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No, You Suck!

By | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (22)

you-suck.jpg

There’s a few names that will always generate a response in PajibaLand. Katherine Heigl will create a little discussion. Michael Bay will spawn some dick jokes. But two men are always guaranteed to raise bile in Pajiban throats: Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer.
If the names don’t ring any bells, their work will. It speaks for itself — Scary Movie, Date Movie, Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans.

Feeling a little hate towards them? Think of what they did to poor Alyson Hannigan.

But now it gets worse. They’re doing a “vampire-themed” comedy. They’re filming it ASAP to get in on the hype and it’s going to be titled Vampires Suck and it already casted Ken Jeong. No surprise there.

Side Note: Did you see him on the MTV Awards? His speech really won me over. There’s some heart behind that buffoonery. Plus, Le Tigre was awesome in “Modern Warfare” on Community. In conclusion, better than this movie.

Back to the vampires. It’s a topic that’s ripe for parody. I’m actually surprised that no one has made a comedy about them yet.

OH WAIT! It was called Dracula: Dead and Loving It. And it came from the master, Mel Brooks.

But I’m not even mad that they’re making fun of vampires. It’s just that all it’ll be is a clusterfuck of topical humor.

Ok, loyal readers, here’s a fun game. What low-hanging fruit will they poke fun at this time? I’m going to say Obama, Jersey Shore, and the KFC Double Down. But you can do better, right?

(via Box Office Mojo)









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Comments

Didn't some kind of Eurotrash spoofy vampire movie come out last year? Transylmania! Thanks IMDB.

Posted by: Ulterior Motive Girl at June 10, 2010 6:20 PM

Obama? Jeez, do you think we're still in 2008?
Nah, we'll get Sarah Palin, Snuggies, Tiger Wood's penis, and hybrid cars. And just for fun, Bruno/Borat dancing with the Paranormal Activity couple.

Posted by: Jim Doggie at June 10, 2010 6:21 PM

Dammit! I love Ken Jeong, and he's been on such a run lately. Please god, don't let them do to him what they've done to basically every other actor in their movies.

Did you see the special feature on the Knocked Up DVD where he just basically screams and Katherine Heigl and Seth Rogen for five minutes? Kills me every time!

Posted by: ChristianH at June 10, 2010 6:27 PM

Well...at least it's not called Vampire Movie. That's about the best I can say, though...

Posted by: Case at June 10, 2010 6:45 PM

I vote for Iron Man 2, the BP oil spill, Tropic Thunder/Les Grossman, Marmaduke, Gary Coleman and/or Golden Girls, at least one trailer for a film coming out in a few weeks, and the very obvious choice....

Lady Fucking Gaga. No way they let her get away.

Posted by: Vermillion at June 10, 2010 6:55 PM

Oh and of course: NBC and the Leno/Conan fight. And if they do Tiger Woods, they gotta go after Jesse James and Sandra Bullock.

Shit, ere is another one: a random big black guy and white woman as a stand in for The Blind Side.

The sad thing about this game? It would be very difficult to lose.

Posted by: Vermillion at June 10, 2010 6:58 PM

Ok, so vampires: Obviously the hook is a spoof on Twilight, True Blood and the other teen/tween vampire franchises of recent years.

As for random "funny" references:

- The Hangover
- Leno/Conan
- Glee (in fact, I'm willing to bet body parts they do some big Glee-like musical number)
- Justin Bieber (not make fun...he's gonna make a cameo)
- Lindsay Lohan

Posted by: Fredo at June 10, 2010 7:10 PM

OH WAIT! It was called Dracula: Dead and Loving It. And it came from the master, Mel Brooks.

Or perhaps Love at First Bite. Or maybe Once Bitten.

Posted by: JustBill at June 10, 2010 7:12 PM

what did they do to alyson hannigan?

Posted by: idleprimate at June 10, 2010 7:24 PM

They killed her, idleprimate. I guess you didn't hear. Literally, they murdered her, to death.

Posted by: chayes at June 10, 2010 7:55 PM

The Na'vi from Avatar fighting Transformers

Posted by: me at June 10, 2010 8:25 PM

I could see Vampire Movie riffing on the BP oil spill only in true scatalogical "Movie" fashion it won't be oil.

Also, look for Tony Cox to be cast as ex-child celebrity possibly murdered by his crazy wife (played by Carmen Electra).

Posted by: Irving Washington at June 10, 2010 8:29 PM

How would they parody Lady Gaga? She is so over the top, I don't know what they could do besides flat out imitation.

Posted by: ERM at June 10, 2010 9:27 PM

So I guess that means they'll just do a flat out imitation of Lady Gaga and have her get hit by a bus. Because that's their level of creative.

Posted by: ERM at June 10, 2010 9:45 PM

i have a quadruple cross over proposal for this channel the spirit of the real Vlad the Impaler Dracula himself and the blood countess bathory, Dracula's fictional namesake add in the half angel half demon sexy vampires of the kith and kynn series and their allies the sexy beast Chanku species by devyn quin and combine them with the vampire werewolf alliance from twilight and the cast of Ugly Americans and sic them on the too losers. i won't include van helsing or vampire and werewolf slayers

Posted by: Utah Dynamo at June 10, 2010 10:33 PM

It's EL Tigre, and Ken Jeong may be totally over the top, but he has some charm, it's awesome that he's also a doctor, and I'm glad to hear that he seems decent as a human being (regardless of his skills as an actor).

And Christopher Moore did You Suck 3 years ago. So, you know. Suck it.

Posted by: dsbs at June 10, 2010 10:34 PM

will we see sarah palin hillary clinton and condeleeza rice become lesbian vampires? i hope it's better then that nasty dracula's dirty daughter porno i wasted.

Posted by: Utah Dynamo at June 10, 2010 10:43 PM

Lady Caca is a parody of herself.

Posted by: Case at June 10, 2010 11:09 PM

Dead and Loving it sucked ass as does all latter offerings from Brooks

Posted by: Jack Random at June 11, 2010 12:41 AM

Blacula? Anyone?

Posted by: Anna von Beaversmack at June 11, 2010 8:56 AM

Let me fix that for ya:

OH WAIT! It was called Dracula: Dead and Loving It Fearless Vampire Killers. And it came from the master, Mel Brooks. And it was made in 1967.

I feel better now. Sure, it doesn't get rid of this new shit project, but it does remind me of the awful musical based on Fearless Vampire Killers, Dance of the Vampires, which is always good for a laugh.

Posted by: Robert at June 11, 2010 9:57 AM

How about a "These Dudes Suck Movie"; a 90 minute "mockumentary" style film featuring the camera trained on these guys and their...writing team (for lack of a better term) while they struggle and strain to laboriously create endless lame gags and pitifully weak jokes built on easy, flimsy premises? It'd be every bit as entertaining and funny as anything else they've done, plus they could donate the money they saved on actors and sets to a worthy charity of some kind, thereby rendering their existence a little bit less useless.

Posted by: Churston Winsthill at June 12, 2010 3:13 PM