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January 8, 2008 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | January 8, 2008 |

It’s one of those weeks again where the best trade news involves mostly speculation and conjecture, but we’re not above fanning the flames if it means filling some space. And, first up are reports (originating at Bloody-Disgusting) that New Line Cinema is talking another Nightmare on Elm Street flick. This one will neither pair Freddy Krueger with Jason Voorhies again (good!) nor explore the origins of the character (shame). In fact, the whole thing is still in the “idea stage,” so I’ll offer up my own idea, New Line: Kill it. Don’t let it move past the idea stage. You can’t sink any lower than Freddy vs. Jason (unless you manage a Freddy vs. Toxic Avenger flick) and you can’t outdo the original. So there’s nothing to be gained by another sequel except to further dilute the franchise’s value. Wait at least until 2013, after the memory of all seven sequels has mostly subsided, and then consider an origins story. Maybe Christian Bale can help you reinvigorate the franchise; he seems to thrive on the challenges, and if he can salvage Freddy Krueger, he’ll get Pajiba’s very first lifetime achievement award.

In other sequel news, Richard Matheson has sold the sequel rights to I Am Legend, and though nothing is set in stone, I’m guessing that — given the eventual $300 million box-office take — a Legend sequel is all but inevitable. And because sequels have to be bigger and better, I’m not sure how you beat the original — how can you destroy the Earth’s population again? Maybe the idea in the sequel is to kill two dogs instead of one, and maybe Will Smith can come back as one of those zombie monsters, though (*spoiler*) he’d have to be spectacularly charred given the way the original movie ended. (*end spoiler*) Also, in sequel news, one of our unseen gems from 2007, The Host, is getting the prequel treatment. It will take place three years earlier, after the excavation of the ancient Cheonggye Stream in Seoul, and this one will feature even more monsters. Oooh. Oooh. Here’s an idea: Roll Freddy Krueger and I Am Legend’s Dark Seekers into the mix, and we can take care of three sequels with one stone. Better still, it’s just one movie I don’t have to see, instead of three.

This here’s an interesting item: Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Viggo Mortenson are in talks to star together in the buddy cannibalism epicâ„¢, Vanikoro, the true story about two ships that wrecked in the Vanikoro islands in the late 18th century. The survivors of a second ship salvaged enough from the ships to build a small ship and sail away, but two crew members (presumably played by Phillip and Viggo) were left behind to fend off tribal cannibals until the early 1800s. Cool premise. Awesome actors. But Xavier Gens is attached to direct, and while the stylism of his Hitman looked kind of cool, I’m not sure we’re ready for a video-game movie director to direct two of the finer actors of this generation (anti-Hoffmanites, lay off). Whatever: You can hardly beat a good buddy cannibalistic epic, so I’m tentatively excited.

But this, actually, gets the award for sweet premise of the week: A dark comedy about a woman who is too nice to dump her boyfriend, so instead she kills him. And, after it works once, she tries it again. The premise, based on Jen Sacks’ novel, in and of itself — a goody-goody who resorts to murder — is pretty stellar, but the casting is pitch perfect: Reese Witherspoon will produce and star. I’m kind of indifferent to Witherspoon in general, but I like this career move. There are so very few good villainesses, so I’m excited about the prospect of seeing Reese Witherspoon: Serial killer.

I’ve been waiting for nearly a week now to unleash the trailer for the Prom Night remake: For a movie that boasts Brittany Snow as its lead actress, I’m strangely excited about it, and it’s not just the moody “Time After Time” remake in the trailer, or the chance that it might be the closest we get in 2008 to Final Destination-like craptasm. No: Two words, folks. Two words to explain why I’m so weirdly stoked about Prom Night: Stringer. Bell.

Oh, it’s gonna suck. And I can’t wait. You feelin’ me, Slim?

Nightmare on Pajiba Street

The Daily Trade Round-Up / Dustin Rowles

Industry | January 8, 2008 |

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.

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