Pajiba

I'm going to go slit my wrists now. Seriously, can they fuck up Homeric history any more?

It will never be as good as O Brother, Where Art Thou?. NEVER.

I'm not here to make a record, ya dumb cracker.

WHY? Just why? I get that you'd really have to focus on just a part of the poem rather than the whole thing to do it justice, but why mess with it more than necessary?

But, if they're going to screw up the original anyway, why not cast Bill Nighy as an aging sexaholic Odysseus (I'm thinking of his character in Love Actually). I've always sort of pictured Odysseus as a bit skeevy. He did get some hot nymph action, after all.

Why not Tim Curry?

As Penelope.

THIS!

that should be charybdis. sorry

It will never be as good as O Brother, Where Art Thou?. NEVER.

You can't do this to me! I'm the Pater Familias!

That movie was art.

How about someone who's possibly Homer Sexual.

Actually, you're right alpha, Liam Neeson would be great.

What a waste - why bother saying it has anything to do with the Odyssey and getting my hopes up? Just call it The Journey or something and fuck off.

Also, am I the only one who sat through the wreck that was Troy thinking Sean Bean was the awesomest part and that he should get his own Odyssey movie? As long as it had none of the other people from Troy involved... mmm Sean Bean.

superEdna, are you teaching the slow freshman? Because by the time I was 13/14 (I have a late birthday) I was already aware of the fact that movies and books should generally be considered separate artistic creations and won't be alike. It's like comparing a statue to a painting, they're gonna look different even if they're about the same thing. Of course, that's because after watching Disney movies, I got my hands on the Hans Christen Andersen/Borthers Grimm originals and warped my tiny brain.

Now I'm going to go listen to the O Brother, Where Art Thou soundtrack and pretend I never read this article.

Let's see:

1. Odysseus will return home to find that Ithaca (his home ISLAND) is controlled by a brutal invading force.

2. The scriptwriter for Nights of Rodanthe is involved.

3. There will be HORSES ON A BEACH.

Ladies, you're welcome.

I think they should just go urban and explore some interracial themes. I can see 50 Cent *ahem* Curtis Jackson as old Ody and Vera Farmiga as Penelope. The pitbull, Argos, should be voiced by Robin Williams for some of that Aladdin magic reprise. Let's round out the cast with Oscar bait like Blanchett as Athena and Ethan Hawke as Fiddy's main rival. Just for fun, let's see Stephen Baldwin in there somewhere.

*sigh*

In many ways, Rusty, yes.

I think most of them DO realize that movies and books are different, but they just like to be douchey and argue with me. Considering how few of my students voluntarily read, though, you just never know. It's sad that the only time I've seen any of them riled up over a movie adaptation of a book was for Twilight. Not even Harry Potter. T.W.I.L.I.G.H.T. Gotta get those sparkly virgin bloodsuckers right, dammit!!! ;)

Jacksepplin , I second your idea, but I say we take it to a whole new extreme.

Okay, Picture this. We let Baz Luhrmann direct. I want to see him do an updated version of The Odyssey. We can even bring in Terry Gilliam as a creative consultant to handle the freaky looking shit.

I like your idea - I can see it now:
"Homer's The Iliad, The Odyssey, The Black Adder".
Maybe get Laurie & Fry as shipmates...

SuperEdna

At least the teacher next door to you doesn't SHOW Hercules as a way of "introducing Greek mythology." My neighbor has been known to show Troy as well. Basically, this teacher's lesson plans read "Press Play" for about 100 of the state-mandated 180 school days per year.

And most of the movies are crap.

idgiepug, I have also known teachers like this, but fortunately don't have one as a neighbor this year. It sticks in my craw that people like that get paid the same salary I do, regarldess of how meager it is.

I vote Dennis Leary. I mean, he's okay looking for an asshole.

No wait, let me finish.

So picture it: Odysseus has been trying to get home for forever, he's had to deal with horny pop tarts (sirens sound pretty, look good from a distance, but shite up close--hello Katie Perry), some witch that turns normal men into animals (I'm looking at you Jenna Jameson), and an okay witch who had her own island but was named for a boat (Peaches Geldoff, maybe? She was named for a fruit, that's kinda similar).

So by the time he gets back he's ready to have his wife to himself, only he's got a son who wants to be his friend and a ton of fucks trying to bang his woman. Of course he's going to make witty but biting sarcastic gobbletygook at the camera and smoke and drink his way into being the poster child for the anti-hero (hey, he's got a head start on Rescue Me right?).

Also, he's a wiley fuck who likes to complain and can throw an insult like nobody's business.

I wished ever since I read the Iliad, Odyssey and Aeneid that HBO would step up and tell the stories in series. I went over the casting question in my head and couldn't really come up with much, though as I watched Deadwood I always pictured Ian McShane as Zeus and Gerald McRaney as Poseidon. He looks Poseidon-ish.

And on that note, Titus Welliver might make a pretty decent Odysseus if he bulked up a bit. As far as beards go, he's certainly got it covered. I think Josh Brolin fits the bill physically. Robert Downey Jr. could probably do a lot for the "charismatic fraudster" dimension. And Garret Dillahunt would have no problems on any of those fronts. I'd consider any one of those four.

Being sentimental though, I guess I'd like to see Welliver try it.

This is fun. For shits and grins:

Odysseus: Welliver/Brolin/RDJ/Dillahunt
Penelope: Molly Parker
Telemachus: Max Pirkis
Zeus: Ian McShane
Poseidon: Gerald McRaney
Calypso: Rosario Dawson
Circe: Polly Walker
Nestor: Brian Cox
Achilles (in the Kingdom of the Dead): Christian Bale
Ajax (in the Kingdom of the Dead): Ray Stevenson

Nadha,
I heard that myth, too, but the connection was a little south of the belly button.

"In early days, man did not walk from place to place. He rolled."
---
"In dust shalt thou roll ..."

"In dust ... roll ..."

"Rolls ... in ... dust ..."

"Dust ... in ... rolls."

-- Book of Pajibenesis

Chapter 1, verses 1-4

What can I say? It's something that popped up (pun intended) during a Classical Mythology class in college.