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One of the Worst Episodes of Drama This Year Featured One of the Most Devilishly Sexual Sequences (Very NSFW)

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | June 10, 2014 | Comments ()

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | June 10, 2014 |


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I liked the opening episode of Penny Dreadful, and like Rebecca, had look forward to the Showtime series becoming something akin to our summer Hannibal. But through four episodes, the series had begun to lose me with plodding, tortuously slow plotlines and a lot of interesting visuals but very little substance. It had gotten to the point where the only scenes I really cared about were those that involved Josh Hartnett and Billie Piper, and when the most interesting thing about your series is Hartnett, you know you’ve run into a problem. The Frankenstein plotline is somewhat interesting, too, but everything involving Dorian Gray is tedious, and it says a lot about how boring he is because that character frequently engages in orgies.

But what’s dragging the show down the most is the central plotline, which concerns the disappearance of Sir Malcolm’s (Timothy Dalton) daughter, Mina Harker, and Malcolm’s relationship with the psychic Vanessa Ives (Eva Green). Much of the show is devoted to locating and retrieving Harker, who has been kidnapped by Dracula. The story has been characterized by the uneasy relationship between Sir Malcolm and Vanessa Ives, a relationship that was explained in last night’s episode, the excruciating low point of the series so far.

It was entirely a flashback episode, most of which was relayed through mind-numbing voice over in the form of a letter Ives was writing to the missing Mina recounting their lives together. The gist of it was this: Vanessa and Mina were very close childhood friends, but Vanessa ruined that relationship when she f*cked Mina’s fiance the night before they were to be married. Haunted by the guilt of that, Ives went mad and eventually found herself seeking out the “darkness,” which brought her back to Mina’s Dad, Sir Malcolm, who is himself some kind of demon.

It was a terrible, slow, painful voice-over heavy episode that at times made me want to pull out my eyelashes. However, it did feature one fantastically intoxicating, wildly fantastic, creepy-as-hell scene. It was during the period in which Ives was suffering from madness, bedridden, and under the care of her mother. During one of her spells, Ives had a vision in which she was visited by Sir Malcolm, and those two ended up f*cking. In her dream. That’s when her mom walked into the room and found her daughter humping the sh*t out of the ceiling before turning into some kind of demon (in fact, she’s being possessed by an ancient Egyptian deity).

It looked like this:


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And yes, upon the sight of her daughter’s air-fucking antics, the mother immediately fell to the floor and dropped dead.

It was spectacular! In fact, the entire episode would have been considerably better if it had been reduced to a series of Eva Green naughty GIFs, and God knows, there were plenty of those to choose from.


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