web counter
 

Luc Besson Creating The Transporter TV Show

By TK | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (17)

ph4.jpg

Here’s the thing: All three Transporter movies are pretty stupid. The stories, about an expert wheelman with endless amounts of cool, a master of martial arts and shirtlessness, are downright silly. The plots are completely unbelievable. The thing that makes them watchable and enjoyable? I think we all know the answer to that question:

jason-statham-20070319-228046.jpg

Honestly? They could make another dozen Transporter movies, and I’d watch the damn things. More than once. Now, Producer Luc Besson, EuropaCorp and Atlantique Productions are working on a television show about Frank Martin, aka The Transporter. According to the lads at Dark Horizons, filming kicks off in Canada this year, and will be a weekly serial show about the adventures of Mr. Martin as he takes on missions, kicks ass, and asks no questions.

This show is already dead. They just don’t know it yet. Why?

Because of a staggering lack of The Statham. No cast is set yet, but what is certain is that Statham will not be involved.

Look: Jason Statham is The Transporter. He’s the only reason people watch the movies. He’s got the perfect blend of charisma, charm, good looks, and athleticism to carry the films. To borrow an overused phrase — there can be only one. Seriously. Oh, I’m sure people will tune in to an episode or two out of idle curiosity, but it’ll take roughly ten minutes for them to realize that there’s something profoundly wrong about it.

I think we can all already agree that there is, in general, a shortage of The Statham. Not just in movies, but in everyday life. How many times have I wished he’d come bursting through the door of a Starbucks and just hand the hipster moron in front of me a beating? Then he’d cock a grin, unbutton his shirt, and walk out with the pretty counter girl in tow. Possibly, he’d toss her over his shoulder and carry her out. And I’d be totally fine with that.

So a show about The Transporter, but without, you know, The Transporter? Not gonna work, folks.

Did people learn nothing from “Blade:The Series?”









Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance

← Book Review: "Bird by Bird" by Anne Lamott | Steve Carell Ditching "The Office"? | Also, Screechy Girl Gets the "AI" Axe and Other TV Whip Its →









Comments

I think this article is too specific. I think there is a general lack of the Statham everywhere.

Posted by: Dugs at April 29, 2010 9:25 AM

Wet...Statham...makes...Pinky...somethingsomething...BUNK.

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at April 29, 2010 9:27 AM

Good article TK, I guess Luc Besson is tired of making shit loads of money. What other reason would he have for ass pillaging a money maker?

Posted by: Pookie at April 29, 2010 9:29 AM

I'm just here to thank you for that picture.

Thank you.

Posted by: Carrie (Teabelly) at April 29, 2010 9:37 AM

There is not, however, a lack of Statham in my dreams :)

Posted by: Nimue at April 29, 2010 9:45 AM

TK,
Bravo for pulling off this article without sounding super gay. If Dustin had written this, I'd be wiping ball juice off my monitor and wondering where this butt plug came from.

Posted by: Kballs at April 29, 2010 9:47 AM

I watched Transporter 3 this weekend on Starz and it is a BAAAAAD flick. The ONLY redeeming thing in it was The Statham and even he looked bored by most of the proceedings and increasingly ridiculous shit Frank was supposedly pulling off without breaking a sweat.

When it was over I decided Jason and I needed a break. It's not him, it's me. I just don't know what has happened. Things started off so promising with Snatch and then Crank. The first Transporter was certainly a good time, and The Bank Job brought back some of the old spark. But with Crank 2 and Transporter 2 and 3 I think I need to re-evaluate this relationship.

We'll always have Death Race.

Posted by: TylerDFC at April 29, 2010 9:59 AM

Well, at least this TV show will be easy to avoid. If it ever even makes it to air, that is.

Posted by: Jerce at April 29, 2010 10:02 AM

Ah, Death Race... good times.
(yet another thing I never thought I'd hear myself type. thanks, Pajiba, for providing a platform for my inane insanity. or insane inanity, as the case may be)

Posted by: cinekat at April 29, 2010 10:14 AM

Did we ever get an answer as to whether TK is male or female? Because sometimes he writes things that make me think...

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at April 29, 2010 11:13 AM

I watched Transporter 3 this weekend on Starz and it is a BAAAAAD flick.

Posted by: TylerDFC at April 29, 2010 9:59 AM
---
I saw it last month and yes, it is. It also made me laugh at least four times for the sheer ridiculousness, which is approx. four times more than most alleged movie and TV comedies can claim.

Don't forget the car. The car is almost (ALLLLmost) as much a star as the Statham. I mean, the damn thing sank to the bottom of a lake, was floated back up, pulled out of the water and with just a little tinkering under the hood was doing 180 mph again in minutes.

Not to mention the car on top of the moving train.

THAT is one baaaaaaaaaad-aaaaaaaaaass ride.

Posted by: , at April 29, 2010 11:24 AM

Optimus Rhyme, just start jerking off to the letters T and K, if you shoot your load that means TK is a chick.

Posted by: Pookie at April 29, 2010 11:49 AM

So yeah hate to play devil's advocate here...But Jason Statham sucks. Alot. Except for Lock Stock and Snatch, he hasn't rated above a terd on my radar. Where is this charisma you speak of? Any idiot can grin while he's CGed into a flipping car. That's not charisma. Sean Connery had charisma. Clive owen pulls off charisma. Statham is a dead pan asshat, who will continue to pound out the same piece of crap movie until (hopefully) he decides to go jackie chan and do some crazy stunt and paralyzes himself. At which point I will laugh, heartily.

His job is to make ladies' Pajinie's all Tingly. Don't buy into the hype.

Posted by: Blank at April 29, 2010 12:51 PM

I like it when he makes my pajine all tingly. His movies are shitballs retarded (learned that phrase here) for the most part, but I do enjoy him.

Posted by: Viking at April 29, 2010 4:51 PM

I submit that there is an appealing undertone of emotional vulnerability to The Statham that I find riveting in combination with the stubble and the undulation of back muscles.

Posted by: ALR at April 29, 2010 5:49 PM

I really enjoyed The Statham's performance in London. And there was no action, no CGI, no end of cocaine in sight.

He's got chops.

Posted by: grendel at July 12, 2010 8:03 PM

A TV Series, hmm, so i hope they don't put FOX or NBC in the series' production, or they will fuck up the series and cancel them before the ending of the season.

About Statham... Well, it's hard (however not impossible) to be the main character of the series. I think this should be a prequel or a reboot of the franchise.

I also hope the series doesn't get high production costs, like Fastlane, which was cancelled by this reason.

I hope i am right but, i hope they really reboot the francise.

Posted by: M. A. D. Castro at November 18, 2010 1:26 PM