Logan Lerman May Be the Next Spider-Man and I'm Not Wearing Any Pants
In the midst of all this, you check Pajiba again. Still nothing new, and the comment diversion either doesn't interest you or you've already left a comment. Why the fuck hasn't Dustin updated the site, you mutter to yourself, knowing that he's been adding three or four posts on Saturdays for the last few months. (Dustin was hungover today, thank you very much).
Then you see this post, And you've read this far, and you're like: "Thanks, douchebag, for reminding me of what I'm doing on a Saturday night. It's obvious you're not hanging at the Playboy Mansion yourself, ass-wipe. You're posting this aren't you?"
Anyway, you ask: Who's that mop-top Clearasil poster-child fucker at the top of this post, and what the hell does he have to do with Spider-Man, you're finally asking. Well, I'll tell you if you'd just put on some fucking pants.
That's Logan Lerman. He was the lead in Percy Jackson and the Olympians. Didn't see it? Yeah. Me neither. Young-adult greek mythology flick? No thanks. Anyway, this kid, who was also in 3:10 to Yuma and he was Bobby in "Jack and Bobby," is apparently the leading candidate to take over the role of Spider-Man in Marc Webb's reboot. Of course, this isn't confirmed. In fact, back in February, there were rumors then that he was set to take the lead. But it feels a little more certain now. That's because a dude close to the situation told Drew McWeeny over on Hitflix that Lerman is "'almost 100% locked' but not in contract negotiations for the role yet." McWeeny has kids. You can trust a man with kids.
If Lerman gets the role, that would mean he beat out folks like Anton Yelchin, Jesse Eisenberg, Patrick Fugit and Johnny Simmons. I'd have liked to seen Fugut in the role, personally, but the others didn't really seem to fit.
And that's the story. You heard it here first (unless you were checking other movie blogs in your underwear). Now, you can return to your infomercial and, if you so desire, you can remove your pants again.