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Wolfgang Peterson Set to Bastardize Paprika

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (18)

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As Twig noted, when she alerted me to this news item, I don’t know a lot about anime, but I am keen enough to know that Wolfgang Peterson (Troy, Poseidon) is not the guy you want touching a revered anime movie. Peterson was apparently blown away when he saw 2006’s Satoshi Kon-directed Paprika and arrogant enough to believe that 1) it warranted an American remake, and 2) he was the right guy to do it.

Wolfgang Peterson is not the right guy to do anything short of ordering a stack of waffles at Denny’s, though I’m not sure I’d even trust him with that task, after the disaster that was Troy.

Peterson has apparently tapped a “young writer” (yeah, I bet he has) with a “specific and detailed treatment,” which opens Paprika “up a little bit more so it’s more accessible for a wide audience, but it comes a little bit sort of Matrix. Not like Matrix but sort of the size of it all, the scope of it all. So that it becomes more of a film for a mainstream audience.”

Any time a director says “for a mainstream audience,” what he means is: more fart jokes. I don’t know ass about this movie, but I trust Twig’s opinion on this matter, and of the remake she had this to say: “[Satoshi Kon’s] best movie is his second, not Paprika, but hearing the words “more accessible” coming from the jackass that fumbled his way through Troy, the first and only movie I ever walked out of, it’s like finding out Michael Bay has been tapped to remake The Birds because of his “unique vision” (Oh, wait…).

(Source: ReelzChannel)









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Comments

Hrmm... Looking back at Wolfgang Peterson's films, since, you know, he's done more than just Troy.

I think Das Boot is the best war film ever made.

I really like Enemy Mine, In The Line Of Fire was decent enough, Air Force One was stupid, never saw all of Outbreak, Troy was, indeed, a disaster, never saw Poseidon or Shattered.

So, he has some skills, no doubt, but he's been, more or less, on the decline for at least the last 17 or so years.

So, yeah, I wouldn't have high hopes for this "Paprika" re-make.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at April 13, 2010 10:49 AM

I don't know what someone who only directs actual people is doing directing an ANIMATED FILM. Totally different mediums here. And the style of films he has made, successfully or unsuccessfully, is not in keeping with the way this one moves. It's not my favorite of the genre, but it is a solid little film and would have been better left alone.

Posted by: KatSings at April 13, 2010 11:07 AM

No. Fucking no. Stop this now. Anime remakes are always a bad idea and this especially will not work as a live action, american film.

Posted by: Steph at April 13, 2010 11:34 AM

I am Jack's seething cauldron of liquid rage.

Posted by: Snath at April 13, 2010 11:34 AM

WHAT.

Posted by: teacupnosaucer at April 13, 2010 11:45 AM

NO.

Posted by: jM at April 13, 2010 12:02 PM

Posted by: JapJay at April 13, 2010 2:08 PM

The silence in my previous post should be read as:

FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU---------

Posted by: JapJay at April 13, 2010 2:09 PM

MOTHERFUCKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Nadine at April 13, 2010 2:35 PM

Aw FUCK.

Posted by: boo at April 13, 2010 2:57 PM

OVER THE LINE, WOLFGANG! YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR ELEMENT.

Anime can never be adapted properly. I would love to see it, but it ain't happening.

Posted by: Mick J at April 13, 2010 3:30 PM

Oh HELL NO. Hands off Kon and especially Paprika, Petersen! Let the Japanese have their mindblowing animes and let our own ignorant populace discover them on their own dang time! These things always end horribly.

Also, there's a person here who, whenever Satoshi Kon comes up, says that Millenium Actress is the "best thing he'll ever do." I let it slide the previous two times they said that, but it's stayed with me, so I might as well get it off my chest: SCREW YOU. It's a good movie, but pales heavily in comparison to the far more universal, if less accessible, Paprika!

Also, opinions, assholes, everyone's got 'em, etc.

Back to the original topic: DAMMIT. Please don't. Go the way of Spielberg's Oldboy. Please.

Posted by: vic at April 13, 2010 4:05 PM

Also, there's a person here who

That would be me, and I stand by my assessment. Paprika is as visually spectacular as any of his movies, but I think the ending is a bit weak. Millennium Actress is absolutely flawless and one of the best films I've ever seen, ever.

Of course, this is like arguing over which diamond is the shiniest. Kon's a damn visionary genius, and all his movies are great.

Are you into either Baccano or Durarara? Same sort of strange time-warping, massively bizarre storytelling choices going on in those shows.

Posted by: twig at April 13, 2010 4:35 PM

Jesus. Do comic book artists feel compelled to make comic-remakes of every successful book that comes out? What is it with this idea that animation NEEDS to be made into live-action? So what if Hollywood is a multi-billion dollar industry; all those billions get used for is paying for after parties and bastardizing everything ever thought of by anyone.

Posted by: Julian at April 13, 2010 5:55 PM

twig: Alright, fair enough. I just had to say something about it or else I'd have gone crazy. Thanks for not getting defensive. Truly, Kon is a magnificent filmmaker, and I can't wait to see what he does next! Speaking of which, what is he doing now?

A friend of mine lent Baccano to me recently, but I have yet to start it. I'll also look out for Durarara as well. Thanks for the rec!

Well, that was a surprisingly painless exchange. If only all historical disagreements were this peaceable.

Posted by: vic at April 13, 2010 7:04 PM

Paprika doesn't need to be opened. The fact that it makes no sense is the fucking point. It's a sci-fi film about dream invasion technology ideally used for psychotherapy. No, this doesn't jive with me at all. This is an attack on the art form of cinema and I will not stand for it.

Posted by: Robert at April 13, 2010 7:10 PM

I think this is a terrible idea. However, I must ask. Other than Dragonball which anime movies have ACTUALLY been adapted into an American live action movie?

As far as I can remember they always talk about doing that stuff like Leo DiCaprio's Akira. Or Peter Jackson's Evangelion. But it never comes to pass. Wolfgang is talking out his ass. It'll never happen.

Also, Christopher Nolan seems to be doing a thematically similar movie already.(Inception)

Posted by: Tanner at April 13, 2010 7:39 PM

FECKING NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I've got all my appendages crossed that this insane and silly whim dies in production hell. It's difficult to type like this, but I consider it to be necessary for the future of humanity.

That said, maybe I'm strange in that I have trouble picking favourites in the Satoshi Kon repertoire...mad love for Perfect Blue, Tokyo Godfathers, Paranoia Agent, and Katsuhiro Otomo's Memories as well as the two works mentioned otherwise.

Posted by: DaftSteampunk at April 14, 2010 6:02 PM