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One Look at Henry Cavill as Superman and Ryan Reynolds Gave Up On Life

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (37)

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Christ. I have no idea if Zack Snyder’s Man of Steel will be any goddamn good, because it’s Zack Snyder, after all, and Zack Snyder is a stylized hack. But Henry Cavill knows his way around a green screen, and by “knows his way around a green screen,” I mean: He looks good without a shirt, like a hairy Adonis with muttonchops. Poor R-Squared: Cavill gets the plum superhero role and the better abs. There, there, Double R. You just open up another pint of Ben and Jerry’s and sit over there on the couch next to Fat Mac.

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Comments

I'm sorry, did you say something? I couldn't hear you over the SuperBod. Mmmmmmmmmm.

Posted by: ChickaBoom! at October 26, 2011 11:39 AM

Thank god men have chest hair again. If I see one more shaved chest I'm going to vomit.

Posted by: Danielle Lilly at October 26, 2011 11:46 AM

//stays popping//

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at October 26, 2011 11:48 AM

You had me at "hairy Adonis".

RyRy would have ruined the Man of Steel.

Posted by: wsapnin at October 26, 2011 11:49 AM

Will you be my friend, Danielle Lilly? You seem a such a wise and reasonable person.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at October 26, 2011 11:51 AM

A Ryan Reynolds Superman would be awesome. He'd save cats from trees, but ironically. And he'd rescue Lois Lane from a crashed helicopter. But ironically. And he'd save the world with a really solemn smile. Ironically.

He's a smarmy douche is what I'm saying, basically.

Posted by: superasente at October 26, 2011 12:15 PM

Are you saying it ironically?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at October 26, 2011 12:17 PM

hatchimama. I had no idea who this guy was until he got cast in this movie and now, all of a sudden I want to see it...no well maybe I just want to print these pictures out and hang them somewhere private and discreet. And then invite all you ladies over because I heart you for the comments above. Here here for hairy chested mens! (I still love you too RR, just ironically.)

Posted by: JenVegas at October 26, 2011 12:23 PM

Zack Snyder's "Man of Steel: The Adventures of Hobo Superman"

Posted by: JustBill at October 26, 2011 12:24 PM

Thank you for those muscles, Baby Jesus.

Holy holies. Holy. Hoooooooleeeee. Hoooo-- *brainbreaks*

Posted by: figgy at October 26, 2011 12:33 PM

Hummina hummina hummina. I've never been a big fan of beefcake, but these photos have reduced me to a quivering mess right now.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at October 26, 2011 12:44 PM

Snyder just follows Nolan's advices:always 2 scenes with the shirt-off attractive lead actor in the superhero movie

Posted by: carrie at October 26, 2011 12:54 PM

See now THAT'S a man!!

MOAR chest hairs!!!

Posted by: MissRos at October 26, 2011 1:21 PM

I see your hummina hummina hummina and raise you a yummmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Posted by: PerpetualIntern at October 26, 2011 1:28 PM

JenVengas, he was in The Tudors. Like, a lot. Like, not always fully clothed. Just sayin'.

Posted by: That French Guy at October 26, 2011 1:31 PM

Am I the only one sensing the need for a

List of Magnificent Chest Hair Objectification?

The new Superman Guy
Sam Elliott
Tom Selleck
Alec Baldwin and the Straight Irish Chest Hair of Doom
Sam Elliott again
Mike Rowe

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at October 26, 2011 1:33 PM

And that is why the first season of The Tudors is the best. Things were never the same after Cavill's character got married and stopped getting naked.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at October 26, 2011 1:41 PM

I watched The Tudors on Netflx instant this weekend, and Three-nineteen is right. After Suffolk married that young girl, he just gave up on getting naked, mores the pity.
This man is just plain beautiful.

Posted by: Carolina Girl at October 26, 2011 1:46 PM

This soothes my heart, which had violently shattered when it went to see Captain America and saw Mr. Hairy Chest Prince himself appear on-screen with a waxed torso. The horror!

Also, I love that the formerly skinny Monsieur Cavill realized he had testosterone and is now looking like a man...you know, the kind of man that would toss me over his ripped shoulders and carry me off in a torment of lust for an evening of back-bending, ass-slapping, ball-gaggi....oh, were y'all still reading? My b.

Posted by: Donut Plains at October 26, 2011 1:47 PM

Miss J. you can add Mark Ruffalo to that list.

Posted by: MissRos at October 26, 2011 1:53 PM

...I didn't even know there could be that many muscles on a person's back.
I think that qualifies Superman as an educational movie, right? I know I've learned something today.

Posted by: BiblioGeek at October 26, 2011 1:59 PM

This guy has certainly got the body to play superman, lets just hope he can put two sentences together. I mean the superman I know is a goddamn reporter, which means he can read and write and make a living with his brain that don't require him to shake that fine ass of his. I hope they give the guy a nice piece of ass to tap. I want this guy to put pipe to a JLo type broad. I'm just so fucking tired of superman banging young anorexic white broads.

Posted by: Pookie at October 26, 2011 2:13 PM

@Pookie

I...agree...with you?
Such is the power of H. Cavill's sexxx machine bod. I cosign everything you said -- about the intelligence and about the hot piece.

Folks, I think a photo of H. Cavill's back muscles should be attached to every peace treaty the United States writes hence forth.

Posted by: Donut Plains at October 26, 2011 2:23 PM

Now that's a SUPER man!

{ugh, I hate myself for that}

Posted by: MM at October 26, 2011 2:24 PM

@Carolina girl: the young girl character he marries on the Tudors is an ancestress of mine. True story. That side of the family became obscenely rich under Henry VIII (we excel at pillage and plunder) but the money ran out with my Dad's generation. Go figure.
However, I am in complete agreement that a naked Charles Brandon is a good Charles Brandon.

Posted by: cinekat at October 26, 2011 2:36 PM

Not enough MM, not enough.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at October 26, 2011 3:00 PM

Are they better abs? I mean, I like the overall package better. That's one hunk of a man. Maybe his abs are better than Ry Rey's are right now; I don't know. But in his super-cut phase, There wasn't a whole lot better than Reynold's ab definition.

On the other hand, this superhero has body hair and looks like he could kick some serious ass, and I'm all about that.

Add Sullivan Stapleton to the list of yummy men with body hair.

Posted by: Reba at October 26, 2011 4:08 PM

Mrs. J, you hurt me.

Posted by: MM at October 26, 2011 4:08 PM

If I had a locker, that back-porn photo would be hanging in it.

Posted by: Jess at October 26, 2011 5:22 PM

I'm ashamed of you women for objectifying this poor man! He's not just chest hair and muscles you know!He's a human being with thoughts and feelings and dreams. Y'all should be ashamed.

Posted by: logan at October 26, 2011 5:50 PM

Color me ashamed. but not really.

Finally some eye candy for the ladies.
Thanx Pajiba!

Posted by: wsapnin at October 26, 2011 8:01 PM

Yes. Finally.

Posted by: superasente at October 26, 2011 8:12 PM

He comes across as intelligent so I think he'll make a great Clark Kent. Those pix of his bod are entrancing but let's not forget his pretty pretty face and most excellent teeth!

Posted by: BitterKitten at October 26, 2011 8:17 PM

Is this Incredible Hulk or Superman? This guy may be nice looking, but he's not Superman in my book. Why do you need to go into Roid rage for this part? How exactly does one who defies gravity build all these muscles exactly- bench press a planet or two?

Posted by: Juli at October 27, 2011 8:37 AM

Mrs. J, I think the Olyphant has at least a little chest hair, can we throw him in there too?

Posted by: Laura at October 27, 2011 10:21 AM

@Juli you do realize that with a personal trainer and dietitian the look can be achieved sans roids... it takes an assload of hard work but it can be done. I doubt an actor would take the long term risk of using

Posted by: Colombo at October 27, 2011 11:47 AM

jhvgvhgvljhb

Posted by: Dion Sarno at November 22, 2011 3:33 AM