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Oh Child... You Always Knock Me for a Loop!

By Adam Lyon | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (16)

moretz-LetMeIn-vampEWfirstlooktsr2.jpg

Let The Right One In was a really interesting look at the vampire genre. Atmospheric, creepy, and entirely unsettling. And so much of that was the performance by Lina Leandersson. It was a role that could be tricky to pull off, but she brought it.
And that’s all fine and good for some weak European artsy fartsy crap. But in America, we want our jailbait vampires to kick some ass.

And who’s our favorite under-aged emasculator? Chloe Moretz, the murder machine best known as Hit Girl.

letmein-firstlookphoto-official-fulls.jpg

Oh… Well that’s not exactly what I expected. She doesn’t really look creepy or dangerous. I think that’s how most kids her age look all the time. Messy face, slack-jaw, always knocking on windows. This image is not really impressing me.

But you know what would? And I don’t really have any information on this but just follow me- Nic Cage as Håkan, the older man who harvests blood for Eli. It could really be the classic style of Cage character that’s just an accent and a haircut. A Swedish Chef accent and a Dutch Boy haircut.

(EW via The Playlist via Firstshowing)

And here’s a bonus photo from LAT

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Comments

Richard Jenkins is playing the Hakan character

Posted by: digitalboy at May 9, 2010 4:33 PM

I am so fucking pissed at this fucking remake. Fuck.

Jesus, why do they need to remake a perfectly gorgeous movie by turning it into subpar derivative CRAP UGH. Learn to read subtitles, Americans, learn to appreciate foreign shit. Learn how it feels to get my foot up your ass godfuckingdammitfuck.

Wow. I think I may have developed some anger issues just now. I'll, uh, just head back to my grad school misery, I guess.

Posted by: Fi at May 9, 2010 6:26 PM

I used to get wound up a bit at the Hollywood remakes of Euro movies, until I realized that many areas of the EU it's impossible to see an unaltered Hollywood movie (they have a serious rod up their ass about doing native language voice overs). So you know, fair is fair and all. I'm fine with it now.

Also, the weed helped.

-Frob

Posted by: frobme at May 9, 2010 7:38 PM

I have to shun anything to do with this.

Posted by: Cindy at May 9, 2010 8:45 PM

My life is ruined. I cant go on. The horror of it all.

Posted by: Glyn at May 9, 2010 8:56 PM

Oh, I see. It's because Americans as a people are stupid and lazy and don't know how to read and appreciate foreign media, that must be why someone is making this movie. It couldn't possibly be because some studio wants to make money by 'remaking' someone's film.

You know, we see so many of these that I have to ask: "Is it cheaper and will it make you more money to remake a foreign movie than if you just purchase the distribution rights and royalty splits and what not? Probably."...and thus they persist.

tl;dr version: Fuck you,Fi, you ignorant dick knuckle piece of judgmental shit.

Posted by: Salad Is Murder at May 9, 2010 11:35 PM

I wonder what American directors would do if they weren't allowed to use hoodies as shorthand for angst and/or loneliness.

Actually, my anger at remakes on principle aside, can someone explain why the owners of the original novel/movie/comic/etc keep allowing this to happen? Like, can someone follow the paper trail and tell me who sold away the original exactly? Because that's who I'm REALLY angry with. Is every single owner of an original foreign movie so hard-up for cash that they'll sell that shit out the minute they're offered the chance? SOMEONE HELP ME UNDERSTAND. Copyrights don't exist in a vacuum. Someone had to sell those rights. WHO WAS IT.

Posted by: Nat Kittyface at May 9, 2010 11:53 PM

It's obviously going to be totally crap and have some super moral ending. Hateful.

Posted by: chriso at May 10, 2010 3:03 AM

I'm wondering...based on that shot from LAT if they may be doing a literal remake. i.e. that Gus Van Sant piece of shit remake of Psycho. If that's the case this movie may have a huge potential for American audiences...as I think it will be done better than Psycho.

I know Owen (a.k.a. Oskar) is being played by Kodi Smit-McPhee and I didn't think he was that bad in The Road. However, Chloe Moretz was good in Kickass but I don't know if she can do creepy...like creepy, creepy.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at May 10, 2010 3:33 AM

Well, that Rubik's cube shot is virtually identical. Yeah, so much for bringing something new to this story.

(I don't hate the idea of a remake, so much as the fact that the original movie only just fucking came out. All this is doing is making it harder for future generations to even know there were two movies, which is horrible.)

Posted by: Grafty at May 10, 2010 5:39 AM

Didn't care about the first one, so this is just something else I don't care about.

Don't you wish you were me, you poor sufferers?

Posted by: Jay at May 10, 2010 9:33 AM

Why is Eli wearing a fucking hoodie and jacket? Wimp.

Posted by: Whatthe at May 10, 2010 9:54 AM

I think I just blew a bloodvessel and developed a tick at th same time...great. I'll be over here twitching if you need me.

Posted by: Blank at May 10, 2010 11:29 AM

Nic Cage as Hakan? Ugh, no thanks. I'd rather not see him covering himself in oil and trying to squeeze people.

...wait...(rereads article)

Oh, oh, OH! Right. Yeah. That guy from that movie. (I know, I'm sorry. I just had to make a Super Street Fighter IV joke. I had to. I can only retain a dignified and cultured veneer for only so long.)

But back to the article: Ugh, completely unnecessary remake. You just know they're going to completely ignore all the disturbing sexual stuff that made the original so captivating and replace it with safe, sugar-coated, family friendly bullshit. It'll even have the straightforward, super-happy ending.

And yeah, why the heck is Eli wearing a hoodie there anyway? She doesn't feel the cold! She's DEAD. Ugh, I can already divine the "safe" nature of the movie already.

Posted by: vic at May 11, 2010 12:12 AM

Why is Eli wearing a fucking hoodie and jacket? Wimp.
-Whatthe.

This. Eli's garb in the original was not due to budget constraints.

Posted by: The Only New Zealander at May 11, 2010 8:36 AM

I'm only interested in this movie to see how bad it's going to be. I absolutely love both the book and the original movie, so I feel like I have to see this movie just for the hell of it, and so I can be legitimately angry.

Posted by: Penelope at May 11, 2010 5:33 PM