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KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (31)



khaaaaan.jpg

Look, first things first, speculation about who the bad guy will be in Star Trek 2 is very silly. It’s Khan. Period. Because Star Trek 2 was made a quarter century ago with a certain Ricardo Montalban. Whatever J.J. Abrams does next is not Star Trek 2. I don’t care how pedantic this might seem. If grammar nazis are going to drop atom bombs over comma splices and typos, then I feel it’s only right to take a stand on movie numbering.

Ahem. So anyway, the trade news rumors here are about the possible bad guy in the twelfth Star Trek film. A confidential informant of Bad Ass Digest says that it will definitely not be Khan and goes on to say: “It’s definitely a character that will make fans of TOS excited. Think along the lines of Harry Mudd or Trelane or Gary Mitchell or the Talosians or the Horta. Actually it’s one of those that I named.”

It’s important to note that Bad Ass Digest is affiliated with the Alamo Drafthouse. All I know about the Alamo Drafthouse is that it is a theater in which you can drink beer. I am therefore predisposed to believe anything this source says, up to and including the sky being purple and the moon being made of frozen yogurt.

Here’s the ten second run down on who these characters are:

Harry Mudd: con man, played for laughs.

Trelane: godlike being, turns out to be a child of his species

Gary Mitchell: friend of Kirk, gains godlike powers, goes nuts

Talosians: godlike beings who create perfect illusions

Horta: sentient rocks


Hmmm, there’s sort of a pattern there, some sort of word that keeps popping up…

Well, it could just be another false rumor on the pile, but if it ends up being accurate, it could be fantastic news. The flaw of the Star Trek films, even the best of them, has been how rarely they’ve touched on the best parts of the television shows, that mixture of wonder and meditation. Space battles and steely resolve were but the window dressing.


(source: Bad Ass Digest)









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Comments

The Talosians would be the most visually interesting. It's sure as shit not Harry Mudd.

Posted by: Paul Southworth at October 27, 2010 10:19 AM

If they actually did Harry Mudd and kept to the overall theme of the character I'd probably have Falcon Taint Punch someone.

Posted by: admin at October 27, 2010 10:24 AM

I have no idea what any of this shit means, but Gary Mitchell sounds like the most interesting choice. Then they can play off Kirk's extreme hubris in the first film by making Gary as narcissistic as Kirk, then force Kirk to confront his mirror image in the form of his berserker god-friend.

My only question in all this "god" talk is: Will Diora Baird's tits be involved again because those beautiful sonsabitches were undoubtedly blessed by a higher being . . . and possibly given a test drive if your respective gods lean toward the Roman or Greek persuasion.

Man, this post went off the rails in a hurry.

Posted by: Kballs at October 27, 2010 10:35 AM

Oh, god, if they did the Horta, would that give Bones the opportunity to say, dammit JIM, I'm a doctor, not a bricklayer? And have Spock mindmeld with the rock and moan...paaaaaain....paaaaaain...

That would make me obscenely happy

Posted by: dammitjanet at October 27, 2010 10:42 AM

re: Think along the lines of ... the Horta.

Who are you calling a horta?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at October 27, 2010 10:46 AM

Maybe they'll name them the "whore-ta"

Posted by: Uncle JR at October 27, 2010 10:56 AM

F*ck the what is a Falcon Taint Punch? It seems to me to be potentially a delightful multi-purpose phrase, but I want to use it correctly. Can I insert alternate birds of prey? Pygmy Owl Taint Punch? Buzzard Taint Punch*? What exactly are my options?

*I am starting a band just so I can use this name.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at October 27, 2010 10:57 AM

Well, the Gary Mitchell/"To Boldly Go..." villain/plot makes the most sense, but what exactly does it have to do with the Abrams' last Trek movie? Considering we never, ever, never saw Mitchell, the movie's going to have to do a lot of leg work establishing that he and Kirk are the best of buds, which will be jarring to fans of only this iteration. As far as they know, Bones was Kirk's BFF. It worked in TOS because we never saw Kirk at Starfleet, or as anything but the Enterprise's captain, so they could fill in as much backstory as they wanted. We know with the last movie that the details of Kirk's life changed dramatically, even if the broad strokes stayed the same.

Of course, Mitchell could simply be a new crew member who hits it off with Kirk at first, then starts giving him a taste of his own medicine before he goes god. The love triangle aspect will definitely appeal to studio heads who think women only want to see love stories in their action packed science fiction. So, yeah, it makes a certain amount of sense. But it just doesn't feel big enough for a sequel where we saw Vulcan destroyed and Leonard Nimoy's final portrayal of Spock.

Bring on the damn Klingons!

Posted by: RobP at October 27, 2010 11:01 AM

That said, I would love to see a Harry Mudd cameo or running gag in the sequel. But as the main villain? B.A.D. is just messing with us.

Also, and lastly, the Alamo Drafthouse is the tits. Great atmosphere, good beer selection, reasonable prices, and their grilled cheese sandwich is to kill for.

Posted by: RobP at October 27, 2010 11:04 AM

If they actually did Harry Mudd and kept to the overall theme of the character I'd probably have Falcon Taint Punch someone.

Careful with that, buddy. You're treading dangerously close to infringing on the title of Bad Ass Digest's advice column "Ask a Falcon Taint Punch". Not to be confused with their health section: "The Only Sissies Need Anesthesia Report".

Posted by: branded at October 27, 2010 11:07 AM

Clearly Trelane or Gary Mitchell. Not a big Star Trek fan (the old man was) but here's a quick copy/paste from the Trek wiki:

"Mitchell was an Academy friend of James T. Kirk, stemming back to the time then-lieutenant Kirk was serving as an instructor and Mitchell was a first-year cadet."

That's a real quick intro into the new Trek world. Kirk's a captain, yes, but perhaps he's duty-bound to do a little teaching on the side. Enter Gary, enter 45 minutes of adventure/highjinks, give Spock a little distance. Then Mitchell starts going nuts, you pull Spock back into the story from wherever he was, and finish. Then throw in some connection to the Klingons at various points. Ta da!

Personally I'm happy they aren't doing Khan. As Kevin Smith asserts, Trek II was just a plain badass movie with a badass villain, and Montalban was the right age to battle Shatner and have his cronies, and his almost comic gravitas fit in the movie.

Posted by: D-Day at October 27, 2010 11:42 AM

Like I said, D-Day, Mitchell makes sense. I think it could even be a good movie, I just don't think it'll be big enough after Vulcan and Nimoy. For Trek fans, anyway (of which, clearly, I am one). I was also hoping for a story with more depth, along the lines of Undiscovered Country or some of the better TOS episodes (which, "To Boldly Go..." is one, but emotionally, not thematically). The "godly being" episodes aren't really that deep and are pretty boring. It took TNG and Q to get them right.

And I'm not against doing another Khan, but should they do that, go back to the TOS episode and not his Wrath. Saying that movie and Montalban's performance is untouchable is like saying no one can ever do another Joker story after Heath Ledger. That, to my mind, definitely isn't true.

Posted by: RobP at October 27, 2010 11:51 AM

Saying that movie and Montalban's performance is untouchable is like saying no one can ever do another Joker story after Heath Ledger. That, to my mind, definitely isn't true.

But it would be incredibly jarring.
How many portrayals of the Joker have there been, via different actors?
Yet there has only ever been one Khan.

Posted by: Rykker at October 27, 2010 11:57 AM

Saying that movie and Montalban's performance is untouchable is like saying no one can ever do another Joker story after Heath Ledger.

I agree, and I think you're spot-on to assert that you have to go back to what happened before Khan gets stranded in order to tell the story. I do think it was important, and helped Trek II work, that both characters were at the age in which the movie takes place.

Part of the fun/problem when trying to dissect choices like this is not knowing where future films are going to go. When you have a clear money-making franchise, it's impossible to ignore the future of the series. So while a character like Mitchell would seemingly be a choice that grounds the next movie as a human-only affair, one can assume that somewhere within elements of the next movie will appear. Let's face it, at some point you're going to get Klingons, and you're going to get a large, "galaxy-defining" space battle.

Of course, the choice is up to Abrams. You can look specifically at 3 different choices in comic-book movies to see how this plays out.

Iron Man--Favreau hints at The Mandarin and the Ten Rings, but ultimately the Nick Fury/SHIELD storyline overpowers the need to tie into an Avengers movie.

Batman Begins--Ends with Bats and Gordon on a rooftop with the Joker card telling you who the bad guy is in the next movie.

Superman Returns--Attempts to set up a future with Superboy, but since the movie completely falls flat on it's face in terms of critical reception, you have to throw that out the window for the next iteration of the character.

So, if this bit of casting is true, does that mean the elements of Star Trek that hinted at Klingon conflict continue, does he abandon it all together? We'll see. I think Chris Pine as good a job as is possible with Kirk, and I need more Bruce "will you be my adoptive father" Greenwood in my life.

Posted by: D-Day at October 27, 2010 12:17 PM

I would love some Harry Mudd, but he's not worthy of a full movie. Maybe a 20 minute diversion in the main plot.

I liked the Talosians. Damn good special effects for the time, expecially their throbing veiny heads. The Talosians were part of the pilot episode, and it could be interesting to revisit them EXCEPT, it was Capt. Pike who went there, and then later went back in a wheelchair and STAYED. Since Pike didn't go back, but witch woman is probably still there, they will rewrite history, again.

Posted by: BWeaves at October 27, 2010 1:19 PM

Well, I didn't specifically mean in Nolan's next Batman movie, Rykker. But, yeah, I think that could also work if done right. It would be jarring to non-comic audiences, but any fan of the genre would, I think, get it. Or should. You do make a good point that only one actor has ever played Khan (I don't think that character appeared in the animated series, but I've only seen a handful of episodes). To that I say: Give Javier Bardem a chance!

D-Day, I think the lack of the Ten Rings and any continuation of the Mandarin plot is one of the biggest reasons I didn't care much for Iron Man 2. It just seemed like a one-shot jammed into the middle of a trade paperback. They could've kept everything about the S.H.I.E.L.D. storyline, such as it was, and continued building on the Mandarin... and it would have helped establish Thor, in that magic and science can co-exist in this movie universe. Sigh.

As for The Dark Knight, as the Joker said, It's all part of the plan...

I don't really know what to say about your theory that they planned to do a Superboy story for the sequel... I mean, I liked that movie and even I know the super son stuff was awful. (As well as not even making sense.)

I think the reason I'm so ready for some Klingons is because of the deleted interrogation scene from the blu-ray of Star Trek. It takes them back to being the galaxy's badasses instead of the galaxy's toilet paper. Though, I have it on good authority they use bidets in the future...

Posted by: RobP at October 27, 2010 2:53 PM

@BWeaves: Who is "witch woman?" And, the whole point of the movie was to rewrite history...?

Posted by: RobP at October 27, 2010 2:55 PM

For Hate's sake, I spit m-- clarification's sake, I wasn't arguing against another Joker, but implying that it would be easier to do, since it already has been done multiple times, than finding another Kha--

To that I say: Give Javier Bardem a chance!

Ok, then.
That, I could see.

Posted by: Rykker at October 27, 2010 3:18 PM

If they do Harry Mudd, it better be the Harry Mudd, pimp episode. Bring on the space bitches! Holluh!

Posted by: professor_love at October 27, 2010 4:39 PM

Why have a TOS villain at all? My thing is that you went to so much trouble establihsing an "alternate timeline" while avoiding a Trekkie revolt, now you can finally start telling stories the way you want them to be, rather than being slaved to the often-insipid original series canon.

The last movie went a long way in fixing the Star Trek franchise. It scrapped Roddenberry's incredibly naieve notions about Starfleet officers never being prejudiced or having conflict with one another, it performed a drastic "camp" reduction without removing its whimsical spirit entirely. While Kirk is still Captain Wonderful, he's not nearly the hyper-perfect Mary Sue character he was in the series, and the rest of the cast actually has a chance to do things themselves from time to time.

The best things about Star Trek when compared to other sci-fi series is the focus on teamwork and fellowship in a very clearly-defined universe. We already know what Klingons and Romulans are, we don't have to have them explained like in other sci-fi stories. That's a huge advantage, because you can move straight into the story itself. Why waste all that by tossing in an old chesnut like Harry Mudd?

Posted by: Leftylad at October 27, 2010 4:54 PM

Gary Mitchell? Uhm.....just a point of clarification.....Gary Mitchell is better known as Gary 7, along with Roberta Lincoln and Isis the Talking (British) Cat. Secret Time Agents trying to fix the universe (Unlike Enterprise, where Daniels and his miscreant friends were doing a pox'd up job of it) I think the guy who got super powers was Charlie, first season, who got godlike powers.

If you're going to keep on with Trek related news, please be accurate.

Thank you.

Posted by: LordNinja at October 27, 2010 6:05 PM

Geeking for a minute.....

Don't you think the "old" Spock in the new alternate universe might tell the new Kirk, Spock and Starfleet about all the upcoming "major" problems that wouldn't have been affected by the change in time line (Kahn would still be out there somewhere, the whale watching probe from ST4, Vger, etc.). I mean, old Spock would be kind of a dick not to give them a heads up right? And by doing so, the new team could clean up those messes a bit easier (at least you would think).

I mean they better start looking for some damned humpback whales soon because that probe is a'comin.

C'mon old Spock, don't be a dick.

Posted by: pattonbt at October 27, 2010 7:35 PM

Trelane and Kark Urban.

BAM!

You're welcome.

Posted by: malechai at October 27, 2010 8:09 PM

If you're going to keep on with Trek related news, please be accurate.

Alas, it is you, Mr. ninja, who needs to check your info for accuracy before calling someone else out.

This is Gary Mitchell, the guy to whom everyone else is [correctly] referring.

This is Gary Seven; completely different character.

(and this is Charlie.)

Steven quoted an informant (and that same quote was posted at multiple sites across the Web. I first read about it Tuesday.), so even if the info in his post was incorrect, Steven would not be the proper person at which to direct your missive.
Regardless, the informant mentioned Gary Mitchell, and it is Gary Mitchell, not Gary Seven, to whom he was referring.

You're making ninjas look bad. That's not healthy for you.

Posted by: Rykker at October 28, 2010 4:23 AM

"The flaw of the Star Trek films, even the best of them, has been how rarely they’ve touched on the best parts of the television shows, that mixture of wonder and meditation."

You nailed it. This was especially true for the NG films. With 7 years worth of stories and characters to build movies on, why give us Insurrection? A story about Romulans? Why give us Nemesis (a pretty blatant Wrath of Khan ripoff)? Why not follow up on the established history in TNG? Bring back Denise Crosby and write a story somehow involving her character, who suddenly vanished from the show after a significant buildup. I've just never understood the approach taken to the films.

I'm in a minority of people who think that the '09 Trek film was average at best. I can't say I'm excited about the next one. But if they're going to do it, I hope they just go their own way. Come up with new shit. We don't need another version of Khan. Let's see these guys create their own stuff -- that *is* why they made this version of Trek into an alternate reality, right?

Posted by: strife at October 28, 2010 5:59 AM

Maybe Darth Vader will make an appearance, since that's clearly what JJ was going for.

My only complaint for the '09 Trek film was that they had a red insect-like creature on Hoth, I mean... that ice planet that Kirk found old Spock and Scotty. Talk about unlikely!

I would also hope that they come up with new shit.

Posted by: Uda at October 28, 2010 8:27 AM

Five words that would make me giggle like a schoolgirl:
"Nick Frost is Harry Mudd."

Eh? Eh?

Posted by: Wonkey The Monkey at October 28, 2010 12:36 PM

Kirk will kill Wesley Crusher's grandfather with the Tantalus Field.

Posted by: eman at October 29, 2010 12:17 AM

I have to say, there can be no Khan.
There is no man alive Actor currently available with the ability to be that manly.
'Cause let's face it, they'd use Wilmer Valderrama and I'd have to KILL THEM.

Posted by: Kahntahmp at October 29, 2010 9:31 AM

wonkey i like the way you think...

Posted by: kim at October 30, 2010 12:51 AM

I want Shatner and the Mirror universe to come back.

Posted by: Mirror Universe NAO at February 26, 2011 4:56 AM