Classical Bible Stories Get Modernized. Or Not. It's Complicated... Meaning Stupid.

By TK | Trade News | January 10, 2011 | Comments ()

By TK | Trade News | January 10, 2011 |

Project's being developed as a retelling of the biblical tale of David and Goliath in the spirit of films like "The Bourne Identity," "Taken" and "300" -- set in ancient times but with a modern feel.

A biblical story. Inspired by The Bourne Identity and Taken? And 300? What does that even mean? It's going to be all green screens and shakey cams and CGI muscles and TELL ME WHO I AM/WHERE SHE IS!

Hollywood, thank you for giving me joy on this day, you bumbling pack of drunken jackasses.

The Bourne Identity.

[shakes head]


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