some love. Jack, throwing his beaded dreadlocks out of his mascara-streaked face (it's also raining, for some reason), admits that he's sorry, and that he would love it if Barbosa would join him for a dance. Did I forget to mention the string quartet on the deck of the Black Pearl? Because they're there, playing Bach. Anyway, after a beautiful romantic ballroom dance, Sparrow dips Barbosa down and plants a steamy kiss on his lipless skull. Bonus shot, you can see their tongues doing the tango in Barbosa's mouth.

...Sorry, what was my point again? Oh right, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightly, shitty acting.

You know, I never thought about it before, but I wonder how much money there is in gay erotic fan fiction.

"You know, I never thought about it before, but I wonder how much money there is in gay erotic fan fiction."

Sorry, Christian H., but I think too many people are giving it away for free on the internet. Severely lowers the market value.

Christian H, slash only pays in fangirl squees.

Christian H, slash only pays in fangirl squees.

Posted by: myysharona (formerly Sharon) at October 8, 2009 2:19 PM

Yes, but I'm pretty sure those are good for at least one free copy of Twilight. Which can then be transformed into more slash!

Just kidding.

...Twilight already IS slash.

The biggest crime committed by the Pirates sequels (aside from, you know... not being very good) was wasting a Keith Richards cameo. I get the joke; Depp's performance as Sparrow was inspired by Richards. But he was inspired by Richards' charisma. Keith Richards is a showman, all broad gestures and attitude. Instead of getting him to bring that stuff to the film, they had him sitting still and reading from a book. Stupid decision.