Pearl-Clutching Mommy Bigots Have Worked Themselves into a Tizzy Over Ryan Murphy's Gay Baby Show
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Pearl-Clutching Mommy Bigots Have Worked Themselves into a Tizzy Over Ryan Murphy's Gay Baby Show

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | July 23, 2012 | Comments ()


Remember those One Million Mom assholes? The smattering of women with only 48,500 Facebook Followers who unsuccessfully protested JCPennys use of Ellen DeGeneres as a spokesperson earlier this year? Now they have turned their attention to Ryan Murphy's new sitcom, "The New Normal." The upcoming NBC series about a gay couple (Justin Bartha and Andrew Rannells) who try to have a child through a surrogate (Georgia King). One Million Moms website is accusing NBC of "using public airwaves to continue to subject families to the decay of morals and values, and the sanctity of marriage in attempting to redefine marriage. These things are harmful to our society, and this program is damaging to our culture."

You know what else is harmful to society? Horrible human beings like the One Million Moms. Also Daniel Tosh.

"Millions of Americans strongly believe that marriage should be between one man and one woman. NBC's The New Normal is attempting to desensitize America and our children. It is the opposite of how families are designed and created. You cannot recreate the biological wheel."

Funny things about those marriages between one man and one woman: They keep producing those goddamn gay babies, which is really the root of the problem. Maybe if the One Million Moms really wanted to go to the source of the problem, they'd protest whatever hard alcohol it is that they drink that allows them to have sex with their ugly goddamn husbands.

Oh, but at least they got their facts straight:

The organization is calling on sponsors to boycott the program. "It is proven this strategy works!" their statement continues. "It was not too long ago that NBC announced The Playboy Club was canceled after only three episodes because of lack of advertisers!

Was it really the lack of advertisers, or was it because NO ONE WATCHED THE F---ING SHOW BECAUSE IT WAS HORRIBLE.

GOD, I hate bigots.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • Mrs. Beasley

    I can imagine what most of these lovelies look like. So homosexuality is unacceptable but beastiality is not a problem? Good to know. I guess pigs need a little bit o lovin too.

  • theOptimus

    Gay is not a universally established biological characteristic or category. There is no such thing as a gay baby. Either your statement is a joke, or you are.

  • Maguita NYC

    Actually, you would be quite happy to know that it was discovered a few years ago that homosexuality is most strongly correlated to the shape of the amygdala, a brain structure which forms prior to birth.

    So there is such a thing as a gay baby.

    The amygdalas of gay men resemble those of straight women, and the amygdalas of gay women resemble those of straight men. We can examine these brain structures in infants and predict with fairly high accuracy now whether they will be gay.

    A gay person isn't just an ordinary Joe or Jane who chooses to be attracted to members of the same sex. They are physiologically gay. You may have noticed that gay men and women have radically different aesthetics than their straight counterparts as well. It's all tied to these very deep-seated features of the brain.

    So now that you know that babies are actually born gay, you could quite obviously with much hurry, leave homophobia and all sorts of bigotry far-far behind you.

    Live long, and f-cking prosper.

  • Maguita NYC

    I truly hope it was you @theOptimus:disqus that downvoted my scientifically factual comment, for I would be disappointed if it were the usual Pajiban admirer who indiscriminately downvotes whatever written. Never mistook that one for a blindly homophobic bigot; Just a bored lil' goober.

  • Guest

    Down-voting is the first ( and last ) refuge of those who are incapable of argument. Another typical tactic of these types is calling everyone who disagrees with them intolerant.

  • NateMan

    Hey hey hey. HEY. You may have your issues with Daniel Tosh. Most of us do at the moment. But even Tosh knows the Million Moms are fuckwits.

  • Green_Eggs_and_Hamster

    "Millions of Americans strongly believe that marriage should be between one man and one woman."

    You know, that is such BS. I read the bible, and if 2 Wives and 2 slave "Wifes" was good enough for the Patriarch Jacob, and he was beloved of God, then I think it will do just fine for me. And as a Bonus, I am definitely stealing my Brother's inheritance. If you are going to base your actions today based on stuff written thousands of years ago then I want to know why you get to pick and choose what it is we all supposedly believe.

    You know what makes a family a$$holes? Love. I doubt that is something these "Million" moms get much of in there lives. But if people love each other, than it doesn't matter a damn bit whether a "Million" moms think they are a family or not.

    Sometimes I hope there is a Hell, just for Bigots like them.

  • googergieger

    Know what's weirder than one million mom assholes? One million and one moms.

    Cause there is an asshole missing.

    I'm sorry, carry on.

  • Jezzer


  • me

    they are still bitching about this?
    live and let live already.

  • Becca

    I just feel bad for the children of these bigots. Think about it, even if they are only a few thousand people instead of a million, statistically that still means a good chunk of their children will happen to be gay. And where will these kids end up? Either as Tea Party politicians or church workers who make the papers by having sex with prostitutes, or huddled under bridges because they got kicked out and have no where to go. 'Tis a sad, sad thing my friends.

  • lowercase_ryan

    So either Modern Family is more clever in concept than I thought or these people are dumber than I could have dreamed. How else does that get a pass and this not?

  • Bert_McGurt

    I'm not sure, but I suspect it has to do with Sofia Vergara's boobs.

  • Puddin

    I like the Million Mom ladies, because there last protest made me actually want to support JC Penney. So I went there for the first time since 1996 and it is AWESOME now! I got three adorable dresses for, like, sixty bucks and downloaded their app on my phone. So thank you, thank you Million Mom ladies. If it werent for you, I would never have found my fabulous Bijou Bijou dress that I will be wearing to my best friends big ol' gay wedding. HA HA HA HA HA.

  • Becca

    I just feel bad for the children of these bigots. Think about it, even if they are only a few thousand people rather than a million, statistically that still means a good number of their children will happen to be gay. And where will those kids end up? Either suppressing their sexuality as a 45 year old deacon by having sex with prostitutes, or huddled under an underpass because they got kicked out and have no where to go. 'Tis a sad, sad thing my friends.

  • Mr_Zito

    One Million Moms is harming the sanctity of math and trying to redefine "one million" to mean "a few thousand stupid people".

  • competitivenonfiction

    It's the biblical definition of one million.

  • BierceAmbrose

    How about we ignore them until they go away? The can't-count crew, I mean.

    Won't matter to us how long their tantrum lasts. We won't notice.

  • BiblioGlow

    “Millions of Americans strongly believe that marriage should be between one man and one woman."
    Have they not already proven that they can't count to one million?

  • Maguita NYC

    On the same subject, are we going to discuss Huckabee's "Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day" in response to the left's supreme bigotry?

    Yes, he called it this: In response to the intolerant bigotry of the left.

  • melissa82

    HA! Wow. I almost want to go to glare at people. Look at The Appreciators with judge-y eyes. You know, how they look at nearly everyone.

  • dizzylucy

    They should be protesting the fact that Ryan Murphy keeps making crap TV.

    In all seriousness, if you don't like it...don't watch. Don't let your kids watch. And then leave everyone else alone to decide what they want to do, end of story.

    I wonder how many of those 4.8% of a million moms are actually in happy, faithful, loving marriages. I'm guessing not all of them! The person IRL that I knew who most protested gay marriage had been married 3 times and with an additional broken engagement (and 2 kids along the way). How she felt entitled to tell anyone else what to do was beyond me.

  • PaddyDog

    "You cannot recreate the biological wheel"

    One hell of a statement from a group, the majority of whose members do not believe in evolution.

  • Archie Leach

    The 100 moms group need have no worries when it comes to me as I don't watch network television EVER and I wouldn't even had ever heard of this network show "New Normal" - hell it took till the 4th season for me to even have heard of "Breaking Bad" and I still haven't seen it - NOW I MIGHT try to find this show to see how it measures up as far as the usual network dreck.....which will be difficult on my part as I never watch network dreck....

  • Mrcreosote

    Wait, this biological wheel, does it keep on turning? Rollin, rollin, rollin on the river perhaps?

  • Psychicdog

    I think it's more of a spinning wheel, where one rides a painted pony and talks about their troubles.

  • Bert_McGurt

    If proud Mary keeps on burnin', though, you should probably go get some pennicillin.

  • branded_redux

    You cannot recreate the biological wheel.

    "And God made the biological wheel and made it go round and round all through the town, and it was so.

    Then God said, 'Let there not be wipers, for I find them too swishy and unnatural.' And it was not so."

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    Kind of like your corduroy pants, Branded.

  • branded_redux

    "And God said, 'But of the corduroy pants of good and evil, thou shalt not wear: for in the day that thou wearest thereof thy thighs rubbing whilst be heard throughout creation, and
    thou shalt surely die of sweating and embarrassment.'"

  • Maguita NYC

    Hell hath no fury like a pair of leather pants scorned.

  • BierceAmbrose


    "swishy and unnatural" - genius.

  • KoniginK

    If you don't believe in gay marriage then don't enter into one. It's NONE of your business what other people chose to do in their relationships so BUTT OUT less-than-a-million Moms! I'm a Mom of 2 and soon to be grandma of 1 and it's none of MY business what these women do in their personal relationships. Live and let live you crazy, meddling, hateful, homophobic b****es!

  • Az

    Someone give these hags a Shake Weight and a copy of 50 Shade of Gray, STAT.

  • 0xfefefefe

    I'm always astounded that people think they have a right to impose their beliefs on someone else in America.

  • Bert_McGurt

    "It is the opposite of how families are designed and created."
    You know, as an engineer, if I designed and created something that fell apart and failed more than half the time it was implemented (yet insisted it was perfect and wonderful and the ONLY way to do things), I'd be out of a job so fast I wouldn't even have time to grab my lunch out of the fridge before they kicked my ass out the door.

  • Kiddo

    Bert- You are my favorite thing today.

  • This makes as much sense as "your argument is invalid because

  • bbmcrae

    And we should listen to the guy shilling his scammy-sounding blog because...?

  • lowercase_ryan

    as a general contractor I love your honesty, thank you for the "I KNEW IT!" moment you just gave me, and loathe you for the past wrongs of you and your colleagues.

  • Bert_McGurt

    Please take solace in the fact that I'm usually at least as frustrated at them as you are!

  • Carey Adams


  • SLW

    "You cannot recreate the biological wheel"

    This makes as much sense as "your argument is invalid because potato"

  • Kala

    I snorted as well. I thank ye.

    I can't see how bigots feel that confident whipping out the flacid "marriage is for making babies" argument when there are so many infertile heterosexual couples out there.

    If by "biological wheel" they mean "have unsatisfying missionary sex while trying to watch Home Shopping Network over my grunting husband's shoulder," no, thank you.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Wow, that kinda made me horny. I must be rather desperate at the moment.

  • Maguita NYC

    I think they meant eating a Chick-Fil-A sandwich.

  • BierceAmbrose

    That's the "Caucasian Wheelbarrow." You're mixing up positions with sex toys.

  • Kala

    Now I have a fantastic image of two rather bored looking Caucasians, the male hoisting the female and...

    ...I can't even go on. I thought you were one of the good ones, dammit!

    *Runs Away Crying*

  • BierceAmbrose

    Why yes, yes I am one of the good ones. I have references.

  • Bert_McGurt
  • zeke_the_pig

    Leave Tatum out of this.

  • Mrs. Beasley

    My niece's birthday was Saturday, and she made me watch Step Up with her. The whole time I kept thinking, he looks exactly like a Mr. Potato Head. An oblong head, with weird features all squished together, and two little ears stuck right in the center on each side, sticking straight out like they do on the potato head. I told her about the Charming Potato thing, but she was not amused. Anyway, I cant look at his head anymore.

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    I would thank you not to bring potatoes, that most delicious of tubers, into this argument. You sound like a quinoa purist and a carbohydratist.

  • The Other Agent Johnson

    Ahem. The yam would like a word, sir.

  • PaddyDog

    The entire population of Ireland heartily endorses this message.

  • SLW

    Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, consider Chewbacca...

  • KatSings

    I snorted at this. Thanks for that

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    " Maybe if the One Million Moms really wanted to go to the source of the problem, they’d protest whatever hard alcohol it is that they drink that allows them to have sex with their ugly goddamn husbands."

    Sexist prick! Could it not be that perfectly normal men have to drink copious amounts of toilet wine, take dozens of boner pills cooked up in a re-purposed meth lab, duct tape a picture of Monica Bellucci to the back of their wife's head and have the dog on standby fluffer duty in order to have sex (doggy only) with some of these shrieking harpies to produce these gay babies?

  • Classic

    One the one million moms needs a new name since they are nowhere near that number and two yeah Dustin is right they suck.

    Also I thought the Playboy Club was cancelled because it sucked beyond the telling? Where is this whole lack of advertisers thing coming from?

  • Right. Marriage is between one man and one woman (which ones?)... until they get divorced and then it's between that one man and a different woman and maybe that woman and a new man. And if THAT marriage doesn't work out, all those folks can go do that again. And they can procreate in any of those incarnations and drag the kids along - or not. Heck, they can procreate without even being married! Shocking, I know.

    I don't get folks who spend time and energy freaking out about the way other people live their lives. If they don't want to watch the show, they can choose not to. It's that simple.

  • Wednesday

    “Millions of Americans strongly believe that marriage should be between one man and one woman."

    Well I guess those millions should look at this show as God's test of their faith. And if it can be rocked by something as insignificant as a Ryan Murphy comedy, obviously, it's pretty damn weak.

    "Belief." Different from "fact."

  • Morgan_LaFai

    Bah, I say to this, bah. I have never for the life of me understood what affect my family structure has on the lives of total strangers. Furthermore, unless I am sleeping with you, or possibly your daughter, what possible baring can it have on your life. Bah. Look to your own house before throwing stones at mine. And if the sanctity of marriage is really that important you "million moms" then fight Vegas, or dating shows, or ... There are so many threats to "traditional" marriage that a group of people wanting in should be welcome.

  • Maguita NYC

    As Malcolm Turnbull had so discerningly put it:

    "The threat to marriage is not the gays."

    "It is a lack of loving commitment - whether it is found in the form of neglect, indifference, cruelty or adultery, to name just a few manifestations of the loveless desert in which too many marriages come to grief.''

    "I am utterly unpersuaded by the proposition that my marriage to Lucy, or indeed any marriage, is undermined by two gay men or two lesbians setting up house down the road - whether it is called a marriage or not."

  • Xtacle Steve

    So, this is what dance moms do when they aren't living vicariously through their six year old daughters.

  • Jezzer

    "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo," indeed.

  • Tina

    Why on earth are you bringing up Tosh again, for Gods sake let it go. He's just a hack comedian who is certainly not going to single handedly make Rape jokes funny to anyone who already doesn't think they're funny.

  • zeke_the_pig

    'Funny things about those marriages between one man and one woman: They keep producing those goddamn gay babies, which is really the root of the problem.'
    I love you, Dustin.
    I'm calling these One Million Moms arseholes out right now: what a bunch of cowards you are. Stop beating aroung the bush. You really wanna make a difference and protect the sanctity of society? Next time you have a gay child, why not just kill it the moment you find out? Wouldn't that do the trick? Yeah, I think it would. Cuts right to the heart of the problem, no? Besides, America is so damn desentized to infanticide right now, maybe that'd send a message. Two birds with one stone!
    You dumb, fucking primitive, forehead slappers.

  • Maguita NYC

    Please don't forget to be more precise in the hilarious begetting of gay babies:

    Following their train of thought (!!), if straight couples have been mass-producing gay babies for centuries now, wouldn't it stand then that gay couples would be breeding straight babies?

    You would think the anti-gay mommies should at least be happy about that...

  • Xtacle Steve

    Or worse...some kind of super-gay baby. Like perhaps, it comes out of the womb with glitter, a wispy John Waters-esque mustache, and singing show tunes. Someone better alert Michelle Bachmann.

  • Maguita NYC

    Don't worry, her husband is already sooo on top of that!


  • Drake

    Actually, from the pictures I have seen, I suspect that he is on the bottom of that.

  • Maguita NYC

    I heard he rather tops:

    But I'd like to see your pictures too please.

  • BWeaves

    Yes. Exactly what I was going to say. OK, I wasn't going to go the "kill the gay baby" route, but it made me snort, in a good way.

    Dustin, I'm going to swipe your comment, if I may. Next time I'm in a conversation with a bigot espousing the merits of heteromarriage, I'm going to mention that it's all that hetero sex that's are producing all those gay babies. Besides, who was it who said that if God didn't like homosexuals, why did he make so many of them?

  • BierceAmbrose

    Hey, every now and then when the wife is out with the girls doesn't make him gay.

  • Wicked

    I guess raising your kids with intolerance, bigrotry and hatred is the normal thing to do based on what these b*tches are saying.

  • BierceAmbrose

    Well, yeah. Sadly, neither christicans nor hetero-uber-alles have a corner on that.

  • drex

    If people would just keep their sexual deviancy confined to the bedroom thean we would all be fine

  • Jezzer


    If people would quit losing sleep at night worrying about what other people are up to in their own bedrooms, then we would all be fine.

  • BierceAmbrose

    Well, I prefer my sex dirty and shameful ... just like Godtopus intended.

  • BierceAmbrose

    Hey, wait a tick ...

    Are the million meddlers actually making gay sex hotter with all the disapproval and sanction?

    How do you say "oops" in knee-jerk?

  • Maguita NYC

    Nothing can hide the odious signs of sexual deviancy: ignorance, bigotry and the Malware of all genetics, in-breeding.

  • Jennifer Schmennifer

    Yeah, the sex is hotter when people disapprove of you.

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