Here are five dispiriting news items. At the bottom, vote for your least favorite.
Battlestar Gallactica’s Ron Moore is in the very early stages of developing a movie for Disney based on the Magic Kingdom. Yeah. Like, the whole place. If it’s eventually made, look for it to be like Night of the Museum. With cylons. (Variety)
Roland Emmerich is discussing Independence Day sequel(s), and the idea, apparently, is to pick the second movie up where the first movie left off, with the people of the world dealing with the aftermath. And guess who’s President in Emmerich’s idea for the sequel? Will Smith! That’s right — the cheesy, flag-waving speech will be passed on from Pullman to Smith, and some younger bad-ass will be left to conquer aliens with his Mac. (MTV)
Hunt Lowery (A Time to Kill) and Mark Johnson (Chronicles of Narnia) are teaming up with a couple of other producers to buy the right to the video game Myst, with the intention of turning it into a big-screen feature. The movie is expected to be based on the novels. (Deadline)
How many of you are familiar with Diane Gabaldon’s fantasy series, Outlander? If you’re a fan, you’ve probably known that a movie has been in development for a couple of years, but there’s not been much momentum. When you found out that it was being made, did you do any dream casting of Claire, the English nurse, who is transported in time from 1945 back to the 18th century? What kind of actresses did you come up with. Were any of them Katherine Heigl? Because that’s who may get the part. How much are you loving the idea of a Outlander movie now? (The Playlist)
It’s OK to cry, you know. Just tell your co-workers that your dog died. (H/T mswas)
There are rumors, via Production Weekly, that the long-gestating big-screen version of The Great Gatsby, which last had Baz Lurhman at the helm, may get Leonardo DiCaprio for Jay Gatsby, Tobey Maguire for Nick Carraway and Amanda Seyfried for Daisy Buchanan.
Isn't Daisy supposed to be the same age as Gatsby et al?
Posted by: Mrs. Julien at October 1, 2010 10:28 AM
I don't know anything about the Outlander stories, but I know that just the mention of Rainbow Killer's name brings up the bile so she edges out President Will Smith.
Posted by: UncleJR at October 1, 2010 10:29 AM
All I know about Outlander is my friend telling me the entire plot on a train journey and how rubbish it was, but that I should read it. I am not at all sad about the Heigl casting, as I won't be going near it either way.
I am not going to vote as I have developed the ability to ignore things such as the above in my ongoing sanity quest.
So who should be Daisy? Hmm. Loathe as I am to say it, if she could pull off the vulnerability, she certainly has the entitlement and voice full of money to do it. She's very waspy as well. I refer of course to beloved character actress Eileen Brennan.
Nope. Scratch that. Try again. It's just so hard. Here I go. (Breathe in 1-2-3. Breathe out 1-2-3). I'm just going to say it.
Dinty Moore.
Nope. No closer.
Zellwegger. Right hair colour. I know I can make myself say this.
Blythe Danner. Okay, we're in the ballpark now. I've got the right gene pool.
Here we go
(calm blue ocean calm blue ocean calm blue ocean)
Gwyneth Paltrow. You know it's true.
I mean it's practically type-casting.
What do I mean "practically"?
Where's the tiny rake for my tiny zen garden? I need to align some sand.
Posted by: Mrs. Julien at October 1, 2010 10:41 AM
"That's what I'M talkin' 'bout!" Doesn't really fit in a presidential speech but that won't stop Will Smith from doing it.
I'll go with The Great Gatsby casting rumors solely because I have only enjoyed Leonardo DiCaprio in one film and I don't recall Gatsby being...uh...touched by angels, if you catch my drift.
I don't think Heigl will get movie work much longer. You only get so many bites at the apple. She started strong with Knocked Up, but the decline is clear. Like the assorted Jessicas and Danes, she will drift away and probably end up on episodic television again.
I think most times, they get 3 or 4 tries.
Posted by: Mrs. Julien at October 1, 2010 10:54 AM
I learned "touched by angels" was crazy Fundie code for special needs child back in the heyday of "hoot at the Duggars" mania. That just means he needed extra love and attention while screaming "Gilbert!" and freaking out all the damn time.
I'm kinda meh about all of these, but I went with Myst because of my general abhorrence for any movies related to any video games. I hold them in even lower regard than I do comic book movies, which is to say at subterranean levels.
Posted by: , at October 1, 2010 11:19 AM
The Outlander chick was the latest in a long line of anti-fanfiction tools, so I laugh. I laugh loud and long.
Posted by: twig at October 1, 2010 11:27 AM
The thought of Heigl monster swanning about in the Scottish highlands trying to be all seductive warrior woman with a giant Ginger is just sickening.
Great! Now I'm sitting in a drift and my ass is cold.
Thanks Robert.
Posted by: Mrs. Julien at October 1, 2010 11:47 AM
I don't think Heigl will get movie work much longer
I hope her career stops RIGHT NOW.
NOW NOW NOW.
Posted by: mswas at October 1, 2010 12:01 PM
I hate this keyboard, as it is too easy to hit a key and delete everything. To sum up, Myst movie based on books = awesome. Will it be awesome? Probably not. But the material is good for it.
Still haven't gotten to Outlanders, though I almost picked it up a couple of weeks ago. Looks good. Not with Heigl. Never with Heigl.
Posted by: KatSings at October 1, 2010 12:22 PM
I literally have tears in my eyes over the Outlander news.
Posted by: badkittyuno at October 1, 2010 12:30 PM
badkittyuno now you know how I felt last night when I saw the news on Twitter and sent Dustin an email begging him to tell me it wasn't true. i am still hoping.
Posted by: mswas at October 1, 2010 12:36 PM
I know nothing about Outlander, but I'm surprised Will Smith as a President, in a sequel to Independence Day, hasn't gotten the majority of votes. I suspect the Heigl Hate is strong with this website.
Posted by: EJ at October 1, 2010 2:22 PM
I'm tentatively okay with casting Amanda Seyfried as Daisy. If they wait about twenty years to start filming the damn thing.
The only possible response to everything in this post is incoherent sobbing.
Posted by: Matthew at October 1, 2010 3:01 PM
My favorite part of the Heigl news is that she'll be playing a British woman. Ha ha! I love the books for their entertainment value (plus I learned some historical facts!), but wouldn't see a cinematic version regardless of casting.
I hate the idea of DiCaprio as Gatsby. He just looks too boyish, and his freaking voice...wrong. You know who doesn't look or sound boyish and also rocks an expensive suit, particularly while holding a tumbler of amber colored liquor? Jon Hamm.
Posted by: 2HB at October 1, 2010 3:15 PM
2HB has the right idea. Hamm would make an excellent Gatsby.
Also, who will be Myst's protagonist? The game is first-person, so do we get to see more of the brothers and Atrus and Catherine? The casting would be wide-open for this one.
Posted by: seed at October 1, 2010 5:31 PM
Heigl?!? Do they plan on casting Gerard Butler as the giant ginge and make it into a romantic comedy? Assholes.
I pictured a younger Kristin Scott Thomas as the lead. And a younger Liam Neeson as the giant ginge.
Posted by: snapnhiss at October 1, 2010 5:34 PM
Rainbow Killer's name made me rage so hard I forgot everything else.
Shamefully, I have a crush on Leo (it's like being 13 again. Except female this time), so the Great Gatsby thing doesn't faze me. Independence Day won't make me rage unless I see it.
Posted by: Inferno at October 1, 2010 6:25 PM
They have yet to make a good movie out of a good video game. Heavens knows what happens when they try to make a movie out of the shit hole that was Myst. Fuck that game. Seriously.
Posted by: Lennon at October 1, 2010 7:30 PM
I voted for the Gatsby cast because I simply cannot imagine Leo as Jay Gatsby. I just can't. But then, he can't do any worse than Redford.
I don't get the Heigl hate . . . if the script has been sitting around for two years it's probably because they couldn't get money for it because they needed a female star with a little box office clout. People may hate her but Heigl does open movies. (Minus that thing with that person married to Demi Moore, her movies do make money. And I think we should wait and see how her "Stephanie Plum" movie does before saying her career is over.)
Posted by: mslewis at October 1, 2010 8:53 PM
And, Will Smith as President? Why not?
Posted by: mslewis at October 1, 2010 8:54 PM
I think they're going to cover a lot of the Myst-world's story, seed. It's not based solely on that first game.
And re: the Stephanie Plum movie - as one who is reading the 16th in that series, I hate to admit it, but I could see Heigl in that role. "could", not "would"
Posted by: mswas at October 1, 2010 10:28 PM
Dammit. I'm so sick of seeing Leonardo DiCaprio in that kind of shit.
And I would be pissed about Independence Day but that whole idea is just retarded.
Posted by: bubblegumshoe at October 2, 2010 10:15 AM
But my last shred of respect for Emmerich was for the fact that he didn't make sequels...
Posted by: scarecrowprophet at October 2, 2010 10:24 AM
This was a tough choice. I went with Myst film because I can't stand there being yet another adaptation or sequel to Myst in any format, but the idea of an Independence Day sequel is fucking terrible. #1 is merely asinine, and I have never heard of Outlanders, so I don't care about #4.
The problem with #5 is that the casting for the male leads is absolutely wrong. Leonardo DiCaprio would make a much better Nick Carraway than a Gatsby. Gatsby needs to be someone that is trying to be larger-than-life, and the last time Leo did that was [gag] Titanic. Also, Tobey Maguire as Nick Carraway is a casting move that could absolutely sink the movie. Nick Carraway has zero emo in him. The character's import to the novel is as someone who doesn't have a significant role in the society of the novel, but is okay with that, has a degree of self-deception, and sets in motion events without consideration of the consequences. The important part is his lack of emotional consideration of his actions.
Wait, Myst? The early 90s PC game that took 40 hours to finish...UNLESS you knew to go to the green book from the start!
Yeah, 2 hours of wandering and puzzle-solving. Good luck with that!