Sometime last fall, I realized that 2009 would bring America not one but two movies about mall security guards. The first of these, Paul Blart: Mall Cop, opened a couple weeks ago and has already made $88 million domestically, more money than should possibly have been allowed. But that was a PG-rated fart-filled “family” flick, and Kevin James’ “Look how fat and wacky I am!” antics pale in comparison to the other mall cop movie of the year: Observe and Report, starring Seth Rogen as the central security guard. The red-band trailer is now out, and it features foul language, physical violence, drunken sex, and pretty much everything you’d expect from a Rogen comedy. It also looks pretty damn funny. It opens April 10:
Posted by: Abe Froman at February 9, 2009 11:38 AM
I feel like this could rile some people up. I mean, people got weird when Seth Rogan fucked Rainbow Killer, what happens now that it's an actress we actually like?
Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 9, 2009 11:43 AM
It makes me a tiny bit uncomfortable how obsessed Seth Rogen is with dick sucking jokes and drunk girls puking, but it makes me even more uncomfortable that I have a teeeeeny tiny crush on him, especially now that he's sporting super short hair and a bit more of a gut (I like 'em thick and clean cut).
I should just embrace the fact that watching that trailer made me smile. Except the puking/kissing stuff.
Posted by: Anastasia Beaverhausen at February 9, 2009 11:50 AM
Wow, that looks pretty awesome. If it's as good as Pineapple Express I'll definitely be happy.
Posted by: Snath at February 9, 2009 11:52 AM
I don't know, it seems to me its just as retarded as Paul Blart...though it may be my growing dislike for Seth Rogen...all in all very meh towards this
Posted by: DrunkPinkBat at February 9, 2009 11:53 AM
Watch this goes into the toilet, and Blart gets a sequel. Justice, if it was ever present in the first place, left Hollywood a loong time ago.
See, I really didn't think too much of Pineapple Express. It was no Zack and Miri. I like my comedies to be dirty, apparently.
Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 9, 2009 11:57 AM
You can't slam on Blart and then turn around and choke on Rogen's dick like that.
That's how I know you are gay.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 9, 2009 11:59 AM
That looks really fucking stupid and unfunny.
On the plus side it looks like Anna Faris got some nice new boobs.
Posted by: becks at February 9, 2009 12:13 PM
Why you stopping motherfucker???
Love it!!
Posted by: Alli at February 9, 2009 12:39 PM
Watch this goes into the toilet, and Blart gets a sequel
Yeah, Mike R., you just KNOW that is gonna happen. Hopefully, we'll be too busy fighting an alien or zombie or zombalien invasion to have to suffer that sequel.
The trailer made me giggle, so I'm open to this one...
Posted by: malikvlc at February 9, 2009 12:41 PM
I'm just kinda amazed to see Seth Rogen in something other than an out and out stoner comedy for a change.
Posted by: alphawhiskey at February 9, 2009 12:44 PM
Sorry, no, except for the fucking-a-drunk-Anna-Farris bit, this looks like sour ass.
Posted by: Jerce at February 9, 2009 12:51 PM
If Anna Faris will stick to stuff like this and Just Friends, it's not too late to shed that House Bunny stink. Not that Just Friends or Observe and Report look like the next coming of Stripes, but Just Friends was overall pretty funny and had its moments. A decent stream of serviceable comedies is all I'm asking for, and Faris shines in ensemble peices where she can be wild and not have to carry the movie.
Posted by: rikkitikkitavi at February 9, 2009 1:06 PM
It looks pretty funny. For some reason, I find Seth Rogen kinda hot. Normally not into chunky dudes with a 'fro, but he makes it work (yeah, I know he doesn't have the 'fro here, which is a plus, but normally, he's rockin' it).
I also thought, "Why you stoppin', motherfucker?" was funny. I suspect women think it's funnier than men do.
Posted by: Slash at February 9, 2009 1:13 PM
@ Anna
Thick and cleancut? You just described my favorite type of fries. None of that frilly shit or that lattice work. This ain't no backyard fence.
Also, I'm chubby and can't grow facial hair. Would you like to get a coffee?
Posted by: JakesAlterEgo at February 9, 2009 1:50 PM
I'm just bored with the whole Rogen-schtick. It's ok, but gets boring after a few repetitions.
Optimus, you're forgetting Elisabeth Banks. I mean...which world does this happen in? I don't mean to say that pretty women are shallow, but...his characters are always losers or stoners, not particularly intelligent or charming, so please tell me how he would attract beautiful smart confident women?! I really want to know.
Posted by: Joker at February 9, 2009 3:14 PM
I fucking love Anna Faris.
Anyone else get a weird Tarantino-esque vibe from the trailer? It was probably just the tone and background music, but it totally played like Tarantino if he were to make a straight-up romantic comedy.
JakesAlterEgo Yes, I would like to. Because you made me laugh. You know how that works. But I have to warn you, I DO like my fries all frilly and latticed and extremely hot and just salty enough, not too salty and just very slightly greasy.
Great. Now I'm hungry AND turned on.
Posted by: Anastasia Beaverhausen at February 9, 2009 3:24 PM
"his characters are always losers or stoners, not particularly intelligent or charming, so please tell me how he would attract beautiful smart confident women?! I really want to know."
Ask my wife. It's been one of my life's great mysteries, for which I am eternally grateful.
Jay Generally. Unless they are a family member, then all bets are off.
Posted by: Anastasia Beaverhausen at February 9, 2009 3:34 PM
TK I don't care what you say, I refuse to believe that you're a loser/stoner/un-charming/stupid.
I'm starting to suspect that I'm shallow for being attracted to intelligent, funny, confident, ambitious men.
Posted by: Joker at February 9, 2009 3:35 PM
Fair enough.
I feel very strongly about fry thieves. Well, taking anything off my plate, really, but fries are the most common victim. And it's not just women, I've got a male friend who'd always be putting his hand in my popcorn (that almost sounds euphemistic!) and eventually I just stopped buying it if we saw a movie together as my shouting and smacking didn't deter him.
"It makes me a tiny bit uncomfortable how obsessed Seth Rogen is with dick sucking jokes and drunk girls puking, but it makes me even more uncomfortable that I have a teeeeeny tiny crush on him, especially now that he's sporting super short hair and a bit more of a gut (I like 'em thick and clean cut)." - Anastasia Beaverhausen
GOD BLESS WOMEN LIKE YOU!!
Posted by: Sam at February 9, 2009 4:12 PM
Jay: Cut a hole in the bottom of the popcorn and insert your penis. Your friend will never steal your popcorn again. Or you'll get lucky. It's really win-win.
Posted by: stipe42 at February 9, 2009 4:36 PM
Hey, we're fairly close, but that doesn't mean I want a handjob from the guy.
I'm sorry. This won't work. I could deal with the extra salt and very hot--in fact, I encourage it--but I will not dally with a lattice lover.
Posted by: JakesAlterEgo at February 9, 2009 4:47 PM
I know a lot of women who like men with a bit of meat on their bones. Or maybe more than a bit, that's fine. My hairstylist won't even go out with a guy unless he's on the chubby side. You guys know Darryl on The Office? The warehouse manager? HE is HOT. Rowr. Like a great big chew toy.
The one thing I regret is ignoring all those super skinny guys in high school. I now know, thanks to facebook, that 20 years later they FILL OUT! Damn. Who knew???
Posted by: Anastasia Beaverhausen at February 9, 2009 9:18 PM
Ah JakesAlterEgo my internet romance is snuffed out so soon! All for the love of the waffley!
Posted by: Anastasia Beaverhausen at February 9, 2009 9:20 PM
I've liked Seth Rogen ever since Freaks. On a scale of Rogen comedies, Pineapple Express wasn't much to marvel at. I even got stoned for that one, and that is a leisure I only partake in once or twice a year. On a scale with all the other shit out there, Pineapple Express is top shelf. Or at least on display on the counter below the top shelf. It sure ain't the shit in the well or the vitriol degreasing the gunk neath the spirit ditch.
I'll continue to give Rogen a pass. Even though he may turn out to be more like Larry the Cable Guy rather than Liz Lemon, so long as he keeps delivering the earnestness, I'm having another.
And Anna Faris was hot. Who knows if she's funny? There just aren't that many good female comedy roles out there, apparently, unless you're writing them yourself.
Who am I kidding? She's still hot. I don't have to see them naked and even if the Devil and Buddha had Senor Godtopus shanked by a host of Hinayana angels, what I am certain of is that fake boobs have a way of cornering a man into submission. In The Dark. Not that any of us coming to this site would know by any legitimate means.
Posted by: Jackseppelin at February 9, 2009 9:36 PM
Anna Faris is the funniest part of that trailer -- and I love Seth Rogen.
Posted by: Lizzie (greeneyed fem) at February 9, 2009 11:12 PM
fake boobs have a way of cornering a man into submission
But fake boobs are not hot. If anything they're something to try to ignore, if not a titillation deal breaker.
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So, when exactly did Anna Faris get...those?