Yeah. Let that sink in, folks. Seriously. I heard it from a guy who knows this other guy who used to be married to this womyn who once had a lesbian fling with this other lady who read it on a website. So, you know, it’s pretty much a done deal. That’s right: Tom Cruise will play The Hef in a biopic directed by Brett Ratner. It’s like the perfect storm of shit — creepy A-list movie star with absolutely zero remaining box-office clout, the worst big-budget director in Hollywood, and a guy who revolutionized the soft-porn industry and who is currently notable for a coterie of girlfriends and a greasy boner hopped up on Viagra. Fucking hell: The idea of Tom Cruise and his mini-Valkyrie pole dancing with a harem of Brittany Snows is just the sort of thing that can make a guy upchuck his turkey dinner. Happy Thanksgiving, bitches.
But, it gets worse before it gets better, y’all. Indeed, having exhausted the Friday the 13th series to death with eleven films, in which Jason Voorhies is sent to hell, Manhattan, and even space, as well as a grudge match with Freddy Kreuger (confession: I drank so much before Freddy vs. Jason that I passed out 20 minutes into the film and I have no idea who won — will someone shed the light?), the powers-that-be have decided that it’s time to start all over. So, on Friday, February 13, 2009, a remake of the original will hit theaters, to be produced by Michael Bay, of course. Marcus Nispel, who directed the 2003 remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre will direct, and the story will once again return to the summer camp that began it all. The cast, naturally, includes a bevy of nobodies, the most notable among them Matt Dallas, the title character in “Kyle XY.” Also in the cast: Amanda Wyss, a.k.a., Better Off Dead’s Beth — her, I’d pay to see.
What else? Well, there’s this: Katherine “Rainbow Assassin” Heigl will star in The Ugly Truth, a romantic comedy directed by Robert Luketic (Monster-in-Law, Legally Blonde). It centers on a romantically challenged morning-show producer (Skank) who is reluctantly embroiled in a series of outrageous tests by her chauvinistic correspondent to prove his theories on relationships and help her find love. As Variety writes, “His clever ploys, however, lead to an unexpected result.” And unless that unexpected result is the death of Rainbow Assassin’s career and the cancellation of “Grey’s Anatomy,” I have absolutely no interest in seeing The Ugly Truth. My God — could that logline sound anymore generic? Is fucking Katherine Heigl seriously going to be the next Sandra Bullock? Fuck. Me. Running. And yes, I know that my borderline-obsessive hatred of Heigl is mostly unmerited, but surely most of you have your own Katherine Heigls: Celebrities who violently rub you the wrong way for inexplicable reasons, whose simple presence sends you scurrying for the remote and, lacking that, a straight razor. The way that Heigl has hijacked the strike — turned the attention onto herself, instead of the people who actually write — has had something to do with the buildup of animosity, but mostly, I just don’t like her.
Actually, I don’t think we’re doing a comment diversion this week, due to the holiday, so how about this mini-diversion: Who is your Katherine Heigl? The celebrity you hate for no reason in particular — you just do? The cut of his or her jib just doesn’t sit well with you.
Moving on: In casting news, the rumors about Seth Rogen taking the lead in Kevin Smith’s next project, Zach and Miri Make a Porno have actually come to fruition — the gospel chorus of angels in my subconscious are indeed doing a little jig and covering a Randy Newman number David E. Kelley style. As we wrote before, the movie is about best friends who decide to start an amateur porn studio to impress their classmates at their next high-school reunion. Rogen is set to play Miri, and Elizabeth Banks will play Zack. Filming begins in Pittsburgh soon.
Finally, there’s a new official trailer out for the J.J. Abrams produced Cloverfield, and I don’t care how much hype there is, the facts are these: It’s directed by Matt Reeves, who is heretofore most notable for writing “Felicity,” (great show, but still), The Pallbearer, and Under Seige 2; there is absolutely no name talent attached to the project; and it’s opening during a month known as a studio dumping grounds. There’s a reason this project is shrouded in secrecy: It’s because it’s gonna blow. Mark my words — if Cloverfield gets higher than 50 percent on the tomatometer, I solemnly swear never to mention Crash on this site again.
I'm about 87% sure that none of this trade round-up is true and you have, in fact, made it all up specifically to fuck with me. If you're lying about Zach and Miri Make a Porno there will be hell to pay, I just don't think I could take it.
The Universe hates me at the moment, this isn't unfounded paranoia.
I am one of the few who actually finds Heigl, as an actress not as her utterly fucking detestable character on Grey's, which I still cannot stop watching despite my best efforts, fairly magnetic. I'm not bothered by the venom spitting about her though. After all: I am the girl who hates Ricky Gervais.
That being said, he isn't my personal Skank Cancer, oh no. That particular honourary goes to Jimmy motherfucking Carr the least funny, most obnoxious and destestable man to have ever walked God's green Earth. My poor longsuffering housemate G came home one day having learnt one of Carr's jokes - he was met with bile and furious ranting from myself and his girlfriend that continued long after he had retreated to the relative safety of their room.
Fucking Jimmy Carr.
Posted by: Alex the Odd at November 20, 2007 8:44 AM
Wow. I'm surprised you even mentioned Under Seige 2 without going on another Skank Cancer rant. Is that a telltale sign of personal growth? She is a bitch, but I'd still watch anything with even the slightest possibility of her getting nekkid. Call it a weakness.
Posted by: Dapper1 at November 20, 2007 8:58 AM
I want to punch Renee Zellweger in her scrunched up face. I cannot stand her acting, her voice or her face.
Posted by: Marianne at November 20, 2007 9:01 AM
Nope, don't have one. All of my celeb-based hatreds are fully researched and well documented, in order for the optimal hate to be expressed. The closest I can come up with would probably be Nick Cannon, but since he has been proven to be a jerk, have a horrible sense of 'humor', and even Dave Chappelle hated him, I feel my antagonism is fully justified. Plus, Drumline was just sad.
ATO, why do I have the sneaking feeling that you are really hot when you are cursing the existence of comedians you hate? I mean, I never thought I would be turned on by text-based indignation, but there you have it.
Posted by: Vermillion at November 20, 2007 9:04 AM
Never fear, Alex, the Zach and Miri news is no bullshit, for I heard it straight from Kevin's mouth in a radio interview last week. It's O-fficial.
My Skank Cancer is (motherfucking) Ty Pennington. He can take his stupid spiked hair, his too-small jackets and his Bayer aspirin, throw them in his stupid car while he's driving drunk and accelerate off a cliff. Bonus points if he lands on one of his extremely made-over houses.
Posted by: Sean at November 20, 2007 9:04 AM
I'm willing to take that Cloverfield bet. I'm optimistic for no reason whatsoever.
Also, I've never actually seen Dane Cook, not in one movie, not one joke, not at all, but the amount of loathing on this site has made me recoil from his face when I see his DVD on the rack.
Congratulations Pavlov... I mean Pajiba.
Posted by: twig at November 20, 2007 9:04 AM
I hate Martin Lawrence. I really do. I feel like he thinks he's so fucking funny. And I find him so unfunny that I get kind of uncomfortable when I see him in anything. It just makes me want to kick him in the face.
Posted by: b at November 20, 2007 9:10 AM
Jennifer Love Hewitt makes my blood boil... I think its cause I've never seen her give an interview without comparing herself to Audrey Hepburn
Posted by: carrie at November 20, 2007 9:11 AM
My "celeb I hate, just becous" is Tea Leon, I just hate here so, I also Detest Martin Lawrence, he is not funny as a stand-up and even less funny as an actor, I used to think Renee Zellweger was ok but her face and voice have started to bug the shit out of me. I also Don´t like other stars but these take the cake.
Posted by: 13thDuke at November 20, 2007 9:22 AM
Can't pick just one skank cancer...my list includes Angelina Jolie (just shut up and eat a cheeseburger already), Sandra Bullock (not pretty, can't act, don't get it), Renee Zellweger (ditto), Cameron Diaz (quadruple ditto. Nice body+absolutely nothing else should not equal acting career) along with Tom Cruise and John T.Revolta for obvious reasons.
Posted by: patti at November 20, 2007 9:26 AM
I'll donate my dollar to get on the Renee Zellweger hate bus. I cannot stand to look at her face.
I also feel unbelievable hatred for Michelle Rodriguez. I was hoping she would drown in Hawaii. Or eaten by a shark. I'm not picky.
Posted by: Agent Scully at November 20, 2007 9:28 AM
My "Skank Cancer" award goes to Jessica Simpson. She is heinous. However, honorable mention goes to Mr. Dane Cook, who not only reminds me of an ex-boyfriend but is a lingering reminder that, at one point, he was actually kind of funny...what happened??
Posted by: lux at November 20, 2007 9:31 AM
Tom Cruise as Hugh Hefner.
Soooooooooo, this is a tax write-off for the studio then.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 20, 2007 9:32 AM
For me on the mens side will be Adam Sandler, he is just not funny, i rather put my face on a public toilet that to watch him in anything, same goes fot Tom Cruice, he just seems crazy.
On the Women side will be Julia Stiles, dont know why i just hate her and Cloe Sevigny same reason.
Posted by: NDR at November 20, 2007 9:39 AM
I spit feathers at the sight of this woman from "My Name Is Earl", you know, the one who plays his former wife. I just can't abide... It's something visceral (aha! How I longed to use this word!). She is (mostly) the reason that I cannot watch this show. She strongly reminds me of someone I have the misfortune to know and see almost every day and let me tell you - I don't need to be reminded of this person, I don't, I don't. I can't. I won't.
Unoriginally enought, I also cringe at Tom Cruise. Man, what a WANKER!!!
Posted by: Toothed Varmint at November 20, 2007 9:42 AM
I can't stand Amanda Bynes; she freaks me right out. I don't know if her eyes are too close together or too far apart, but just looking at her makes me gag a little.
Of course, I'm convinced that Peyton Manning is a serial killer, because there's just something about his face. I am much mocked for this opinion, but as I keep reminding my family, someday we'll be saying to ourselves, "He was such a nice, funny man when he told us that it was ok to be fat and buy new shirts. Who would have thought it could happen??" I would, that's who!!
Posted by: pinkcheese at November 20, 2007 9:44 AM
For me it is Jake Gylenhall. I am told that I am threatened by his ambiguous sexuality that my girlfriend finds oh so appealing, but I strongly disagree. Two words: Bubble Boy.
I rest my case.
Posted by: bwh at November 20, 2007 9:54 AM
I detest Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Anniston. So the Breakup was not on my must see list.
Posted by: anikitty at November 20, 2007 10:10 AM
Jerry Lewis has always given me the heebie-jeebies, even before he was bloated and nasty. He just makes my skin crawl.
Posted by: lateformyfuneral at November 20, 2007 10:12 AM
If I remember correctly, at the end of Freddy vs. Jason the no-name kids knocked both Jason and a decapitated Freddy into Crystal Lake. After everything was all safe and happy Jason was seen walking out of the water with Freddy's head and Freddy winked. So, in the words of the producers (I imagine), the audience won.
Also, my Skank Cancer is Madonna.
Posted by: The Stew at November 20, 2007 10:15 AM
There are so many celebrities that rub me the wrong way and when I actually started listing them in my head, I realize I can't stand them because the hype surrounding them doesn't match their talent.
The one that irks me the most lately is Nicole Kidman. I never thought she was that good and it bothers me when she receives so many undeserving accolades. Her expressionless face, from the plastic surgeries, just bothers me. Seeing the trailer for Margot at the Wedding bothered me even more with her messed up hair yet still having a perfectly botoxed face.
Posted by: Lex at November 20, 2007 10:15 AM
Alex the Odd It is on Kevin Smith's myspace page as well. I believt the caption he used was something along the lines of"Holy Shit! How did this happen?"
Just checked - it is also in Kev's lates blog post at silentbobspeaks (a rather long post actually - but a fun read). Dustin - amybe add it today's Pajiba Love?
Just IMDB'ed the movie - Adam's character is Zack, Seth is Miri - which is funny since I figured it would be the reverse (I know several girls named Miri (nickname for Miriam I think) but no guys.
Posted by: Brian at November 20, 2007 10:18 AM
Ew, Angelina Jolie. Though I think there are reasons for it. I HATE that she believes herself to be saintly, I hate that she wants "matching" sets of children, I hate that she favors her adopted kids over her own kid, and I HATE HATE HATE that she made some freaking comment about how embarassing it was to see her character on Beowulf half-nekked. I mean, COME ON lady, you are no stranger to nudity, you used to carry a VIAL of your lover's BLOOD around your neck and talk about it, and you basically MADE OUT WITH YOUR BROTHER.
Blech!
Also, for no reason, other than general annoyance with her appearance, Claire Forlani. Yuk. I think it's the constantly pursed lips. Also find Ryan Phillippe super annoying - he just seems prickish. It ruins the hottness that he'd otherwise possess.
I actually think Skank Cancer is adorable.
Posted by: Kristin at November 20, 2007 10:23 AM
There was a time when I would have submitted Pierce Brosnan to a list like this, but The Matador totally changed my perception of him.
Now it's gotta be David Caruso. Good Lord, "Horatio..." Painful.
Posted by: Mattfactor at November 20, 2007 10:25 AM
After reading Mr. Smith's blog I think it is safe to say IMDB got the names switched
Posted by: Brian at November 20, 2007 10:26 AM
my katherine heigle William Hurt, Christopher plumber, amanda plumber-- i wil NOT see ANY movies with these ppl in it-- and if have seen such movies (Inside man, History of violence) its been because the presence of said Katherine Heigles, was not advertised / made public prior to my attendance at the theater
also, i hate katherine heigel-- have not watched knocked up yet, for that.very.reason
sean penn is the pinnicle of pretentiousness-- yet he has acting talent, so i forgive
Posted by: sara at November 20, 2007 10:27 AM
Hugh Grant...for the floppy hair, for playing the same character in every movie, for all the mumbling, and the sheer english snobbery he projects. Just can't stand him.
Posted by: Jay at November 20, 2007 10:29 AM
"Beth. My favorite name."
Posted by: Forrest at November 20, 2007 10:36 AM
I second the Jimmy Carr comment. Racist fuck. In a palate-cleansing move may I give to you a line from Frankie Boyle, the funniest British stand-up currently. On the Spice Girls reunion - "The only time I want to see Geri Halliwell draped in the Union Jack is if she gets killed in battle...."
Posted by: nevin at November 20, 2007 10:36 AM
OK - I am right there with everyone on the Tom Cruise hateboat. Yeah. OK. That's easy.
Another good one is freaking David "The Angry, Vindictive Leprechaun" Caruso.
A close second is Rachel Ray, who may just be a weirdly removed tumor off Oprah's ass - so I'm gonna say Rachel Oprah Ray.
But - my "skank cancer" has got to be that whiny, big-haired, loud-mouthed nanny lady from that '90s sitcom nanny show whatever. IMDB tells me her name is Fran Drescher. Oh gosh - it's painful to remember.
Posted by: GinKirk at November 20, 2007 10:39 AM
It's Jason Voorhees, not Vorhies. Not like it matters. They might as well spell it wrong anyway, because, as much as I guiltily enjoyed the Texas Chainsaw remake... no good can come of this.
And my inexplicable hate goes, without reservation or rationality, to Charlize Theron. I cannot fucking STAND her and every time I see her smug, tearful face I want to put my fist through a wall. Despite the fact that she's originally from my home country, I hate her. With the fire of a thousand hells.
All Katherine Heigl did was turn up on one the picket lines to show her support. Just like a hundred other actors.
Her terrible sin was to be the photogenic one that the magazine editors think will sell their stories better.
Get over it and move on.
For fucks sake, you'd think the woman had run over your cat and then eaten the remains of it in front of your family.
Posted by: Simon B at November 20, 2007 10:42 AM
"Also in the cast: Amanda Wyss, a.k.a., Better Off Dead's Beth -- her, I'd pay to see."
And Nightmare on Elm Street's Tina!
She is cool. Did a particularly cool vampire thing in "To Die For" - aka "Dracula: The Love Story".
Posted by: Loob at November 20, 2007 10:50 AM
Oh! I love this mini-diversion.
I have an absurd hatred for Julia Roberts. Seriously, what the fuck made her the "queen" of shitty-ass rom-coms? Her giant mouth, her laugh, her hair! Fucking hell, I really hate her!
Also, I have hate for people that use the abbreviation "ppl" and don't capitalize anything-but that, I believe, is completely justified.
Posted by: tncunnin at November 20, 2007 10:50 AM
There are two recipients of the Cancerous Skankdom title in my world: Julia Roberts and Sandra Bullock. I tell people the only reason to watch "Crash" is because you get to see Sandra Bullock fall down stairs. And I have a recurring fantasy about Julia Roberts...you know that endlessly-replayed scene from "Pretty Woman" where the jewelry box snaps shut and startles her? I keep hoping that one day, it will catch her hand and mangle it beyond recognition.
Posted by: Wednesday at November 20, 2007 10:55 AM
I honestly can't think of a celebrity that I truly hate, but I am getting really tired of Angelina Jolie. Back when I was in the Army in the mid-nineties, my buddies and I only had to say "the Hackers girl" and everyone immediately knew who you were talking about, because we all had the hots for her. But now that she's the super-glamorous queen of Hollywood I couldn't care less. I can't remember the last time I actually wanted to see a movie she was in.
Also, Julia Roberts. I don't hate her, but her fame and popular adoration are completely out of proportion with her talent.
Posted by: Todd at November 20, 2007 10:55 AM
Lane, I've heard some things, and I was wondering . . . would it be okay if I . . . severed Beth's head and worshipped it as my poor dead Mommy??!!??
It centers on a romantically challenged morning-show producer (Skank) who is reluctantly embroiled in a series of outrageous tests by her chauvinistic correspondent to prove his theories on relationships and help her find love.
Um, How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days, anyone? I'm so ashamed to be able to make that pull. And wasn't there yet another similar film with Hugh Jackman and Ashley Judd where he moves in with her and *gasp* they fall in love? Hasn't this concept sucked Cartman's balls in every stoopid incarnation so far?
Ben Stiller is my Skank Cancer. It's not that he's no longer amusing (though he's not); I'm just so sick of his goddamn face.
And not to worry, Dustin, if Cloverfield does well, I will continue to bash Crash and Paul Haggis, both regularly and gratuitously. I've got your back man!
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at November 20, 2007 10:57 AM
I have a Heigl, all right, and it's very irrational.
Neil Patrick Harris. When I first moved to NYC, out of nowhere he was landing every dream role in every theatrical production I ever wanted to play in. And I saw him in most. And I didn't like him in most of them. He just seemed wrong for the parts, but just kept getting cast.
It's not like I was auditioning for these shows and losing the part. It's not like he ran over my dog with a tractor trailer. It's not like (as with my perfectly rational hate of Euan Morton) he threw a lit cigarette at me or blew smoke in my face like an asshole.
No. I just don't like him in all the theater roles he gets. That's enough to be my Heigl.
Posted by: Robert at November 20, 2007 10:58 AM
My skank cancer is the food network's Bobby Flay. Can't explain, the guy just infuriates me.
Posted by: Nate at November 20, 2007 11:04 AM
Hmmmm, Amanda Wyss...I wonder if Lane would mind if I dated Beth...
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 20, 2007 11:06 AM
wow, once you get started...
Tom Cruise
Tyler Perry, Nick Cannon, Martin Lawrence
Jenna Elfman
every and all peoples on Greys (even if your a grip, go fuck yourself)
Cammeron Diaz,
Ashton Kutcher (or all of that 70s show)
Oprah,
Claire Danes,
Gwenyth Paltrow (please, please stfu now and forever raise your kids w/ that crybaby husband of yours)!!!!
Gwen Stefanni,
Madonna,
Fergie,
Jessica/Ashley Simpson,
Nic Cage,
Jennifer Connely (wow, what a stunning lack of talent)
Will Smith, Wilson brothers,
I think I am out of space but could go on...
Posted by: 2manykids at November 20, 2007 11:07 AM
carlos mencia. Does he count? He's not an actor, but when I see his show starting...omygod...have to change it to ANYTHING else...right away
Posted by: amanda at November 20, 2007 11:08 AM
Oh yesssss, Gwen Stefani. She must die.
Posted by: Agent Scully at November 20, 2007 11:15 AM
Let me add my seething rage here:
Teri Hatcher: you're done grandma, go home.
Sharon Stone: SHUT THE FUCK UP
Lauren Ambrose: Bitch please, attitude is NOT acting.
Shia LeDouche: simmer down wigga.
Nic Coppola: talkingreallyreallyfast and T H E N p a u s i n g... makesyouareallyannnoyingprson.
Jamie Foxx niiiiga puhhhleeeeze
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 20, 2007 11:18 AM
Have to agree on David Caruso and Renee (chomp on a dill pickle with the sun in her eyes)Zellweger.
But the one who saddens me is Eddie Murphy. For awhile I thought he was brilliant and talented.
Now he justs irks me to no end.
However, my strongest dislike is for Jennifer Jason-Leigh and I have no idea why. I just cannot watch anything with her in it. Can't justify it.
Posted by: DJO at November 20, 2007 11:19 AM
Oh, this is gonna feel so good. My visceral hatred goes out to Vince Vaughn and Eva Longoria. Not sure why as I've never seen either of them actually "acting" (no...wait...I think maybe I watched part of Swingers once when I was really drunk) but just seeing their faces anywhere makes me want to KILL KILL KILL.
Posted by: elyssadc at November 20, 2007 11:22 AM
I third (I think it's third) the hatred for Martin Lawrence. Unfunny. As far as I'm concerned, the best thing he's ever done is the Shanaynay (however it's supposed to be spelled) character on that cruddy show of his. So that's how low the bar is in his career. He's just not funny, not even a little. I also have a little problem with Rob Schneider, mostly because I don't understand why Hollywood keeps putting him in movies. He's not particularly funny, either.
As for females, it's usually whatever 20-something "ingenue" Hollywood is trying to cram down our throats at any given time. I know how the business works, I just resent being expected to lavish attention on some chick who's only notable achievement is that she plays the love interest in an action movie to prove the hero of the movie isn't a homo.
RE Cruise as Hefner: eh, maybe Cruise is just smarmy enough to be able to do a decent job, not that the world needs a movie about Hefner. I wouldn't have believed Woody Harrelson could play Larry Flynt convincingly, but he did.
Posted by: LL at November 20, 2007 11:25 AM
No, just no. I can't see Tom Cruise playing Hef. He will have to touch boobies and stuff. Anyone is a better choice to play Hef.
My choice for this mini-diversion is Bono. Yes, Bono. Oh sure, he does good things for the world and the earth, but dammit man, I just want to listen to "Bloody Sunday" without getting a damned sermon in the process. I do not want to donate to Greenpeace or save the whales or any other damned fund just because you tell me to. Just shut it Bono.
Posted by: Melody at November 20, 2007 11:26 AM
have fostered a long term dislike of tom cruise, nicole kidman, and renee zellweger in every single movie that i've seen them in. i doubt that cruise is as botoxed up as kidman and zellweger, but all three of them seem incapable of any type of facial expression.
Posted by: kat at November 20, 2007 11:26 AM
*cue in generic pseudo-dramatic music*
*as I slowly put on sunglasses*
Daaavid Caruso... is hammier than a 10 pound can of DAK.....
*cue The Who*
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 20, 2007 11:31 AM
Nate - you are TOTALLY justified in your hate of Bobby Flay. Have you seen the Iron Chef (the original, not the lame-ass American version) in which he jumps up on his cutting board, thereby horrifying the Japanese audience? Culturally -insenstive, whiny-ass Bastard.
Uma Thurman gives me the willies. I don't know why. I like many of her movies, Beautiful Girls in particular. But I just don't get why she's supposed to be so damn pretty.
Posted by: idgiepug at November 20, 2007 11:32 AM
This is totally irrational, but...Dame Judi Dench. Oh, how I hate her. It's really quite close to the fire of a thousand suns, how much I hate her. I think it had to do with a BBC version of MacBeth she did that I was forced to watch in high school.
Of course, I also loathe Tom Cruise, Dane Cook, Jessica Simpson, Russell Crowe, and Gwyneth Paltrow, and will not watch any movie they're in.
And Nate...YES on Bobby Flay. Him and his stupid sauces.
Posted by: Siege at November 20, 2007 11:32 AM
sorry, I was not going to add on but I MUST
Kanye West (stfu, everyone has lost or will lose a prarent assrod!) you are not Jesus Christ! you are not even Al Green!)
Posted by: 2manykids at November 20, 2007 11:33 AM
I can't just pick one skank cancer. In fact I can't just pick 5.
But I'll start with Sean Penn, whom someone called a 'good actor'. No. The man is overripe. /I am Sam/, people?
John Stamos
Jerry O'Connell (to the nth degree and then some)
Kim Basinger (she has a dead, dead face. It never /moves/. One expression. It's like if she twitches a muscle her mask will crack and the femme Skeletor beneath will be revealed)
Toby McGuire (eeewwwww)
Calista Flockhart (I think Skank Cancer actually /fits/ her.)
More in the spirit of the thread, for actors who aren't bad people but I just inexplicably dislike--
Tom Hanks and Sandra Bullock.
Why limit it to actors?
Jerry Bruckheimer puts a stench on anything he produces. In fact, I think he deserves all the disgust and derision most of you heap on Paul Haggis.
Posted by: amea_gari at November 20, 2007 11:33 AM
Oh, and the entire cast of Friends.
Posted by: amea_gari at November 20, 2007 11:35 AM
Kinda obvious, but I can't stand Lindsay Lohan!! But I hated her WAY before it was cool to hate her. I hated her when she was a fuck-ugly little kid on that shitty Parent Trap remake. I just think she's fugly, always have. Didn't ever have a particular reason for hating her (until recently, I mean) but I always did. I'm not a fan of little red-headed kids anyway. They creep me out... like in that South Park episode where they talk about the "Ginger Kids." Bleh!!!!
My male celebrity is Leonardo DiCrapio. (Yes, I am aware I spelled it wrong; I pronounce it that way, as well.) I've never been able to stand him, even when he was a fugly little kid on Growing Pains. I think he's a shit actor. I laughed my ass off when he died in Titanic. I was particulary bitter at having been forced to go to the theater to see it, so by god I laughed at every inappropriate moment. And I got a lot of dirty looks from tear-stained eyes... Good times! He does get miniscule props for being environmentally friendly, though. But I wish he would die and rot into fertilizer in a crop field. Now THAT, my friends, is environmentally friendly!
Ahhhhh.... the sweet release of purging my venom....
Posted by: Mistress Violet at November 20, 2007 11:39 AM
The usual: Longoria, Hatcher, Sienna Miller, Fergie. And also: Shonda Rhimes. The woman didn't re-invent the nighttime soap and I cannot stand the creepy, obsessive reverence that she has for her characters.
Posted by: AC at November 20, 2007 11:48 AM
Oh...people we hate for no good reason. God...where's my list, I usually keep it near me. Alright, I'll just have to wing it. Let's see:
Renee Zellweger, Kirsten Dunst, Maggie Gyllenhal, Jack Gyllenhal, Reese Witherspoon, Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore, Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Adam Sandler, Ben Stiller, Nicolas Cage, the married couple on King of Queens, entire cast of "Everybody loves Raymond", Jerry Seinfeld, Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, etc.
Oh you know what...I'll just stop there and take a break. This list is pretty long and I'm sure we all have something better to do than delve into my irrational hatred of most of Hollywood.
Posted by: joker at November 20, 2007 11:50 AM
You're not wrong Melody, Bono and Bob Geldof need to commence with the fucking off now.
I can't listen to either of them speak without seething.
Posted by: Alex the Odd at November 20, 2007 11:52 AM
I'm not sure if this counts because technically she's not an "actress" but Nancy Grace drives me up the fucking wall. Oh how I loathe that woman. Her stupid fucking accent, her stupid fucking need to make everyone on her show feel inadequate and/or guilty and her inability to even listen to another person without butting in with her own thoughts and comments makes me want to slit my own throat. Just seeing her name on the scrolling channel thingy causes me to scream obscenities and throw the penalty flag* at the television.
*a small blue towel that I chuck at the tv whenever something on the screen irritates me.
Posted by: Elizabeth at November 20, 2007 11:57 AM
I have to say I don't care about actors enought to muster up the emotions for a violent hatred, but I'll add Nicole Kidman. Whatever character she plays, I just never like her. I know almost nothing about her, so this can't be based on anything rational.
Ironically I DO like her in 'The Others' because she is supposed to be unlikable, so that fits perfectly.
P.S. Lucky you made this a mini diversion, because I would have jumped in with that anyway
Posted by: ChrisD at November 20, 2007 12:01 PM
P.P.S. Is that amateur porno film based on another film? I've seen trailers for something similar here in Germany (I think they were SO amateur that the porn star refused to get naked).
Posted by: ChrisD at November 20, 2007 12:04 PM
You know who I would pay to punch in the face!? Paris F**king Hilton, or any other skank who has had a sex taped "leaked". If you are going to make a sex tape to become popular with the general public at lease do it right. We all know that you did it for publicity, hire a director and camera crew and make a full on porn. It would sell well and you would make a TON more money. Let's just face the facts, you are a whore. But I guess if you did that you couldn't hide behind the whole "accident" angle could you?
Posted by: shane at November 20, 2007 12:05 PM
Many kudos to those who brought up Mr. Bobby "I can't believe people let this guy touch their food" Flay, and let me just add Sandra "I get everything from a fucking can" Lee.
This bitch actually uses store bought, PRE-CUT!!! onions.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 20, 2007 12:06 PM
My skank cancer is Emmy Rossum. I have absolutely no idea why that when I see her pale glassy eyed face I want to punch a small animal...it just happens.
Posted by: Julie at November 20, 2007 12:07 PM
Scarlett Johansson. I refuse to check if I doubled the correct consonants. She is NOT a good actress. She has NO chemistry with her co-stars. Big boobs alone should not equate with sex appeal. She has a face like a salamander.
Posted by: kx2 at November 20, 2007 12:08 PM
BONO can chew my noodle.
Posted by: Mohaski at November 20, 2007 12:08 PM
Eva Longoria needs to shut the fuck up. Goddamn Tyra Banks. Enough already......that show is just a big wank -- BOTH of her shows for that matter. No one cares, Tyra.
Posted by: Finn at November 20, 2007 12:09 PM
Wow, reading some of these comments, I now realize you people are nucking futz. I mean, I know I am not the poster boy for sanity, but having this sort of venom stored up inside you all cannot be healthy.
What have you wrought, Dustin?
WHAT HAVE YOU WROUGHT?!??!!?!!!
Posted by: Vermillion at November 20, 2007 12:12 PM
And while we are on the subject, let me just say, you wouldn't have to actually pay me to "take out" that douchebag that's doing Morning Joe on MSNBC, no, not Joe, the OTHER dude.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 20, 2007 12:18 PM
I tend to counteract the adverse effects of storing up bile and hatred by being very, very angry most of the time. Having an explosive temper allows for regular venting of the toxic chemicals boiling within my system.
Violent fits of rage are a sign of good mental health, Vermillion. Never forget that.
Posted by: Alex the Odd at November 20, 2007 12:20 PM
Look on the bright side, Vermillion. At least people are releasing this venom, not just storing it up in a white-hot ball in their brains until they explode.
Like that time daddy hit the referee with the whiskey bottle. Remember? Yeah.
And Barbado - slammin' on Caruso? That shit's just too easy, man. So... easy... it's murder!
hey, alot of people have to go deal with their families tomorrow and thursday. I say go on and vent that bile now, and spare your crazy families- even if they deserve it!
I arrived late to the hate party, so everyone on my list has been covered, with the possible exceptions of John Mayer, Cheryl Crow, and Dave Matthews.
Oh yeah, the three worst words in the English language: Poetry by Jewel
Posted by: summerteeth at November 20, 2007 12:27 PM
HAhahahahahahahaha
Oh, and before I forget, dropping a one ton safe on Project Runway Nina Garcia's head has been a nightly fantasy of mine for quite some time.
In fact I distinctly remember telling myself: "someday I'm gonna have to kill this woman," the first time I heard her affected accent AND her "I'm always smelling shit" permanent facial expression.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 20, 2007 12:28 PM
My Skank Cancer is Meredith Grey. Ellen Pompeo I can take or leave, although I found her to be quite beautiful before I ever watched the show, but now associate her appearance with her character's personality, so she's not so pretty anymore.
Heigl's character used to be my favourite on Grey's, until she got as annoying as the rest of them (except Meredith; she's on a whole other level) and I gave up watching. That was a fun half-season of telly,though....
Posted by: MO at November 20, 2007 12:31 PM
Cancer = Jared. Motherfucking. Leto. Eat shit Jared. I don't want some 37 year old guy screaming into a microphone about how hard highschool is going to be today because he accidentally dropped his looseleaf notebook in a puddle on his walk to the bus-stop and Courtney hearts Jared got washed off the cover. Fuck you. I hope an angry construction worked decides to fuck you in the back of the head with the unfriendly end of his spaded shovel.
Rachel Ray - Get fucked! ::In her most annoying squeally voice:: "TodayonRache! Ishowyouhowtomakecerealandtherightwaytoeatit!Coffee!Bigteeth!Yummo!I'mRach!" Effing twat!
And fuck you Michael bay. Part of the appeal of the original Ft13th was the manner in which it was shot, and the suspense built around the scenery. You have proven time and again that you cannot touch ANYTHING without making it a visual spectacle. You will undoubtedly fuck this up like you did Texas Chainsaw.
I bet Michael has no idea the controversy that surrounded the original Texas. Banned in many markets. Touted as too bloody, yet there wasn't a drop of blood in the entire goddamn movie. It was a less is more type of film, letting the setting and situation create the horror. If I knew less about you Michael...you would be skank cancer too...instead you're just industry cancer. Man...now I'm angry. Time to put in my mouthpiece and visit my 'therapist'.
Posted by: PissBoy at November 20, 2007 12:32 PM
Hahaha, I'm in line with Vermillion: all my celebrity hatred is completely defensible. The closest thing to irrational hatred I have is aimed right at scene queen Audrey Kitching...but all you really have to do is glance at her, and I think you'll find you agree.
God save us from Buzznet.
Posted by: Telis at November 20, 2007 12:35 PM
I loathe Drew Barrymore - the sound of her voice, the stroke-victim facial mannerisms, the calculated flower-child image, and the trendy dating habits. Just awful. And fat.
Posted by: KiwiBrownn at November 20, 2007 12:36 PM
Jerry Motherfucking Seinfeld.
Posted by: Xan at November 20, 2007 12:45 PM
Man, some of you are ate up something fierce. Good times. I can't think of anyone I have that kind of hatred for. Maybe the producer Jon Peters and Brett Ratner is a talentless prick. But my wife has a great one. She cannot STAND anything with Michael J. Fox. She doesn't have a problem with him as a person, but hates every TV show or movie he's in. It's actually pretty amusing because even she isn't sure why she feels this way.
Posted by: Rob at November 20, 2007 12:49 PM
My unwarranted celebrity hate is Beyonce Knowles. I'm sure she's nice and smiley, but she's so damn overrated and I can't stand how much hype surrounds her. I couldn't stand her in Destiny's Child and I can't stand her even more solo. Sorry.
Posted by: Rachel at November 20, 2007 12:55 PM
Jeez, I already posted that there was nobody I particularly hated, and Melody goes and reminds me of Bono. I can tolerate U2 (though I never particularly enjoyed them) but Bono just takes himself way too seriously. (And although I could barely even pick him out of a lineup, that Chris Angel guy looks like the same type.)
Also, Tyra Banks COMPLETELY SUCKS. My cousin went to a taping of her show, and the audience was segregated based on looks. All the pretty young things were placed where the cameras could see them, and the old/overweight people were stuck in the back. This from the woman trying to promote healthy body images and self-esteem and whatever. Screw you, Tyra.
Posted by: Todd at November 20, 2007 1:01 PM
Kevin "I'm not gay" Spacey. I can no longer go
back and watch my "Usual Suspects" or "American
Beauty" DVDs because of my loathing for him. And
that's a shame.
Oh, and of course, Tom Cruise give me the willies
just by existing.
Posted by: Drake at November 20, 2007 1:02 PM
Were I to attempt to compose a full list, I'd probably be here for hours. The textual flogging of overrated celebrities is possibly one of my favourite aspects of this site. ILU PAJIBA.
That said! My ultimate hate?
Kal Penn. OH BY THE GODS HOW I LOATHE THAT LITTLE WHELP. That fuck has all but ruined House this season, merely by having his fucking name in the credits. If not for the sadistic glee of fandom!flamewars, and capslocking it to death, even my mad love for Laurie couldn't keep me watching the show. There is no rational reason for my detesting him so passionately, and yet, every damned time I see his face, or name, or hear his voice, I'm possessed of a boundless need to slap him until he cries. Grr.
Also echoing the Jimmy Carr hate.
Posted by: the hel at November 20, 2007 1:02 PM
err... pardon my ignorance, but who the hell is Jimmy Carr? I figure someone who garners so much vitriol... I should at least know who he is.
I actually really liked Jason X. It amused the hell out of me. I haven't seen any of the movies between 1 & 10, though.
Skank Cancer = Bob Costas. Hate him with the white hot light of a thousand suns.
Posted by: Smello at November 20, 2007 1:06 PM
I'm going to have to say my 'Skank Cancer' is Angelina Jolie. There's lots of celebs I can't stand in movies, but my hate tends to be at least somewhat justifiable. Like they can't act or they do completely crazy shit in the media (Tom Cruise for example, is guilty of both.)
I don't think Angelina Jolie is an extraordinarily bad actress, and although she's in the media a lot it's generally for a good cause. At least she's genuinely trying to do something good with her fame.
And all that is to say I hate her with a completely unreasonable and unjustifiable passion. I keep hoping that she's going to fall flat on her face over something.
Posted by: Tiki at November 20, 2007 1:14 PM
Keira Knightley makes me want to stab everyone in the world. The fact that anyone can find that woman attractive destroys my faith in humanity.
I swear, I'm completely stable, there's just something about her that infuriates me, and the fact that other people seem so into her makes me even more angry. I just don't get it!
Posted by: Jenna at November 20, 2007 1:22 PM
***Frankie Boyle, the funniest British stand-up currently***
I gladly second that. I remember almost choking on my own laughter when I heard that: "I would have loved to have a gay dad. Do you remember at school, there were always kids saying "My dad's bigger than your dad, my dad will batter your dad!" "So what? My dad will shag your dad. And your dad will enjoy it."
***my strongest dislike is for Jennifer Jason-Leigh and I have no idea why. I just cannot watch anything with her in it***
Heh, I am a complete opposite. I would crawl throug a barrel of brocken glass on my tongue just to kiss her footstep. I am almost not kidding.
Adding to the list - this twat from "The Friday Night Project". Actually, strike that. I mean both twats from "The Friday Night Project" - the bearded yokel-accented one and the camp speccy one. Man, do they get on my tits. Jimmy Carr is a rectum too, no question.
Posted by: Toothed Varmint at November 20, 2007 1:24 PM
I'll agree with all of the above and add the trio of Pamela Anderson, Tommy Lee and Kid Rock. Actually, I could just ignore Pam and Tommy, but Kid Rock is just sleezy, greasy looking.
Posted by: rlr260 at November 20, 2007 1:28 PM
TK: I only know Carr from Comedy Central's "Distraction", and he was okay by me. Although the torture that is part and parcel of the show may have clouded my judgment.
Tyra Banks Haters: You should know that Tyra only uses her shows to sexually molest women. Just take a look at her show topics and guests and you will see the pattern. She is like the creepy guy in the playground with no kid, and her shows are the lost puppies she uses to get her targets to the back of her van.
Rachel: Beyonce only looks like that be casue she has NO SOUL. Literally. It is just like "Reaper", only her parents sold it for fame and wealth and no one seems to care.
See? All of my celebrity hatred is wel-founded.
Posted by: Vermillion at November 20, 2007 1:28 PM
Wow, I've been waiting for a diversion like this. There are so many I can't stand, but a few
Cameron Diaz
Katherine Heigl
Paris Hilton/Kim Kardashian
Does this extend to TV characters? If so...
Grace Fucking Adler. From Will & Grace. I can't stand her! Technically, I do have reasons, but there's too many to name. Basically, she annoyed the fucking shit out of me.
And also, Katie Holmes. I have NEVER liked this girl; from the moment her half-smirking, dumb ass climbed in a window on Dawson's Creek. Something about her just irritated me, like a rash. And now that she's Mrs. Tom Cruise (someone I used to adore before he went completely insane) she pisses me off even more.
And never fear, Vermillion; this venting is good for us. It's almost therapeutic.
Posted by: Brie at November 20, 2007 1:34 PM
***pardon my ignorance, but who the hell is Jimmy Carr?***
British "comedian" and a full-on meedja ho, who inexplicably monopolises Channel 4 schedule after 9 PM ALMOST EVERY MOTHERFUCKING NIGHT and who constantly sucks corporate cock, presenting awards to outstanding salespersons of the year and, I shouldn't wonder, opening supermarkets. And a mighty ugly shitbag he is too with his puffed-up sharp-nosed face and evil little squinty eyes that look like dollops of ratshit.
Sorry, I became incoherent back there. I just dislike him somewhat.
Posted by: Toothed Varmint at November 20, 2007 1:53 PM
Claire Danes - homewrecker. I'm on Team Mary-Louise, sorry.
Amy Smart - she's not that pretty and always seems to be the girl the male characters want. What gives?
Claire Forlani - annoys the piss out of me, even in my favorite movie, 'Mallrats'!
Rob Schneider - when was he ever funny?
Jennifer Aniston - Despite owning 'The Good Girl', I wouldn't mind if she just disappeared.
I have never even seen this "High School Musical" crap, but I HATE the two lead tweens or what the fuck ever they are called now. Zac Effron? and Vanessa Hudgens? With the whole Zanessa thing? I want to smack them until they both cry and both ruin their eyeliner. Especially that stupid Zac, who looks so GODDAMN SMUG! It's called High School Musical, dude. You will not be proud of that fact at forty so SHUT UP.
Oh, and those damn Hills girls, Lauren and Heidi? Never seen that damn show either and I know their names. THAT IS NOT OKAY. Shut up, stupid girls. Shut. Up.
Posted by: TWoP Fan at November 20, 2007 1:55 PM
CARLOS MENCIA. But of course that has reasoning behind it. Lets see...oh yeah, the "Barefoot Contessa" and Paula Dean. Good god, I want to punch her in the jaw. She's just, ugh, like the annoying lady on the school board you want to just stop talking to you and walk away. And the "Barefoot Contessa," I don't even know. I just can't stand to watch more than five seconds of her show.
Posted by: Erin at November 20, 2007 2:03 PM
Brain fart or Box-office gold (or both): Bono as the Hef...
My Current Skank Cancers:
Julia Roberts (that trademark rom-com open-mouthed horse laugh! NOTHING is that g*d-d****d funny!)
Gilbert Gottfreid (sp?) - it all went downhill after the insurance commercials
(I originally spelled Gilbert's last name Gottfired - Freudian slip?)
Posted by: oughttabeworkin' at November 20, 2007 2:07 PM
Claire Danes, Gwen Stefani, Justin Timberlake, Jennifer Garner.
Posted by: Keffi at November 20, 2007 2:09 PM
It's funny. Every single one of the celebrities I totally hate end up getting sufficiently railroaded and sandblasted on their own accord. Or they slowly fade out of existence.
Owen Wilson, ends up trying to commit suicide. Sandra Bullock, is she even in movies anymore?
Paris Hilton, trampled to death by drunk elephants.
Fuck you, Jesus. Voodoo works.
Posted by: insertclevernamehere at November 20, 2007 2:17 PM
BSlim - I am so with you on Nina Garcia. A vile, vile being she is. And she really does always look like there's a major pile of poo somewhere near her but she can't quite figure out where it is.
Posted by: b at November 20, 2007 2:18 PM
I don't really have one right now. It used to be Hillary Duff, because I had one of her songs stuck in my head for like 4 days and it drove me to a violent hatred of her. But that's kinda faded. I hate Ben Stiller too, but that's becuase he always plays the same guy and I hate that fucking guy.
Posted by: roses at November 20, 2007 2:40 PM
My own irrational hatreds are usually a passing phase, but this one has managed to hang on a bit longer than usual.
Chandra Wilson.
I don't watch her TV show, but I did see her on The View once, and she used so many inexplicable hand gestures that I had to yell at her to stop.
She didn't listen.
Posted by: TreesAreEvil at November 20, 2007 2:41 PM
My "Katherine Heigl" is easily Shia Le Beouf. I fucking hate that guy with a undying fury of a million exploding suns. He's such a smug fucking prat. Everybody is like "Tanner why do you hate Shia Le Beouf? He seems so nice!" Because he's a twat that's why.
His whole faux humble bullshit reeks of false pretense. Frankly, I can't believe that people have been fooled thus far. His "acting" consists mostly of stammering like a jackass. And when people call him the next Tom Hanks I want to punt their torsos.
He can't even get arrested right. Loitering at a Walgreens? What the fuck?
Posted by: Tanner at November 20, 2007 2:53 PM
Sarah Jessica Parker. I want to gouge her eyes out with her 5-inch heels.
Posted by: Bistro at November 20, 2007 4:45 PM
Laura Linney. She's so superior and I, well, I can't stand her.
Posted by: Lorraine at November 20, 2007 4:55 PM
I have an irrational hatred of John Leguizamo. He isn't high profile and I don't know anything about him, but a movie is pretty much ruined for me if he appears on screen.
Conversely, I like Katherine Heigl for no real reason. I have an odd compulsion to defend her when she gets slammed, and I honestly don't know why I give a shit.
Posted by: Misty at November 20, 2007 4:59 PM
Reese Witherspoon. I think it is her pointy little chin. Not sure. I just know I want to smack her across the face, hard.
This diversion aside, though, on the subject of Cloverfield -- I have no idea whether the movie will be any good, the hype was annoying, and that trailer (or what i could see of it in that shaky camcordered version) doesn't look like any great shakes, but the movie does have the virtue of having been written by Drew Goddard, the writer who was really the only reason that the wan last season of Buffy was at all worth watching -- he wrote the Conversations With Dead People episode, which ranks among the best episodes of the show's entire run. So there is at least something going for it...
Ok, now back to business: reese witherspoon, smack her in the face, etc. As you were.
Posted by: BabyTyrone at November 20, 2007 5:09 PM
Tom Cruise as...wow. And the one actor I simply can not stand, whom I would love to remove from Hollywood forever and spit on the still-warm grave of his career - Mike Myers.
Posted by: Captainfirst at November 20, 2007 5:29 PM
Jimmy. Fucking. Carr.
Posted by: kingsize at November 20, 2007 5:30 PM
without a doubt, my katherine heigl encompasses a whole group of talent-lacking, ugly-without-makeup, actresses:
1. drew barrymore - i hate the sound of her voice and that pretentious accent she puts on for every movie she's in
2. kirsten dunst - i hate the fact that, despite having little to no presence on the screen, she is still skating by from her role in "interview with the vampire"...and fix your snaggle tooth!
3. cameron diaz - the WORST offender. the woman cannot act. she has the allure of a breadstick and the fact that they placed her within such a lofty cast in "the holiday" angers me even more. apparently someone thought that she was on the same level as kate winslet and jude law...hell, even jack black - and she's not. she sucks the life out of every scene she's in. i remember reading some god-forsaken movie theatre magazine in which they named cameron diaz the number one comedic leading lady. are. you. for. real. they then asked the queston, "how could you hate her after her little booty-shaking scene in the holiday?" how does shaking your ass count as comedy!?!?!?
oh man, forget the first two...it's all cameron diaz.
Posted by: citizen_cris at November 20, 2007 6:08 PM
Twig, I'm with ya. The sound of Dane Cook's voice is enough to make me sterile. He's not funny. There's no exposition. That's it. He's not funny.
As far as the Hef biopic: I heard about this a few days ago. I lost about four hours to a shock-induced coma.
Posted by: Smokin at November 20, 2007 6:14 PM
crap, i just read some other posts and there were two names in particular that made me scream with rage.
1. miss emmy "couldn't fake an emotion" rossum.
2. eva "beauty is a bitch, and so am i" longoria.
can people please stop trying to convince me that emmy rossum can sing? she can't, and i haven't taken singing lessons for 14 years to be told otherwise.
my hatred is totally unfounded, i'm sure...but it's hatred nonetheless.
Posted by: citizen_cris at November 20, 2007 6:22 PM
As usual, late to the party. However, I must contribute, although I happen to think my annoyance with Heigl is pretty damn rational:
Heidi Klum. By all accounts, she seems like a nice lady. I have no idea why she bugs me so much.
Reese Witherspoon. Sorry, I don't care how talented she is, her entire demeanor screams "Superior Bitch!" to me.
Owen Wilson. He's not cute. At all. And the surfer dude acting is getting old. Realllly old.
Cate Blanchett. I know absolutely nothing about the lady, even willing to admit that she's hella talented. However, she has this smug look on her face in most pictures that drives me batty.
Sarah Michelle Gellar. Buffy. Enough said.
David Anders. I really wish his Heroes character had died. Plus, I'm not sure if it's him, or the character that really bugs me.
Jamie Foxx. Brad Pitt. Adam Sandler. 3-way tie.
Why are there so many women on these lists, mine included, I wonder? What is that about?
Posted by: Daphne at November 20, 2007 6:45 PM
Oh, I forgot the most irrational of all: Matt Damon. I still maintain that the Bourne trilogy was good in spite of him, not because of him.
Posted by: Daphne at November 20, 2007 6:48 PM
My Personal Skank Cancers:
5. Bridget Fonda
4. Gwyneth Paltrow
3. Jennifer Lopez
2. Gwen Stefani
1. My new #1: Joshua Gomez, who plays Morgan Grimes on the otherwise perfect "Chuck"
Hmmm, well everybody is knocking it out of the park on this one. If I could add something, it would a trait. All of those sleaze-merchants who are too busy trowling around in twenty-year-old blonde model-mam to do anything of merit. I'm sure I'll get a bunch of 'you're only saying that because you're probably old, fat and ugly and are jealous'. No. You know who I mean, your Valderamas, your Woods-es, your Gallos (walking agar) etc. And everybody else you all said. I wouldn't say 'nay' to a suggestion of watching some morris dancers perform a routine on the entrail of Elisabeth Hasselbeck and her ilk...those pundits too. You know what, I'm going to just catch my bus before something happens.
Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at November 20, 2007 6:53 PM
"The cut of his or her jib just doesn't sit well with you."
Hee. 'Cut of your jib' always tickles me. It's so odd. I hope someone will actually say it to me one day, so I can snap "I don't like your stupid sailing metaphor!".
My Skank Cancer? BOB motherfucking SAGET. His face . . . . I see that sardonic grin and his stupid FACE and I just want to punch him. There are a lot of celebs I don't like, but none cause such a violent reaction of hate/bile/annoyance as Saget, and all I have to do it see him. Then he opens his mouth, and it gets worse.
*balls fists*
Saget . . . .
Posted by: Lauren at November 20, 2007 6:58 PM
Oprah- prefers being feared to being loved.
Melanie Griffith- disgusting.
Avril- made one decent album but has been dumbing the music down since. And she went blonde..
The Madden brothers from Good Charlotte. Or basically everything that's fucking Emo.
James Lipton- makes funny people regret they've been born with a sense of humor and it's led them to have a conversation with him.
Jamie Foxx- When he's up on an awards show stage and calls out EVERY black celebrity in the room- ever notice how they cringe? I do too.
Posted by: Nak at November 20, 2007 7:11 PM
Hey - I wrote lengthily about my own personal Skank Cancer on my blog, which I haven't written on in months. Anyway, I HATE HATE HATE Fergie. You know, that talentless, skinny, greasy, damp-crotched, pierced, fashion-illiterate waste of space from the equally worthless Black-Eyed Peas. I can't stand her. I don't have a real, actual reason, like "she ran over my dog", but I hate her anyway. I hate her voice. I hate the fact that Josh Duhamel inexplicably seems to adore her. And I hate that she's EVERYWHERE. I am praying for her eventual fade into obscurity.
Posted by: Kolby at November 20, 2007 8:47 PM
I just want to say that I love giant monster movies to death. I am absolutely thrilled that an original monster movie is being produced in America, I find the marketing around it to be very entertaining. It's not as though it's going to defy any conventions of the genre, but hopefully it will blow some minds.
Also: Renee Zellweger, Nicole Kidman, Marcia Cross. Three women who are almost universally praised for their beauty and talent and yet, look as though there is some demon imprisoned behind their faces, desperately trying to break free by any means necessary. I've never seen anything any of them are involved in, as they completely repel me on all levels, so I can't speak as to the talent, but I'm going to make an educated assumption here: they suck at everything they've ever attempted and are only famous because they were in the right film at the right time, and not due to any actual good performance.
Posted by: GoreMotel at November 20, 2007 8:55 PM
Cameron Diaz and Eva Longoria. Both are pverrated, untalented, and not as hot as some people seem to think.
Posted by: Appwitch at November 20, 2007 9:50 PM
Nice to see I'm not alone in my hatred for Cameron Diaz. She is, as Appwitch says, not as hot as some think. In fact, she looks like she smells of dirty cheese. That's right, dirty cheese.
AND: Anne Hathaway. God, she rubs me the wrong way.
As for Cloverfield, I remain hopeful. I won't take your bet, but I will weep into my pillow if it fails to meet my expectations.
Posted by: Lola at November 20, 2007 10:18 PM
P. Diddy. Completely inexpicably. I hate his stupid face, I hate his stupid name. Both of 'em. I guess I could say that I think the marginalization and "easy-on-the-ears"-ization of hip hop is largely responsible for what's so god-awful about popular music today...and is something he's largely responisble for. But his face among many. Yet his is the one I hate.
BTW, the one most hated celebrity that I have to give my back to is Lindsay Lohan. Seriously, guys, what's the big deal? Sure, she's never made a good movie, but the whole trainwreck thing never sat well with me. So, ok. She's 22...and she DRINKS A LOT?!?! Heaven's to betsy!!! And she's an actress in hollywood who does COKE?!??! WHA!?!!? I dunno...she's never done anything that's ever even shocked me, and yet I'm supposed to believe she's a trainwreck. I don't like her movies, I only like her music when I'm drunk and in a dance mood, butI guess she's sort of my anti-P. Diddy...the star I unexplicably support.
Posted by: Barabajagalla at November 20, 2007 10:45 PM
Kiera Knightly in any period piece. She does decent in modern stuff, but seriously, Kiera Knightly as Elizabeth Bennett was a travesty, as was Pirates of the Caribbean (2 and 3).
Posted by: Kelsy at November 20, 2007 11:05 PM
I. HATE. JULIA. ROBERTS. Yes, that's right. "America's Sweetheart." I LOATHE her. Every time I see her stupid giant horse mouth (and I'm a horse lover) I want to put my fist in it. Seriously.
Posted by: AnnArrogance at November 20, 2007 11:09 PM
My Skank Cancers: Jenna Elfman (I just find her annoying, but I'm not sure exactly why) and Leonardo DeCaprio (ever since the Titanic-era - I don't think he's remotely attractive, actually, the opposite, and most girls my age at the time were losing their shit over him). I want to punch Adam Sandler in the face, but I feel that that's justified, so that doesn't count . . .
Posted by: Kris at November 20, 2007 11:14 PM
Bistro - I thought I was the only one who hated Sarah Jessica Parker. Something about her just makes me think of nails on a chalkboard! She isn't pretty and she's not that talented. I literally couldn't watch "Sex in the City" at all because of her.
Also - I totally agree with all those wh said Adam Sandler. He used to be funny. What happened? Just the mere mention of his movie with Kevin James makes me need to lie down before my head explodes!
Ahhh....it does feel good to vent doesn't it?
Posted by: trixie at November 21, 2007 12:01 AM
I have to agree with the Emmy "Aren't I just so demure and mature?" Rossum descison. I would thoroughly enjoy punching her in the face.
Posted by: Caroline at November 21, 2007 12:11 AM
Christ. no one hates ryan seacrest? No one? I mean, I pray for that guy to be smote from whatever crappy little show he's hosting at that moment every night before I go to be. And sometimes just after lunch for fun. Who gets to be famous for a big fat mouth and an unhealthy amount of hair gel?
my best day is when I wake up and I've lost my arms and legs because I cut them off and beat Ryan Seacrest until he CAN'T SPEAK EVER AGAIN.
And does Keanu Reeves not make the list? My left ass check could have phoned in any of his movies about a thousand times better than he did. The only reason anyone liked him in the Matrix is because he played a dull lifeless fish. That's all he does! I watched him in sweet november which was supposed to be some kind of romantic movie. Except the leading man was a dull lifeless fish.
The best acting he ever did was in Bill and Teds excellent adventure. And that sucked it pretty hard too.
Posted by: annapalooza at November 21, 2007 12:58 AM
Oprah.
Seriously, she just makes me want to smash in the TV.
Gwyneth Paltrow, ugh.
Tom Cruise is a given, right?
Posted by: Jules at November 21, 2007 1:32 AM
Fergie is the ugliest, nastiest, skankiest, vilest, woman that pees herself on stage to ever grace God's good green earth. Why? Because I said so. Much love to all those who called her out as their personal "Skank Cancer" above.
I'll throw Julia Roberts in there, too. How is that woman able to get everything (an Oscar, another woman's husband, kids, large paychecks) and also be considered a great beauty with that horse mouth of hers and an immense lack of talent as an actor. Bitch.
Diddy is an egomanical asshole, Dane Cook is a douchebag, and Tom Cruise needs to be smote by Xenu.
It always feels good to purge all the hatred from the core of my being.
Thanks Pajiba.
Posted by: jen310 at November 21, 2007 1:51 AM
I hate Angelina Jolie to the extent that whenever someone else says what a noble person she is, I seethe with rage at whoever said it. I was overjoyed when she made all those comments about adopting kids because then I had proof that not only was she a whackjob, she was also a terrible parent and I don't see how anyone can think otherwise.
I also hate Patricia Heaton, the wife from Everybody Loves Raymond. She used to be in these annoying Albertson's commercials that made me want to throw something through my fucking tv screen. She's also a nutted-out Christain fundamentalist, and reading her shitrazy views has only fueled my hatred.
I feel better now.
Posted by: joe cool at November 21, 2007 1:52 AM
Aaaa Toothed Varmit, you've hit the nail on the head there. Especially re: his physical repulsiveness, he just looks so fucking pleased with himself all the time - he's quite literally crying out for a smack in the face with something wooden and splintery.
Also: he's a racist, misogynistic (and be aware, I do not use those words lightly... ever) fuck who can't even manage to get the dead baby comedy he's famous for right most of the time. Sample Jimmy Carr joke:
"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?"
"Rape."
Oh ha ha fucking ha. I'll be over in the corner dying from laughter. I mean Jesus jumped up Christ on a pogo stick, if you're going to joke about rape at least make it funny.
Posted by: Alex the Odd at November 21, 2007 4:44 AM
I know this will win me the hatred of many a Pajiban, but I can't stand Natalie fucking Portman. The whole faux innocence thing is really old. And she plays the same character in every damn movie. She was cute in "Leon" but yuck ever since.
And Colin Farrell, while we're at it. Talentless, pretentious grease ball.
Finally, any actor who has ever been associated with "Seventh Heaven." You can't wash off the stink of sanctimonious stupidity.
Posted by: dede at November 21, 2007 5:04 AM
How the hell has no one mentioned Mark 'Cuntface' Ruffalo
The guy is fucking terrible.
13 going on 30
Just Like Heaven
Projectile Vomit, plus he has that whole fat/thin guy thing going on and think he's 'cute' but he's just a fat man who's not that fat cos he's in hollywood. Someone please tell him to fuck off back to whatever backward US state he came from. Arggh Ruffalo you cunt
Posted by: Keith at November 21, 2007 8:12 AM
I wish Tom Cruise would go away.
Posted by: demondoll at November 21, 2007 11:15 AM
Jennifer Garner. I sometimes feel guilty for hating her since she seems nice. But I ...ughhhhh
Lance Armstrong.
And Ty Pennington, but I don't feel guilty about that since why are you yelling?!?!??
Posted by: Qwen at November 21, 2007 1:32 PM
Kevin Smith, easily.
I've hated, hated all his movies and he's completely smug and self-absorbed. I hate Kevin Smith.
Posted by: Frank at November 21, 2007 2:43 PM
Renee Zellwiger, Reese Witherspoon, and the one I want to kill the most...Jim Brewer. I couldn't watch SNL when he was on, he was so horrible.
Posted by: Jon at November 21, 2007 5:38 PM
Juliette Lewis is an automatic deal-breaker for me. I've heard The Other Sister is good, but I can't bring myself to watch it because of her.
Posted by: OhSoCranky at November 22, 2007 3:25 AM
Another couple of shites I can't stand - Heather Mills and Tom Sizemore. Each is vile in different ways. Ughhh.
Posted by: Toothed Varmint at November 22, 2007 10:52 AM
Halle Berry, is my skank cancer. I can't stand her, I think she's unbelievably overrated. One Monster's Ball does not excuse a resume of Gothikas, Swordfishes and Catwomans. Just the sight of her makes my forearm muscles flex with the desire to punch her in her smug face.
Posted by: Adamae at November 22, 2007 4:40 PM
My Skank Cancer is Tom Cruise, Dane Cook, Tara Reid, and Meryl Streep. I get livid when ever I stumble upon them while flipping through the channels. It is an unreasoning hate which is by far the best kind of hate to possess.
Posted by: Adam C at November 23, 2007 5:09 AM
***My Skank Cancer is Tom Cruise ... and Meryl Streep.***
Oww, then, for double-hatred, you must watch "Lions for Lambs". Dislike of Robert Redford is optional but preferable - for the hat trick :)
Posted by: Toothed Varmint at November 23, 2007 10:52 AM
Nah, I like Redford. He's been in way too many cool films, plus he played Death on an episode of the original Twilight Zone.
Posted by: Adam C at November 23, 2007 4:40 PM
I'm a little late to the skank cancer party, but I have to add the top of my list: Richard Gere. Can't stand the guy's work, but I couldn't tell you why because, well, I won't see anything with him in it. It could be the greatest film ever made and if it has Richard Gere in it, I'll run the other direction as fast as I can.
The female version of that: Angelina Jolie. I just don't see what the big fraking deal is about her. She's not that pretty. She's not that talented. She just more or less sucks.
Posted by: Armando at November 23, 2007 10:09 PM
While I'm at it and continuing to read other lists, I want to echo the hatred for Tom Cruise (the guy doesn't act. He just plays himself) and Nicole Kidman (she could once act. cf. "To Die For." Now? Overexposed and underrehearsed).
Posted by: Armando at November 23, 2007 10:17 PM
All this unbridled furious hate just makes me feel so warm inside......
(soft sigh).....
Posted by: mrmook at November 24, 2007 12:17 AM
I can't believe no one said Russell Crowe! That man inspires such unbelievable rage in me! I hate that everyone thinks he is the greatest actor to ever live (I HATED Gladiator!), I hate that stupid band he has, I hate everything he ever touches!
Posted by: Lauren H. at November 25, 2007 8:44 AM
Lauren H, i couldnt agree more!!!!
he's such a fucking dick!!!
Gladiator had one good point, Joaquin Phoenix, and yet fucking Crowe is regarded as the fucking b and end all of modern acting, as fucking if!!what does he do?he grunts and is hairy at people!!!
Nicole Kidman's another one.
I cant explain waht it is with her but she pisses me right the fuck off and i'm sorry but she's a talentless shill, Halle Berry too, good god what did she win an oscar for exactly, showing some pube??
And i could not agree more about the Heigl Beast, she is the most self centered cretin on this universe, i understand that last year Grey's Anatomy wanted nothing more than to distance its self from the whole Isiah Washington mess but did hey have to make it All About Heigl?!
Like, she didnt deserve the award, she didnt deserve ALL the praise she got, i'd assumed she wasnt working any more after fucking Roswell ended until she popped up in Greys.
I hated her character just because Heigl was playing her but the moment that really threw me off her? Her big 'female empowerment' moment in season one where she stripped down to her bra to be all 'yeah i got my tata's out for cash, deal bitches' as a woman who really doesnt stress over what people think of her, even *I* was going 'you couldnt have worn a nicer bra? seriously girlie, i know no ones supposed see it but who even owns a bra that looks like that who isnt 50?'
And i have to be honest too, TR Knight, George, he fucks me off to.
I mean dont get me wrong, good for him for not really taking the whole anti gay thing as far as he easily could have, but he just annoys me, he always has, he's not a strong character on the show and he comes off as...kind of smug.
You know when i think about it? I'm a film NUT and like ninety percent of hollywood 'a listers' piss me the fuck off.
I wouldnt even call Tom Cruises Wife' an A lister but she's annoyed me since the day Joey fucking StuttersMuch was vomited onto my screen waxing 'po mo' lyrical about wanting to but not wanting to but wanting to have sex with The Forehead.
What was she doing in Batman Begins?
It was ALMOST sad to watch her struggle in vain to keep up with the sky high talent of her co stars...i say almost cos i hate her so much it was actually fun to watch the bitch drown in her own talentless hype.
Who's that other one who makes me so fucking mad...there's two of them, Marylin Mansons new fuck puppet who wallowed in Thirteen which was other wise amazing, Rachel Evan Woods, Evan Rachel Woods,wtf ever, christ she needs a good hard slap doesnt she?
And the bint from Donnie Darko and StepMom and ....aaargh whats her name?! She pisses me off too, i get this vibe she thinks she's like this little indie darling when her voice makes me want to tear off my own ears.
I should stop now.
If i keep going i'll never stop. Nick Stahl.
take a bath kid!!!And Lay off the JUNK!!!
Aand that kid that was in that fucking movie....he was Amish in it and he witnessed some murder and was cute cos his eyes where huge...i just dont get it.
i dont.
Adrien Brody....sonofa....aaaaaand i have to stop, there's too many, i'll be here all day.
and ohmygod, Ricky Gervais.
i dont get it. Not cos i dont get WHAT HE'S GOING FOR...i understand the jokes he's tryna make...they're just....not funny.
at all.
in any way shape or form.
Claire Danes...Stardust could have been amazing if those two twats wheren't in it...and, tbh if the lead kid was played by some one, any one else who was...well, fit, could act, and was actually likeable and not just...kind of dull
and can some one explain th Braff love for me?
I didnt find Garden State terrible compelling but for Saarsgaard who's immense, i dont get the Braff love...can some one please explain this for me?
I love scrubs, i do, but he's shit.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH ANGELINA JOLIE!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!SHE'S NOT FIT, SHE'S NOT TALENTED, SHE'S A DISEASED WHORE WHO CLEARLY HATES HER OWN NATURAL CHILD!!!!!!!
Posted by: Nadine at November 25, 2007 10:54 AM
I had to think long and hard to come up with a couple of celebrities I hate for no (or close to no) good reason. Here they are: Kate Hudson and John Mayer.
Posted by: samantha t at November 25, 2007 11:08 AM
Alex the Odd: I, too, hate Jimmy Kimmel. I want to punch him right in his smug, date-rapey fratboy face.
Posted by: samantha t at November 25, 2007 11:10 AM
and having read through all of this list and laughin my ass off i have to say i agree with ALMOST everyone on here(i wont say who i DO like of this list just cos it'd be pointless) but yeah...glad to see the Nicole and Angelina hate isnt just me, and Nic Cage too, and Renee(although i do hold out hope that she'll some how snap back to the slightly cool/curvyness she had back when she was in Empire Records, she was actually likeable back then because she a) ate once in a while and so could carry off scrunchface better and b)hadnt disappeared up her own rectum.
I for one think Bridget Jones has totally given her an ED, she was skinny before hand but it was like, yeah well, what evs, but now she's actually a matchstick in a wig...its kinda sad.
and ooooh Cate Blanchett!!!i dont fucking get it!!!in EVERY role she's like, sooo aware the world loves her. she just has this expression like 'yes i am here, ME, The Blanchett, in your movie, making it Xtimes better than e'er it could be with out me...meeeee MEEEEEEEEEEEEE'
and Julia Roberts.
And Liv FUCKING Tyler!!!!
What in the FUCK!!she looks like a velociraptor, bitch cant act and her VOICE...ANNOYS. if she and Julia Roberts ever yawned at the same time the world would be sucked into the twin voids of their gaping maws.
Diane Keaton too. Every role i've seen her in for years she's playing the same repressed, hysterical when she cuts loose, stepped on little door mat.
J-Lo, clearly.
and i assume like others have the Cruise hatred is implied. I've never liked the guy and when he went bugshit nuts?I was sat there like 'duh peoples'
god there was some one else Sara Jessica Parker, horse faced CUNT, my god how does she get dressed in the morning? Does she have some giant creature where her cupboard should be that vomits on her every day?
and my GOD the mole.
Ugh Kiera Knightley.
Never mind that she got her tits out when she was like, fifteen MAYBE MAYBE sixteen, in The Hole, I mean the fact her fame is based on her being a litle tramp annoys me as it is.
But, and this is as some one who fucking HATED the BBC Pride and Predjudice and most adaptations of the damn thing, what THEY and by default SHE did to that movie was unforgiveable.
I saw watching it with my mum and sister who love it and know i hate it and they couldnt stop laughing at the vitriol spewing from my mouth about the tripe and the skanky skeleton.
And whatsername....Marissa from the OC....she's like the Dunst, made a single great film as a kid(Lawn Dogs for Marissa, Interview with a Vampire for the Dunst)and has cruised on being tall and skinny ever since.
I really have to stop this or i'm actually going to be here all day listing these people i fucking despise and would gladly push off a cliff
Posted by: nadine at November 25, 2007 11:36 AM
i rememebered!!!
Shannyn Fucking Sossamon!!!
Since a Knights Tale she just gets on my TITS!!
and its weird cos some of the work she does i love, and i feel like she should be some one i like, like she's 'my kind' of performer, but she just aggravates me.
Thing is though, she annoyed me just...because in knights tale, but then i watched the cast commentary for Rules of Attraction(i liked it, so sue me) and when she was talking about how the 'end of the world party' scenes where shot on 9/11...something about how she was about it just pushed it from a dislike i could get over to a deep seething hatred of 'how dare she' levels.
also, she called her kid AUDIO SCIENCE!!!!
what in the fuck!!!
and her hair cuts make her look increasingly like a junkie
Posted by: Nadine at November 25, 2007 11:50 AM
Before I vent, can I just say that I don't believe that many people (including the Pajiba writer) believe that they 'irrationally' hate something or someone. Most of the celebs called out so far are obviously disliked by commenters because they are seen as overrated or annoying or play annoying people. It may not be their own faults, half the time, but it's not really irrational, is it?
I dislike Katherine Heigl too and I'll tell you for why: when she won her Emmy (or whatever) and went "It's Hey-Gel... with a hard G" she just seemed like a real cow. I also disliked her in "Roswell" and am irritated the fact that she has a production company as this always strikes me as extremely pretentious (see also Drew Barrymore, who I hate and Jessica Alba, who I did hate but will end up feeling sorry for as she's got a little backlash thing going on).
Also on my list, and for the same reasons as many others: Claire Danes (how does she keep getting cast as the love interest??? And IRL, scoring with her male co-stars??? She's got a neck like a male wrestler), Jennifer Love Hewitt (she has big breasts that's it! Like Danes, made her name playing a homely, annoying, whiny self-obsessed character on TV), Mischa Barton (like Danes and Hewitt before her, played a horrible character, can't act and is inexplicably attractive to men) and Katie Holmes (again, played a horrible character, can't act and was inexplicably attractive to men. I think she's also supposed to have big breasts or something. At least that was the deal around the time that The Gift came out).
Milla Jovovich appals me, she always plays the same person and that person is always this perfect, scifi cosplay type and like Jessica Alba (and Natalie Portman), now that her jailbait-appeal has worn off, I can't see what the point of her is or why I still have to put up her. She's also still got the trace of an accent which I'm sorry to say makes her sound mentally subnormal. And does she has a squint or something? Because there is something funny about her eyes which I don't like. Speaking of which (my list is growing exponentially, every new subject I add just throws up categories containing thousands more subjects!) I dislike Patrica Arquette (and this is probably as close as I get to an irrational or unfair dislike): She's got weird, unsettling teeth (though oddly enough, I like Kirsten Dunst's just fine but probably because she's just been in a massive flop and her star is no longer ascendent... around the time Spiderman came out I hated her with the burning passion of a thousand fiery suns).
Anyway, Milla Jovovich is always the same, horrible fantasy woman despite her lank hair and goggly eyes, and no doubt when time comes to film Space Channel 5 or Heavenly Sword or whatever she's the first one they'll call. SIGH.
I've been getting really sidetracked here but it really was Kylie Minogue who I came to discuss. As a British person, Kylie has been inflicted upon me in ways which no American can ever imagine (nor should they have to!). She was a curly haired teen on a daily soap which walked a fine line between being completely awful and televisual crack and then she left to start a pop career which had the words "CYNICAL CASH-IN" written into it's very DNA! Into it's very DNA! She cannot sing, she could barely act and she isn't interested in anything except being a celebrity. And botox. And French men. And botox. And no-one sees it but me. It's like they've all had their minds wiped!!!! Why am I the only one who remembers that she's rubbish??? We don't still have to put up with her (original partners in crime, purveyors of early 90s cheesy pop) Jason Donovan, Stefan Dennis and SAW do we? So why does she get to hang around? At some point the ironic appreciation of Kylie Minogue hardened into a genuine, profitable (and critic proof, grrr!) appreciation of Kylie Minogue and consensus has been that she is a 'proper entertainer' and 'the nation's sweetheart' ever since. And she isn't Don't you see? She can't sing and she can barely act. And now she just looks like a COMPACTED NICOLE KIDMAN. Because of the botox! Which is the only thing she cares about! That, and being a celebrity. No, sorry, being an 'artist'. Yeuch! And boy, oh boy, she does think she is an artist (rather than a TV moppet who got lucky)... God, remember the mid nineties when she tried to hitch a lift onto that Britpop Bandwagon? (along with Natalie Imbruglia who is so insignificant nowadays that I can no longer muster the strength to thoroughly dislike her.) But she failed? And then she was rescued by effing disco music and hotpants? Denied...Who knew that this was to be our final opportunity to banish her to obscurity, where she belongs...?
Did Lord Wolfenden really write his report for this? So that the talentless, vaguely diva-esque performers would have G-A-Y bookings to see them through lean times? Kylie's taking you for mugs... she's taking us all for mugs! And now she's had that breast cancer scare I will have to put up with her forever cos she's bloody ST. KYLIE, the woman who survived cancer for all her gay fans! DAMN IT ALL TO HELL. Look at her now, with an army of writers to robotically engineer perfect, derivative pop songs for her. She's not Madonna, FFS. At least Madonna and J-Lo can legitimately claim to be trained dancers and competent entertainers of a sort. What is Kylie? A ropey old soap actress with a face you could bounce pennies off! The world is gone mad when the UK TV schedules are clogged up with bleeding tributes and retrospectives and worshipful documentaries about her return from the brink and back to the stage as the world's most rubbish Goldfrapp impersonator! Oh God, what will it take to be rid of her forever....???? She is worse than shingles! Boo hoo hoo hoo!
P.S. To those Americans who chose Bob Geldof by thankful you don't have to put up with his hideously named, hive inducing brood. Imagine a faux-intellectual version of Paris Hilton with Bob Geldolf's face and hair made of yellow straw. That's Peaches Geldof!!!! Yeah! I know...!
Posted by: WellIMean at November 25, 2007 7:36 PM
Here are a couple things that are on my shit list:
Hairspray (2007 remake)
I can't believe everyone loved this piece of crap. Okay, so Nikki Blonsky, John Travolta, Amanda Bynes, Michelle Pheiffer, Queen Latifah, and Christopher Walken walked off with a clean slate (they were the only good performers), but Zac Efron is unappealing (if I hear about him and Vanessa Hudgens one more time, my well being will no longer exist) and Brittany Snow was in full overacting mode.
People who hated Transformers
Are you fucking kidding me? I'm going to say it without remorse: I loved "Transformers". And I'm saying this fully aware that Michael Bay directed it, but this was the film he was born to direct. Its love story was more sweet than maudlin, the action was 100% intense (watch this movie for the final battle), it had alot of laughs (intentional), Peter Cullen reprised his famed role of Optimus Prime, and Jon Voight proves he can outact Angelina Jolie (I don't see why he's gonna be nominated for a Razzie in this one - maybe for "Bratz", but not this one). Hell, even Mike Bay's detractors praised him. And I wish the best for the careers for Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox (who's appearing in everyone's dream casts for "Justice League of America" and "Teen Titans").
Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End
Okay, more like At Wit's End. This is all in thanks to Keira Knighley. Jesus fucking Christ was she annoying in that film. I haven't seen such miscalculated acting ever. Because of this, the film was a bore, and had less focus on Johnny Depp's Jack Sparrow or Geoffrey Rush's Captain Barbossa. Supposedly, Knightley's character was the focal point of the entire franchise, according to Terry Russo and Ted Elliott.
Justice League movie to have young actors
I may not have read the comics, but I have enough knowledge to know this: Brandon Routh and Christian Bale should sign on and do Justice League. It wouldn't make any sense, since they're the current, and best, choices to play their respected heroes, Superman and Batman. I'm with everyone on this one: get older actors/actresses to play the famous superhero team, not untalented teens that may get shoved down our throats. And speaking of that, Steve Carrell surrogate Adam Brody's replacing Ryan Reynolds as The Flash. Though I do hope Mary Elizabeth Winstead can get the role of Wonder Woman (she's the most wanted for that role, next to Teresa Palmer) Well, I hope The Avengers has more luck.
Tom Cruise
Ugh, my skin crawls whenever I think about him. Fans, don't be fooled by his bullshit. He thinks he's so better than everybody else, and that he's God. And he makes people lower than him (like me) feel worthless. Maybe I'm ranting, but like I said, he has that sneer that makes me wanna scream. Denzel Washington is a much better actor, and he doesn't have to whore himself to idiot tabloid readers.
Curse you, Nadine! I arrived late to a huge dogpile of hate, and dug my way through to the bottom getting more and more excited with anticipation that no one called out Zach Braff...and then you weighed in. Oh well, here's another "me too" post. I need to stop arriving so fashionably late...
Posted by: Grover at November 26, 2007 7:29 AM
WellIMean!!!KYLIE!!!AAAAAAAAAARGH!!!
How could i forget the weasel mouthed TWIT?!?!?!?
and you know what i hate even more?!
That NOW when i say i hate her, despite the fact i've been saying i hate her for EVER, people go 'oh you cant hate her!!She survived breast cancer!!!'
as if that should make me hate her less!!!!
NOW, dont get me wrong, mad props to ANY ONE who can get through that, and well done to her....but i still hate the rat faced ego centric talentless somehow-a-has-been-despite-being-a-never-was bitch!!!!she just....grates!!!!And YES!!!THE BOTOX!!!!!!!!!!
And Grover, sorry dude, im just glad to see im not the only one!!
i also rememberes Sarah Chalke(Elliot from Scrubs) I just dont get it...she's not funny as a character or as an actress...why..is she still in existance?
Posted by: Nadine at November 26, 2007 12:46 PM
Vincent Gallo. Sweet JEEBUS, Vincent Frickin' Gallo. He's just this pretentious, evil, TWAT whose self-esteem is much, much higher than it has any right to be.
Anybody remember when he was offering to sell his sperm to any (well, not "any" -- he did stipulate that she must be WHITE) woman insane enough to want to bear the Spawn of Greasy (TM Tomato Nation)? And CHARGED EXTRA if the crazy person in question wanted to have sex with him?
THE HATRED!!!! IT'S LIKE FLAMES!!! FLAMES ON THE SIDE OF MY FACE!!!!
I'm about 87% sure that none of this trade round-up is true and you have, in fact, made it all up specifically to fuck with me. If you're lying about Zach and Miri Make a Porno there will be hell to pay, I just don't think I could take it.
The Universe hates me at the moment, this isn't unfounded paranoia.
I am one of the few who actually finds Heigl, as an actress not as her utterly fucking detestable character on Grey's, which I still cannot stop watching despite my best efforts, fairly magnetic. I'm not bothered by the venom spitting about her though. After all: I am the girl who hates Ricky Gervais.
That being said, he isn't my personal Skank Cancer, oh no. That particular honourary goes to Jimmy motherfucking Carr the least funny, most obnoxious and destestable man to have ever walked God's green Earth. My poor longsuffering housemate G came home one day having learnt one of Carr's jokes - he was met with bile and furious ranting from myself and his girlfriend that continued long after he had retreated to the relative safety of their room.
Fucking Jimmy Carr.