Yesterday was an awesome day for literary types who don’t actually like to read, as several cinematic adaptations of novels were announced.
McG is producing an adaptation of 20-year-old Kody Keplinger’s Duff (Designated Ugly Fat Friend) about a 17-year-old high school student who hates a guy soooo much that she throws coke in his face. That that. Here’s the insipid synopsis:
Seventeen-year-old Bianca Piper is cynical and loyal, and she doesn’t think she’s the prettiest of her friends by a long shot. She’s also way too smart to fall for the charms of man-slut and slimy school hottie Wesley Rush. In fact, Bianca hates him. And when he nicknames her “Duffy,” she throws her Coke in his face. But things aren’t so great at home right now. Desperate for a distraction, Bianca ends up kissing Wesley. And likes it. Eager for escape, she throws herself into a closeted enemies-with-benefits relationship with Wesley. Until it all goes horribly awry. It turns out that Wesley isn’t such a bad listener, and his life is pretty screwed up, too. Suddenly Bianca realizes with absolute horror that she’s falling for the guy she thought she hated more than anyone.
Meanwhile, Renee Zellweger has acquired the film rights to Brantly Martin’s novel Pillage, which is about ” four best friends living in Manhattan who rebel against their dead-end lives by searching for the perfect party in the downtown nightlife scene.” So, a 90-minute version of a SATC episode? Lovely. Just fucking lovely. (Source; Variety)
Brad Pitt’s Plan B Production company has acquired the rights to The Imperfectionist, by Tom Rachman. Deadline reports that it’s about about the inner workings of an English-language newspaper in Rome.
Warner Brothers has picked up the rights to the graphic novel 3 Story: The Secret History of the Giant Man and asked Dustin Lance Black (Milk) to pen the script and direct the adaptation. As Heat Vision writes, the graphic novel is “a modern fable, exploring the life of a giant man, Craig Pressgang, whose strange medical condition causes continuous growth. The tale is told from the point of view of three women — his mother, wife and daughter — and follows Craig’s journey from birth to his eventual three-story height. It also serves as an exploration of loneliness and love’s changing nature.”
Finally, while we’re on the subject of book adaptations, in particular one that I am so goddamn tired of talking about: Steve Zallian, the original screenwriter for Moneyball before Aaron Sorkin took over and finally got the movie greenlit, has been brought back again to do a revision before Sorkin will again be brought back to do another polish, at which time it will no doubt be entirely scrapped and we’ll have to start all over again. (Deadline)
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I thought from your intro to Duffy that you had said she threw coke (cocaine) in his face and I was horrified. That would almost be as bad as that "Revenge Crabs" thing.
Holy shit, I didn't recognize Zellweger with her eyes fully open.
Posted by: Bert at June 2, 2010 11:42 AM
Whatever, call me when they decide to adapt Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Which I also didn't bother to read, but at least it has Zombies. Just like SatC, but classier.
Shouldn't Brad Pitt's production company finish some of that back catalog of novels they bought before buying more? World War Z isn't going to happen, is it? Because they bought the rights before realizing it wasn't a zombie comedy or a straightforward narrative? Damn it.
Xtreme, they are adapting P&P&Z. Natalie Portman is set to star in it.
Fuck waiting for the adaptations! I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm proud to say that if the trailer intrigues me, I'll go out of my way to read the book before seeing the film. As much as I love the movies, I'll be goddamned if they replace the paper and binding on my shelf and the imagination in my mind.
Not to mention, when Hollywood adapts a film, they pussy out. The last cardinal should have died in Angels and Demons, the kid separated from his daemon should have died in The Golden Compass, Dodgson comes BACK in The Lost World, and Willy Wonka...ok, so Hollywood DOESN'T always fuck it up. God do I love Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
Point is, to paraphrase Charlton Heston, Hollywood can have my books if they can pry them from my cold, dead hands.
Bert, I didn't even know it was her until you said that.
Posted by: dsbs at June 2, 2010 12:26 PM
Well, I for one am super psyched. Not because of any of the adaptations, but because Aaron Sorkin! is still alive. I mean, I didn't think he was dead or anything, but it's good to hear about him. I start going through withdrawal pretty quickly, and it's been over a week since I've watched anything he's written. This counts as a mini-fix. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go spend some quality time with my lover, Dan Rydell.
Posted by: esme at June 2, 2010 12:38 PM
she doesn’t think she’s the prettiest of her friends by a long shot.
...even though the actress totally will be.
Posted by: Todd at June 2, 2010 12:54 PM
" It also serves as an exploration of loneliness and love’s changing nature.”
SPOILER: When he reaches 2 stories tall, he starts screwing elephants.
Posted by: BWeaves at June 2, 2010 1:37 PM
I thought that Duff was about a girl throwing cocaine into a dude's face. And then he gets addicted. And his life gets ruined. And its all her fault. Don't ask how I managed to make this conjecture about 2 seconds after reading the first sentence.
And is the girl fat in the book? Because I would love to see Hollywood's version of the ugly, fat friend.
Posted by: juicyjui at June 2, 2010 1:50 PM
Until it all goes horribly awry.
Now THAT is the word that should have been banned.
or "ensue"
"goes horribly awry" or "hilarity ensues" should be stricken from all movie concepts.
Posted by: mswas at June 2, 2010 3:01 PM
Given the current state of movie comedies an argument could be makde the hilarity ensues has been stricken from all of their concepts.
I thought from your intro to Duffy that you had said she threw coke (cocaine) in his face and I was horrified. That would almost be as bad as that "Revenge Crabs" thing.