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The Next Paranormal Activity

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (16)



giant_catfish.jpg

Blogs are abuzz! Low budget? Indie film? Documentary style? Shocking final ten minutes? Paramount getting involved? DUDE CATFISH IS THE NEXT PARANORMAL ACTIVITY!

Except for the fact that it isn’t a horror movie. And isn’t found footage, but a mock documentary. So it’s actually nothing like Paranormal Activity except that Paramount found something cheap and thinks that they can make a lot of money. So Catfish isn’t really like Paranormal Activity so much as both of them are like dusty heirlooms on The Antique Roadshow and Paramount is like the guy with gambling debts rummaging through his grandpa’s attic (which is the film festival circuit in this extended metaphor).

In any case, Catfish was a well received entrant in the Sundance film festival this year and is now being courted by Paramount in an exotic dance of lust and greed. One might say that Paramount was reeling in Catfish … oh come on, I had to go there. It can be a blackout drinking game, searching the internet over the next few weeks for puns on “reeling” in combination with “Catfish.” And they wonder why journalism is dying?

Here’s the synopsis provided for Sundance:

Nev, a 24-year-old New York-based photographer, has no idea what he’s in for when Abby, an eight-year-old girl from rural Michigan, contacts him on MySpace, seeking permission to paint one of his photographs. When he receives her remarkable painting, Nev begins a friendship and correspondence with Abby’s family. But things really get interesting when he develops a cyber-romance with Abby’s attractive older sister, Megan, a musician and model. Prompted by some startling revelations about Megan, Nev and his buddies embark on a road trip in search of the truth.

Never ever ever write back to eight year old girls contacting you out of the blue on the Internet to talk about “art.” It’s always Chris Hansen on the other end.









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Comments

Chris Hansen? Is he an undercover cop trolling the Net for pedos? Cause that's who the 12-year-old girl turned out to be when this guy I used to know showed up at the rendezvous with a bag of candy and a box of condoms.

Posted by: , at February 3, 2010 12:28 AM

Wait. Doesn't Myspace have an age filter or something?

Posted by: Schlegel at February 3, 2010 12:34 AM

That is beyond creepy.

But the header pic made me laugh and laugh after I read the post. Nice pick, SLW.

Posted by: Jelinas at February 3, 2010 1:49 AM

Sweet Godtopus. Is it possible they could have found anything more odd and unsettling than this? A 26-year old photographer and an eight-year old girl. Wasn't that the plot of Pretty Baby?

Could be worse, I guess - could be Human Centipede, 3-D - or maybe The Night of the Living Dead Ground Squirrels.

Posted by: The Wanderer at February 3, 2010 2:19 AM

Weeeeelll, my day is starting off creepy. Thanks, SLW!

Posted by: The Wandering Parakeet at February 3, 2010 2:37 AM

MySpace? Really? Why not just say they used a telegraph, that would be just as believable in 2010.

Between this and the fucking horrible Lolita I am trying to read for the Cannonball Read I'm over the pedophilia subject matter in all things, even if just suggested in this incredibly vague plot description.

Yes, Lolita is awful. I know it's a classic and for some reason a comedy and blah blah blah. Fuck that. It's written well but I'm tired of living in Humbert's brain and I want to redecorate it with C4.

Posted by: TylerDFC at February 3, 2010 9:17 AM

Creeeeeptaaaasssstiiic.

Posted by: stardust at February 3, 2010 9:30 AM

They made a movie about Jonathan Crompton?

(That is a joke that, literally, one other person on this site might get.)

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at February 3, 2010 9:49 AM

"...he develops a cyber-romance with Abby’s attractive older sister, Megan, a musician and model."

Yeah right. That's beleivable. A musician AND a model? So she's got a gentle, poetic soul AND she's gorgeous. Those exist.

Posted by: superasente at February 3, 2010 10:58 AM

The Night of the Living Dead Ground Squirrels.

Posted by: The Wanderer at February 3, 2010 2:19 AM

When is this filming? I will be first in line!!

Posted by: dammitjanet at February 3, 2010 11:14 AM

So what you are saying is that this film doesn't have anything to do with actual catfish?

SLW, that is a mean trick you played with the header pic. I thought this was going to be a mockumentary about the quest for the world's largest catfish. But it has nothing to do with that at all.

Posted by: tamatha at February 3, 2010 3:05 PM

And I thought it would be a horror movie about catfish (them buggers are UGLY). You've fooled us all, SLW.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at February 3, 2010 6:42 PM

Catfish: Real or fake? Whaddya think? http://bit.ly/anE6RZ

Posted by: marcus at August 17, 2010 6:37 PM

Searched Google and ended up here - its good so I posted the site on my Facebook account !

Posted by: Georgina at December 11, 2010 9:11 AM

i love all peopel lssl ototwueox and my name is and how old are you reviciicae

Posted by: Buddy Wilcock at January 29, 2011 1:05 AM

What are some really good mp3 players for kids? My cousin is 5 years old and for christmas I'd like to buy her a music, she loves my nano but I think it would difficult for her to work with it. Are there make available ones for kids?

Posted by: MP3 players for kids at March 18, 2011 7:01 PM


















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