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'Ouija': The Movie Starring A Fancy Piece of Cardboard. And A Ouija Board.

By Jodi Clager | Trade News | July 16, 2014 | Comments ()


Ouijaboard.jpg

Do you guys remember when I joked about a Ouija Board getting its own movie? And we were all thinking, “HA! RIDICULOUS!”

From the people that brought you Shitty Horror Remake and Shitty Horror Remake of That Other Thing comes the horror movie where a goddamn Ouija Board is the main attraction. Ouija dares to show the closeups no other movie will! SO MANY FINGERS ON THE PLANCHETTE! SO MUCH SITTING, YOU GUYS! BOY HOWDY!

Let’s watch this action-packed trailer. Try not to roll your eyes so far back into your head that you can see your own thoughts.

Ugh. God, Debbie. Way to get yourself killed by a malevolent spirit and ruin everyone’s fun. EVEN GOOD ORAL HYGIENE IS RUINED, DEBBIE. YOU ASS. I think she’s been reading nosleep on reddit, grabbing a strange Ouija board and contacting spirits for upvotes. DEBBIE IS THE WORST.




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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • The Pink Hulk

    Ummmmmm HELLO? Don't any of you remember "Witchboard," the best movie ever made?

    For serious, it's still one of my favorite cheeseball horror movies.

  • Ruthie O

    Speaking of movies-based-on-board-games, has anyone watched Jumanji recently? I loved the shit out of that movie when I was a kid, and I'm curious if it holds up.

  • luckypete

    I actually watched it for the first time with my daughter last weekend. It was amusing enough and some pretty good moments. The only drawbacks were minor: people waiting to see what catastrophe was next before the next player would take their turn (I mean, after the first disaster, and then learning the only way for it all to go away is to finish the game... I would think that they'd try to get through it as fast as possible). But all in all, better than I was expecting.

  • BettyNugs

    Being haunted by Shelley Hennig would be terrible. I really don't like her.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    The pointy thing has a name?

  • cinekat

    Dammit, Jodi. When will you learn that making offhand remarks about implausibly silly movie ideas is a sure-fire way to see them come to fruition? WHY WON'T YOU THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

  • BWeaves

    You don't even need a board or planchet. I remember doing this with just pieces of paper around the edge of a smooth table and an upside down glass. I was convinced my friend across the table was moving it. The spirit made the same spelling mistakes. That said, crappy movie idea.

  • fracas

    There is one good movie about a Ouija board. It's called The Exorcist.

    Captain Howdy's back...

  • Blake Shrapnel

    The only worthwhile use of an Ouija board is for communicating with paraplegic Mexican drug lords.

  • Stu Rat

    And to think, they rejected my Hungry, Hungry Hippos treatment.

  • bastich

    "Hungry Hungry Hippocalypse: You Are The Marble"

  • Stu Rat

    Ooh! Now that we've got the title for the sequel, we can end the first installment with a shot of two gleaming hippo eyes in the shadows as our two protagonists return home from their African "adventure".

  • Andrew J

    Olivia Cooke noooo!?!

    Also this would almost be worth it to see the meeting of trying to unsuccessfully explain that a ouija board isn't really a game.

    "We are not playing anymore!"

  • Swaimfan

    Wasn't there already a Ouija Board movie? And someone in it says "TTFN!"

  • jthomas666

    Yep. "Witchboard", which isn't too bad in its own goofy way.

  • Sean

    I actually saw that in a theater back in high school. Brief nudity from Tawny Kitean is all I remember.

  • BlackRabbit

    And Micky Dolenz's daughter. Wait no, that was the sequel. Why do I know that?

  • Dammit Debbie, you had one job: don't get killed by an evil spirit in your clearly haunted house. Couldn't even do that right.

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