February 3, 2009 | Comments ()

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | February 3, 2009 |


Michael Phelps was recently photographed smoking some wacky tabacky at a college party, and has come out to apologize for his awful behavior. This comes a few years after he was accused of drinking at a college party. Of course, this all comes from a few months ago, when he WON EVERY FUCKING GOLD MEDAL AT THE OLYMPICS.

I thought we were past this phase of shame-shame culture? Maybe in 1992, when President Pants On Fire claimed he “didn’t inhale.” The guy after him was a cokehead alcoholic who’s daughters managed to stumble three steps ahead of Joe Francis’ First Daughters Gone Wild crew. And now, our current president has not only smoked pot, but admitted to using other drugs. So Phelps smoked a doob. It obviously didn’t affect his performance.

Now, Phelps might lose his endorsements, because he admitted that he smoked marijuana. Guess that Guitar Hero endorsement goes out the window. You know, the one with Derek Jeter, Tony Hawk — who I’m sure has NEVER smoked pot (isn’t there a rule that you at least have to be 65% high to participate in the X Games?), and KOBE FUCKING BRYANT. Rape charges aren’t enough to prevent you from singing “Old Time Rock and Roll”, but god forbid you toke.

I hate you, corporate America.

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What A Monster! A Big Green Monster!

How Dare You / Brian Prisco

Trade News | February 3, 2009 | Comments ()



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