If you’re a high-profile celebrity who has recently had a series of personal problems that have threatened to derail your career, why is that — when you do decide to resurface professionally — you pick the shittiest, least challenging script that comes across your desk? I’m talking, of course, about both Lindsay Lohan — who has had more stints in rehab over the past four years than she has had box-office hits — and Owen Wilson, whose acting credibility even before his suicide attempt had been swirling down the crapper drain. Lohan has been cast alongside Jack Black, Mathew Lillard, Cary Elwes, David Arquette, and Orlando Jones in Ye Olde Times, a “comedy” about two competing Renaissance Fair troupes traveling through the competitive circuit. Personally, I know nothing about Renaissance Fairs except for what I just learned doing a quick Google search, namely that at larger Renaissance Fairs you can actually rent clothing, and (as Ren Faire) suggests, “changing in front of other people into unfamiliar clothing is always lots of fun!” Man, that’s what I’ve always said. Also, is Ren Faire that goofy shit that went on in the “Gilmore Girls?” I used to know a girl who attended Ren Faires; she was a bit off, as though her brain had been left under a heat lamp a bit too long. Whatever: The movie, written and directed by Robert White, is not only bound to suck, but it will probably only further damage Squirt Queen’s already faltering career.
Not that Owen Wilson is doing much better; on the heels of the box-office failures, The Darjeeling Limited and You, Me, and Dupree (a film that introduced to me what having one’s maidhenhead ripped apart must feel like), Wilson is jumping back into acting by taking the worst fucking role imaginable. He’s doing a goddamn dog movie, which is a brilliant fucking idea because, in the history of studio films, there is exactly zero decent ones (don’t even try to suggest Turner and Hooch) that didn’t involve the near death of Danny Pintauro. This one is different, though; Marley and Me is based on a true story! Yeah, the true story of a couple (Wilson and Jennifer Aniston), who decide to adopt a goddamn canine to prepare themselves for having a child (ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha … ha ha ha ha ha ha), only it turns out their Labrador Retriever is the worst. dog. ev…, you get the idea. The dog is kicked out of obedience class; he destroys their furniture; and he wreaks untold havoc on their lives before ultimately becoming a beloved companion to the couple and their children. Awwwww.
I just don’t get it: Why, when coming off of career nosedive, do you take a big, mediocre studio comedy? If it fails, then it fails spectacularly and your career continues to plummet into the cesspool of suck. And if it succeeds, you’re just another cog in the dumb studio comedy machine. Why not take the Robert Downey, Jr. route? There are directors out there who still believe in Lohan and Wilson, so why not take a low profile, meaty role in an adventuresome indie flick, as Downey did in Wonder Boys and then The Singing Detective and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. If you fail, no one even notices (see Fur), but if you succeed, then you get to do Iron Man!
Last week, Dan handed out free embolisms when he reported that Leonardo DiCaprio was remaking Akira as a live-action film, and though it’s not as high profile an anime, word is that the Wachowski’s may be producing a live-action remake of the classic Ninja Scroll. The movie, called Ninja Assassins, will be directed by James McTiegue (V for Vendetta). Moreover, the Wachowskis raised some eyebrows last week when an enterprising anime geek noticed similarities in the casting sheet for Assassins and the actual characters in Scroll. Personally, I don’t give a damn; I’ve neither seen Ninja Scroll nor Akira, and I say that completely unapologetically. Some of us have legitimately given anime a try (I suffered through both Spirited Away and Princess Mononoke wondering when the hell I was going to start enjoying it), and though it may be difficult for some anime geeks to believe, some of us simply don’t get it for the same reason that some avid baseball fans can’t stand football. Different strokes float your boat, you dig? It’s OK, all you closet anime haters, come on out. This is a safe space. But beware of Twig, though; she bites.
Have I mentioned that they are making Final Destination 4 in 3D? I don’t think I can mention it enough.
Everyone’s favorite uber-feminist screenwriter, Aline Brosh McKenna (27 Dresses, Three to Tango, The Devil Wears Prada) has been hired once again to pen a script that involves procuring “Mr. Right,” because — as we’ve all come to learn — no woman can truly be fulfilled unless there is a Mr. Right in her life. Right? The unnamed script follows “a young and highly successful businesswoman who has devoted her life to working for her legendary businessman father. But when Mr. Right enters her life and proposes to her, her father’s disapproval of her new fiancé leads her to devise a clever ploy to change Dad’s mind.” Of course, “young and highly successful business woman” is just McKenna’s euphemistic way of saying, “a well-dressed sad, pathetic, and lonely soon-to-be-spinster.”
Someone should take that woman’s vagina away from her. She doesn’t deserve it.
This just in: Matt Damon and Paul Greengrass have signed onto a fourth Bourne film. For fear of jinxing the best action franchise heretofore, that’s all I’m gonna say about it. Except this: Suhwheet.
Moving on to the visual part of our program: For the many of our Neil Gaiman fans out there in Pajiba-land, here’s a teaser trailer for Coraline — it’s barely enough to get you hot and bothered, but it may tingle your nethers all the same:
Next up, here’s some fortune cookie wisdom: “Life doesn’t always turn out to be your fantasy. That’s why you need friendships that are real to get you through it all.”
Hurl.
And finally, the Eloquents WhiskeyNinjaBabyStar phenomena has taken on a life of its own — a few weeks ago, Replica (formerly Rebeccah) gave us this magnificent illustration of WhiskeyBabyNinjaStar. Now comes Jeremy, who has come up with an equally stupendous illustration:
Lot of goddamn illustration talent out there in Pajiba-Land; you can bet I’m going to exploit it soon.
How could someone have not enjoyed "Spirited Away". Hayao Miyazaki is one of the greatest story tellers ever. You enjoyed "Stardust" but not "Spirited Away"?
I think watching too many movies has rotted your brain or some serious childhood trauma has really messed up your ability to comprehend a great fantasy flick.
Posted by: MadMonk at February 26, 2008 9:25 AM
Lohan only impressed me in The Parent Trap. I have yet to see what unbelievable "talent" she has. In all of her films, someone else manages to steal the show. This garbage looks stupid, although I do have much love for Matthew Lillard because of SLC Punk! & Scream (admit it, he was one convincing psycho). I refuse to acknowledge Scooby Doo.
OK, they pretty much gave away the plot in that SatC trailer. And it still looks sucky. What's with these lines? "I came to New York to fall in love." Are they serious? She can't be honest and just say "I banged every guy I met back home and I'm trying to forget it by re-inventing myself in the big city."
It's sad, really. I thought they ended the show on a good note; the movie really just isn't necessary.
Posted by: Brie at February 26, 2008 9:28 AM
Okay. I'm going to let loose.
You know how the cat will always gravitate towards the one person in the room who's allergic? So it is with me and anime fans. God knows, I love my friends, but the number of them I have had in my entire life who didn't like anime is in the single digits. I've seen far more anime than any normal person who doesn't like it should. (Please keep in mind I am a small town kid with strict parents barely out of her teens - we didn't have much else to do than watch videos at sleepovers.)
I hate anime. Let me say it again, I haaaaaaaaate anime. I hate its stupid, lazy animation. When I run, I do not just have some lines moving behind me. My legs move and everything! I know!
I hate that all the characters look alike. I hate spikes of purple hair larger than the character's torso.
I hate the motherfucking poignant cherry blossom scenes. From what I can tell, Japanese commuters must have to shuffle to work through 8 inches of cherry blossoms, they're falling so often.
I hate the cult of personality around the creators and the voice actors. I hate dubbing in general.
I hate how slow everything is. Just fucking fight already!
And yes, I'm well aware that part of my vehemence is due to the fact that had I any real choice in the matter, I would have seen maybe, maybe 10% of the anime I've seen. But I fucking hate anime.
Bravo Sarah! Let it all out. -- DR
Posted by: Sarah at February 26, 2008 9:28 AM
(I suffered through both Spirited Away and Princess Mononoke wondering when the hell I was going to start enjoying it)
...
It's too early. It's way too early. My brain just jumped that (and I hated Ninja Scroll so have at, Wachowskis) and pounced onto the Fourth Bourne Movie. YES.
Posted by: twig at February 26, 2008 9:29 AM
So, Sarah, do you like anime or not? I'm not sure you made your stance clear. Let me join you though in your anime hate. I hate it. Let the geek army attack, I'll take all you fuckers down, all I have to do is take away your inhalers. Yes I went there.
Gaiman!!! Yay...nethers definitely tingling.
If anyone shows me a trailer for that fucking film AGAIN, I'll move to the U.S., buy a gun, fly down to Hollywood and hand out some motherfucking justice! Why is that "27 dresses" woman still writing films? Why hasn't anyone shoved her head in a meat grinder? TK? B-Slim? What the fuck are you guys doing that's more important than this?
Posted by: joker at February 26, 2008 9:35 AM
Dustin, if the dog movie with Wilson is "Marley and Me" (which I suspect it is)... I hate to admit it, but the book is actually pretty damn good. It's funny and, in parts, incredibly depressing. I suspect whatever Hollywood converts it to will be a complete abomination, but... it's a pretty good book.
Anime - meh. Like many genres, there is good and bad. Some of the good ones are incredible, though. But I'm hardly a lover of the genre. But Akira is truly impressive, all the more reason the live-action idea hurts.
It is Marley and Me -- I have no idea how I managed to forget the title of the film. -- DR
Alright I'll bite. it's been said before, and I'll say it again: saying you don't like anime because you didn't like "spirited away" would be saying you don't like american movies because you didn't like The Lion King. Anime is a diverse genre Miyazaki's anime is nothing like almost anthing else out there. Many people (myself included) enjoy it, but it's in no way representative of anime in general. Sarah - it sounds like your friends watch crap like Dragonball Z and Ranma 1/2 and Tenchi (confession - I used to watch Tenchi, a lot, until the different universes got to be too much for me. It was addictive, but it wast most certainly crap.) Again, not all anime is alike. Akira is awesome, Cowboy Bebop is so awesome it hurts (Dustin, I will take your "I've tried anime" seriously when you've watched at least a couple of episodes of this. Better yet, watch and real time blog it for us.) Ninja scroll they can have but seriously? Did I not mention in an earlier thread that there's a character who's told he has to have sex with a hot chick to counteract the poison that's killing him? Also, there is totally a scene where a guys arms get ripped off, and one where a snake comes out of a lady demon's....oh never mind....(rant over)
Posted by: s. pisaster at February 26, 2008 9:56 AM
(I suffered through both Spirited Away and Princess Mononoke wondering when the hell I was going to start enjoying it)
You are my soul brother.
I have nothing against anime or fans of anime, provided they continue to exist completely separate from any aspect of my life.
Posted by: Jerce at February 26, 2008 9:57 AM
Why is that "27 dresses" woman still writing films? Why hasn't anyone shoved her head in a meat grinder? TK? B-Slim? What the fuck are you guys doing that's more important than this?
Well, joker, I suppose it's a complicated answer... no, wait... it's not. I remember why I haven't done anything. I just flat-out no longer give a fuck. I can't. I've got too much to worry about, what with the Akira remakes and the Iron Man movie and, well, there's only so much I can TAKE, GODDAMN YOU. I CAN'T DO EVERYTHING, FOR FUCK'S SAKE. HOW MANY PEOPLE DO I HAVE TO KILL BEFORE HOLLYWOOD HEARS MY CRIES, HUH? DO YOU WANT ME TO KILL MYSELF (again)? DO YOU, MOTHERFUCKERS?!
I'm trying to ignore it. I'm trying to make the hurting stop. Oh, sweet, wonderful numbness, why must continually neglect me, and instead let this irrelevant fury overtake me.
I'm neither a rabid anime fanboy nor a slavering hater of all things big-eyed and kawaii. I've seen quite a bit of anime - some of it good (I still maintain that Ghost In The Shell is the genre's equivalent of Blade Runner in its usage of sci-fi tropes to provoke philosophical musings about what it is that makes us human, and Perfect Blue is a fantastic psychological thriller with what is to my mind a wonderfully nasty subtext exploring how much of themselves a person gives up when they become a celebrity, and how hard it is to go find themselves again when the dream goes sour), some of it not so good (most of the latter category falling prey to exactly what Dustin mentioned - awful pacing, lazy animation, excessive reliance on visual cliches, too-similar character design).
Thing is though, just as Dustin is perfectly entitled to go jelly-kneed and misty-eyed at a particularly good romantic comedy while we cry out for our dosage of snark and bitchiness, so too are some of us allowed to watch Akira once more with the same wide-eyed marvel that we always have while he stutters at the apparent absurdity of it all.
Horses for courses, people.
Posted by: Dill The Devil at February 26, 2008 9:58 AM
I definitely would not consider myself a fan of anime; however, I absolutely adored Spirited Away! I agree with MadMonk.
Also--and this may be because of my lack of knowledge about anime--but does Spirited Away count as anime?
Posted by: tamatha at February 26, 2008 9:59 AM
Talking smack about Miyazaki AGAIN, you just can't help yourself can you, little man. Tell you what, I'll be the bigger person and refrain from the customary death threats and calling you an asshat.
As for the loser twins: Lohan is just staying true to form, all her films are box-office clunkers (and don't give me the Mean Girls line, THAT was a Fey/McAdams vehicle), and Wilson goes and makes a movie with Aniston aka Rachel who is the box office equivalent of a cartoon anvil dropping on your head.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 26, 2008 10:01 AM
tamatha, how would it not?
Dill, have you seen Satoshi Kon's other movies?
Posted by: twig at February 26, 2008 10:02 AM
Oh, and if by exploiting the illustration talents of Pajibans means that there will actually be a WBNS PBT2008 T-shirt made, exploit away!
And hurry. I seriously want one.
Posted by: tamatha at February 26, 2008 10:03 AM
Also, Dustin, the fact that you got online and googled for Ren Faires means you probably did more research than the scriptwriter for that... *shudder* movie.
Actual Ren faires are a good excuse to stand in the sunshine and drink beer. Please do not judge by the outliers and I'll try to forget that it's you normal people who are responsible for Rainbow Killer.
(I realize as I am typing this that I have a half-finished cosplay costume and the second His Majesty's Dragon book in my bag... I really am the geekiest Pajiba.)
Posted by: twig at February 26, 2008 10:06 AM
I have yet to see what unbelievable "talent" she has.
You must be looking at her face. Okay, move down, down . . . too far, you're looking at her hips. That area has helped with her success, too, but not in a way that is pertinent here. Look up, up, are you at her stomach yet? Up another tick, now ... stop. You're there. As finally admitted in the upcoming New Yorker spread, those twin turbo props are the unbelievable "talent."
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at February 26, 2008 10:07 AM
twig: Sadly, no I haven't - any recommendations?
Posted by: Dill The Devil at February 26, 2008 10:09 AM
I loved the Coraline clip.
When she goes through the little door and down the tunnel, does she end up in John Malkovich's brain?
Or is it more of an "Alice in Wonderland fall down the rabbit hole into an alternate universe" kinda thing?
As much as I like the animation technique, the story better have a nice twist I haven't seen before.
Posted by: BWeaves at February 26, 2008 10:10 AM
And just how much do you wanna bet that Lohan will get the chance to parody her only claim to "acting " success by doing her version of an overly affected "english" accent.
Only this time it will sound like the one she did for Parent Trap after a lifetime of smoking three packs of smokes a day, five messy divorces and ten years of stripping. In other words, it will sound just like she looks.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 26, 2008 10:15 AM
Don't do it TK, you have too much to live for (and I'm not writing you another damned eulogy)!
I'm loving the artistic goodness, especially this current one. It's cute. It's kinda rectangular. I want it on my clothing. Somebody get to it.
The Coraline trailer has me almost mute with excitement. Marvellous!
I'm sticking my fingers in my ears and frantically "la la la"ing while the anime discussion continues. I have an absolute weakness for it. Even the really crappy "gateway" series that barely count as actual anime (I have series two of... erm something involving monsters that may or may not be digital.. sitting on my desk right now and the compulsion to run off to the lab and watch it is overwhelming. Also I have something with vampires in it. Vampires. Eeeee.) but no actual taste so I'm staying waaaaay out of it.
Your bad luck with anime fans Sarah sounds like me and sports nuts. I have little to no interest in sports of any kind and yet 90% of my social interactions invariably centre around watching them. It's maddening.
Lindsay Lohan makes me sad. She used to be an adorable befreckled redhead and now she's... well.. she's Lindsay Lohan
Posted by: Alex the Odd at February 26, 2008 10:18 AM
BWeaves: Coraline is based on Gaiman's excellent children's book. It's much more "alternate universe;" Coraline essentially discovers a mirror world with Other Father and Other Mother, and she has to go on a fairy tale style quest, but in the wonderful Stardust/Mirrormask style.
Posted by: Sarah at February 26, 2008 10:19 AM
Well that feels like my umbilical cord of love for all things Pajiba just got sawed in half.
I get it. Not everyone likes anime. I have no idea why, but that's how it is. Still...I don't think I'll ever be able to view Pajiba the same. It'll be like that relationship you have with a really, really awesome uncle who you think is the coolest guy in the world, and then he stays over for a few days, and then you accidentally find out he's been looking up incestuous porn on the computer, and I mean, he's still awesome but it's never the same after that.
Aaand that would be my cue to return to lurking.
Now Cookie -- don't let my distaste for anime sour you on Pajiba; there are several anime geeks in these parts, both above the comment line and below. I just don't happen to be one of them. (Phillip, on the other hand ... ) Also, riling up anime geeks is an easy way to get comments and, as you know, comments are the fuel of Pajiba. -- DR
Posted by: Cookie at February 26, 2008 10:20 AM
When I was little and lived in England, I had a friend who lived in a big, old, spooky house. Her bedroom was small, but it had a closet door in it, which was really unusual for English houses because they don't have closets (taxed by the "room" you see). Well, inside the closet was a little door, and if you went through that, and down a couple of stairs there was a little room under the sloping roof with a big old chest full of old clothes. We played in there for hours. It was so cool. Why don't they build houses like that anymore?
Posted by: BWeaves at February 26, 2008 10:22 AM
Dill;
I guess 'all of them - right now' would be a bit too rabid fangirl, but I can recommend all of them for different reasons.
"Milennium Actress" is the one I would say is a must see. It's a love story mixed with the history of Japan/Japanese cinema - I've been trying to come up with a good way to describe it, but it's just so beautiful all the way through.
"Tokyo Godfathers" is a pretty good comedy. Not my favorite movie of his off the bat, but it has grown on me. Three homeless people try to take care of an abandonded baby. He likes to play around a lot with chance and coincidence in this movie.
"Paprika" was the newest one, and probably the one most like Perfect Blue, although never that dark. It deals with dreams and reality which is sort of the director's MO anyway. Probably my least favorite of all of them, but that's kind of like least favorite of delicious ice cream - it's still worth your time.
Also, he has a TV series, Paranoia Agent, which is compelling enough but REALLY interesting if you research a little of the background - it's kind of this deconstruction of modern Japanese life. Probably not average-viewer fare but if you have the time and the interest it doesn't disappoint.
Posted by: twig at February 26, 2008 10:22 AM
Plot differences should definitely be acknowledged, it's not all the same story.
There's a few very distinct, very common styles in Japanese animation though, same with the comics. I think that point should be ceded, as well as its potential to bore or annoy....or drive completely around the bend. Meanwhile, some people have a hell of a lotta fun with it. What can ya do?
I have series two of... erm something involving monsters that may or may not be digital..
*snerk*
Also I have something with vampires in it. Vampires. Eeeee.
I hope that's Hellsing: Ultimate and not Trinity Blood.
Posted by: twig at February 26, 2008 10:24 AM
It's ok, TK, calm down. I'll do the killing for you. Maybe nuke them or something.
Did I miss a 4th Bourne book? Here I thought there were only 3. Dammit. Still, more Matt Damon kicking ass...yes please.
Oh the anime defence team has arrived I see. Kinda mellow though, so far no one has taken out their light sabers. Disappointing.
Posted by: joker at February 26, 2008 10:26 AM
Sarah: Thanks. So it's "Alice Through The Looking Glass" with a Neil Gaiman spin. I'm looking forward to it. Now I've got to go find the book, thank you.
Posted by: BWeaves at February 26, 2008 10:27 AM
Anime is not my forte. However, woo for those who like it, unless you are talking about Pokemon. I hate Pokemon with an insanely intense hatred. I blame my college dorm-mate and her 3 foot tall Pikachu. Want to discuss things that mess with your head in the middle of a good drunk? Try a 3 foot tall Pikachu with glow in the dark eyes watching you.
Matt Damon, so pretty. So, so pretty. Mmmm....
SATC ended at a good place, until now. At least the trailer had shirtless what-his-face. He is not a good actor (see his work on Brothers and Sisters for confirmation), but he is so nice to look at.
Dustin, you forgot the exclamation point at the end of WhiskeyBabyNinjaStar!
Posted by: Melody at February 26, 2008 10:27 AM
Cookie: don't let that sour you, I manage to keep coming here in spite of the overwhelming hipsterism and blatant asshattery, they somehow manage to get something right, once in a while. There's also a good group of long suffering Pajaviets who keep the place lively even if they have to put up with the abuse constantly put out by our overlords, like today.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 26, 2008 10:27 AM
The biggest thing I hate about anime? If I were to say, "I don't like thrillers. I've seen 'Cape Fear' and 'Silence of the Lambs' and I just don't like the genre" I wouldn't have idiots coming out of the woodwork to argue with me and try to force me to change my mind. Its my choice to not enjoy what I think is crap. How many crappy movies do I have to hear about, even get dragged to, explain why I dislike it, and still get told I'm ignorant for not liking movies which don't make sense, are incredible boring, and quite frankly are sometimes offensive. If I were to judge Japanese society from their anime, I'd say they have a fucked up view of women and need to actually meet a black person. But that wouldn't be fair. Wouldn't want others to think America is like our torture porn films. Still its my right to say this: Anime is crap and I don't like it.
Posted by: diablo at February 26, 2008 10:30 AM
so why not take a low profile, meaty role in an adventuresome indie flick, as Downey did in Wonder Boys and then The Singing Detective and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.
The problem with this logic is that Downey can actually act, and he can take on pretty much any role and succeed; Wilson and Lohan are one-note hacks.
Posted by: llism at February 26, 2008 10:30 AM
Apologies to all of you who enjoy anime, and you make excellent points re. not judging the whole genre based on one or two films, but since Dustin invited us...
AAAAAHHHH!!! I hate anime! Can't even bear to look at it!! Those f***ing creepy giant-eyed spiky-haired beings CREEP ME THE HELL OUT!!!!!
*ahem* Sorry about that, and thanks for listening.
Posted by: MO at February 26, 2008 10:31 AM
Only this time it will sound like the one she did for Parent Trap after a lifetime of smoking three packs of smokes a day, five messy divorces and ten years of stripping. In other words, it will sound just like she looks.
Well, then why don't they just get Amy Whinewhore? She's probably more reliable to show up at the set.
And not sure everyone noticed, but the following mathematical proof was just offered up: Portion of Pajiba readership not liking anime = discovering your cool uncle views incest porn on his computer.
For me, it was discovering that most of the Pajiba staff despises The English Patient, which is, of course, the same as catching my favorite priest giving it to a 10-year old altar boy in the apse.
[rim shot! I'm here all week folks!]
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at February 26, 2008 10:31 AM
For some reason, Cary Elwes in a Ren. Faire comedy seems totally appropriate to me. Maybe it seems funny for the same reasons Men in Tights was- namely, that Elwes seems to be too dignified to take part in such things, but there he is anyway.
The poor guy, he really does deserve better than to be in a movie with La Lohan.
Posted by: Lannie at February 26, 2008 10:34 AM
There's also some problems happening with the ads today it seems, freezing up the page then "continue this script?" stuff.
I've seen the HP ad, but I hope you don't get those ads that leave the page while you're reading it that are getting more and more common. Revenue's revenue, but that's my humble request.
We are not using those ads here; in fact, I've noticed the weird lag/script problem, too, and I have no fucking idea what's causing it. If we have any code geeks out there, please share with me the problem so that I can correct it. -- DR
Posted by: Jay at February 26, 2008 10:34 AM
Still its my right to say this: Anime is crap and I don't like it.
So stated the controversial diablo, who is, of course, a former stripper turned professional commenter. Back to you, Chris.
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at February 26, 2008 10:35 AM
Dill: I respectfully recommend Witch Hunter Robin and Samurai Champloo both short series (you can Torrent thess BTW), there's the obligatory COwboy Bebop AND the alternate Ghost in the Shell series Stan Alone Complex and 2nd Gig.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 26, 2008 10:35 AM
Thanks for that, twig - I currently have a HMV gift card lying around that I haven't used up yet, might go tottering around online and see if I can't snaffle me up a copy of one of those. Paranoia Agent sounds really familiar, somehow - I think my anime-obsessed friend Riki may well have been singing that series' praises to me at some point in the dim and distant past.
Posted by: Dill The Devil at February 26, 2008 10:35 AM
Dustin- Here is all you need to know about Ren Faires, courtesy of MST3K:
(Dr. Forrester has blow-up punching dolls depicting Renaissance Faire characters.)
Forrester (presenting a harlequin doll): I am Harlequin.
TV's Frank: I am your worst nightmare! (punches doll)
Forrester (presenting a blacksmith doll): Won't you sample my wares?
TV's Frank: Won't you sample my FIST, you charlatan!!! (beats the crap out of doll)
Twenty bucks to get in. Huzzah my ass!
Posted by: numchuck at February 26, 2008 10:38 AM
socalledonlycousins proves my point perfectly. You can voice any personal views here unless it offends the anime crowd and then they begin to insult you. Still doesn't change my opinion on anime.
Posted by: diablo at February 26, 2008 10:41 AM
*does a little dance* ohmigod ohmigod I was noticed by one of the famous commentors on Pajiba. WOW!
Sorry, momentous occasion and all.
BSlim, I'll recover soon enough. It's just that the blow was particularly difficult having just finished a rather emotionally manipulating anime series that left me far too fragile-hearted to deal with any anime-hate.
Posted by: Cookie at February 26, 2008 10:44 AM
I agree that pretty much all anime is garbage. Ghost in the Shell? Princess Mononoke? Paprika? Piffle. However, there is ONE anime movie I like: Howl's Moving Castle. It's one of my favorite movies, and I've shown it to other anime-haters, who have also loved it. I don't know why it's so different (likeable) for me, but it's a sweet love story (sans standard impenetrable anime plots) with gorgeous music and great voice work, and it just gels. If any of y'all want to give it a chance, I highly recommend it.
Posted by: llism at February 26, 2008 10:45 AM
"...when coming off of career nosedive..." Shouldn't there be an "a" between "of" and "career"? Not to be mean or anything, I just like being picky.
I will admit to watching DBZ when I was younger. I would get out of school and watch Goku and Co. talk, talk, talk, punch, talk, talk, monkey, talk, two or three punches, talk. After the talking, they would eventually fight. I must say watching Vegeta and Goku go at it, was pretty cool. Galic Guns for all! Inevitably, the high would go away and onward to more exposition!! Tally ho! Thankfully, I graduated past that and am just now enjoying the goodness that is Neon Genesis Evangelion. Wasn't there an anime called The Fist of the North Star? Unless my memory is wrong (and I don't feel like searching for it), this one had gallons of blood flying out of a person's body for every punch landed. Of this one, I only saw the final battle, so if it is a decent flick let me know, but from what I saw, I'll just pass. A lot of anime just ain't that great, but I will most certainly give it a try.
Posted by: ScarletKnight at February 26, 2008 10:47 AM
I had ren fair neighbors once. They took it really seriously. I saw it as a kind of trekkie-esque lifestyle with a hint of middle-earth.
Posted by: Thornsoaper at February 26, 2008 10:52 AM
I hope I'm not one of the pretentious asshats you speak of Bslim. I don't think I could take the shame.
What were you watching Cookie? I'm all about emotional manipulation.
"I hope that's Hellsing: Ultimate and not Trinity Blood."
Alas, twig it is not. It's on my "to be procured" list but so far no joy. Currently I have Tsukuyomi Moon Phase sitting on my desk. No idea whatsoever as to its quality but I'll give it a go this evening and see if it's worth sitting through the entire series.
Still it should be noted that Vampires and/or Werewolves will make me watch anything. Except Moonlight. Good God was that fucking terrible.
Posted by: Alex the Odd at February 26, 2008 10:57 AM
It may be that its not 'Anime' that is the problem, but the singular director whose work you managed to chose twice.
Would you claim that 'movies' weren't your thing if the only movies you had seen were directed by, say, Eli Roth?
I like Anime, and I still agree that Mononoke and Spirited Away are dull as dishrags.
That's just Miazaki's style I guess...
Posted by: Spike at February 26, 2008 11:02 AM
You are many things Miss zee Odd, but pretentious is not one of them.:)
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 26, 2008 11:05 AM
Cookie: don't let that sour you, I manage to keep coming here in spite of the overwhelming hipsterism and blatant asshattery
Don't forget the ipod-wearing, Slim ... the horror ... the horror.
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at February 26, 2008 11:06 AM
Slim, adopting the German accent now?
Posted by: Melody at February 26, 2008 11:08 AM
er, does Coraline open a door in her room and crawl back up into a birth canal? I'm don't think of myself as being particularly Freudian, but that image made me feel a bit more fetid than fetal.
ick
Posted by: mr happy at February 26, 2008 11:10 AM
I'm still doing my little dance of utter happiness. Perhaps I should stay up to the wee hours of the morning more often to be part of these discussions (located as I am so inconveniently in Australia and its damn timezone).
"X" was the anime I just finished, Alex (oh god, do I call you just "Alex" or should I call you "Alex the Odd"? I'm not used to talking to the Pajiban superiors!). Mostly it got to me because there was a dog involved, and animals are key to immediately tugging heart-strings. Also recently finished was "Elfen Lied", which is pretty standard for any anime fan, but still. It's the biggest mindfuck of "Blood! Gore! Destruction! -- Cuuute!"
Have you seen Dracula 2000 by any chance? Vampires + Gerard Butler = Both ridiculous and fucking terrible. But at least we got to see Gerard being his sexy, sexy self.
Posted by: Cookie at February 26, 2008 11:11 AM
Oh god, Tsukuyomi Moon Phase. The anime that completely ran out of budget halfway through ep 4 and kept soldiering on, regardless.
I wish I could go back and see Hellsing fresh again. It's like the creator did a large amount of crystal meth, cranked 'Ride of the Valkyries' until the walls shook, and decided to write about theology.
It has vampires AND werewolves. Nazi werwolves!
Posted by: twig at February 26, 2008 11:12 AM
Melody: I've been trying to become crueler in my daily dealings. It doesn't get crueler zan a German accent, mein fraulein.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 26, 2008 11:13 AM
Jesus fucking Christ - are you people even speaking English anymore? I swear, Anime talk makes me dizzy, and I actually like some of it.
I was so upset at this assertion that I curled into a fetal position, crying and clutching my VHS copy of Oh! Heavenly Dog. You're a brute, Dustin! A philistine!
Posted by: kushiro at February 26, 2008 11:16 AM
As a relatively new Pajiban I am wondering if someone can please explain the whole "WhiskeyBabyNinjaStar!" phenomenon? It's totally cute and I am always in favor of a t-shirt that confuses other people, but I just don't get it.
Posted by: Sarabelle at February 26, 2008 11:17 AM
what I don't get about Renascence fairs is why people dress up in medieval costume; surely they should be dressed up as DaVinci or Machiavelli, not some knight or blacksmith.
And for those who hate anime, try Grave of the fireflies
Posted by: cockroach at February 26, 2008 11:20 AM
Sarabelle, as the dope who thought up that bit o' madness, I suppose I can direct you to it's genesis. It starts in the comments of this post:
Why thankyou Herr Slim, (I'm going to stop short of asking you what other things I may be as I fear I wouldn't like the answer) you are a gentleman and a scholar - don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Ooooh, I last saw X ages ago. It's in my DVD wallet somewhere, I shall dig it out again and rewatch it. I also have Elfen Lied sitting on my desk at home (it's underneath my Justice League discs, I really should get around to watching them at some point) I didn't get on with it on first watch but I will admit that I only turned it on because I was going through a period of insomnia. It freaked me the fuck out. Maybe I should try watching it when I'm not half crazed from lack of sleep?
Feel free to mangle my name however you see fit Cookie, although most folks tend to settle on Alex or ATO. Don't return to lurking, stay in the magical commenting world with us! We don't bite. Although if you're under 25 you may have to watch out for socalled's cane - he doesn't much like us whippersnappers.
And I hear ya on the time differences, it's a pain to be out of synch with the rest of the civilised world.
Now I'm utterly sold on Hellsing. Nazi werewolves you say? Excellent!
Posted by: Alex the Odd at February 26, 2008 11:26 AM
Um, Dustin, isn't Because of Winn Dixie your number 10 best kids movie of all time? Isn't that (ostensibly) a dog movie?
Er. No comment. -- DR
Posted by: Snath at February 26, 2008 11:29 AM
I think we may be approaching an anime detente here; the pro- side is beginning to acknowledge that different people like different things, and the antis are becoming more tolerant of the notion that not all anime is alike. Maybe we should see if Camp David is free this weekend. I'll bring chips and salsa.
To start the negotiations, I will concede that the plot of Spirited Away was a bit... dense... but no more than the ending of 2001: A Space Odyssey.
Posted by: jeem at February 26, 2008 11:32 AM
Ugh, Anime. I swear my hatred would not be nearly as intense if my friends didn't try to convince me of its awesomeness with a religious zeal. Listen, I said I didn't like it. Forcing me to watch "Cowboy Bebop" for three hours won't change that. You can show me as many episodes as you want and I will continue to look at you in confusion as you laugh your ass off. I don't think the "comedy" elements are funny at all. (Why does everything have to be so broad? What about subtlety?)
I've seen plenty of anime (having been forced to watch way to many "movies/tv shows that will change [my] mind") and I still don't get it. I just don't like it and would never choose to watch anything remotely anime-ish. I don't hate Japanese culture, I'm not xenophobic, I don't have terrible taste, I don't "just not get it", and I don't hate all animation. I just hate anime. I'm sorry, but it's true. Actually, no I'm not sorry.
Posted by: Tori at February 26, 2008 11:32 AM
AtO: Seriously, Hellsing is awesome. Maybe not the best-written anime ever, but it manages to glide by on an almost palpable sense of cool. Not to mention the fact that the main character, Alucard, is almost hilariously badass, and there's a drinking game to be made out of how many cigarettes his 'boss' crushes out after only one, two, or sometimes even no drags whatsoever.
BSlim: Thanks for the recommendations, I'll be badgering my bandwidth-whoring housemate to get right on downloading those for me forthwith.
Posted by: Dill The Devil at February 26, 2008 11:34 AM
Alex, just be sure you go with Ultimate and not the earlier Hellsing TV show. There's a point in the first TV show where they ran out of manga AND budget and the show goes to suck on a near-vertical angle. Ultimate, from what I understand (still playing catch-up), follows the manga more closely and therein lies the werewolves. And the regenerating crazy-ass Irish Catholic priest who fights with trowels.
Posted by: twig at February 26, 2008 11:39 AM
You, Me, and Dupree (a film that introduced to me what having one's maidhenhead ripped apart must feel like)
BWA!!! Oh man that cheered me up.
I am in way too horrible a mood to get into the anime discussion (falling down the stairs on your way to work will do that), and I have no business doing so anyway...I only got through half of Howl's Moving Castle. I did always want to see Princess Mononoke.
Nazi werewolves you say? Excellent!
Yes, please.
Posted by: Julie at February 26, 2008 11:41 AM
Mornin' all. Time to take this Pajiba by the horns and rastle that sumbitch to the dirt. I've been a fan of anime for nigh on 20 ought years. By gum I remember the good ol' days of Crystal Triangle, Ghost in the Shell, Bubblegum Crisis, Ninja Scroll, and Guyver. It's hard to find a decent piece of anime these days that doesn't have 10 foot long tenticle penis' (peni?) or heroines in mini skirts that look like they're 11 years old or 10 foot long tenticle penis' (peni?) violating heroines in mini skirts that look like they're 11 years old, or someone screaming "IMGONNAKILLYOUWITHMYSUPERDUPERHYPERBEAMDEATHRAYASSOONASIFINISHDESCRIBINGITTOYOUUUUUUUU!" every 2 minutes.
The draw to anime (pun meet Manny, Manny meet pun)for me has always been the quality of the art, story, and animation. Sure, you're bound to find lazy artists/production companies with poor sound/art quality and if all you've been exposed to are old episodes of Dragonball Z or Tekkaman, I can understand why you would have been soured to it. However, if you do yourself a solid and pick up Akira, Ghost in the Shell, Princess Mononoke (shame on you, Dustin), Ninja Scroll, the Cowboy Bebop movie, Read or Die, Basilisk, you'll have a better understanding of why anime has the following it does.
However, if someone asks you if you've seen Urotsukidoji, I want you to promptly kick them in the nuts and pour bleach in their eyes. That shit just gave me nightmares.
what I don't get about Renascence fairs is why people dress up in medieval costume; surely they should be dressed up as DaVinci or Machiavelli, not some knight or blacksmith.
What, you've never seen a Ren Faire Klingon?
Posted by: twig at February 26, 2008 11:41 AM
I feel so socially acceptable all of a sudden. Except I'll take your advice Alex and never, ever mention my age. Am I twenty, or am I thirty? Ah, the escape from age-based bias is refreshing on the internet in a way that it can never be in real life.
Mm, "Elfen Lied" is one of the more disturbing anime that I've seen. Perhaps "Death Note" should be mentioned for the violence, but it lacks the whole "Squeee!" factor that "Elfen" uses to screw with your head.
Just for the record, "Kiddy Grade" is the best title for anything. Ever. I can't wait to watch it.
And as much as I would love to stay and chat, I still have to wake up in an ungodly six hours in order to continue to wrest a living from this big world.
Ciao!
Posted by: Cookie at February 26, 2008 11:43 AM
After jeem's comment, I'm trying to imagine a debate between hardcore pro- and anti-anime factions...
*Pro-Ans and Anti-Ans stand facing each other from an impractical distance across a windswept landscape*
Pro-An Spokesperson (in a near unbroken stream of rapid-fire syllables): "When this debate begins you will be under no illusions as to the awesome power that the combined forces of all anime movies ever made hold within them - ha-ha!"
*Pro-An Spokesperson's eyebrow twitches for nearly fifteen minutes. No-one moves*
Anti-An Spokeperson : "Errrmmm... Should we come back later?"
Pro-An Spokesperson : "HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"
Anti-An Spokesperson : "-Dude, what are you doing?"
Pro-An Spokesperson : "-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Anti-An Spokesperson : "Screw this, let's go hit the buffet table."
Posted by: Dill The Devil at February 26, 2008 11:47 AM
Mmmkay twig. So if I buy the "Classic Collection" boxset (with all the money I currently don't have) - containing volumes Impure Souls, Blood Brothers, Search And Destroy and Eternal Damnation will that do it? I am now afraid of being swindled into watching something sub par.
All this talk of anime has got me itching to head home. Maybe I could just call in sick tomorrow and spend the day watching Full Metal Alchemist instead of working?
Posted by: Alex the Odd at February 26, 2008 11:48 AM
Hah! Dill that's freaking superb.
Posted by: Alex the Odd at February 26, 2008 11:50 AM
Interesting that with all the fans here, no one is really in a lather about Ninja Scroll. I'm not, either, besides in a general "I hate remakes" kind of way. It's a decent action flick, and semi-iconic due to its age, but hardly sacred. Now, if they ever touch my beloved Revolutionary Girl Utena, I will personally kill someone. That is not a joke.
And yes, ScarletKnight, there was one called Fist of the North Star (actually a movie and a series). It's pretty much a vastly bloodier version of Dragonball Z. Pretty good, if that's your thing, but if it's not, don't bother.
Posted by: Todd at February 26, 2008 11:52 AM
*takes a bow*
Much appreciated.
Posted by: Dill The Devil at February 26, 2008 11:53 AM
I am not pleased that Hollywood is attempting a Marley and Me movie since I still get absolutely blubbery thinking about the book.
Granted, I'm the proud mother of two vertically-challenged daughters with extreme hirsutism and speech impediments, but I don't see how anyone--dog lover or not--couldn't melt over this book.
I know that it will be turned into some slapsticky piece of commercial goo. And casting Clavicle Cathy as Marley's "mom" disgusts me.
Posted by: superEdna at February 26, 2008 11:53 AM
Oh, and I want a whiskeybabyninjastar tshirt. now.
Posted by: superEdna at February 26, 2008 11:54 AM
Oh my god how could I have been so careless, if you like Mecha let me also recommend for those of you with lots and lots of time in you hands, Robotech (at least the Macross and Masters Sagas).
The other favorite of mine is Mobile Suit Gundam Wing.
PS: this is for those who are interested I'm not gonna try to convince any of the haters, you've cast your lot and now you'll deal with the consequ..err ..*cough* I respect your right not to like Anime.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 26, 2008 11:56 AM
Alex;
That is not the one you want. This is the first disc of Hellsing: Ultimate, and I can't vouch for more than like, the first few episodes (still catching up with all that money I don't have, either) but it is supposedly more true to the manga and I can guarantee that the "Classic Collection" starts out good but ends up sucking like a Hoover.
Posted by: twig at February 26, 2008 11:59 AM
Here's the friggin' thing about Ren Fairs - you go to one of those things and there are some seriously disturbed people there, doing WHATEVER the hell they want and it's okay. Why? Well because it's the fucking RenFEST! DER!
Last time I went to one of them things, there was a drunk feller dressed as Robin Hood yelling incoherently about cheese; a sweaty, giant of a man dressed in all leather, yet not enough leather where I could still see seventy-five percent of his ass and half a sac; a group of merry whatthefucks bickering about leather-mug mead (i.e. warm MGD); and a dirty hippie-type juggling one of them goddam stick thingys, wearing what can only be described as a filthy pair of granny-panties.
And that's just the tip of the iceberg folks. As the day went on, the crazies just got crazier. About midway through the day I realized I could drop my pants, take a dump on the dusty street and nobody would bat a friggin' eyelid. I could saunter around with a ferret tethered to my weiner, proclaim myself to be in "character" and people would line up to get a friggin' picture.
There are NO laws come the RenFest, and that being said, I hope Ms. Lohan finds a "character" who spends ninety percent of the film topless and slathered in barbecue sauce.
Let me know who wants a WBNS! graphic. All I want in return is a ziploc bag containing a swatch of hair and a couple baby teeth. Either that or a t-shirt. If someone can actually pull this off, let me know what format you want it in and assuming that person is screenprinting, how many colors you're comfortable working with (four shades right now). I picture it being used on onesies and bibs thoughout the nation...
Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at February 26, 2008 11:59 AM
I have to say that I gave anime more than a fair shot. And, in the end, I'll admit to enjoying Death Note and Full Metal Alchemist, quite a bit in the case of the latter. However, both titles have in spades the subtlety that is sorely lacking in just about every other title of the genre. I don't understand why nearly every female can only communicate in abrasive screeches ... and how many chosen ones can one universe contain? This doesn't even mention the creepy, deadened eyes that have already been addressed above.
I still say that Evangelion is a prime example of the writer of a great story gettin' lost in his own grandeur. Full Metal Panic is a total rehash of every anime title that came before, and come to think of it, after. And also? The underlying premise of Gunslinger Girls -- at least the episodes I could sit through -- (literally) mindlessly obedient prepubescent girls infatuated with their adult male "watchers" is just abhorrent.
Don't get me wrong, I realize that most of everything I love was in some way influenced by anime; Buffy, Kill Bill etc. and truly appreciate their origins. But ... seriously? The only cure for the Spirited Away curse was true love? REALLY? Not even Professor Frink bought that crap when he was trying to find the secret ingredient in the Flaming Mo.
Posted by: jason at February 26, 2008 12:00 PM
Dill: superb indeed, although next tim,e don't forget to add the power-up sequence which will take about,...mmmm... 5 to 6 episodes.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 26, 2008 12:01 PM
"Marley & Me" could be directed by Paul Haggis and star Danny Bonaduce and it would still be box office gold. There's such a built-in audience for it. People who haven't read a book since they had to write a book report on "The Red Badge of Courage" in seventh grade just LOVE "Marley & Me."
Second the advice to see "Grave of the Fireflies" even if you hate anime. My ex stole it (along with pretty much all my DVDs) last summer and I'm still pissed at him for that.
"Coraline" has the potential to be a MUCH better movie than "Stardust." "Stardust" is OK and I actually preferred the movie to the book, but "Coraline" freaks adults right the hell out. Kids seem to take it more in stride.
Posted by: Wednesday at February 26, 2008 12:01 PM
Now, if they ever touch my beloved Revolutionary Girl Utena, I will personally kill someone. That is not a joke.
O.o Utena fan? Utena fan?!
*secret handshake*
Posted by: twig at February 26, 2008 12:04 PM
I could saunter around with a ferret tethered to my weiner
Now see, Skit, this is something I've always imagined to be part of your daily routine.
I fucking adored Stardust, so I can't wait for Coraline. I've only recently discovered the glory that is Gaiman, I read Good Omens a few months ago and just recently finished salivating at the awesomeness of Neverwhere.
Posted by: Julie at February 26, 2008 12:07 PM
Thanks twig, I realise I could have googled it but that would have just been waaay too much effort.
I think perhaps I will start myself off on the Hellsing manga, I've been on a western comic-book kick at the moment so it'll be a nice break for me. Plus: cheaper!
Any other recommendations while I'm here and in a listening mood?
Posted by: Alex the Odd at February 26, 2008 12:08 PM
As far as Anime goes, I saw "Akira", thought it was good, but I just can't get into it. To everyone that's been dropping the sports references, right on. It's just... I just don't like it.
I don't like beets either. It doesn't matter how they're cooked, who's doing the cooking, where they were grown, or what they accompany. I just don't like them, and I can say the same for Anime. Nothing agaist those who dig it, it just aint my cup o'tea...
Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at February 26, 2008 12:11 PM
ATO, if you're feeling like a visually satisfying bit of anime archweirdness, have a look at FLCL. It makes precisely ZERO sense, but is beautifully executed.
Posted by: jeem at February 26, 2008 12:12 PM
"...there was a drunk feller dressed as Robin Hood yelling incoherently about cheese; a sweaty, giant of a man dressed in all leather, yet not enough leather where I could still see seventy-five percent of his ass and half a sac; a group of merry whatthefucks bickering about leather-mug mead (i.e. warm MGD); and a dirty hippie-type juggling one of them goddam stick thingys, wearing what can only be described as a filthy pair of granny-panties..."
----------------------------------------------
Sounds like thanksgiving at Slim Manor....
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 26, 2008 12:14 PM
Skittimus Hmm. I can't speak for other RenFests, but the Maryland RenFest is quite awesome. It has been a few years since my last visit, but you don't have to be a RenFest geek to have a good time. And I truly do not recall seeing the same level of freak that you describe. Maybe the occasional overzealous fan of the time period, but nothing as crazy as your experience.
Perhaps we can organize a Pajiba field trip to the Maryland Renaissance Festival in the fall?
Posted by: tamatha at February 26, 2008 12:15 PM
Unless they've changed their minds, that Ren Faire movie is being shot in the shitty county in California where I used to live (and work at a shitty newspaper). The place is basically BFE, and people all have their panties in a bunch because they're so excited that "big-name stars" will be descending on their little corner of hell on earth. One thing I found funny, though, was that when they initially decided to film there, the producers were struggling with where to put up the movie's stars, since there's not a decent hotel closer than an hour away. Ha.
I am one of those folks that accepts that there are some people that don't like anime. Hey, that is your deal, not mine. What is annoying is when said people use their dislike to insult those who DO like it. Not saying anyone in particular here has done it, just saying that it is unfair when it happens. If you hate hearing how much you suck because you don't like anime, what makes you think that the anime fans want to hear your denigrating it and them?
Also, if your "friends" had to force you to watch anime, and they still can't accept your difference of opinion, then they aren't your friends. They are being asshats who are ruining the experience and are probably coloring your perceptions. I know I hate movies by a certain director (whose initials also stand for material used to wipe one's ass), and 60% of that hate stems from folks trying to force me to like them.
While such disdain for anime does initially get to me, I remember that I am not trying to have sex with Dustin et al., so I stop caring immediately.
But I must warn BarbadoSlim:
Dill: I respectfully recommend Witch Hunter Robin and Samurai Champloo both short series (you can Torrent thess BTW), there's the obligatory COwboy Bebop AND the alternate Ghost in the Shell series Stan Alone Complex and 2nd Gig.
If I ever meet you, I am going to mount you. Just saying.
Alex, well, you are already aware of my feelings towards you. But my love, take the plunge. Watch the show. You know you want to. Just do it. You will feel so much better.
Posted by: Vermillion at February 26, 2008 12:19 PM
But Skittimus that's the BEST part of going to Ren Faires, the people watching! I never laugh so much in my life and I am a self professed nerd. I like Star Trek, Ren Faire type things and I love me some anime. Our annual Ren Faire is going to be in a week or two. Pirates, wenches, elves, beer and dirt!
To whomever mentioned Urotsukidoji though... wow... mercifully I had forgotten that one, until now... thanks!
To those of you thinking about Grave of the Fireflies, be ready to bawl your eyes out. I decided to finally watch it after being warned by someone else that I should be prepared for some sadness. Thay were so horribly right! It is a great movie but definitely don't go into it expecting something like Mononke or Spirited Away.
Posted by: CherryPie at February 26, 2008 12:21 PM
Oh, well said Sarah - you took every point I would have made about anime and summed it up in a nice, concise comment. Seriously, I just can't figure out what people see in it, and I've tried. I really have. But I think I would rather sit through any torture porn film instead of even the opening credits of anything anime.
Only the thought of Matt Damon can cheer me after that last sentence... hurrah for the Bourne films!
Posted by: Ambiepony at February 26, 2008 12:21 PM
Perhaps we can organize a Pajiba field trip to the Maryland Renaissance Festival in the fall?
I'll go, but only if I can eat a turkey leg the size of a baby and talk like an asshole.
"Sweet maiden of the spit, grant now my boon, that I might sup on suckling pig this noon."
Posted by: Julie at February 26, 2008 12:22 PM
Wow, I had no idea there were so many Anime fans in here. For me, I can take it or leave it. But Twig, I think Tokyo Godfathers is awesome. I'm pissed that they didn't show it this year on tv/cable.
I've seen a few episodes of Cowboy Bebop & Bleach, and they're not bad. The thing about anime....well, anime guys are hot. At least I thought so when I was little. Take that for what you will.
Posted by: Brie at February 26, 2008 12:24 PM
I've been to my share of Ren-fests and came up with one simple solution. Ren-fest is just a society of travelling carni's that didn't get to go to college and major in theatre...and aren't mechanically incline enough to operate a tilt-a-whirl.
As for Anime'. I just can't get past the creepy pedophilesque representation of women. You know, they make pron with actual real live women, and sometimes better plots. Maybe it's just a fetish I don't get.
Posted by: Max at February 26, 2008 12:26 PM
I loved Coraline. It's one of the first Neil Gaiman books I read. I WANT to like this movie. Visually, it's already very close to what I imagined as I read it.
BUT...
Why, why, WHY did they have to get Dakota Fanning and Teri (fucking) Hatcher for Coraline and the Other Mother?! I'm not particularly bothered by the fact that they've chosen American actors for the voices, but there is absolutely nothing appealing about either of those actresses in those roles. I can't imagine Hatcher pulling of the menace of the Other Mother. And Dakota Fanning is just SO ubiquitous.
Sigh...
I'll probably see it, love what I'm WATCHING, but cry on the inside as I listen to it.
Posted by: KatyBelle at February 26, 2008 12:26 PM
When I was in college I think I was forced to watch Ninja Scroll at least 1/2 a dozen times. The name rings a bell. Is it the one with the creepy sexual stuff? I remember a grotesque forcible finger banging scene and very unpleasant sort-of-rape-from-behind of what appeared to be an under age girl scene as well. Does that scound like Ninja Scroll or were my friends just bigger perverts than usual?
Posted by: Elle at February 26, 2008 12:27 PM
If I ever meet you, I am going to mount you. Just saying.
Posted by: Vermillion at February 26, 2008 12:19 PM
*BarbadoSlim diary entry: Feb. 26 2008*
...after reading Vermillion's post I felt disturbed, jolted, scared....yet, a little curious.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 26, 2008 12:28 PM
Brie, I had a sexual crush on both Prince Charming from Sleeping Beauty and Buddy Blue from Rainbow Brite when I was a kid...I blame the asbestos in my grade school's chocolate milk.
Posted by: Julie at February 26, 2008 12:28 PM
RE "Someone should take that woman's vagina away from her. She doesn't deserve it."
Agreed.
Posted by: Slash at February 26, 2008 12:28 PM
I don't exactly NOT like sports - I friggin' LOVE the Olympics. I guess I just don't dig the high exposure, insane salaried sports... Unless the game's really close. And I'm drunk with a plate of nachos in front of me.
And I'm sorry, but fuck beets. Just can't do 'em.
Hope we can still be pals, though. If not, I'll put all your stuff in a box and leave it on the side of the garage. I'm keeping the letter-jacket though... It smells like you.
I just fucking gagged a litle...
Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at February 26, 2008 12:29 PM
…well, anime guys are hot.
Oh, Brie.
Oh, oh, Brie.
You've never heard of yaoi, have you?
Posted by: jeem at February 26, 2008 12:30 PM
ps. As for anime, it's a guilty pleasure of mine. Loved Witch Hunter Robin, Inu Yasha and Full Metal Alchemist. I LOVE anything by Hayao Miyazaki. But I'm not one of those crazy people who go to conventions dressed as Sailor Moon (side note: there was a boy in my high school Fashion Studies class who did exactly that. Complete with the huge blonde wig. He was a little weird.) I know most people in North America aren't crazy about it, so I don't really talk about it unless it gets brought up by someone else.
Posted by: KatyBelle at February 26, 2008 12:31 PM
Tamantha-
I go to the Maryland Ren Fest just about every other year. I really only go for the Turkey Leg though. But, it is a good time.
And on that subject...Dustin, I am going to go out on a limb here and sacrifice myself by saying I think you may have been a jot too hard on Owen and Lindsay. The Ren Fest movie sounds like it has some potential to be funny to me (in a Best in Show kind of way...if that makes any sense). Marley and Me was a NYT Best Seller, I think, so tons of people have read that book (including myself) and enjoyed the hell out of it. Part of the enjoyment came from being able to picture my own goofy dog doing the same things as Marley, which isn't saying much, but people love their pets and are probably going to take their families to this movie to show their kids the same similarities I noticed. I am wagering that this will, in fact, have a large box office draw. I believe I will have to give both movies a shot. Now speaking of shot, please don't shoot me!
Posted by: Helcat at February 26, 2008 12:32 PM
"When I was in college I think I was forced to watch Ninja Scroll at least 1/2 a dozen times. The name rings a bell. Is it the one with the creepy sexual stuff? I remember a grotesque forcible finger banging scene and very unpleasant sort-of-rape-from-behind of what appeared to be an under age girl scene as well. Does that scound like Ninja Scroll or were my friends just bigger perverts than usual?"
Honestly? That may have just described any one of about a million animes.
Posted by: Alex the Odd at February 26, 2008 12:33 PM
[i]He's doing a goddamn dog movie, which is a brilliant fucking idea because, in the history of studio films, there is exactly zero decent ones (don't even try to suggest Turner and Hooch) that didn't involve the near death of Danny Pintauro.[/i]
Uhhhh......Frankenweenie?
Posted by: Sirkckyass at February 26, 2008 12:35 PM
You've never heard of yaoi, have you?
That isn't something in the vein of hentai is it? Because I'm still disturbed from Googling that.
:sobs:
Posted by: Julie at February 26, 2008 12:36 PM
Julie I get the feeling you blame that asbestos for a lot of things. Oh and I'm glad you've discovered the awesomeness of Gaiman. Have you tried Terry Pratchett, while you're in the "Good Omens" neighbourhood?
Posted by: joker at February 26, 2008 12:38 PM
Jesus fucking Christ - are you people even speaking English anymore? I swear, Anime talk makes me dizzy, and I actually like some of it.
Yeah, I'm grouchy today too. What of it?
Posted by: TK at February 26, 2008 11:15 AM
I heartily concur. I think I fell asleep at one point while scrolling through the comments. People talking about anime does the exact same thing to my brain as when people talk about football. It's not that I hate it, it's just my apathy runs so deep that I can't even be bothered to learn what the terms mean, so I just kind of fade out when people talk about it.
Um, Dustin, isn't Because of Winn Dixie your number 10 best kids movie of all time? Isn't that (ostensibly) a dog movie?
Ohh, snap!
If I ever meet you, I am going to mount you. Just saying.
How much do I drink for a -- well, not a threat, really -- an announcement of pending involuntary sexual congress between commenters? (That's not blocked, is it?)
And here I thought the issue that might drive Pajiba toward civil war would be something along the lines of Star Wars vs. Blade Runner or Star Wars vs. The Lord of the Rings. But it's Anime? Madness!
See, this is like everyone thinking the U.S. Civil War was fought over slavery, when it was actually fought over tariffs, states' rights, and economic power. 200 years from now, people will be like, wow, that Pajiba Civil War ended the oppression of Blade Runner nerds under the tyranny of Star Wars geeks, when in fact the war was all about a mutated yellow kitten flying through the air with a sword for several hours while never actually hitting its opponent.
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at February 26, 2008 12:39 PM
Again: I'm sorry about the whole "introducing people to Hentai via the means of google on their work computers" thing. Really. I am.
Honest.
Yaoi is a whole lot less disturbing Julie. It's OK.
My friend Cas looks positively bishie - right down to the hair. It's fun. Sometimes I go and visit him at work just to look at him. He's so pretty it's painful.
Although I have been forbidden from wearing my hair in certain styles by my housemates - apparently it makes me look like an anime character and is downright creepy. I have no comment on the matter.
Posted by: Alex the Odd at February 26, 2008 12:42 PM
I'm sorry, Julie, but yes, yaoi is related to hentai.
*gives Julies a big reassuringly-chaste bear hug, no tentacles, I promise*
Posted by: jeem at February 26, 2008 12:42 PM
Joker, I have to blame something on my mental shortcomings, I can't face the fact that I may indeed just be psychotic. Good Omens is still the only book I've read by Pratchett, I need to pick up some of his stuff at the library. :)
And HEY, aren't I still mad at you for cancelling our Scrabblesexcation? >:(
Posted by: Julie at February 26, 2008 12:44 PM
"When I was in college I think I was forced to watch Ninja Scroll at least 1/2 a dozen times. The name rings a bell. Is it the one with the creepy sexual stuff? I remember a grotesque forcible finger banging scene and very unpleasant sort-of-rape-from-behind of what appeared to be an under age girl scene as well. Does that scound like Ninja Scroll or were my friends just bigger perverts than usual?" -Elle
Yep, that's the one.
Posted by: Cady at February 26, 2008 12:44 PM
Soon to be released Pajiba Anime titles (direct to DVD)
Pajiball Z
Ghost in the Pajiba
Pajiba Scroll
Sailor Pajiba
Full Metal Pajibamist
Hellpajiba
Final Pajiba VII: Advent Pajiba
Inupajiba
Pajibatech
Princess Pajibanoke
Miayazaki's Pajiba'd Away
Howl's Moving Pajiba
Unfortunately all of the above releases will hate themselves for being anime and will throw themselves over a waterfall in a slow motion shot while their spurned love watches from a mountain top and his four foot long ponytail dances in the wind.
when in fact the war was all about a mutated yellow kitten flying through the air with a sword for several hours while never actually hitting its opponent.
:dies laughing:
Hee, AtO, I forgive you...I'm actually glad I'm aware of tentacle porn, I always thought cephalopods didn't get enough play.
Posted by: Julie at February 26, 2008 12:48 PM
ATO, may I please join you? I would like very much to look at the pretty boy.
Manny: Don't forget Cowboy Pajibop.
Posted by: jeem at February 26, 2008 12:49 PM
I'd just like to say that Ninja Scroll is the worst fucking thing in the history of the universe. I saw it when I was 14, and I thought it was the most misogynistic piece of overblown, oversexed, shit this side of Fox News. I watched it up until something like the FOURTH rape sequence that was played for titillation. I seriously wanted to cock slap who ever the fuck decided that it was a good idea to produce that tripe.
PS. Although I do have a fondness for both Spirited away and princess Mononononononononoke, I do admit that 90% of anime is complete utter tripe and I'd rather shove a pick axe through my scrotum than have to sit through it. The Fuckin' hair man. Jesus.
Posted by: Hellajet at February 26, 2008 12:52 PM
Um... I may be mistaken, but...[whispers] is Vermillion hitting on BarbadoSlim?
I can vouch for the Hellsing manga being completely and utterly badass. It may be the only shonen series I've ever been able to get into, as it still does the 'I'm going to kick your ass hur hur' buildup but then it delivers. It overdelivers. It's also horribly violent and possibly grossly insensitive and there's enough blood to make an abbatoir feel underdressed... but damn, it's cool.
BSlim already mentioned Witch Hunter Robin. I'd say, for a completely different experience from Hellsing, I really did like Haibane Renmei, although it is rather slow and 'artsy.'
Last Exile has some of the best worldbuilding I've seen in a story, but it ultimately fails to deliver. The first seventeen or so eps I'd still reccommend.
I can't shut up. It's anime, and I can't shut up.
Posted by: twig at February 26, 2008 12:58 PM
Yes, yes he is.
I know TK. I know.
I thought I was special but OH NO. Apparently geekiness from either gender works just fine on V. I feel so used.
And also: relieved.
Posted by: Alex the Odd at February 26, 2008 12:58 PM
Pleased to meet you, twig.
Posted by: Todd at February 26, 2008 1:00 PM
[Whispers back, sobbing], he totally did...
*cue in music from shower scene from The Crying Game as Slim slowly slides down the tub*
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 26, 2008 1:00 PM
I'm literally drooling over the Coraline trailer. Could it be perhaps the greatest film pairing of all time? The guy who did Nightmare Before Christmas taking that style to Neil Gaiman? There's a chance that I'm baking on.
And it's in 3-D. It's like the holy trinity of filmmaking. Only not at all, since there's more than three points of awesomeness (techincal term, naturally) to Coraline.
Lost in all the Anime war (I liked Howl's Moving Castle and Robin Witch Hunter) is the feeling of OMG! Coraline is almost done!!!
but "Coraline" freaks adults right the hell out.
Nightmares folks, fucking nightmares after I read it with my kid....not him, me.
But why must it be in 3D? I hate 3D.
Posted by: Jules at February 26, 2008 1:17 PM
Lordy, look at what's become of poor B-Slim. And Alex, don't fret kiddo, I'm sure there are plenty of other internet stalkers out there for you.
If it'll make you feel better, I'll start waxing poetic about dyed hair and tattoos just so you don't feel neglected. But... um... I can only do it for a bit, because I'm having dinner with Mrs. TK tonight, OK?
Oh, make no mistake folks. What I feel for Alex is pure, unadulterated romantic Lord Byronish LOVE with a capital OVE. Yes, there may be some things that normal people will deem "freaky" or "twisted" or even "My God, I didn't know the human body could do that without a lack of ligaments". But that kind of stuff is okay between two people in a committed relationship. And if certain other geeky girls wish to join in at the same time, well, I think I can endure.
BarbadoSlim, on the other hand, will be, as best as I can put it, a hatefuck combined with animalistic instinct. I won't like you before, and I damn sure will be willing to spit on you after, but some things are just gonna happen, and you should just like back and enjoy it. Even though I won't really care if you do.
So no, I didn't hit on him, I basically confessed to premeditating a felony upon his quivering form.
Aaaaaaand that is when the po-lice and the men in the white van came for me. Tootles!
Posted by: Vermillion at February 26, 2008 1:26 PM
[jaw drops]
I do believe I've learned more than I needed to about Vermillion today. Boy is clearly more fucked up than I thought.
Jeremy - that rocks! I want your version t-shirt for certain...I'm not even jealous (well, sorta, you're good) but it's like I try to tell my partner - there's a difference between illustration and design - design communicates and illos demonstrate...and you are a far better designer than I'll ever be! I am more likely to eventually produce the Pajiban Where's Waldo, though...(heh - that'd be good...all drunk and no clue what we look like...we just locate the zombie hordes, place Vermillion and work backwards seeking be-tattoo'd hotties, sultry librarians and the like...)
Posted by: Replica at February 26, 2008 1:31 PM
*re-cue that Crying Game bit*
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 26, 2008 1:34 PM
Are we to assume that Milo and Otis doesn't qualify as a dog movie? Or Homeward Bound?
Posted by: Kevin Longrie at February 26, 2008 1:36 PM
I'm not sold on Coraline. I'm not super-familiar with Neil Gaiman, but I really liked the book Good Omens and HATED the movie Mirrormask with a passion. So while this looks kind of cool, I have my doubts.
As for SaTC, I guess the one good thing about it is everytime you tell a cute boy that yes, you hate it too and no, you don't understand why every other girl in the world loves it, they think you're awesome.
Posted by: lola o at February 26, 2008 1:38 PM
Or Homeward Bound?
Listen, can we really not talk about Homeward Bound... you know, at the end, when the golden retriever limps over the hill...
*meep*
Excuse me, I have something in my eye.
Posted by: twig at February 26, 2008 1:45 PM
Oh Julie baby, I was wrong about that, I shouldn't have walked away from our beach...I was just really stressed, I didn't mean to bring up the H-A-M. I promise this time, it will be just you and me, a lovely beach, sushi, exotic fruits and a Scrabble board. How's that?
We should do a comment diversion "Marry, fuck, kill" other commenters. Or would that be too weird?
Posted by: joker at February 26, 2008 1:50 PM
Pajiba dog hating asshattery aside, here's THE definitive dog movie list:
1. Air Bud
2. Air Bud: Golden Receiver
3.Air Bud Sventh Inning Fetch
*How can you ignore Air Bud World Pup an Spikes Back you ask? 'Cause this is my list bubba and they didn't make the cut.
4. Son of Lassie (Lassie Come Home was lame)
5. Independence Day (it wasn't about the dog, riiiight)
6.K-9 in spite of Jim Belushi
7.The Retrievers aka Golden Retriever Porn
8. Oh Heavenly Dog (if there's a more incestuous yet tender presentation of cat/dog love I've yet to see it)
9. Top Dog (Chuck Norris 'nuff said)
10.The Buccaneer (we all know why, so there's no need to explain that one)
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 26, 2008 1:52 PM
Replica-
Personally, I want a T-shirt with both yours and Jeremy's WBNS images! That's why shirts have a front and a back.
I love them both!
Posted by: tamatha at February 26, 2008 1:52 PM
"Bite me, Frodo!....Community theater reject!!"
Ah, Frank.
Yeah, what he said, the long "O" word, I just call it "Overfiend", that's what I was talking about last week. Terrifying.
I watched "Robotech" every day on my local UHF. It was a great soap! Particularly the Rick Hunter phase, but I loved Scott and his bike too back on the planet (that bike was a nice, sturdy toy as well). I don't know that GI Joe and Transformers ever copped to stealing that red and white F-14 design (at least I *think* Macross did it first). Thanks for reminding me.
Julie, I can't recommend "American Gods" enough (along with its sorta sequel "Anansi Boys"). I can't guarantee that *you'll* like them, but I adore them. Somewhere within www.neilgaiman.com (a pretty amusing blog he keeps there) is an audio recording of him reading his Cthulhu story "Shogoff's Old Peculiar" and it's, as they say, a hoot.
Slim, you left out Eight Below, in which a pack of huskies out-acts Paul Walker.
My in-laws have discovered that DVD is a safe way to go in gift-giving for me, BUT they have not connected that you can't just buy something remotely connected to something in my life. Over the past three birthdays and Christmases, I have received, among other worthless videos, a string of Air Bud DVDs, while Knocked Up, Superbad, Kicking & Screaming, and the Kids in the Hall and Monty Python super-collections lie moldering in my Amazon wish list. Bwuh. Take a hint, people!
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at February 26, 2008 1:58 PM
Ahhh Joker...all is right with the world now.
We should do a comment diversion "Marry, fuck, kill" other commenters. Or would that be too weird?
And I would totally same-sex marry you...as for fuck and kill, they go pretty much hand in hand and there are too many commenters to list :p
Jay: I did read American Gods, I totally forgot about that one! I really enjoyed it, though my favorite will always be Neverwhere...Misters Croup and Vandemar scared the crap out of me.
Posted by: Julie at February 26, 2008 2:01 PM
V, dude, TMI!!!
Ahem.
Can we not talk about good dog movies? Like Homeward Bound. Or All Dogs Go To Heaven?
Sniff....
Milo and Otis is not a good dog or cat movie. I hate that movie.
Posted by: Melody at February 26, 2008 2:02 PM
Re: SATC, "...every other girl in the world loves it..." - lola o
That is an egregious lie. I am a girl, and I hate that show. The "star" dresses like a lunatic, passive-aggressively whines her way through her financially irresponsible life and emotionally manipulates nearly everyone she meets. She's stupid to boot, and her idiot girlfriends are no better. The show is funny if you're drunk with your friends and laughing about how ridiculously offensive the characters are, but that's not exactly a compliment, now is it?
Julie don't forget the taco dip! (I swear, I can't say those words without cracking up. I'm 12!) And yea, I'd totally marry you too...although I think the "fuck, kill" would also be involved somehow. ...yea, this isn't weird at all.
"Neverwhere" is definitely my favourite Gaiman. I just love every character in it. Hunter especially. So cool. I can't help but think that if/when Hollywood gets its greasy hands on it, they'll turn it into some fucking love story. *sigh*
Posted by: joker at February 26, 2008 2:11 PM
Jeepers, after slogging through the mess made by the anime circle jerk, I barely remember what the original article was about.
So pardon my ignorance, but could someone please explain the official definition of "anime"? Is it any and all animation produced in Japan? Because I am having a really hard time lumping Akira, Ghost in the Shell, Legend of the Overfiend, Sailor Moon, Porco Rosso and Princess Mononoke all in the same category.
Ren Faires are THE BEST. I haven't been to one in forever and a day, but what a truly awesome display of a little known and wacky-charming subculture. It's a cavalcade of geek cleavage; I've never seen more boobage on display in my life.
And wait, what's wrong with "The English Patient"?
Posted by: Alabamapink at February 26, 2008 2:11 PM
Thank God I'm not the only one who didn't see the appeal of Sex and the City. There wasn't anything "empowering" about that show at all, all three women were grotesque examples of female stereotypes. And the fact that none of them were complete until they found "Mr. Right" was just as irritating. If they were SO fucking empowered, they wouldn't need a man to help them get over their neuroses.
Sarina, now more than ever, you are my hero!
Posted by: KatyBelle at February 26, 2008 2:14 PM
If I voice my opinions on "The English Patient" will you guys kick me out?
Posted by: Melody at February 26, 2008 2:15 PM
The show is funny if you're drunk with your friends and laughing about how ridiculously offensive the characters are, but that's not exactly a compliment, now is it?
So SATC doesn't moisten your panty-clover, Sarina? Do all the joyful leprechauns fly right back up your ass as soon as that haunting "da-da-da; da-da-da" starts?
'bama, the Pajiba overlords have decreed that The English Patient . . . um, what's the exact expression? "Licks Odin's taint," I believe was the phraseology.
[/steps back while that sinks in]
Slim's head is probably exploding right now as he finds himself in agreement with the Powers that Pajibee.
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at February 26, 2008 2:18 PM
Honestly, leave for a bit and everyone ends up watching BSlim and Vermillion in a tub full of KY. I mean what the hell. Someone should at least include a video link! Any word on the House of Vermillion sex tape series?
Posted by: ScarletKnight at February 26, 2008 2:22 PM
(looks up "Yaoi" after reading Jeem's comment)
Oh. So it's basically slash? Anime guys on top of each other...I'll have to think about that. Can't get into the hentai, though. Too freaky deaky even for my tastes.
And now I'm mixing up Yaoi with the Vermillion/BarbadosSlim thing. Now I feel corrupted.
Sarina, if it makes any difference, I used to to really like SatC. Before it was about shoes and puns, and all that materialistic crap, it was a decent show about relationships and had depth. Not a lot, but enough to keep my watching. Once it was considered a "cultural icon", it lost me.
Posted by: Brie at February 26, 2008 2:27 PM
So SATC doesn't moisten your panty-clover, Sarina?
Ha ha ha! I was wondering when the moistened panty clover was going to be reintroduced.
Joker, it's not weird at all, I always wanted an international internet girlfriend who loved the term taco dip :)
And I loved Hunter! God, that book was so incredible.
Honestly, leave for a bit and everyone ends up watching BSlim and Vermillion in a tub full of KY.
...why do the trade round-ups always descend into deviant sexual madness?
Posted by: Julie at February 26, 2008 2:27 PM
tamantha--you said it! I was totally picturing Replica's awesome design on the back, with Jeremy's design--small and subtle, yet ever so cool--over our hearts.
Posted by: MO at February 26, 2008 2:28 PM
Because it's funny Julie, that's why.
Posted by: KatyBelle at February 26, 2008 2:31 PM
So SATC doesn't moisten your panty-clover, Sarina? Do all the joyful leprechauns fly right back up your ass as soon as that haunting "da-da-da; da-da-da" starts?
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at February 26, 2008 2:18 PM
I am still awaiting confirmation regarding whether I shall require a stepstool and/or assistant for the liquor-dousing and flame-setting. You never did tell me how tall you are. I am 5'4" (if you round up a little) which is fairly tall for an accused leprechaun, but my reach is admittedly somewhat limited.
You may be interested to know I have reconsidered the use of tequila in said endeavour, however. I have concluded this would be a waste of perfectly drinkable liquor. I will instead douse you with TK's whiskey, as I do not care for whiskey and TK is, as luck would have it, temporarily blinded by dust in his eyes.
I haven't read it yet myself, but I'll take the glowing recommendations. Looks like the library ordered some nice new hardcovers too.
I'd rather watch "Sack Lunch" (I also only saw "Fargo" once and don't care about seeing that one again either. I don't know where this puts me on the Pajiba scale)
AlabamaPink - anime is pretty much a style of animation. The lumping together of things like Ghost in the Shell and DBZ and Miyazaki is exactly what annoys me about many people on here declaring they don't like anime. You can not like specific animes, but dismissing a whole technique (not genre people, it's not a freakin' genre) because you didn't like some examples of that technique is ridiculous. Arrgh. AAAAAaargh. (sorry, done now.)
Also - on the Gaiman front for those of you interested, he's putting up American Gods online for free sometime later in March I think. Because Neil Gaiman is ten kinds of awesome.
Posted by: s. pisaster at February 26, 2008 2:53 PM
Just so you know Jay, Neverwhere was actually a T.V. series FIRST, written by Neil Gaiman. Afterwards he wrote the novelization, which is actually my favorite of his books.
Posted by: KatyBelle at February 26, 2008 2:57 PM
I morph into Elaine at the mention of The English Patient...
Uh, no, I haven't seen it. So I can't tell you if it was good or if it SUCKED!
Posted by: numchuck at February 26, 2008 3:01 PM
Ah, didn't know it had the same kinda meandering life like "Stardust", not to imply the BBC would necessarily bastardize source material (as far as I know it's well regarded). The Hollywood movie's where it can go wrong. But then....will the proposed HBO "Preacher" miniseries be that much better than the "Watchmen" movie? I certainly *hope* so...but I shan't hope too hard.
Yeah, I didn't know it was originally a BBC series until I actually went to his website and was looking through his screenwriting credits. It was produced way back in the mid-90s, and was apparently fairly well-received. If they DO do a Hollywood remake, they probably will fuck it up and stick in a romantic story line for Door and Richard, which would be iffy to say the least.
Posted by: KatyBelle at February 26, 2008 3:11 PM
Just so you know Jay, Neverwhere was actually a T.V. series FIRST, written by Neil Gaiman. Afterwards he wrote the novelization, which is actually my favorite of his books.
EEEEEE!!! :queues it:
Posted by: Julie at February 26, 2008 3:14 PM
I know! And I STILL haven't seen it! I really need to get on the NetFlix train, huh?
Posted by: KatyBelle at February 26, 2008 3:17 PM
I don't know, twig - have you ever been thrown out of a Ren Faire for heckling the jousting knights a bit too much?
Cuz if not, then *I* must be the geekiest Pajiba.
Ren Faire and knight-heckling, a family tradition going on year #5 :).
Turkey legs for all!
PS I cried myself silly over Marley and Me but something tells me Hollywood is going to completely screw up the story (duh!)- it had moments of real sadness, *SPOILER* the author's wife's post partum depression being one example. Lawd a mercy, I wept.
Posted by: Stella at February 26, 2008 3:19 PM
'Pink- Of course! How could I have forgotten the cleavage?! In fact, that was the most glittering cleavage I have seen in one place in my entire life.
Also, I love the English Patient. I even purchased and read the book due to my love of the film. Screw the Pajiban Overlords and their lack of taste.
MO- glad you like the front-and-back idea, but I have to part ways with you on the "over our hearts" aspect (though I love the sentiment). I usually avoid such styles as it draws attention to the larger half of my bosom, and I think for balance, it's better for such things (like name tags) to be on the right side for me. Since we're speaking of cleavage.
Hmm, aaand now I've shared too much.
Posted by: tamatha at February 26, 2008 3:21 PM
Julie and Katybelle, before you get yourselves all worked up, you should know that the BBC Neverwhere is... well... low-budget would be a compliment. It looks like it was filmed in my basement using a cell phone. Mind you, the acting is decent, and Croup and Vandemar are done quite well, just don't expect a visual feast.
File it under "did the best they could with what they had". I mean, I like it enough to own it, so that's something, right?
I don't know, twig - have you ever been thrown out of a Ren Faire for heckling the jousting knights a bit too much?
Cuz if not, then *I* must be the geekiest Pajiba.
*sigh*
*hands over sparkly tiara*
Whee, turkey legs.
And you know, it might not be a favorite of most Pajibites, but some of the geek bits in 'Garden State' were classic.
Posted by: twig at February 26, 2008 3:29 PM
File it under "did the best they could with what they had". I mean, I like it enough to own it, so that's something, right?
Man, Gaiman gets that treatment a lot, as that's pretty much my view of 'Mirrormask'.
Posted by: twig at February 26, 2008 3:30 PM
PS I cried myself silly over Marley and Me but something tells me Hollywood is going to completely screw up the story (duh!)- it had moments of real sadness
Stella, all I can tell you is, don't ever listen to the audiobook of "Marley & Me" while driving. I had to pull the car over. Ahem, it was, of course, smoke from the engine getting in my eyes, I'm just saying that audiobook EMP'ed my car or something.
have you ever been thrown out of a Ren Faire for heckling the jousting knights a bit too much?
Is that your lance or is your horse just happy to see you?
Hey Prancelot! My neighbor called and wants his garbage cans and old tires back.
Hey Bilbo! Your wench just went to the parking lot with some conventioneers from Comic-Con!
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at February 26, 2008 3:30 PM
TK, it's a mid-nineties TV movie. What do you think I'm expecting? Lord of the Rings?
Posted by: KatyBelle at February 26, 2008 3:40 PM
Effects-wise that is.
Posted by: KatyBelle at February 26, 2008 3:41 PM
TK-that sucks, it's such an imaginative gorgeous book...I was actually aching for a film version while reading it, one made by someone with visual flair like Tim Burton or Guillermo Del Toro. I'll definitely watch it despite the low budget though.
Now I want to watch Stardust again.
Posted by: Julie at February 26, 2008 3:42 PM
Of course not, Katybelle, but you're not even going to get "bad sci-fi channel starring Judd Nelson" quality. It's that low-budget.
Like I said - it's absolutely worth seeing regardless. But I knew it was low-budget going in, and I was STILL somewhat taken aback.
Wow. Ok, now I HAVE to see it. Seriously. Low budget=many unintentional laughs. Plus, I LOVE that story, and I want to see decent actors overcome shoe-string budgets. Plus, it can't be much worse than the original BBC Chronicles of Narnia movie, with people in beaver costumes.
THANK YOU TK!!
Posted by: KatyBelle at February 26, 2008 3:59 PM
Plus, it can't be much worse than the original BBC Chronicles of Narnia movie, with people in beaver costumes.
:jaw drops open:
That might be the best image to ever pop into my head. I am floored.
Posted by: Julie at February 26, 2008 4:02 PM
HAHA! Unintentional pervy statements are a speciality of mine.
They're usually Freudian slips though.
Posted by: KatyBelle at February 26, 2008 4:06 PM
Ha ha ha! Katybelle I didn't even think of it that way, that's AWESOME.
I'm instead picturing Bill Der Beaver from Zoobilee Zoo escaping the Ice Queen. Heee.
Posted by: Julie at February 26, 2008 4:10 PM
A Zoobilee Zoo reference?!?!?!
Oh, Julie, your stock just flat-out fucking skyrocketed!!
You mean you WERE picturing that. Now you're picturing something COMPLETELY different. My work is done here.
Think 3rd-rate actors in bad Halloween costumes and face paint. And you've got it.
Posted by: KatyBelle at February 26, 2008 4:14 PM
I loved that BBC Chronicles of Narnia! In my defense, I think I was ten the summer it aired. My brother and I would go to our cousins' house in Blackrock and willingly stay inside to watch it, we loved it so much.
Now that I think about it, it's a fair bet that people in beaver suits messed my ten-year-old self up but good. It would explain a lot.
I used to have a blanket hate for all anime until my boyfriend forced me to watch Cowboy Bebop and I surprised myself by REALLY liking it.
That doesn't mean I like all anime now, though, far from it. It just made me realize that "anime" is just like any other genre which has good examples as well as bad ones. I don't think you should hate anime just because you don't like Miyazaki or Dragonball Z or whatever. There's some really good stuff you are missing out on by putting all anime in a box and saying "Well, it's all the same, it's all crap." Thinking all anime is like Dragonball Z is like thinking all American movies are like Epic Movie (or Date movie or any of those other horrible parody movies).
And just to put it out there I did like Princess Mononoke, but wasn't really big on Spirited Away. Also, I agree with whoever mentioned Grave of the Fireflies. It's the saddest movie you will ever see in your entire life-- animated, live action, I don't care, NOTHING compares. It's an absolutely beautiful and heartbreaking movie. More so because it's a true story and not some sci-fi made up in some crazy Japanese guy's mind.
Posted by: Emiline at February 26, 2008 4:18 PM
Oh my God, I had completely forgotten about Zoobilee Zoo! That show was so deeply weird. And now I have that song stuck in my head. Is that shit on Netflix? I think I need to watch it again. Preferably under the influence. It might even out-weird Salad Fingers, which is one of the most awesomely messed up things I've ever seen.
Ha ha ha! TK, that show fucking defines my childhood.
"I'm Van Gogh the Lion, just color me fun,
and you will shout Bravo once the show has begun..."
KatyBelle...ok, you got me :)
Posted by: Julie at February 26, 2008 4:23 PM
Sarina, don't get me wrong. I LOVED that when they aired it on YTV when I was little (in the early 90s) I watched it religiously every Christmas until I was about 10. Didn't watch it again for about 12 years, but I recently re-watched it with the kids at work and was shocked by how, not-good it actually is. Especially the beavers. If anything, it's because Mr. Beaver towers over the girls who played Lucy and Susan, and looks like he's going to a Halloween party. They should have just used puppets.
Posted by: KatyBelle at February 26, 2008 4:25 PM
ROBERT DOWNEY JR WAS NOT IN WONDERBOYS.
That was Michael Douglas and Toby Maguire. Jesus people!
Posted by: AlexaCastrate at February 26, 2008 5:17 PM
"Of course! How could I have forgotten the cleavage?! In fact, that was the most glittering cleavage I have seen in one place in my entire life."
Holy smack. How could I forget the glitter? Add to that woefully bad haircuts, out-of-date glasses, and pseudo-goth/medieval jewelry and you've got the Ren Faire Wench Squad. Ren Faires are the SatC for geek set.
Pshaw on "The English Patient" hate. See if I care how the Lords of the Pajiba feel about my love for sweeping historic/romantic films. So what if my weakness is watching beautiful people suffer so beautifully in beautiful locales. It makes me feel less pitiful when I shout out, "Yeah, FUCK YOU pretty people!" at the screen.
Posted by: Alabamapink at February 26, 2008 5:24 PM
ROBERT DOWNEY JR WAS NOT IN WONDERBOYS.
That was Michael Douglas and Toby Maguire. Jesus people!
Alexa, he actually was in it...he played Michael Douglas' gay editor :)
Posted by: Julie at February 26, 2008 5:31 PM
BAM!
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 26, 2008 5:32 PM
Um yeah. How could you miss out on the subplot where RBJ ends up in bed with Tobey Maquire?
Posted by: Alabamapink at February 26, 2008 5:41 PM
Some of us have legitimately given anime a try (I suffered through both Spirited Away and Princess Mononoke wondering when the hell I was going to start enjoying it), and though it may be difficult for some anime geeks to believe, some of us simply don't get it for the same reason that some avid baseball fans can't stand football.
I'll accept that some people legitimately don't like anime, but you seriously picked the wrong animes to watch. I watch alot of anime, but i hate every Miyazaki movie I've ever watched. Basing your entire opinion of anime on those movies is like seeing Crash because you were told that it was deep, or 27 Dresses because somebody told you it was sweet, and then refusing to ever watch a movie again!
Personally i mostly watch trashy action animes, because i love action and prefer series to movies, but action tends to be too expensive to do live action. Check out Ghost in the Shell (a superb action/semi-philsopohical movie) or Appleseed for its incredible set pieces (seriously, just watch the first 10 minutes and marvel at the CGI environments if nothing else). If you prefer series like me, check out Bleach or Naruto for trashy fare, or try Ergo Proxy, which is more arty adult stuff, but still very good.
As for stuff to avoid, if you want to watch mech stuff, watch Gundam, and avoid Evangelion like the plague (the only good thing to come out of that show was Cruel Angel Thesis, and if i am going to watch giant robots battle it out, don't make them have fucking power cords, that's just stupid!).
I'm going to stop there. Short answer: don't write anime off after watching the worst stuff in the medium!
Posted by: Chugga at February 26, 2008 5:48 PM
Pshaw on "The English Patient" hate. See if I care how the Lords of the Pajiba feel about my love for sweeping historic/romantic films.
My defense of this film was the subject of much guffawing by DR and the TV Whore.
Three words: Kristin Scott Thomas naked. (That's actually four words, but the "Kristin" part is in my mouth.) Get over your crush on that commitment-phobe Charlie, Fi, I'll be your man.
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at February 26, 2008 5:59 PM
Socalled: I'm not a fan of the movie but I'll give you that...Kristin Scott Thomas is so very pretty in The English Patient. She's almost glowy.
Posted by: Julie at February 26, 2008 6:01 PM
"....Three words: Kristin Scott Thomas naked...."
ARE YOU SHITTIN' ME!?!?!
*drops everything, cartoon style, drives to Blockbuster*
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 26, 2008 6:05 PM
Don't forget to throw in a few crustaches, AP.
I had a friend who worked in local theater and had friends who worked the "Ren Circuit". I had no idea such a thing existed, but oh yes, they Faire-d all around the country. Way of life, man. From what I gathered they also seemed to be boffing like nobody's business. But then, that's how it is with whale/wolfshirts playing Magic at the back of the student center with square rimless frames and neither person is too attractive and if you want to get an autograph at a convention (ie. George Lowe and Clay Croker) you feel like you're in line with the "I Like Santa" kid as she's singing "Brak's Hawaiian Vacation" to no one and everyone and then wonder if you're superior or just looking into a mirror when entering a comics store that puts out gaming tables and they're rollin dice and shoutin spells, but they're tearin each other up back home whereas I...am not.
So, fair play, as they say. But I just can't abide the crustaches. That shit is a choice, and a bad one.
Oh yea...I go off to the cinema for a few hours and I come back and Julie is of course talking about beavers. ...shocking. KatyBelle, please don't encourage her. You have no idea where she can take this.
I saw the Neverwhere BBC series and I just couldn't. I mean...fuck the acting or whatever, it was just messing up the images in my head and I had to stop watching somewhere around the Night Bridge. Yea I'm shallow.
Posted by: joker at February 26, 2008 6:13 PM
ARE YOU SHITTIN' ME!?!?!
*drops everything, cartoon style, drives to Blockbuster*
[/speaking to BarbadoSlim-shaped hole in door]
Yeah, extended bathtub scene with virtually full nudity. Admirable (and excited!) b-cups, with a lot of back-arching and languid laying back in the tub ....
Excuse me, back in a flash.
[another addition for the drinking game: any time someone excuses himself or herself to go scale the trouser trout or moisten the panty-clover]
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at February 26, 2008 6:30 PM
You people need HELP!
and i'm not talking about V and B-slim. Julie, Joker Katy and the beaver talk, Skit and his aversion to fucking with beets (the implication that fucking all other vegetables is up for grabs)...
No, I'm OK about that. But socalled. Damn you! Did we, or did we not agree that moist and all it's permutations is disgusting and icky.
Posted by: general rhubarb at February 26, 2008 7:51 PM
Wait, Lindsey Lohan is a squirter?
Posted by: Frank at February 26, 2008 7:53 PM
Did we, or did we not agree that moist and all it's permutations is disgusting and icky.
I'm quite sure that we did not agree to any such thing; in fact, I'm quite sure that all of you anti-moisters opened yourselves up to head noogies and Indian burns the moment you admitted such a weakness.
Besides, St. Paddy's day is coming. Winsome Irish lasses hereabouts will be talking about "wetting the shamrock" and "poking the potato" and other euphemisms for getting it on, so "moistening the panty-clover" will be quite useful.
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at February 26, 2008 8:39 PM
So I'm still allowed to talk about beaver suits?
Posted by: KatyBelle at February 26, 2008 8:51 PM
Oooooh - I like it. Sticking to the theme of shagging vegetables - especially root vegies.
And leave my head the hell alone! Noogie indeed! I hardly need a noogie as my head won't stop spinning after reading this. Stoopid thread.
Posted by: general rhubarb at February 26, 2008 8:57 PM
you forgot a really great "dog" movie--
"the year of the dog" with molly shannon...i'm guessing it was probably partly due to the success of that movie that the 'marley and me' was thought to be a good idea??!?
Posted by: maxpurr9 at February 26, 2008 9:01 PM
KatyBelle, of course you can! I had to Google Zoobilee Zoo though. Looks like I missed out on something special in my youth!
Posted by: general rhubarb at February 26, 2008 9:03 PM
socalled: Funny junk. First time I saw "The English Patient" in the theater, I remember leaning over to my mom during aforementioned nude scene and having the following discussion:
"Her nipples are weird."
"Yeah. But it's nice seeing a small-boobied woman for a change."
"But then, that's how it is with whale/wolfshirts playing Magic at the back of the student center..."
Omigosh Jay, you've just described Mr. Pink's roommate from our senior year in college. He was a Magick freak, selling and buying cards for hundreds of dollars. A real secret squirrel. Walked around campus in a long black trench and fedora with a Magick card stuck in the band. His voice was a dead ringer for Buffalo Bill's, and one morning when I called the room looking for Mr. Pink, Secret Squirrel answered to inform me that Mr. Pink wasn't there. So I asked him to say, "Was she a great big fat person?", and when he did, I cackled and hung up. In addition, he was a total cock, and we used to do annoying things to him when he wasn't around like rearrange his Magick card collection and leave notes written in runes or made-up Elvish shit on his desk.
Anyway, after college he shacked up with some "sexologist" woman in her sixties named Betty Somethingorother (She writes the sex column for BUST.) Salon wrote an article about their kooky little May-December romance where Secret Squirrel recounted how he was so attracted to Betty because she was way more mature sexually than girls his own age. This tickled me because I don't remember the honeys exactly lining up for a go with him in college. If I recall correctly his "girlfriend" at the time he lived with Mr. Pink was...um yeah.
Wow Jay, thanks for the trip down Smacktacular Memory Lane of college.
Posted by: Alabamapink at February 26, 2008 9:06 PM
YAY!! Thanks rhubarb!
Alabamapink, that is the best story ever. I bow before your superior evil genius.
Posted by: KatyBelle at February 26, 2008 9:10 PM
Not bothering to read through the hundreds of comments before me I just have to take this opportunity to say how much I, too (hopefully lots of you said the same), HATEHATEHATE anime. I have banned my children from watching it. As an "artist" (and I use the term loosely) it's the equivalent to letting an aspirin dissolve on my tongue. I've hated it my entire life. If Speedracer was the only cartoon on tv as a kid I would turn it off.
Lifelong Anime Hater (married to a recovering anime collector)
Posted by: jen at February 26, 2008 9:10 PM
I'm just curious... did Lohan invite a photographer inside her hotel room or something? Who was taking these pics? Maybe she's planning a "Chaotic"-style reality show... to serve as the nail in her coffin. Her actions are really crazy and hard to understand. I don't know what she's doing. Just a couple of days ago, I saw her on the celeb singles club http://MillMatch.com looking for nice guys. She posted a nice ablum there saying she need a new toy. Crazy!
Posted by: Cindy, NY/US at February 26, 2008 9:12 PM
Is "Marley and Me" about an upper-middle-class white couple who adopts a dog and names it Marley after Bob Marley? Because that shit is irritating.
As for SATC, I will admit that the show elicited a chuckle from me on occasion. That said, I remain floored by how racially/religiously offensive it could be. Every Jewish stereotype known to man trotted out when Charlotte converted? Check. Every creepy fantasy about black male sexuality drawn upon when Miranda dated her neighbor? Check. How could they possibly get away with that?
Posted by: samantha t at February 26, 2008 9:42 PM
Wait... when the...
When the fuck did I say something about having sex with a beet?
I don't even like beets!
What the hell has this thread become?
I. DO. NOT. MAKE. LOVE. TO. BEETS. PERIOD.
Now a supple, elegant eggplant on the other hand... Them's just jokes people. I could not, would not, with a kumquat. Yeah, it's a Dr. Suess reference, bitches...
Posted by: Skittimus version 2.0 at February 26, 2008 10:14 PM
Dearest Skittimus, of what do your after-dinner cocktails consist? I think I'd like to start having them for breakfast. I have a hunch they would exponentially improve the quality of my average workday.
No kidding. Maybe then I'd understand the psychology I'm supposed to be studying.
Posted by: KatyBelle at February 26, 2008 10:31 PM
It's his birthday this week, you know. Party at the library tomorrow night! Seussabration!
Posted by: Jay at February 26, 2008 10:32 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DR. SEUSS!
Posted by: KatyBelle at February 26, 2008 10:39 PM
And I'm sorry, but fuck beets. Just can't do 'em.
I present exhibit A. Written by Skit earlier in the thread (I think in response to TK breaking up with him - bizarrely!)
I'm just assuming, if you can't do beets, there are others of it ilk you can do.
Just sayin'
Posted by: general rhubarb at February 26, 2008 10:43 PM
I'm torn about SATC. I've seen the show in sanitized reruns, and I'm with samantha t. I thought a lot of it was offensive.
In particular, the episode with Eddie Cahill (Miracle, CSI:NY). Carrie is dating him, and she finds out he's bisexual. Of course, this leads to all of his friends being bisexual, and they want her to join in the fun.
Carrie and her friends end up discussing bisexuality, and it's dismissed as either "A stop on the way to gaytown," or "something all the kids are doing."
Man, I wish all the kids were doing it. It would sure as hell make me finding a date a lot easier. The episode ends with some weird party where they force Carrie to kiss Alanis Morisette. That isn't how it works. I got really irritated.
That said, I can't seem to stop watching it. It is like a train wreck. I'll probably see the movie, and I'm borderline ashamed of that fact.
Posted by: ashleigh at February 26, 2008 11:13 PM
"a film that introduced to me what having one's maidhenhead ripped apart must feel like"
Jesus. What the fuck was that? Metaphorical damage to the lady business? All violent and woman-hurty . . . very un-Dustin, very un-Pajiba . . . AND it's a typo . . . where am I?
Posted by: Lauren at February 27, 2008 12:21 AM
From the sounds of it, there's gonna be a lot of people fucking turkey legs around here. As for Skit, I'm sure he's paid the rest of y'all off so you won't talk about his pet cantaloupe, so I won't even bring it up.
Posted by: Kris at February 27, 2008 1:29 AM
"I suffered through both Spirited Away and Princess Mononoke wondering when the hell I was going to start enjoying it"
Fuck... You...
Posted by: Ken Hart at February 27, 2008 1:32 AM
Cantaloupe? The logistics of that intrigue/worry me. Skit, explanations are necessary.
Posted by: KatyBelle at February 27, 2008 2:28 AM
I would just like to say that I'm completely innocent in all this. I wasn't even aware that we were fucking vegetables now...not that I have anything against it, mind you. Katy and Julie went on some beaver rampage (involving taco dip-ping), then Skitt decided to fuck vegetables, there's also a gay porn being produced starring Verm and BSlim. I...don't know how this happened. I'm only in it for the Scrabble Sex...marshmallow-y giant scrabble sex.
Posted by: joker at February 27, 2008 5:07 AM
Ok, I realize I'm coming late to this thread (and that it has freaking exploded-what the hell is this about vegetables and clovers?), and that it is late and I won't be able to be as coherent as I would like, but...I just have to squee over all the fellow anime-dislikers. Thank you!
My friends have made me watch, over the course of five or six years: Spirited Away, Princess Mononononoke, My Neighbor Totoro (wtf, people), Howl's Moving Castle, Fruits Basket, Getbackers, Utena (both the entire freaking series and the mind melting movie), something about the people searching for the smell of watermelons or strawberries or something (Samurai Champloo?), and Gankutsuou, which I have to say was absolutely gorgeous, but...it's gorgeous, and then suddenly they're inside giant robots having a strange robot death match. What? So, in honor of that emperor of strangeness and pioneering illustration, a poem:
I do not like your anime,
I do not like it, take it away
I do not like it in an apocalyptic city,
I do not like it, despite the annoying blobby talking kitty
I do not like the horrible characters
I do not like it for many factors
I do not like the stupid yelling men
I do not like the stupid vapid women
I do not like your loop animation,
And no, it's not 'cause I'm not Asian
I do not like the quarter-of-an-hour-long intros,
The horrible fight scenes cause me to doze,
I do not think the 'chibis' are sooooooo cute,
If anything makes sense, it was probably a fluke
I do not like the facial expressions
Or the way the animators attempt to 'express' emotions
I do not like the rape/borderline rape 'love',
I do not like the BOOBS. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD THE BOOBS JESUS CHRIST IN A GRAVITY DEFYING BRA.
Ok, it kind got away from me at the end there. My point is, my friends didn't technically force me to watch these things. I maybe have this addiction problem with stories, so every time they say, "Let's watch (anime series with 45 episodes that will consist mainly of yelling and leaping through the air in between explaining our heroes' respective tragic backstories)!" I say, "Must we? Well, ok." And I don't like them. Over and over and over I don't like them. I don't like the way they portray women, I don't like the way they portray men, I don't like the animation style, I don't like the twee little animal side characters, I don't like the soap opera over-acting DRAMA. I've tried different kinds of animes. I've sampled from just about every platter that doesn't include animated muscular men and animated bodily fluids. And I know that a lot of people do like anime - hell, love it. I completely understand that. But I don't dislike anime because I haven't tried it enough. Believe me, I realize that all anime is not alike - except for the ways that it is. And I don't like any of those things. Anime just does not make me happy. The end.
P.S. I apologize for writing a book about this. On the plus side, at least I didn't whisper it to you, tearfully, in a blooming cherry tree orchard, while the wind whipped my eight foot long hair out behind me and a piano played softly in the background.
Posted by: BiblioGeek at February 27, 2008 5:33 AM
Heehee! BiblioGeek, I love it! And amen on the crazy boobs, they're almost as creepy as the eyes....argh, the eyes! The eerie way they blink!
*shudder*
Posted by: MO at February 27, 2008 5:50 AM
Weirdest thread...EVER.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 27, 2008 7:09 AM
After reading this thread, I'm having a difficult time deciding if I should be happy or sad that I was in Watertown, NY all day yesterday.
Reading comments (usually skip that) made me think that as a whole the subjects are very much anime.
Me, I like some of um, dislike some of um.
I think hate is a pretty overrated emotion, don't put much energy in that. Call me hippy if that's your judgement.
Just needed to uplift Akira back in the disussion. It is simple one of the best animated movies ever made, doesn't matter from what country or genre.
Watch it in Japanese, with the subs from the BBC. Much more subtle than american versions.
Mindblowing..
So just wanted to state my huge dissapointment that the remake is in the game, AND gets the "The-only-place-in-the-world-where-anything-happens-is-america" treatement.
Very sad.
Neo-Tokyo became Neo-NewYork.
*stares at screen for minutes, whondering what the hell there is to say more on this*
And going for the microwave in the dogmovie contest:
The Dog Problem.
Very nice little movie.
Even if the dog is just a McGuffin
Grtz from Amsterdam
Posted by: magiel at February 27, 2008 8:00 AM
Oh yea...I go off to the cinema for a few hours and I come back and Julie is of course talking about beavers. ...shocking. KatyBelle, please don't encourage her. You have no idea where she can take this.
Joker...I am going to sic a pack of rabid beavers on you.
Posted by: Julie at February 27, 2008 11:29 AM
Goddamit, Julie! Don't say things like that to me, I have an overactive imagination. Now I'm going to have nightmares about rabid beavers (I'm not talking about the animals!). Shiiite! Like I don't have enough mental problems.
Speaking of rabid beavers, did anyone see "Teeth"?
Posted by: joker at February 27, 2008 11:46 AM
Speaking of rabid beavers, did anyone see "Teeth"?
BWAAAA!!!! I just choked on my plum. Oh my god, you are my new favorite human.
And no, not yet :) Though when I was telling my friend Annabel about it she kept forgetting the name of the movie and instead calls it "Vagina Tooth." Which is infinitely better than "Teeth."
Posted by: Julie at February 27, 2008 11:56 AM
Well...Vagina Tooth is more succinct, I'll give her that. However it takes away the mystery. Like...teeth? huh? what's so scary about teeth? Ooooohh...THERE!
Hold on, I thought I already was your favourite human?!
Posted by: joker at February 27, 2008 12:12 PM
Hee-oh you were, but you just cemented the title. I have a shiny plaque and everything for you.
Posted by: Julie at February 27, 2008 12:20 PM
Well, I want my plaque now. Just so I have something to throw at you when you start cheating on me with KatyBelle or AtO (where IS she btw?) or Sarina.
Posted by: joker at February 27, 2008 12:25 PM
It's true, you may not be able to trust me...I'm such a faux-lesbian internet whore :(
Posted by: Julie at February 27, 2008 12:27 PM
Joker, you love it. Plus, you're more than welcome to join in.
Posted by: KatyBelle at February 27, 2008 1:42 PM
See ladies, it's good that you are sharing like this, lots of, sapphic, energy, just remember "Pajiba-After Hours" can be made a reality...[whispers...*spread the word*]
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 27, 2008 2:12 PM
I want a WhiskeyBabyNinjaStar! shirt. Seriously.
Oh, thread topic. Anime, whateves. I'll watch it if someone insists. I've enjoyed some, but couldn't say which.
Want shirt!
Posted by: lunabelle at February 27, 2008 2:48 PM
Oh, silly MO, anime eyes don't blink. It doesn't count as blinking if it takes more than five seconds to finish. They just gaze. Endlessly. Tearfully. Creepily.
And yes, giant eerie anime eyes and their wavery moistness haunt my nightmares, too.
Posted by: BiblioGeek at February 27, 2008 4:45 PM
Weirdest thread...EVER.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 27, 2008 7:09 AM
___________________________________________
I know! Imagine if Pissboy had been here...
Posted by: general rhubarb at February 27, 2008 5:41 PM
Julie, it's ok, I understand. I'm also a faux-lesbian whore, which is why I think we should have a 3some with KatyBelle. I like it when she talks dirty.
BSlim, I don't know how "after hours" will work since I'm 6+ hours ahead, but good luck with your little project. Where are my midgets btw?
Posted by: joker at February 27, 2008 6:24 PM
Julie, it's ok, I understand. I'm also a faux-lesbian whore, which is why I think we should have a 3some with KatyBelle. I like it when she talks dirty.
I'm liking where this is going...
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at February 27, 2008 6:33 PM
Do you now?
Posted by: KatyBelle at February 27, 2008 11:02 PM
Do you now?
This is the BEST thread ever. No one try and deny it.
Posted by: KatyBelle at February 27, 2008 11:09 PM
Well, KatyBelle, apart from the anime stuff of course. Oh shit, I almost forgot, there used to be a porn anime show on a german TV channel we used to get at home. It would come on really late, like 3 a.m. I don't know what made me think of that.
Posted by: joker at February 28, 2008 2:29 AM
Akira is a classic but can be off-putting because of the mind-fuck story, not uncommon in anime.
Spirited Away/Miyazaki films can come across as slow , dreamy, and inconclusive, also not uncommon in anime.
Cowboy Bebop is probably the exception in terms of approachability. It's simply on another level.
Posted by: Mick J at February 28, 2008 7:05 AM
nethers....tingled. Can't wait for Coraline. Hope it's not a fuck up.
Are Miyazaki films considered anime because he's Japanese? I mean, when I think of anime I guess it's more like violent, somewhat porny sci-fi stuff, as opposed to any Miyazaki film I've seen (which would be most I think). My kids love 'em. I like Howl's Moving Castle with Christian Bale's velvet voice.
Posted by: GinKirk at February 28, 2008 4:08 PM
GinKirk, people who have devoted their lives to it will try to tell you otherwise, but you want to know what anime is? It's cartoons. Anime is just short for animation, meaning that any sort of work that is animated is technically anime. Never actually been to Japan, but I'm pretty sure they would call American made cartoons anime as well.
That being said, I am really sad that I'm just now coming across this (what do I call it, a thread? I don't wanna, I'll call it a comment section.) comment section. Man I could get INTO IT with a serious ass conversation/argument/shitstorm. I'm the guy who keeps up with current series fresh off the tube and torrents fansubs. Then again, I would probably be the worst posterboy for pro-ans seeing as if any of my friends were to ask me if I was a fan I would probably deny it. In public I stick with the classic "I saw Bebop on Adult Swim and it was awesome, but no I don't really watch it."
Sigh...
Posted by: Chiliwillies at March 3, 2008 10:23 AM
Man, I can't wait to see Iron Man. Neither can I wait for The Dark Knight. I don't know which movie will make me go into Seizures of Overwhelming Awesomeness more, but I can't wait to find out.
How could someone have not enjoyed "Spirited Away". Hayao Miyazaki is one of the greatest story tellers ever. You enjoyed "Stardust" but not "Spirited Away"?
I think watching too many movies has rotted your brain or some serious childhood trauma has really messed up your ability to comprehend a great fantasy flick.