Is It Still April Fool's?
By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (18)
Jon Favreau confirmed that Harrison Ford has joined the cast of Cowboys and Aliens, which would have been great news twenty years ago. My first reaction was that this was a good thing, but then I realized that the universe is too malicious a place for that to really be the case. Have you flipped through Ford’s list of films lately? He hasn’t made a decent movie since The Fugitive in 1993. Other than the campy entertainment of Air Force One in 1997, his resume is like a highlight reel of the worst movies made every year. No one under the age of twenty has seen a good Harrison Ford movie in theaters unless they caught the Star Wars re-releases back when they were seven or so.
(source: Film School Rejects)
David Cross (Tobias) says that the Arrested Development movie is completely dead, which is as unsurprising as it is nevertheless disappointing. How much cash would it take to make an Arrested Development movie? $20 to $30 million or so, right? Here’s the list of movies that were released with budgets in that range in 2009:
| The Stepfather | $20,000,000 |
| 12 Rounds | $20,000,000 |
| Away We Go | $21,000,000 |
| The Informant | $22,000,000 |
| Shi Yue Wei Cheng | $23,000,000 |
| Coco avant Chanel | $23,000,000 |
| Cheri | $23,000,000 |
| Zombieland | $23,600,000 |
| The Men Who Stare at Goats | $24,000,000 |
| Me and Orson Welles | $25,000,000 |
| Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans | $25,000,000 |
| The Box | $25,000,000 |
| Dance Flick | $25,000,000 |
| Taken | $25,000,000 |
| Paul Blart: Mall Cop | $26,000,000 |
| My Sister’s Keeper | $27,500,000 |
| Taking Woodstock | $29,000,000 |
| The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus | $30,000,000 |
| Up in the Air | $30,000,000 |
| Le petit Nicolas | $30,000,000 |
| 9 | $30,000,000 |
| District 9 | $30,000,000 |
| Drag Me To Hell | $30,000,000 |
| Bride Wars | $30,000,000 |
Oh well, nothing on the list that we could possibly justify giving up for Arrested Development.
(source: Cinema Blend, source for budgets: The Numbers)
Topping the atrocity of the last Bond theme song, Lady Gaga is rumored to be singing the next one. This is all hypothetical since MGM’s financial situation is somewhere between “giving handjobs to hobos for spare change” and calling Matthew Lesko at 2 a.m.
(source: Film School Rejects)
And finally, just to top it all off: National Treasure 3 is being made. Somebody’s probably going to direct it, and somebody else might write a script, Nicolas Cage will “act.” It takes a special kind of special to rip off and dumb down Dan Brown while still using words with more than one syllable.
(source: Cinema Blend)
I’m just going to go watch Human Centipede clips on repeat. It leaves a better taste in my mouth.
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Comments
Posted by: PissBoy at April 8, 2010 10:00 AM
I’m just going to go watch Human Centipede clips on repeat. It leaves a better taste in my mouth.
...ahh yes. The taste of asshole.