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The Daily Trade Round-Up / Seth Freilich

Trade News | April 25, 2007 | Comments (37)


Where to begin? Where. To. Begin? With so many different things going on in the TV world right now, I have just so many things to choose from. But … wait. What’s that? Pirates? Well, yeah, of course I’m going to start with freaking pirates!

So on May 31, at 8 p.m. (which is the seventh anniversary of the original debut of “Survivor” back in 2000), CBS will be premiering Mark Burnett’s latest attempt at a water-cooler reality competition. Filmed in the Caribbean last month, “Pirate Master” features eight dudes and eight gals living on a pirate ship, dressed in period costumes, eating gruel, and competing against each other. And, of course, there will be a weekly ouster after the holding of “Pirate’s Court” (while the press release didn’t say anything about this, I suspect Vegas has turned off bets on “walk the plank” being this show’s “the tribe has spoken”). Now I don’t know if this thing will be any good, but I am a bit of a whore for competitive reality shows. More importantly, of course — pirates, son! Who don’t love some pirates? I’ll certainly tune in to see if this show has the potential of offering us some light summer entertainment.

Speaking of CBS, the network has joined Fox in shelving a show because of last week’s Virginia Tech tragedy. Tonight’s scheduled new episode of “Criminal Minds” revolves around a serial killer targeting women on a college campus. So, uhm, yeah — CBS was a bit nervous and decided to go with a rerun instead. No word on if and/or when this episode will air, but I think it’s safe to assume that it’ll get a summer airing, once the VT incident has left the country’s collective conscious, as just about everything seems to do after a month or two.

Meanwhile, some television shows would love nothing more than to hit the big 400-episode milestones. “Law & Order” is one such show. This is that show’s story. Chung-chung! … Sorry, I’m a bit punch-drunk right now. Anyway, NBC and “L&O” creator Dick Wolf are still holding discussions about whether this show (and its “Criminal Intent” sibling) will make a return next season, which “L&O” must do to hit the 400 marker (“SVU,” meanwhile, has already been picked up in light of relatively solid ratings and the many well-deserved accolades thrown towards Christopher Meloni and Mariska Hargitay). Unsurprisingly, the talks are focused primarily on money, with both shows costing a good hunk more than NBC is making back on them. I would guess that we will see “L&O” come back for a run at 400, although the budget will surely be smaller — I don’t know if that means there will be casting changes, but those of you still watching can let me know.

Another show currently sitting on NBC’s bubble is “Scrubs.” As you may recall, when it was on the bubble last year there was all sorts of speculation that ABC would pick up the show if NBC didn’t. That same speculation started creeping up again, but this time the show’s creator (Bill Lawrence) has confirmed that ABC is intent on airing a seventh and final season of “Scrubs” if NBC isn’t interested. Which makes sense since, you may recall, the show is produced by ABC Television Studio, so the network could take in more profits from the show than NBC does (since NBC is forced to send some of its money ABC’s way). And this also makes sense in light of the whopping $350,000/episode contract ABC Television gave Zach Braff for a potential seventh season. Now I will say that, for me, this season has been one of the show’s weakest, and I feel like it blew its wad in season five and is now on the decline. That being said, I still wouldn’t complain about one more season, particularly if it lands on ABC, which is in desperate need of any good sitcom (and Lawrence also says his suspicion is that “Scrubs” will, in fact, land at ABC, unless NBC is pretty much un-infatuated with all of its new pilots).

Now, I’ve got some good news, bad news for you. Good news — there has actually been word of those two “Deadwood” movies we were promised after the show’s untimely demise. Bad news — there really is no actual news about the flicks. Word is that they won’t air until sometime in 2009, at the earliest, since they aren’t even likely to be filmed before late next year. In a comment on his MySpace page earlier this month, W. Earl Brown (the wonderfully brutish Dan Dority) said that there was “still no word on the ‘Deadwood’ movies” and that he had not yet been approached about a contract. And he later told the Chicago Tribune that, to his knowledge, none of the cast had signed contracts for the films, although the HBO big-wigs are “committed” to the films. As for David Milch, the show’s creator (who is also busy with his premiering-in-June “John from Cincinnati”), he claims that he’s working on the scripts and that “if I’m given strength and time, we’re definitely going to do” those “Deadwood” flicks. Which certainly isn’t all that promising. So, uhm, I guess we’ll all just keep holding our breath and hoping for the best.

And speaking of quagmires and holding our breath, I don’t know what the hell is going on with “Veronica Mars.” Last week I told you that I wasn’t personally putting much faith in that widespread internet rumor, stemming from USA Today, that “Veronica” was definitely dead. Well, later in the week, Enrico Colantoni (Veronica’s pappy) gave an interview where he said that these rumors were, in fact, unsubstantiated: “No one knows anything. But I love how people think they know.” Colantoni went on to say that the CW execs weren’t thrilled with what they saw of the proposed FBI-revamp of the show (he said they shot 10 pages for the execs and that their response to seeing this footage was: “That’s not our show.”). However, he also said that the execs loved this season’s finale, and he summed the whole situation up thusly: “You know how it works. They’ve got six new pilots. And if some of those tank, or if ‘Gilmore Girls’ doesn’t come back, then of course they’re going to want us back.”

And that would be the end of the story for now, except that it’s not. After that interview came out, show creator Rob Thomas gave an interview to say that, despite Colantoni’s statement, the CW execs had not actually seen the FBI presentation yet (they are slated to hear both season four pitches on May 2) and that he had absolutely no idea what Colantoni was talking about (a CW exec also confirmed that they hadn’t been given the new pitches yet). However, Thomas did agree with Colantoni’s comment that the CW loved this season’s finale. So I don’t know what the hell is going on over there, but this “he said, she said” turmoil just feels like a death knell, don’t it? At least we should know for sure in less than a month.

One last story for you — Comedy Central has given the greenlight to a new pilot, “Michael Ian Black Doesn’t Understand.” As our sharpest readers might guess, the show will star Michael Ian Black. He’ll provide comments on various pop-culture topics, and the show will also include sketches, scripted bits, and field segments/videos. So it basically sounds like his version of the VH1 “I Love the Blah-Blah’s” shows, along with a healthy blend of “The Daily Show” and whatever the hell David Spade’s Comedy Central show is called. Black is pretty damn funny in the right setting (which was not 2005’s rightfully short-lived “Stella”), so I’ll root for him for now, but I can’t say I’m terribly excited by the show’s premise. (However, I’m sure that our boy Dustin is quite pleased with this, because Black was on “Ed” and, inexplicably, Dustin continues to love anything even remotely related to that show.)

I’ll leave you with two tidbits. First, I unabashedly have a bit of a man-crush on Anthony Bourdain. So I found his recent diatribe against “The Food Network Awards” quite hilarious. From anal sex with the San Diego Chicken to Emeril taking a shit on another man’s desk, the column covers the gamut from bitching to scathing, and is worth a quick read. Second, this is a solid clip from tomorrow night’s episode of “The Office” (called “Product Recall”) which I share with you, just because:


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Seth “the Orangutan” Freilich is Pajiba’s television columnist. He would
totally be a pirate if he could be, and those who think Ninjas beat Pirates can suck a nut.


Pajiba Love 04/24/07 | "Sometimes I do wish that I was gay, recently, because I find you very attractive"



Comments

TV is terrible. Pirates? Somebody take Burnett out!
Sounds like all bad news on Deadwood to me.When we know they are filming the movies that can go under good news. Until then..sounds like BS to me.

Posted by: jp at April 25, 2007 9:37 AM

Sorry, but I cannot endure any Piracy oriented show that doesn't feature some sort of plundering and/or pillaging of Spanish possessions.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 25, 2007 9:38 AM

In light of their showing of the pictures and video of the VaTech psycho, can't FOX and CBS just air the episodes on NBC instead of showing reruns?

Posted by: Brian at April 25, 2007 9:39 AM

Ohhh, do I have to go to class? Can't I just sit here and watch that clip all day long? "Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica!"

Posted by: Geetch at April 25, 2007 10:04 AM

I'll have to agree with Dustin on "Ed." I loved that show. I wish they could get the music rights figured out and release the DVD already!

Posted by: Pam at April 25, 2007 10:22 AM

Garrrrr! Ahoy, mateys! Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.

Sorry...couldn't resist. Imitating pirates is irresistible, and everyone knows that imitation is the most sincere form of flattery.

Posted by: JKo at April 25, 2007 10:42 AM

I've been on a kind of anti-Michael Ian Black thing since he came to my campus for a show. he's kind of a jackass. Well, to be fair, he can be funny about 70% of the time.

Posted by: annie at April 25, 2007 10:44 AM

Have to agree with the "Ed" love as well, though, after "Love Monkey" its gone from assuming that projects involving the "Ed" alums will be good to just hoping they won't suck

Posted by: Raj at April 25, 2007 11:27 AM

Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

I watched this clip about 20 times last night and every time it cracked my shit up.

Posted by: Julie at April 25, 2007 11:38 AM

How can L&O not make money? It's on every time I turn on the teevee and I live in freaking Germany.

Posted by: AdaHaze at April 25, 2007 11:40 AM

Is wrong that I want to jump Jim even more in that outfit?

Posted by: Leah at April 25, 2007 11:47 AM

Heh. Get in line, Leah.

Posted by: Julie at April 25, 2007 12:01 PM

"Is wrong that I want to jump Jim even more in that outfit?"

Apparently, third in line here.

Posted by: em at April 25, 2007 12:21 PM

Yeah, I'll join you in the Jump Jim line, despite being old enough to be his...older sister.

Also, for some reason, I find Rainn Wilson oddly appealing on "The Office," as well. So I'd be willing to give up my spot in the Jump Jim line and mosey on over to get me a piece of Dwight. Um, yeah, it's been a long time...

Posted by: Shannon at April 25, 2007 12:44 PM

"Identity theft is not a joke, Jim. Millions of families suffer every year!"

God, I'm so glad these two are back to their old hijinks. And on a semi-related note, I had a very dirty dream involving Jim Halpert last evening, and I'm pretty sure he wasn't wearing those glasses :)

Posted by: Kristi at April 25, 2007 12:46 PM

It's obvious that CBS is just doing their part to fight global warming and lower the average global temperature by increasing the number of pirates in the world.

Posted by: M at April 25, 2007 12:49 PM

The pirate reality show made me think of an online "Are You a Wench?" test my sister sent me last year. The most awesome, reality-based question:

If you were working on a pirate ship, what would you most likely be?
A. the captain
B. the first mate
C. the buccaneer
D. pregnant

Posted by: KRK at April 25, 2007 12:57 PM

Looks like there's another M on the scene: confusion abounds, mayhem ensues.

Posted by: M at April 25, 2007 1:20 PM

"Who don't love some pirates?"

Ninjas don't love some pirates cuz ninjas wear jammies...everywhere. And all they do is kill. Meanwhile, cool-ass pirates get to be on the open water, drink, steal, rape, and kill! Plus, they don't wear the little slippers that divide your toes like a chick's cooter when she's wearing too tight of a thong jammed 'tween the roast beef curtains. Everyone knows the euphemism 'Camel Toe.' I prefer to call it a NINJA SLIPPER. So, to reiterate, ninjas don't like pirates, most likely becase they are rememberred for their indirect connection to a loose, flappy vagina.

Oh...and Deadwood movies would be cool.

Posted by: PissBoy at April 25, 2007 1:27 PM

I love Anthony Bourdain...he's the guy you want sitting next to you at the bar...his blog is spot on about the food network awards...my mom won tickets to it and it was such a fiasco she walked out...but not after she and the whole left hand side of the audience were YELLED AT by the ushers...

Posted by: Ivey at April 25, 2007 1:30 PM

Shannon- you're not the only Dwight fan. Not sure what it is, his loyalty, weirdness, whatever- I'd be his Angela any day. Sigh.

Posted by: Be Adequite! at April 25, 2007 1:46 PM

Damn! I love both Jim and Dwight so very very much.

What's the deal with Bourdain? Forgive my ignorance, but he has that PBS show right? The Food Network can definitely be pathetic at times, but is Bourdain just full o sour grapes? Someone explain, please.

Posted by: Stacy at April 25, 2007 1:54 PM

So, the title today made me start humming that Tom Waits song, "Shiver me Timbers," which is totally awesome and everyone who reads pajiba should listen to it. "Shiver me Timbers, I'm a sailing away..."

I always had a fantasy about being on a pirate ship, but of course I'd have to be disguised as a boy, which wasn't too practical after I stopped figure skating and had a growth spurt that made it quite obvious I could never disguise myself as a man. SO, unfortunately I would be the wench. Dammit!

Posted by: Rachael at April 25, 2007 2:27 PM

"which was not 2005's rightfully short-lived 'Stella'"

Agree to disagree, I guess.

Posted by: Scott at April 25, 2007 3:07 PM

I love Anthony Bourdain! I do not love the awards of which he writes. In fact, I still kind of believe that they don't exist. But Pajiba wouldn't lie to us, right? Right?

Posted by: Gudrun at April 25, 2007 3:15 PM

Rachael, you wanted to be Charlotte Doyle? Me too!!

Posted by: audrey at April 25, 2007 4:07 PM

Sooo Right about the L&O, is on everytime and everywhere and i live in the Dominican Republic!!

How can they not make any money??

Posted by: NDR at April 25, 2007 4:50 PM

Audrey, YES! That book rocked!

Posted by: Rachael at April 25, 2007 4:55 PM

Capn Gravy sez,

ALL new pilots should have pirates in them! There, new TV series jitters solved...by pirates! In fact, the only thing that could make that Office clip MORE perfect is if Jim somehow slipped a mention of pirates into his eerily thrifty imitation of Dwight.

Pirates rule, ninjas make pliable cabin boys...

Posted by: Capn Gravy at April 25, 2007 5:29 PM

Bless you, Dustin. I'll be a very happy girl when they finally release the 'Ed' DVDs. Until then, I will loyally watch anything Tom Cavanaugh is in and lust after him for reasons unknown to me.

And I saw that Office clip a few days ago. It's about time they're getting back to season two's greatness. Season three's kind of been off and on.

Posted by: Mara at April 25, 2007 7:05 PM

Good Lord, that clip was hilarious. I knew the PTB simply could not let Jim continue with that ridiculous truce he made. What took them so long is my question.

Also, ninjas beat pirates anyday. Ninja don't have to worry about scurvy and syphillis, when they weren't getting wasted off their ass to kill the pain in their rotten teeth. Plus, a bunch of dudes all alone on a ship for weeks, maybe months at a time. And I surely have yet to heat about a 'butt ninja'. Just saying.

Although, there is one thing greater than both pirates and ninjas. The Pirate Ninja Zombie Monkey Robot. It is out there. And it is coming for all of us.....

Posted by: Vermillion at April 25, 2007 7:21 PM

heat = hear

Posted by: Vermillion at April 25, 2007 7:22 PM

I'm sorry but, although I really respect your website above all other movie review websites (esp Film Freak Central, which is crap) your commentators are all fucking morons.

Posted by: T at April 25, 2007 10:54 PM

I miss Al Swearengen and his poetic profanity something awful. Cocksuckers.

Posted by: Squarah at April 25, 2007 11:07 PM

Wait...Wait...No love for Stella, and a good word for a fucking pirate-themed reality show??? What the shit! I was with you on the Ben Folds and Paul's Boutique, but this is just a slap in the face.

Posted by: gmoff at April 26, 2007 3:05 PM

Rachael - I love that Waits song, too. Why are this songs always so, so sad?

Posted by: Samantha T at April 26, 2007 7:42 PM

Another Ed fan here, and I liked Love Monkey too. Best shows ever? No. But still better than most of the crap TV churns out. And Bourdain rules. I haven't read the article yet (I will), but I'm pretty sure I agree with most of what he says, especially if he rags on Paula Deen and Rachael Ray. Those two bitches are annoying as shit.

Posted by: LL at April 27, 2007 12:03 AM