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Ben Stiller, There's Hope for You Yet

By TK | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (8)

Ben_Stiller.jpg

It’s time again for my favorite game, Celebrity Word Jumble!

The history behind Trump Heist is a weird one. It started out as a sort of Ocean’s 11 for the African-American set. Then that angle was dumped, and Ben Stiller was in talks for the lead. It’s about a couple of janitors who hatch a plan to rob Donald Trump — of his money, not his dignity. The latter he lost years ago. They found a director in Brett Ratner, and I automatically threw the idea into my mental trash can, because seriously? Ben Stiller and Brett Ratner? Stiller can occasionally surprise me with roles like those in Greenberg and Tropic Thunder, but we’re getting fewer of those and more Night at the Museums and Fokker movies, and I now want to strangle entire towns whenever I see his face. Ratner, though? No. The man is complete shit. He gave us Rush Hour, which was fun, and then promptly devoured every idea that was put in his path and shit out horrid, stinking piles of failure ever since then.

But now Universal has decided to rewrite the script, to give it a more… um… humanitarian bent. Whatever that means. Apparently, now the story is about them stealing from the main tenant in a building who is ripping off the employee pension fund, and the flick will possibly be re-titled Tower Heist. The new writer? Noah Baumbach.

Wait, what? Baumbach is a phenomenal writer, having adapted The Fantastic Mr. Fox and written The Squid and the Whale, and Margot at the Weddine (the latter two he directed as well, as well as directed Stiller in Greenburg). So we’re officially in “who the fuck knows” territory now.

So yeah. Stiller. Ratner. Baumbach. I am completely friggin’ baffled. I’d say I have a bit of hope for the project, except that I can already see the imminent, relentless Ratnerfucking that will ruin it.









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Comments

By "humanitarian," they mean "whiter."

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at February 22, 2010 10:02 AM

Of course he does Tracer. They're not shooting a Black Eyed Peas video or whatever it is all the not-whites listen to these days.

Posted by: PissBoy at February 22, 2010 10:08 AM

...and the insurance will be lower. I mean, honestly, do you want Chris Brown (and his inexplicable burgeoning movie career) salpping around/choking the craft services girls?

Posted by: PissBoy at February 22, 2010 10:09 AM

I concur with Tracer. Crackerier but with a moral. We can all laugh but still learn a valuable lesson. What's the lesson? That Stiller will take more of your money than the guy the protagonists are stealing from does.

Posted by: admin at February 22, 2010 10:11 AM

They're doing a big budget quirky heist with heart? And no one tried to get Wes Anderson? He got a good performance out of Ben Stiller too. I imagine they called but he was too busy playing with puppets, out in the shed or something.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 22, 2010 10:18 AM

The reason janitors are janitors is because they're not friggin' brain surgeons. I'm sorry, but janitors do not success in robbing white collar execs, because white collar execs don't keep their money lying around their condos. It's hidden in Swiss bank accounts and real estate. Unless the janitors are also expert computer hackers, it ain't gonna work.

Posted by: BWeaves at February 22, 2010 10:44 AM

succeed. not success. Arg!

Benny Hill, "Nothing succeeds like like a budgie with no teeth."

Posted by: BWeaves at February 22, 2010 10:46 AM

sounds like the male version of Mad Money but less Queen Latifah-ey and more Diane Keaton-ey

Posted by: Taylor at February 22, 2010 1:19 PM