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I've Seen This Futurama Episode

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (15)



wolverinenewpics1-(3).jpg

Jesus, you can’t make crap like this up. It’s like a hemorrhagic dysentery of the mind. Real Steel, otherwise known as That Robot Boxing Movie That Can’t Possibly Be A Real Film is actually being made. Dustin was the first of us to catch wind of it last September, and I remember that day well, for it was the news post that gave me a paroxysm of aneurysms. Well, this update will be another clot thrower.

Here’s what we already knew: Shawn Levy (director of both Night at the Museum affronts, The Pink Panther and Cheaper by the Dozen) is helming the picture. He’s actually a perfect fit at director because all his movies are crap, and this movie looks to be crap.

We also have the general pitch which is that in a world gone mad, boxing has been outlawed and so now eight-foot-tall robots box instead. It’s a tale of redemption and hope as a former boxer bonds with his estranged son by becoming a promoter. Levy describes the film as a “rousing sports movie.” Which is encouraging since I’ve always found rousing ones to be more entertaining than the soporific ones.

The inexplicable thing is that Hugh Jackman is starring as the fighter-turned-promoter, because apparently those Wolverine residuals were smaller than expected. And filming has actually begun for a 2011 release date, so none of that ambiguity of “well maybe he’ll find something better to do.”

Here’s the first picture released:

jackmanwhatnow.jpg

Ok, I’ll throw them one small bone on this project. They are using only limited CGI and have built 19 different eight-foot tall animatronic robots that are getting filmed with stop-motion techniques. And they’ve brought in Sugar Ray Leonard as an advisor. So, yeah, if you’re going to insist on making a movie about giant boxing robots, then those are actually smart things to do.

I just hope that a tragedy doesn’t occur in the ring, leaving Jackman to pull the plug on his fighter.

(source: SlashFilm)









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Comments

Well, after they decided to make a movie about the game Battleship I guess it was only a matter of time before Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots got the same treatment.

Posted by: JenVegas at June 15, 2010 10:04 AM

CUT ME, MICK. I'M A ROBOT.

Posted by: Paul Southworth at June 15, 2010 10:04 AM

Seriously though, the Richard Matheson story this is based on is so good. The robots in that story are indistinguishable from humans, and a desperate "trainer", unable to perform the necessary upgrades to his fighter, opts instead to take the robot's place in the ring himself... against an indestructible robot with superhuman strength.

It's actually very poignant!

Posted by: Paul Southworth at June 15, 2010 10:07 AM

I totally understand why they're making this movie. Think about it, movies about real boxing or boxers are just awful. Raging Bull, Rocky, Ali, Million Dollar Baby, Cinderella Man, Girlfight... just fucking terrible.

Posted by: admin at June 15, 2010 10:11 AM

He's not human. He's like a piece of iron.

Posted by: The Other Agent Johnson at June 15, 2010 10:13 AM

YOU'RE GONNA EAT LIGHTNIN' AND YOU'RE GONNA CRAP THUNDER! BECAUSE YOU'RE A ROBOT AND THAT'S HOW YOUR DIGESTIVE SYSTEM WORKS.

Posted by: Paul Southworth at June 15, 2010 10:16 AM

Paul - I believe Rod Serling adapted that story for The Twilight Zone and called it "Steel" staring Lee Marvin.

That's what I thought this was going to be until I saw that the robots were 8 ft tall. (Jackman in lifts?)

Posted by: UncleJR at June 15, 2010 10:18 AM

I....holy shit I kind of want to see this. Like, NOW.

Guys, IT'S ROBOTS PUNCHING EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What in blue crikey fuck could possibly be more amazing!? We all know the best thing about the Transformer movies was Optimus kicking all kinds of ass and screaming 'GIVE ME YOUR FACE!!' madly while ACTUALLY TRYING TO TEAR OFF ANOTHER ROBOTS FACE.

This is going to be THE TITS. I am SO excited right now. ROBOTS PUNCHING!!

I have to go and start a band and call it Robot Punching, RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. Who's with me!?

Posted by: Nadine at June 15, 2010 10:34 AM

Hugh looks like Paul Walker in that picture.

:-(

Posted by: Alex the not so odd at June 15, 2010 10:43 AM

I just hope that a tragedy doesn’t occur in the ring, leaving Jackman to pull the plug on his fighter.

That's funny. Because it would be silly if they had to be plugged in. What if one robot used his power cord to choke the...

...yeah, ran out of steam.

Posted by: Sean at June 15, 2010 10:50 AM

My fellow Matheson fans are way ahead of me, I see (and the TZ episode with Lee Marvin is one of the better episodes, too).

Posted by: Joseph Finn at June 15, 2010 11:24 AM

"Did you upload my wife?"
"What?"
"Did you upload my wife?"
"How do you ask me that? I'm your prototype and you ask me that? Where do you get you're ball bearings big enough to inquire me that?"
"I'm gonna inquire you again, did you or didn't you? Just answer the question."
"I'm not gonna answer that. It's illogical. It's a syntax error and you're a syntax virus and I'm not that syntax that I'm gonna answer it. I'm leaving, If NORAD calls tell her I went home. You know what you should do? Do a little more upgrading and a little less downloading, so you don't have to blame it all on me and everybody else, do you understand me? You're crashing! Ya' outdated screwdriver ya'!"
*JOE-E HAS LOGGED OFF

Posted by: bleujayone at June 15, 2010 12:07 PM

Will there still be 10 Best Picture nominees for the 2011 Oscar season? Cause I'm sensing the wtf? nominee is in production right now and it's about giant boxing robots. Techy sci-fi + boxing film + box office star (ish) in serious heartfelt role = success?

Posted by: Robert at June 15, 2010 12:08 PM

That's the robot you want to hit, Rusty. Right there. Do you see it? Okay, good. Go and punch it.

Posted by: What'sHughJackmanPointingAt? at June 15, 2010 1:15 PM

Sugar Ray Leonard is alive?

Posted by: Lucas at June 15, 2010 3:43 PM