On a Scale Of Terrible to God Awful, Rate These 17 New "Hobbit" Posters
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On a Scale Of Terrible to God Awful, Rate These 17 New Hobbit Posters

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | November 5, 2012 | Comments ()


















Not an actual Hobbit poster; the image -- via Jim Vejvoda -- of Val Kilmer is simply your reward for scanning the 17 posters above.


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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • I didn't feel jazzed about the Hobbit when it was announced, and once the whole trilogy thing developed I had nothing but two six-guns of vitriol. Then, inexplicably, a couple of days ago I saw a 15 or 30 second promo and blammo, I was a little kid totally excited about this, like verklempt excited. So, now when I see these typically lame character posters, I just feel a little giddy

  • That one with the axe in his head makes me want to do angry things. Like bury an axe in Peter Jackson's stupid head.

  • Hawkeye Fierce

    Mmmmm. Richard Armitage can Oaken my Shield till I'm too Thorin to walk.

    Please ignore this post.

  • frankly

    Starting right now I'm going to be asking my husband if this one is that one and that one is this one and "is he the one who" and "I thought he was the other one" and maybe by time the movie comes out he'll be so aggravated he'll go by himself.

  • damnitjanet

    Kili makes my pants happy.

  • Jannymac

    Kili and Thorin are nice, but Bofur is the only one I'd like to...ummm...date. He has eye crinkles and I'm a sucker for smiling eye crinkles.

  • BobbFrapples

    Wow! I thought Kili was supposed to be a young Aragorn.

  • zeke_the_pig


  • rhinobullet

    Reminds me of Oin's poster. Too obscure?

  • rhinobullet

    http://www.alvarezwax.com/Film... Sorry, image didn't post

  • wojtek

    I'm endlessly tickled by the ridiculous "Cartoon Dwarf, Cartoon Dwarf, Cartoon Dwarf, HOT DWARF, Cartoon Dwarf..." progression. And now on top of that I'm intrigued by Galadriel's fae tampon.

  • Garferty

    Thorin, Kili, Fili and Bofur apparently didn't get the memo about dwarfs not just being "guys with beards".

  • Malin

    Kili, the ridiculously hot dwarf. Seriously, Aidan Turner keeps looking like a cover model who got lost on the way to the photo shoot for a romance novel cover, and ended up being thrown in with the wierdly coiffed and bearded dwarves instead.

  • Kimi

    Kili makes my girly parts tingle

  • Rooks

    Again - How did they make Richard Armitage unattractive? How do you make boring, visually unengaging posters of the visually prettiest movie of the entire year? Or are these all just for the stickers one can find in hanuta and kinderChocolate after all?

  • poiuytrew

    Couldn't leave the ads at the side of the page? Oh well... one less site to read.

  • BWeaves

    They pay the bills and keep the site free. Don't complain.

  • tinad5

    I love Thorin, but that is not a good poster.

  • Aaron Schulz

    they seem grainy, why are they grainy. also val kilmer is a terrifying fat clown that eats smiles now.

  • Bula

    they all suck

  • Lauren_Lauren

    Eyebrow braids?
    Eyebrow braids?

  • jcoa2

    And they accuse the Elves of being the metrosexuals..

  • alwaysanswerb

    Mitchell, your Kili drag suits you

  • BendinIntheWind

    The Tolkien-verse is the one realm of nerdery that just completely eludes me. Never had an interest, haven't gotten around to watching LOTR, heretical, yes, I know.

    So take this with a big huge boulder of salt, but all the recent "Hobbit" imagery has just struck me as... annoying? The trailer was fine, but these one-sheets just look so cartoony and Disney-fied - I'm imagining them all (except for Smolder Guy and Smolder Guy #2) sliding down a bannister to a slide whistle.

  • BendinIntheWind

    Genuinely curious: are people disagreeing with my ignorance of "The Hobbit", or do you actually think these are good posters? Because one of those makes sense but the other is cuckoo crazy.

  • to be fair, character posters usually look both lame and overly photoshopped

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Well, Fili gets my vote for sexiest.

    that's Alan Tudyk playing Ori, right? and John C. Reilly as Dori?

  • finalcrisis2

    I can't be the only one who thought Galadriel was flipping everyone off.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    No, you're not.

  • MissAmynae

    I'd like a Thorin with a side of Kili, please. and yes, I WOULD like to Supersize that.

  • Dildo Buggers

    Wait, these aren't posters for the Spinal Tap sequel?

  • Artemis

    I still can't get over how perfect Martin Freeman is for this role and how I never noticed it before his casting was announced. Dude was born to be a hobbit.

  • Some of those dwarves are entirely too good looking to be dwarves. I assume that they're dwarf women since they are known to have beards.

  • Well, the Galadriel one is the least necessary since she's not in the movie.

  • Natallica

    She is in the movie, but not in the book

  • BWeaves

    I'll see your Galadriel and raise you a Radagast.

  • vic

    Actually, she is. In the trailer, she apparently has a scene where she asks Gandalf why he chose Bilbo.

  • PDamian

    That's some major league smoldering Thorin and Kili are doing.

  • malechai

    Nori is my pick for best. Mostly because as I get older (and I continue in my transformation into a Yeti), I too am rocking a glorious set of eyebrows. Am totes going to braid them into my hair like that. Practical *and* stylish.

  • Melissa D

    That cracked. me. UP!

  • duckandcover

    Mm, Kili ..

  • Ash

    Agreed. DAYUM.
    Plus the guy's Irish.

  • Mitchell Hundred

    I note an preponderance of facial hair in this post. The Internet will no doubt wish to speculate on the significance of that.

  • Rochelle

    November was originally begun by Tolkein - little known fact.

  • Rochelle

    Damn you autocorrect!!!!!!!! Movember!

  • BLA

    I was immediately thrown that the rhyming names aren't paired together. I want to fix it.

  • Tinkerville

    MADMARTIGAN! Actually, if Madmartigan made a guest appearance in The Hobbit that might be one of the greatest crossovers imaginable.

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