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Jessica Alba is a Focker And The Hipsters Ruin Everything!

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (22)



wtwta-costumes.jpg

Jessica Alba’s Ass Cheeks — they walk downstairs, alone and in pairs, and they makes that slinkity sound. — has joined the cast of the Meet the Parents second sequel, Little Fockers. She joins an array of talented and untalented actors alike — including Ben Stiller, Robert DeNiro, and Dustin Hoffman — who have loudly squandered away their dignity on the Fuckers series. In the third movie, directed by Paul Weitz, Stiller and his wife, played by Teri Pollo, are having a child. Alba’s Ass plays a pharmaceutical rep who “wreaks havoc on the male characters.” Exciting, huh? So much talent; so little G-string.

Meanwhile, a couple of folks have already put in their request for a Halloween costume ideas comment diversion. We ran one last year, and I’m not sure it’s worth doing another one, since there were so many excellent ideas last year. However, one costume that wasn’t available last year is this Max-for-Adults Wild Things costume, which retails for $610. Filmdrunk, rightfully so, takes hipsters to task for trying to ruin Where the Wild Things Are before it’s even been released. But then again, who — if not for hipster children — is Where the Wild Things Are for? Let Tom and Wilma MiddleAmerica have Monsters and Aliens. We culturally elitist douchebags will gladly inflict Spike Jonze on our crumbsnatchers. Check out the costume — I’m not saying it’s cool or worth $610. I’m just saying, if I were to mysteriously receive this costume in the mail, that I wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to wear it.


wtwta-costumes.jpg


In other news, Marc Webb — director of (500) Days of Summer — is negotiating to direct an American remake of the recently released Danish film, Just Another Love Story. “The film tells of a crime photographer who pretends to be the boyfriend of an amnesiac, only to face the wrath of the actual boyfriend when he finds out about the deception.” Not a terribly exciting logline, but the Danish film was a hit at Sundance ‘08. no one in America has apparently seen it, and Marc Webb is a solid director. I say: Win.

Finally, to steal another FilmDrunk find (originally found on OhHaveYouSeenThis) (although, Stace notes that she also posted one of these videos in PL two years ago) this video is kind of awesome. It’s a scene from “Wonder Years,” without Daniel Stern’s voiceover narration. Turns out, it’s just a bunch of awkward stares.










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Comments

I'll be the judge of that costume. It's not nearly as amazing as my homemade and extra special Max costume will be for Halloween. So take your $610 and save it for something useful. It's pretty basic enough of a costume as it is, so making it by hand shows you value creativity. It's a good thing.

Posted by: Kamikaze Feminist at September 30, 2009 8:36 PM

Seriously? That's like, what, $40 worth of terry cloth (at the outside) some buttons and maybe $10-$15 worth of faux fur for the tail. $610? That's insanity. You want, I'll give you my mom's contact info, she could hook you up for cheap. Hell, I could hook you up for cheap, it's a baggy onesie with ears.

And you will never convince me that Where the Wild Things Are is going to be better as a movie than a book. I don't care what "credentials" it has, it's such an elegantly simple book and I don't see there being anyway to translate that to the screen.

Posted by: Rusty (formerly Genny) at September 30, 2009 8:41 PM

$610!!!1!

Is it made from the wool of sheep that were only fed arugula and caviar, with an organic cotton lining and a genuine fox's tail (I disapprove) at the back? I mean, COME ON. "IN THIS ECONOMY??!??!?" Who the hell is spending that much money on a Halloween costume?

Fucking hipsters oughtta put that money in their retirement funds. They can't count on Social Security, you know!

Posted by: MM at September 30, 2009 8:44 PM

Wait, is this the same Marc Webb who did all those My Chemical Romance videos?

Posted by: Kara at September 30, 2009 8:54 PM

My mom is making me Max costume for Halloween. It is my secondary costume. the first costume I wear is for awesome pics, Im doing the Big Lebowski dream sequence with a friend. But I need something warmer to change into later in the night so I thought a costume with footie pajamas and a hood would be perfect.

Posted by: Jadashay at September 30, 2009 8:55 PM

I saw some girl in that Wild Things costume last year. She was ahead of the game.

Whatever. I'm being Betty Boop. Call me unimaginative, but I got to buy a new red dress. So there.

Posted by: Kate at September 30, 2009 8:58 PM

I spent over $200 for my Max costume. Thank you etsy.com. In all fairness, I purchased mine about 4 months ago, does that give me any excuse?

Posted by: Colin at September 30, 2009 9:54 PM

Oh. and fuck, I almost forgot. Mine at least comes with a crown.

Posted by: Colin at September 30, 2009 10:01 PM

There's no reason Oscar winners should even have lunch with Ben Stiller, much less make three movies with him. Couldn't Robert de Niro put a hit on Stiller?

Posted by: George at September 30, 2009 10:35 PM

I've got a ratty bathrobe, a pair of sunglasses and a fresh White Russian. My Halloween costume will be set, as soon as I can find a rug that pulls it all together.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at September 30, 2009 10:40 PM

Ahhh, the pharmaceutical rep! The high school cheerleader of the business world!!!!

Posted by: Hoodat at October 1, 2009 12:44 AM

Furries. Meh.

Posted by: trib at October 1, 2009 1:37 AM

Mrcreosote: This aggression will not stand, man!

Posted by: TylerDFC at October 1, 2009 7:23 AM

Hey, leave Middle America alone! Plenty of us like the quality stuff too, and I don't know a single person who isn't excited for Where the Wild Things Are.

[mumbles as she walks away, shaking her head]
Hipster elitists...

Posted by: lucy at October 1, 2009 8:26 AM

Jessica Alba’s Ass Cheeks — they walk downstairs, alone and in pairs, and they makes that slinkity sound. — has joined the cast of the Meet the Parents second ...

Meanwhile her boobs are thrusting perkily and occasionally heaving a bit, thus emoting the effort and deep character stuff of standing around in spandex pretending something-CG.

Her pouty lips are wrapping themselves around the occasional bit of dialog, between pulls at her ever-present extra large water bottle.

Her talent still hasn't been seen.

Actressin' - get it at your local infini-plex.

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at October 1, 2009 8:51 AM

I'm not excited about Where the Wild Things Are. I don't think the book is so great, either.

No, I'm not a professional curmudgeon, just a very talented amateur.

Posted by: Wednesday at October 1, 2009 9:45 AM

Wednesday,

I think you became a professional with that comment. Your union card is in the mail.

Posted by: ed newman at October 1, 2009 10:23 AM

I actually liked Meet the Parents quite a bit, but the second one was TERRIBLE.

Posted by: Eep at October 1, 2009 10:40 AM

Wednesday you are not alone.

Where the Wild Things Are holds no intereste for me either. Except as something to taunt my wife with. It's about time one of his childhood memories is raped and pillaged. He laughed when I felt pain over all the 80s cartoon movie remakes and then Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs.

Posted by: MadameUgly at October 1, 2009 12:10 PM

Well, I am a curmudgeon of some renown, and I agree with Wednesday. I never really understood the big deal about that book. And Yes, my daddy read it to me when I was wee. So it was part of my childhood.
And wasn't it a wolf costume anyway? What's with the raccoon thing with a fake fox tail? Am I wrong?

$610 for a costume is a voluntary tax on stupidity.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at October 1, 2009 1:53 PM

I never read the book as a kid, or even heard of it until last year, so I won't be seeing this film. I could say I would if it was a beloved book of mine, but I didn't see Bridge to Terabithia either, so who knows.

Go Eggers. That sums up my thoughts.

Posted by: Kate at October 1, 2009 3:45 PM

$610.00? and no whiskers? no crown?

Posted by: MissNev at October 1, 2009 7:41 PM


















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