web
counter
 

Exclusive: Pajiba's Biggest Piece of Breaking News Ever -- We've Got The Emmy Nominations Early!!!

By Seth Freilich | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (20)



emmys.jpg

Best Drama Series: Some bullshit, some other bullshit, some pretentious bullshit, some self-serious bullshit.

Best Comedy Series: Some not-funny bullshit, some other not-funny bullshit, some more not-funny bullshit, “Two and a Half Men.”

Best Actor in a Drama Series: This douchebag, that douchebag, that other douchebag, you know that guy’s gay right?

Best Actress in Drama Series: Whore, whore, tramp, she’s not a whorish tramp she just plays one on TV.

Best …: Whatever, I give up, this gag’s wearing thing, you get the fucking point.

Yes. Tomorrow morning, bright and spanking early, the Emmy nominations come out. Of course we’ll be posting about ‘em. Because we live to simultaneously suck from the Hollywood teat while trying to figure out a way to bite it the fuck off. That’s how we do. But when it’s 9 a.m. on the East Coast and you fuckers are belly-aching about “where the Emmy post at, Pajiba bitches,” just come back to this post and suck m’nuts, cause I’m a-still be asleep. We’ll post about the Emmy noms tomorrow, but at our damn time of our own damn choosing.

Besides, you think that list is really gonna be much better than what I got up there? Trust, you going to have plenty to piss, moan and complain about, whatever your TV predilections.









Despicable Me Trailer | Aronovsky to Abandon Robocop?













Comments

i'm really really pulling for that douchebag.


(if only that weren't a metaphor)

Posted by: gp at July 15, 2009 4:51 PM

But when it’s 9 a.m. on the East Coast and you fuckers are belly-aching about “where the Emmy post at, Pajiba bitches,” just come back to this post and suck m’nuts, cause I’m a-still be asleep.

Note to self: Call Seth's hipster douchebag iPhone repeatedly, beginning at 7:30 a.m. EDT. Incite rage. Sit back. Laugh.

Posted by: Nicole at July 15, 2009 4:53 PM

That reminds me...

Where the Harry Potter post at, Pajiba bitches?

Pajibitches?

Posted by: Ling at July 15, 2009 4:57 PM

My money's on the whore. Wait. That doesn't sound right...

Posted by: Jeni at July 15, 2009 5:04 PM

I don't give a rat's tiny pink ass about the Emmys.

Know what I care about? I've already told you what I care about, in two or three different topics.

I understand it is to go up tomorrow. I'll be looking for it.

I won't be looking for the Emmy nominations. Because I do not care about the Emmys, see.

Posted by: Jerce at July 15, 2009 5:09 PM

Ling, don't start! :)

it will be up soon, dan's on the west coast, 7 hour movie, yada, yada...

anyway, who CARES what anyone else says about it? you know you're gonna love it.

Posted by: gp at July 15, 2009 5:10 PM

Seriously, who gives a shit about the Emmys. I just want my Bangables list.

Posted by: figgy at July 15, 2009 5:15 PM

What, you people are too good to go to a midnight screening?

Posted by: Withnail at July 15, 2009 5:20 PM

Best Drama Series: It is an outrage that some tear-jerking genre bullshit wasn't nominated. The Emmys have no standards, no substance, and no class. It's a conspiracy. Whedon - snubbed again.

To the SqueeMobile - something must be done!

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at July 15, 2009 5:53 PM

"What the hell is an emmy?"

"Well, I could be wrong, but I believe an emmy is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era."

Posted by: "Luker" the barbarian at July 15, 2009 6:50 PM

Can Pushing Daisies win? For me? I want Emerson Cod to see a Best Supporting Actor nod.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at July 15, 2009 7:00 PM

I think you mean "wearing thin".

Posted by: returnofthesmith at July 15, 2009 7:57 PM

I'm looking forward to the nominees for Best Mini-Series. I really hope Shitballs Retarded wins.

Posted by: admin at July 15, 2009 8:30 PM

Way to go actors! Way to act. Have a mini dust-gathering statue! Good job.

Posted by: Gigi at July 16, 2009 12:53 AM

I always like to imagine that behind every Emmy win is a tantrum akin to the one Sally Field has in Soap Dish.

Posted by: Gigi at July 16, 2009 12:57 AM

You forgot a comedy series nomination:
Some stupid shit that isn't fit to kiss Arrested Development's ass.

Posted by: Ed at July 16, 2009 1:07 AM

Just know a great cel eb site ___BigTalls CO M___ where you can me et many big beau tiful wo man and hand some guys.

Posted by: ALICE at July 16, 2009 4:29 AM

The scene behind every awards show:

Celeste Talbert: [accepting an award] Ohhh, there's so many people to thank. First of all, my fabulous supporting cast, who gives a new meaning to the word "support"...
[At their table]
Ariel Maloney: Bitch!
David Barnes: Hag!
Montana Moorehead: I hate her so much!

Posted by: dammitjanet at July 16, 2009 8:38 AM

Love it dammitjanet!

Posted by: Gigi at July 16, 2009 10:20 AM

5 Emmy nominations for Flight of the Conchords!

Whoot!

I know the awards mean nothing but I gotta support a fellow kiwi...

Posted by: missh at July 16, 2009 11:21 AM


















Viral Hits

>> Pajiba Movie Posters

>> Pop Culture's 20 Greatest Dancing GIFs

>> Mindhole Blowers

>> The 100 Greatest Insults of All Time

>> The "Other" 100 Greatest Movie Quotes

>> The 100 Greatest Movie Threats of All Time

>> The Sean Bean Death Reel

>> Chicks Dig Beards: It's Science

>> The Coolest TV Show Title Sequences

>> The Most Rewatchable Movies

>> The Most Expensive Movies of All Time