padma_beanstockd.jpg
The Huge Motherf**king, Whale-Sized Biggest Loser


Plus the Return of "Top Chef Masters" / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | October 22, 2009 | Comments (26)


Here’s a few items of note in the television world to end your day on: Lisa Kudrow, the only “Friend” who hasn’t been in the trades the last couple of months, is now developing a Showtime comedy based on Craig Chester’s memoir, Why the Long Face? The book “is the story of his childhood as the gay son in a family of born-again Christian parents and his experiences as a thesp in the indie film world.” The show, however, will be from the perspective of a nine-year-old Chester, who’s coming to terms with his sexual orientation while dealing with a devout mom who has visions of Christ and a rock ‘n’ roll guitar-player dad who fears that his wife is losing her mind.

There’s no word if Kudrow will actually star in it, though if she did, I suspect she’d be the Mom. Don Roos (The Opposite of Sex, Bounce) is on board to direct should Showtime pick up the show.

In other news, Ashlee Simpson-Wentz is leaving “Melrose Place” in January, while Heather Locklear’s episodes begin in November. Nobody fucking cares. Not even a little bit.

Elsewhere, Bravo has picked up a second cycle of “Top Chef Masters,” which pits famous chefs against each other, and that’s not nearly as good as “Top Chef,” but it’ll do in a pinch. The obnoxious set of judges — James Oseland, food critic Jay Rayner, restaurant critic Gael Greene, and Gail Simmons of Food & Wine magazine — will return as judges.

Meanwhile, ABC is hoping to cash in on the weird popularity of “The Biggest Loser,” which announced its own spin-off earlier this week. The network has teamed up with “The Biggest Loser’s” executive producer J.D. Roth to create a show tentatively titled “Obese,” which will follow a year in the lives of morbidly obese people who attempt to shed, literally, hundreds of pounds. Yes: ABC is now treading on TLC’s territory. There will be six stand-alone documentary-style episodes, each of which will focus on one person’s 365-day journey toward 40 pounds of loose skin.

You think it’s a coincidence that a weight-loss show was announced on the same day as another cooking show? Hours and hours of entertainment watching people putting the pounds on, and then taking them off! That reminds me, actually: The NY Times ran an article a month or so ago about Padma Lakshmi and other cooking show judges and food critics and their problems with keeping the weight off. I believe that Padma admitted that she gained around 30 pounds during each cycle of the show. And yes: Who could tell?


Pajiba After Dark 10/22/09 | Marc Webb Directs New Weezer Video





Comments

I consider myself pretty heterosexual but I would make sweet, sweet love to Padma Lakshmi. Even though I've heard people with traumatic brain injury talk faster than her. (Luckily, the need for talking in my fantasy is minimal.)

Posted by: Cruise at October 22, 2009 9:14 PM

I consider myself pretty heterosexual but I would make sweet, sweet love to Padma Lakshmi.

wait, what?
am i just high?
does that make sense to you guys?

Posted by: gp at October 22, 2009 9:43 PM

ah! i get it: Cruise is female.

duh.

(i am a little high)

Posted by: gp at October 22, 2009 9:49 PM

[quote] Bravo has picked up a second cycle of “Top Chef Masters,” which pits famous chefs against each other, and that’s not nearly as good as “Top Chef,” but it’ll do in a pinch[/quote]
Pardon me, but that is so wrong
Top Chef Masters is way better than its bastard progeny. No backstabbing or foams and mad, I say MAD gastronomical skills. I loved Top Chef Masters. TC on the other hand always casts d bags that either cannot cook or compete or both.

Posted by: mamitabrujita at October 22, 2009 10:02 PM

You take that back about Gail Simmons being obnoxious, you hear me? Girl is Joan Holloway who doesn't wait to be told to eat, and anything she does or says is just fine and dandy, m'kay?! M'kay. I'm glad we got that said.

Posted by: sansho1 at October 22, 2009 11:01 PM

I am going to admit that I'm ridiculously jealous of Padma Lakshmi. She's tall, gorgeous, has great hair, probably never sunburns, and her job is to eat. TO EAT. And occasionally say stuff, but mostly eating. And no, I can't tell she's gaining weight which means either wardrobe is doing and amazing job or she's not human. I gained 15 pounds while I was living in Ireland because of the Guinness and the amazing dairy products and oh right, more Guinness and do you know what my mom asked me when she saw me? She asked if I was pregnant. And she was serious. Padma puts on twice that and still looks like something that walked off the runway to snack on gourmet dishes while making the kind of observations you expect out of a particularly bright second grader.

So yeah, I'm very jealous of Ms.Lakshmi. But then again, I've never had to give a hummer to Salman Rushdie, so maybe it evens out.

Posted by: Intern Rusty at October 22, 2009 11:17 PM

Here's how it is:


FUCK PADMA, this, SKANK, has no business judging any cook that works for a living. FUCK HER WHORE ASS.

FUCK Tom Collicdouche, his restaurant cred is non-existent.

FUCK DUSTIN ROWLES, just because.

FUCK YOU all.


yeah and FUCK Dustin Rowles.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 22, 2009 11:18 PM

[quote]

Here's how it is:


FUCK PADMA, this, SKANK, has no business judging any cook that works for a living. FUCK HER WHORE ASS.

FUCK Tom Collicdouche, his restaurant cred is non-existent.

FUCK DUSTIN ROWLES, just because.

FUCK YOU all.


yeah and FUCK Dustin Rowles.
[/quote]

Tell us what you really think. Don't hold back.

Posted by: Alex at October 22, 2009 11:32 PM

:)

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 23, 2009 12:04 AM

I second the Gail Simmons love. She's the only personable judge that's ever been on that show.

Posted by: commanderfunky at October 23, 2009 12:07 AM

Is this Padma person the lady in the photo accompanying this article? If so, then yes, okat, carry on gushing.

Posted by: Daniel Hall at October 23, 2009 12:14 AM

I second the Gail Simmons love. She's the only personable judge that's ever been on that show.

Posted by: commanderfunky at October 23, 2009 12:07 AM

------------------------------------------

At the risk of encouraging the Pajibatte hatred. Gail was a hottie until she was DESTROYED completely by allowing herself to get sperminated, last season. Now, it's completely impossible to jack-off to her, thinking how her vagina was completely destroyed by her bourgeois need to breed.
So basically, you have, Tom Coldouchebag, Padtampax and maybe the homo from that "we are gonna make you look like a queer" show judging people who who really work for a living on shit that they work on every FUCKING day.

THIS is what this world is coming to? Some fat asshole, a skank, and a homo validating your life's work?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 23, 2009 12:43 AM

I hate that Padma whatsherface is so damn gorgeous. It's not fair, dammit.

But sheeeeesh, Slim....I hate my share of celebrities, too, but what did the Top Chef people do to you? I'm not condemning you or anything, I'm honestly curious. I'm just kind of amazed at the level of rage directed at...well, those people in particular. Maybe I need to watch the show to get it.

Posted by: figgy at October 23, 2009 12:59 AM

I'm sorry, I don't do the Facebook thing ... who's the Pajibette in the photo?

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at October 23, 2009 1:03 AM

Some fat asshole, a skank, and a homo validating your life's work?

Wait, Slim, are you taking about the show or do you mean the government? Cause it kind of fits don't it?

Posted by: DeistBrawler at October 23, 2009 1:04 AM

I'd like to penetrate the catacombs of her Pankot Palace...


(I had more but I spent 30 minutes reading every piece of Indiana Jones related material on Wikipedia... JOOOOOOONES!!)

Posted by: D-Day at October 23, 2009 1:28 AM

“Obese,” which will follow a year in the lives of morbidly obese people who attempt to shed, literally, hundreds of pounds. Yes: ABC is now treading on TLC’s territory. There will be six stand-alone documentary-style episodes, each of which will focus on one person’s 365-day journey toward 40 pounds of loose skin.

I just threw up in my fucking mouth.
I hate the fucking networks, the people who run them and the advertisers who support them and the people who buy the goddamned products from the sponsors and watch this stream of bile that spews from the electronic, digital, flat screen anus in their living room every stinking hour of the fucking day.
I have been good and patient and understanding but it has gotten to the point where I am ready to pistol whip every fucking one of you ignorant, spaghetti slurping, truck driving, t-shirt wearing, beer bellied, k-mart blue light special buying, short bus riding, mouth breathing, cousin humping sons of bitches into a goddamned coma and single handedly bring back Playhouse 90 so that your kids (the kids that you plop down in front of the fucking idiot box so that they can watch Nickel-fucking-ODEON while you play "Arkham Asylum") can see some quality television... if they have to watch TV at all.
Meh, fuck it.
I've made these rants before.
Take care of your babies.

Posted by: Spender at October 23, 2009 2:06 AM

Maybe you wanna check out or tell your friends.

Posted by: Helen at October 23, 2009 2:16 AM

Yes, Helen-Bot.
I want to check out.

Posted by: Spender at October 23, 2009 2:18 AM

Spender
Just what in the hell is wrong with spaghetti slurping, truck driving, t-shirt wearing, beer bellied, k-mart blue light special buying,...mouth breathing
Spaghetti is fucking delicious I say. Delicious. While not as good as lasagna (it is a bastard cousin), I say there is nothing wrong with spaghetti.
Truck driving? Define the truck. Are you talking a semi or some nice old beat up Chevy or Ford? If its the latter, honestly, you've never lived until you've been in a truck bed pool.
T-shirt wearing? What the fuck is wrong with a t-shirt? Really? I hope to god you're not one of those that actually tucks your t-shirt in (if you even wear t-shirts that is). T-shirts? Just go to T-Shirt Hell. No really...the website.
Beer bellied. Now sir...I am sure there are plenty of men on this site that sport the beer belly. I myself do. As I tell the ladies, "Hey, at least you know what I'm going to look like when I'm fifty." Not to mention that whole saying, "I said fuck the six pack, I went for the whole keg." Plus...I can't give up the beer...its like my blood.
K-Mart? Again, some of us don't have the money for those fancy places. In fact, some of us don't have any money at all. I can't even remember the last time I bought clothes...come to think of it I can't even remember the last time I bought food. Now beer? That was yesterday. I bought cigarettes today.
Mouth breathing? Now I know breathing with your nose is a much better option but really? Are you actually condemning everyone who breathes through their mouth? Really? How are you supposed to swim?
PLUS it seems like you are trying to stereotype the South for some reason. I mean...just by your description...those are stereotypical responses to the South. If that is the case you may want to include: tobacco chewing, cowboy boot wearing, trucker hat sporting, mountain man bearding, gun carrying, fried food eating, tractor pulling, monster truck watching, wrastling spectating, and maybe moonshine drinking...just saying. I think who you were really trying to touch on was the "obese" thing. If that's the case. You know that's a dead argument here on Pajiba. We got a lot of us fatties around, and around these parts we tend to try to go more with a "love" aspect. As in fucking love everone or we will hunt you down and smother you to death...with our fat. Again...just saying. No one tells you to watch those shoes. Just like no one really cared for "Reading Rainbow" either...I did...but now my children will never get to watch it.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at October 23, 2009 3:14 AM

Goddamnit, Deist... I just sprayed Miller fuckin' High Life right outta my nose.
Shame on you for making me laugh my fucking ass off while I'm tryin' to be all righteous up in here, you knob-gobblin' uncle fucker.
As an Abilene, Texas native, I have to say that your underhanded tactics trump my rant and having "The Pusher" as the intro music on yer bloggy-thing makes you the winner of this cage match.
I'll gitcha next time, man.

Posted by: Spender at October 23, 2009 3:54 AM

That was awesome. I love a quick, good-spirited slapflight that ends with grudging respect.

Posted by: Kballs at October 23, 2009 8:07 AM

Well, if Padma is like me, her 30 lb weight gain was done like this:

Gain 1 lb, lose 1 lb, lather, rinse, repeat 28 more times.

Posted by: BWeaves at October 23, 2009 9:28 AM

I like both shows. Top Chef Masters has way less drama, but better cooking. Top Chef always has a moron or two, but there's always somebody to root for.

And I don't think you can really qualify it as composed of "people who can't cook." Several of the contestants have worked for *very* good restaurants (Jennifer on this season works for Eric Ripert)...they can cook.

The only thing that bugs me, and it drives me out of my goddamn mind, is that they ALWAYS play the "Erica" Glad storage ad during Top Chef, around the 45-minute mark. OK, I get it, Glad is a major sponsor. But "Erica" cooks a fucking hot dog, mac and cheese, and frozen peas and carrots, and we're supposed to be impressed by her mad cooking skillz, presumably imparted by her genius-like use of Gladware? GLAD DO YOU KNOW WHAT SHOW YOU ARE SPONSORING? Sure, I'm more likely to personally cook mac and cheese than I am some exotic ostrich-based entree...but I don't aspire to mac and cheese and hot dogs.

Posted by: Wednesday at October 23, 2009 9:56 AM

*applauds Spender and Deistbrawler*

Now THAT was better than ANYthing on TV.

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at October 23, 2009 10:51 AM

Who cares!!! My boyfriend also agrees with me. He is 10 years older than me, lol. We met online at age-gap club -- http://AgelessOnly.COM/. Maybe you wanna check out or tell your friends.

Posted by: Loanna at October 23, 2009 11:52 AM

10 years is not an age gap unless she's 10 and you're 20.

My favorite age gap story is: My grandmother's favorite actress was Beatrice Lillie (1894–1989). In her retirement years, Ms. Lillie would collect news articles with funny twists. Her favorite one was a 90 year old man who married a 20 year old woman. The groom's gift to his bride was an antique pendant.

Posted by: BWeaves at October 23, 2009 1:24 PM





Post a comment

 (required)

 (required)


Preview of your comment:



Video ads popping up after each page view? Try clearing your browser's cookies.