web counter
 

NO! NO! NO!

By Cindy Davis | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (31)

Jennifer-Garner-Alias_l.jpg

Say it with me: “Please let this be a bad joke. Please let this be a bad joke. Please let this be a bad joke.” This simply CANNOT BE. (Behold my majestic leftover Lost rage rearing its ugly head!)

According to Kristin (who seemed to have a lot of inside Lost information) at E Online, a source at ABC says they are in initial discussions to do an Alias reboot. Someone with half a brain realizes that the disastrous Rambaldi storyline shouldn’t be included, but this is all part of a plan to keep the viewers who love… a convoluted storyline that ends up so far gone it can never be properly resolved? That’s just theorizing on my part, of course.

Am I bitter? Why yes, yes I am.

And please, for the love of Jesopus, file this in your “I promise to never watch” folder.









Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance

← Men of Sex and the City Career Assessment | Crooones! | Slow News Day →









Comments

Why even bother waiting a few years to reboot anything at this point? Let's just reboot things that are still ongoing and have multiple versions at once.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at May 27, 2010 5:11 PM

eff Alias. Where's my Dark Angel reboot?

(yea yea shuddup!)

Posted by: Lennon at May 27, 2010 5:12 PM

Just waiting for ABC to say, "We gotta have a Lost-like show on our network. You know what TV show we need to reboot: Lost."

Posted by: mtgcolorpie at May 27, 2010 5:13 PM

I promise not to watch, Cindy. Unless the new Sydney Bristow character is actually hot. If that's the case, I'm sorry. I won't be able to help it. But I'll hate for you. I'll hate it good!

Posted by: Johnny C. Georgie at May 27, 2010 5:13 PM

AMEN LENNON AMENN.

Posted by: supergwarr at May 27, 2010 5:22 PM

Yes, I agree with Johnny C. maybe they should try casting an actual woman.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at May 27, 2010 5:23 PM

Well, Jennifer Garner is arguably a woman, but that sort of role seemed to demand one with some curves and an actual girl-face. As an actress she did a pretty good job on that show. And oops to my "I'll hate for you." That bugs me, when I forget to type words. All the same: I'll hate for you good, mister!

Posted by: Johnny C. Georgie at May 27, 2010 5:29 PM

god that's one unfluttering pic of jennifer garner, her forehead looks like jude law's pre miracol hair regeneration and she has no freaking waist! good god woman did rambaldi ate it? or made it disappear in a red dot/ball?
this is one of those cases where giving birth probably helped.
and yeah great idea let's remake alias basically at the same time someone else is shitty remaking nikita! that's just brilliant! oh since you're on it ABC why don't you also restart seven heaven?

Posted by: rio at May 27, 2010 5:32 PM

file this in your “I promise to never watch” folder

Aaaand... done.

Posted by: MM at May 27, 2010 5:53 PM

/facepalm

Why is this even reboot territory? Take out the Rimbaldi crap and it's basically "spy story with a chick". You can do that without using the name, nimrods.

And you guys stop hating on Jennifer. I'll admit that's not a great photo, but that girl had a smile that could light up a room, bust the door open and illuminate the street at the same time.

-Frob

Posted by: frobme at May 27, 2010 6:05 PM

Fuck you all. Garner is hot.

Oh, and no reboot.

Posted by: Dave at May 27, 2010 6:11 PM

Hell, yes, Garner is hot.

So do a Firefly reboot and cast her as a new courtesan.

Oh, and keep Abrams the hell away from it!

Posted by: squirrel at May 27, 2010 6:27 PM

I refuse to listen to anyone bashing Garner's hotness. I'm not even sure if she's that attractive as a women, but wearing the outfit from the header pic, strutting down a corridor to AC/DC's "Back In Black" and then strangling a dude unconscious with a bracelet-garrot? My Godtopus is she sexy.

As for the reboot...I lack caring. It won't be the same. There's already Nikita starting this fall, which is enough of a similar premise (spy girl, high-kicking action) that I don't need to care. It'll last 5 episodes and tank, because 80% of their target demographic is still young enough to remember the old Alias and just won't bother watching.

Posted by: Shay at May 27, 2010 7:02 PM

Eh, I'll promise to never watch it. The original wasn't that good to begin with, but the material hasn't got enough potential to get better by a reboot.

Posted by: FabMax at May 27, 2010 7:13 PM

WHAT IN THE HELL IS THIS HALF-COCKED BULLSHIT? WHAT? WHY? a sdcmnasndkjhaghsvmbjgf

*The writer of the above comment has suffered an unfortunate rage stroke due the aforementioned news item. I think he thoughts can be summed up with this is not a good idea.

Posted by: Melody at May 27, 2010 7:26 PM

So ABC can screw it over again? Awesome!

Posted by: Sagerian at May 27, 2010 7:28 PM

jennifer garner rocked that roll. i'd totally hit that. but only if her hair was dyed read and she round house kicked me in the face. repeatedly.

Posted by: stopthemadness at May 27, 2010 7:52 PM

I watched all five seasons of Alias, but somehow ended up missing the series finale. Part of me thinks they never even bothered to air it.

But I will always remember with a pure distilled hatred the time they dressed JG as an albino - I mean geisha.

Posted by: stenz at May 27, 2010 8:01 PM

Hey you!
Step away from the fucking YES button. Leave it the fuck alone. The show is now redundant and Garner was a freak and tainted the whole thing. TAINTED!!!

Posted by: bob at May 27, 2010 9:00 PM

Wait, was Alias a good show? Is that what people are worried about, ABC ruining it? Or was it a crap show that doesn't deserve being rebooted?

Posted by: Brenton at May 27, 2010 9:20 PM

If ABC still has a mad-on for girls that rock as spies, maybe they should consider adapting a show from the comic book Danger Girl. It's a better developed story and I think it could hit the spots Alias failed to- hell they already a season or two worth of story lines already written.

It's better than trying to reboot Alias. I compare to molding a lump of shit into Venus de Milo. Even if you succeed, it's still made of shit.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Danger_Girl

Posted by: bleujayone at May 27, 2010 9:26 PM

Bring back She Spies. With or without Natasha Henstridge.

Posted by: MM at May 27, 2010 9:43 PM

NOOOOOOOOOO!!

Seriously, I just had such a shitty day (it's past midnight here) and this might have been the WORST NEWS OF THE DAY.

I love Alias, I love Jennifer Garner as Sydney Bristow, I wanted to be Sydney Bristow - there is no way in hell this is going to work. NO FUCKING WAY.

Also, I liked the Rimbaldi storyline... and was kinda sad when they dropped it. I stopped watching after the 3rd season (it just got tedious.)

I love Alias so much that I was Sydney Bristow for Halloween. I did her outfit from the first episode (red wig, black turtle neck, black slacks).

To end my comment, I third the Dark Angel reboot.

Posted by: dene at May 28, 2010 12:08 AM

Brenton, Alias was a great show, but, like anything that JJ Abrams does, it just kinda floundered once the primary plot line was resolved and it didn't have anywhere else to go after two/three seasons. There's only so many times Sydney's mother can die and come back to life.

On the other hand, I can understand why it might not be some people's cup of tea.

Ok, that's it, I'm pulling out my DVDs this weekend and rewatching it.

Posted by: dene at May 28, 2010 12:11 AM

Okay, I'm just loopy enough from painkillers to say this: ABC, have you ever considered "Veronica Mars in the CIA"? Please bring back Kristen Bell to my TV, preferably in many outrageous costumes, with lots and lots of martial arts and crazy yoga poses for the guys, and some fine shirtless studs for love interests for the girls (preferably of the soulful, no-one-understands-him, Logan Echolls flavor).

**runs for cover**

Posted by: Dudleys Mom at May 28, 2010 12:54 AM

Wow, so much hate for Jennifer Garner? I kinda like that she doesn't have all the typical female-lead qualities. And I've always been inexplicably fascinated by her jawline.

But a re-boot sounds dangerous, if it's anything at all like the last three season. Shit just got *awful*.

Posted by: christine at May 28, 2010 8:59 AM

I can understand rebooting shows that have been off the air for decades and have been forgotten about, but why the hell would you do it to a show that aired not that long ago? How about coming up with--and this is gonna sound nuts, I know--some NEW IDEAS for shows.

Posted by: DeadBessie at May 28, 2010 9:21 AM

I watched the first episode of Alias and was so disgusted that I never watched again. I just re-watched La Femme Nikita, so much better.

Posted by: androstarr at May 28, 2010 2:30 PM

I've always been of the opinion that it was JJ's work on Lost that caused Alias to flounder after its first two seasons. The SD-6 story arc was great. It had good plot twists, decent drama and some great characters. (unfortunately they were all the supporting cast) I don't support rebooting it, but re-imagining the material could make for a really good show. Maybe make the whole thing a little less Da Vinci Code and a little more spy-fi.

Posted by: Lyrinoir at May 28, 2010 5:22 PM

I thought Garner was pretty sex in Alias, but when I see that header I imagine her saying as Goodbye Horses plays in the background and she's reapplying her lipstick, "Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard."

A little too draggy if you know what I mean.

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at May 28, 2010 9:41 PM

Bring back She Spies. With or without Natasha Henstridge.

Heck, bring back anything with Natasha Henstridge. Always thought she was underrated; plus, nothing beats a hot woman who can do comedy.

(But not in an Alias reboot. Seriously? Keep going this route and they should start making every new season of a show a reboot of the previous year.)

Posted by: Bates at May 29, 2010 8:26 AM