I am not the sort of person who watches “Star Trek,” not that there’s anything wrong with those people (“Welcome. Nanoo. Nanoo!”). In fact, I’ve only seen one of the “Star Trek” movies - the one with campfire songs or something, and even then I spent most of it making out. I can’t tell you what happened in the film, but I can tell you that Charity Pohnka wore a white bra. (Note to Trekkies: Second base is awesome). That doesn’t mean I haven’t developed an appreciate for William Shatner, mostly from “Boston Legal” (Denny Crane) and his phenomenal Ben-Folds produced album.
Anyway, I suspect I will, ultimately, force myself to watch the J.J. Abrams “Star Trek,” if only because of Simon Pegg and, well, I like the Abrams. Sadly, Shatner will not be making an appearance. With respect to that, J.J. Abrams got a little snarky, I thought, saying basically that Shatner wanted more than a cameo, but that he didn’t have a way of writing him in, what with the fact that Shatner died (isn’t the new “Star Trek” a prequel?). Anyway, the whole “Star Trek” thing is over my paygrade, so I’ll just let you listen to Shatner tit for his tat. Shatner is kind of senile, but he’s all kinds of awesome.
Shatner is superior to mere mortals in all possible ways.
As far as the Abrams' Trek, "Starship Bugaloo" is concerned, not having the courtesy to write the man in just fucking guarantees the core audience for Trek will shun it.
Fuck JJ Abrams, fuck him up, his dirty ass, and his Trek.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 19, 2008 9:15 AM
I don't know. He didn't sound senile to me. He sounded like he was really brown nosing to get into the prequel sequel. And I loved his description of how HE brought Kirk back to life. He couldn't even remember what the transporter was called. hahaha.
Posted by: BWeaves at September 19, 2008 9:19 AM
Fun Fact: People, according to TP's wiki entry, JJ personally ASKED Tyler Perry to be in the new Star Trek... No Shatner, but bring on Madea in Space MF'ers!
That is all!
Posted by: JR at September 19, 2008 9:44 AM
I really hope it wasn't "Wrath of Khan" you were at because if so you missed a great film while boldly going where many men have gone before (apologies to Charity Pohnka but letting a guy grope you in the cinema is just nasty).
Posted by: PaddyDog at September 19, 2008 9:45 AM
Shatner was, is, and always will be, the core of Star Trek, to many people. My mother included. He can pretty much do no wrong in my book, and JJ is shooting himself in the foot by not finding a way to work him in.
Posted by: The Kilted Yaksman at September 19, 2008 9:45 AM
Shatner is all things to all people. I hear he even defeated 21 ninjas with only his belt buckle when they were trying to steal his horse.
I am attempting to have him elected Emperor of Canada. We don't need government, the senate parliament or any of that bullshit. We just need Shat!
Posted by: Admin11 at September 19, 2008 9:54 AM
Much as I love most of the stuff JJ does, he must bow down to the Shat. No one can compare. He's got that old school star thing going. He's smart, he has no problems mocking himself, and his portrayal of Denny Crane is perfection.
Posted by: Cindy at September 19, 2008 9:58 AM
Heh, wish I could have made out during Star Trek 5 in order to forget that piece of shit.
Posted by: Jim at September 19, 2008 10:19 AM
Are we all forgetting the hot mess that was Generations? Shat showed up on a horse, than he and Professor Xavier rode around a ranch before Shat fell off of a scaffolding and died trying to stop Malcolm McDowell's evil plan which involved something time-travel related, naturally. It was RIVETTING. How could JJ NOT want to recapture that magic?
Posted by: TylerDFC at September 19, 2008 10:22 AM
I hope JJ follows the main Star Trek rule - Stay On The Enterprise. Once you get off the Enterprise, the movies all go tits up. Except for IV. IV was good.
What about Jean-Luc?! Screw the Shat...I want my Cpt. Picard.
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Posted by: linda at September 19, 2008 11:28 AM
What about that tower?
You worry about those fighters! I'll worry about the tower.
Posted by: Lucas at September 19, 2008 11:30 AM
Cut the chatter, Red Two!
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 19, 2008 11:43 AM
You did not just equate Star Trek with Mork did you? You are dead to me. And you really owe it to yourself to watch Wrath of Khan sometime.
Posted by: s. pisaster at September 19, 2008 11:47 AM
I get them all mixed up... Was IV the one with the whales and the mom from 7th Heaven? That's a good one. But II is still the best one.
True story: I started a new job 5 months ago, and our IT person's last name is Kahn. Every time I see her, I'm forced to shout, "Khaaaaaaaannnnn!!!" at the top of my voice. Thank god I do good work.
Posted by: Knife Pile Palin (formerly Anna von Beaverplatz) at September 19, 2008 11:49 AM
Every time I see her, I'm forced to shout, "Khaaaaaaaannnnn!!!" at the top of my voice. Thank god I do good work.
Posted by: Knife Pile Palin (formerly Anna von Beaverplatz) at September 19, 2008 11:49 AM
-------------------------------------------------
I hereby nominate you, for an Awesome Achievement in Awesomeness Award.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 19, 2008 11:53 AM
I don't know, BSlim.... are you sure you don't mean a "Saddest, Patheticest, Most Emptiest Life" Award?
Posted by: Knife Pile Palin (formerly Anna von Beaverplatz) at September 19, 2008 11:55 AM
Has anyone seen the film Dinner Hour? There's the best ever meta reference to Wrath of Khan right in the closing scene.
Posted by: PaddyDog at September 19, 2008 12:05 PM
Actually correction: That should be "Dinner Rush"
Posted by: PaddyDog at September 19, 2008 12:06 PM
Charity Pohnka
Is that Texan for "pity fuck"?
Posted by: sansho1 at September 19, 2008 12:16 PM
Nominating sansho1 for Top 10 Comments.
Posted by: bucdaddy at September 19, 2008 2:14 PM
Oh God. I'm such an asshole for using Charity's real name. She died in a car accident two years ago, and someone is gonna Google her someday, and this is the only entry that comes up. Pity fuck.
Ugh. My bad.
Rest in peace, Charity.
Posted by: Dustin Rowles at September 19, 2008 3:48 PM
Geez -- not much I can say. I was actually going for a joke at your expense, Dustin. Which was probably not clear. Feel free to delete.
Posted by: sansho1 at September 19, 2008 4:03 PM
I am seriously a rabid Star Trek hater, and I really don't have a good reason for it other than the stupid unflattering uniforms and that bad sci-fi gives me soulache.
But I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am for this movie. It's just...everything surrounding this sounds like the movie is going to be the biggest mess EVER and I'm going to be watching in absolute glee. JJ Abrams? YES! Eric Bana? YES PLEASE! Karl Urban? Yes, please, along with Eric Bana. On toast. Pointy-eared Sylar? YES.
Or it could be completely amazing and finally give a talented cast a good career boost. Either way it'll be sooo much fun to watch.
Posted by: figgylicious at September 19, 2008 4:10 PM
Sansho1 -- Dude. It was a hilarious line, and something I'd never considered all those months I dated her. She had a good sense of humor, so she's probably appreciating the joke in the afterlife.
Posted by: Dustin Rowles at September 19, 2008 4:23 PM
Thanks Dustin. I tell you, few things can make a person feel like more of a shitheel than having to employ the "No, no, I meant to insult you" defense....
Posted by: sansho1 at September 19, 2008 4:31 PM
Echo Base, this is Rogue 2. I found 'em, repeat, I found 'em.
Posted by: Lucas at September 19, 2008 5:07 PM
Shatner is in the movie. This is a disinformation campaign. Shatner's just playing it to the hilt.
Posted by: Darth Vomitus at September 19, 2008 7:37 PM
It's gonna suck, ..in it or not. Like the original series, hated the movies. After the animated series..pfffft! Baylon 5 and Farscape.
Posted by: B003 at September 19, 2008 8:50 PM
I'll be seeing this movie in the vain hope he'll pop out with 'Denny Crane'!
Posted by: Gabster at September 19, 2008 9:20 PM
wait...for a moment consider the daughter - I too am the daughter of an incredibly amiable, loved or hated (no in-between), fruit loop of a father. I know that patient look. I always love those smart fools like the Shat.
Posted by: replica at September 20, 2008 3:45 AM
the movie uses a time travel plot. Spock goes back in time to warn his younger self or something, and this is how Nimoy and Quinto are both in the movie together.
Posted by: john darc at September 20, 2008 4:53 AM
My opinion of Shatner changed in Loaded Weapon 1. While I've forgotten most of that movie, the scene where Shatner...
Well, I found the clip on YouTube.
...at once one of the scariest and most hilarious moments in cinema history.
Posted by: Godsbane at September 20, 2008 10:33 AM
Star Trek IV has whales, and the 7th heaven mom. Star Trek: The Original Motion Picture has the dad from 7th heaven. Star Trek IV also has Scotty trying to use a Mac Plus by talking to the mouse. "Computer....Computer?"
Star Trek V is AWFUL mostly and has the campfire scene Dustin is vaguely recalling. Dustin did the right thing in that situation.
2nd base > Star Trek V.
In fact I'll go so far as to say 2nd base > than any Star Trek in any form.
I was going to to see "Star Trek" (XI) Christmas day, but it was pushed forward...wow Watchmen & Star Trek nearby...neat.
Star Trek to me is like the Simpsons. No matter what anyone says I'll watch them all.
Even some of the not liked trek series have some decent episodes. Even the worst movie(V) has some good lines/scenes in it.
The old original series...thems got some fine lookin tail wandering around space, on planets, and in ships while wearing little. I assume, not being from that era, that some of the clothing was...rather light for that time period?
Any of the more mature Pajibans out there able to confirm this?
I am, again, watching all the movies, but at a slow pace with a friend...have to watch all ten before March. On my own I usually do that in a week easy. These annoying people with lives, or "more important things to do".
IV is next in the queue, and IV is one of my faves.
Oh, and there is a surprising amount of stars that their first, or one of their earlier roles was in Star Trek of some variation.
A few off the top of my head.
Bob Kelso was in TNG
Kirstie Alley was in Star Trek II
Doc Brown was in ST3
Ashley Judd was in TNG
Countless others, those are just a few I recall.
Posted by: WhoWhatWhere at September 20, 2008 10:49 AM
Kelsey Grammer was on TNG
Christian Slater was on ST II: Wrath of Khan
...and Harrison Ford had a legendary cameo on Voyager playing a time shifted Jack Ryan.
True Story
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 20, 2008 11:11 AM
Christian Slater was on ST II: Wrath of Khan
Now now, you know perfectly well he was in VI, waking up Captain Sulu.
And don't forget, the major component of the "even number rule" is the "Nicholas Meyer rule". Somehow it continued and "First Contact" and "Nemesis" are still better even without him. True, "Nemesis" was "Death Star II: The Wrath of Khan", but it was fun.
One time at Borders there was a customer who mentioned that Dennis Ross (former Middle East envoy) was going to be speaking in Atlanta soon and was looking for his new book. I said "oh, yeah, he's in a really good documentary about diplomacy on a new Star Trek dvd ("The Perils of Peacemaking" on the two-disc VI)!" and explained that it was a movie about the same stuff. I was just recognizing him in mentioning it, but she bought that too.
I am not the sort of person who watches “Star Trek,” not that there’s anything wrong with those people (“Welcome. Nanoo. Nanoo!”). In fact, I’ve only seen one of the “Star Trek” movies - the one with campfire songs or something, and even then I spent most of it making out. I can’t tell you what happened in the film, but I can tell you that Charity Pohnka wore a white bra. (Note to Trekkies: Second base is awesome). That doesn’t mean I haven’t developed an appreciate for William Shatner, mostly from “Boston Legal” (Denny Crane) and his phenomenal Ben-Folds produced album. 
Shatner is superior to mere mortals in all possible ways.
As far as the Abrams' Trek, "Starship Bugaloo" is concerned, not having the courtesy to write the man in just fucking guarantees the core audience for Trek will shun it.
Fuck JJ Abrams, fuck him up, his dirty ass, and his Trek.