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I'm So Confused Right Now

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (22)

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Low budget indie film: yay!

Romantic comedy: meh.

Subtle science fiction plot device: yay!

Romantic comedy: meh.

Former “Buffy” actress: yay!

Romantic comedy: meh.

I am very conflicted about TiMER. First of all, it’s a romantic comedy, which counts as at least nine strikes against it. Yes, if a romantic comedy walks up to the plate, the inning is already over. Blame Dustin. He sent me to When in Rome and She’s Out of His League within a few weeks of each other. Now I’m not snarky about romantic comedies, I actually bleed from the eyes when I see trade news about them. Plus, that spelling of the title? Unless you’re Scottish or Irish you don’t get to do the whole “ooh look at me, my second letter isn’t capitalized but the third is!” That’s not a title, that’s capslock and a typo.

But putting aside overwhelming but shallow biases, Timer (see, they can’t make me use that horrible spelling) actually looks pretty interesting. It’s set in the modern day and features a company coming out with an implant that uses [technobabble redacted] to scientifically determine precisely when you will meet your soul mate. Some people get the implant and they find out they’ll meet their soul mate in a couple of days, some people get it and it remains blank because the person they’re meant to be with never gets the implant. Emma Caulfield (Anya! You’re so much better than Darkness Falls) is one of the latter, her teenage brother one of the former. She ends up falling for a man who has a timer that says he’ll meet his soul mate a few months later, while hers stays blank.

Timer is director and writer Jac Schaeffer’s first film, and is currently doing the film festival route and getting good reviews. Poster below.

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(source: SciFi Wire)









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Comments

Both stupid and interesting. I'm confused too.

Posted by: Cindy at May 5, 2010 10:05 AM

What if your soul-mate is a prostitute? Does she have more than one timer? Are you just supposed to wait?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at May 5, 2010 10:12 AM

Wait. So if your soul mate didn't get a timer, you're either A)out a large chunk of money for useless tech or B)screwed because you have no soul mate.

Yep, the stuff rom-coms are made of.

Posted by: Fredo at May 5, 2010 10:16 AM

You just know there are people out there of the stalker persuasion who believe that these implants are already in their heads. I once had a room mate who was convinved a guy who barely gave her the time of day was her soul mate. She had a stamp made with his name and stamped it on 5,000 one dollar bills and used them to tip in bars that he frequented in the belief that if one of the bills came back to her at the bar she worked at, it was proof that it was meant to be.

Posted by: PaddyDog at May 5, 2010 10:25 AM

Do the timers have snooze buttons?

Posted by: mswas at May 5, 2010 10:32 AM

*coughShaunoftheDeadcoughcough*

Posted by: Snath at May 5, 2010 10:32 AM

Sounds like an interesting premise that could either
a) revolutionize the rom-com industry, giving boyfriends everywhere some relief
b) suck
c) be a fun movie that totally loses all intellectual content but is still OK

I'll probably see it no matter what just because Emma Caufield is adorable.

Posted by: esme at May 5, 2010 10:34 AM

Are all the timers set on Eastern time or Greenwich time?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at May 5, 2010 10:39 AM

Interesting premise. I'm glad to see that the "I'm incomplete without a man" plot has gotten a technical upgrade.

Paddy, I would like to know the result of your room mate's subtle flirting.

Posted by: admin at May 5, 2010 10:41 AM

So now the "I have to have a man and babies to be a complete woman" cannon has a non-biological clock added to the mix? Super. Although I suppose this idea could completely wipe out movies like The Back-Up Plan, so in theory some good could come from it.

Posted by: (Not so) Blonde Savant at May 5, 2010 10:53 AM

Anyanka!!! I wish Emma Caufield was in more things. I wish Amber Benson was in more (watchable) things.

Anyhoodles, yeah, not even a "sci-fi" bent could make me watch this romantic comedy. The concept sounds mildly interesting but that poster is weird.

Posted by: MM at May 5, 2010 11:01 AM

admin:

About two months after she began her dollar bill campaign, the guy announced his engagement to his girlfriend of two years. My room-mate sent him a long hysterical letter laying out all the reasons why he was making the wrong move. A couple of days later she tried to go into the bar he worked at and the bouncer told her they were full. I then hid all the sharp objects in the apartment fearing a suicide attempt. A few months later I moved out. I can only take so much drama.

Posted by: PaddyDog at May 5, 2010 11:36 AM

Yeeeah I dunno. Interesting concept, and it could be explored well - if you really love someone and you're happy together, does it MATTER if they're not the perfect person for you or do you keep waiting and switching partners until someone tells you this is as good as it gets? How many happy marriages involve "settling" for someone who's maybe not your ideal match out of the entire world population? What's the criteria for a soulmate, anyway?

But it's a romantic comedy, so... uh... maybe not. I guess it depends on how they handle the subject matter.

Posted by: Nat Kittyface at May 5, 2010 11:54 AM

I wish Amber Benson was in more (watchable) things.

MM, Amber Benson is busy as hell, apparently. She's writing books, and she just directed a movie, Drones. I saw it at IFFB, and she did an intro and a Q & A and she was, unsurprisingly, funny and sweet and adorable as hell. I wanted to put her in my pocket.

Unfortunately, the movie wasn't very good, but I refuse to let that make me like her any less.

Posted by: TK at May 5, 2010 12:11 PM

I KNEW you were dirty, all this time.

HEY ROWLES! this TK (if that's even his name)is just here to shill for Amber Benson.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at May 5, 2010 12:17 PM

I'd be fucked because I have no soul.

Posted by: Lindsay at May 5, 2010 12:23 PM

Thanks for the update, Paddy.

Look, I'm going to poke a huge hole in the movies premise and then we can all go back to ignoring rom-coms. The technology is obviously developed by men. Why? Because if a guy is meeting up with his soul mate who also has a device, the first thing out of that guys mouth isn't going to be "hello", it isn't going to be "how are you", it isn't going to be "finally!" No. Upon hearing the first beep out of that trick-ass Timex he's going to say this: "You fuckin'?"

No romance, no dating, no foreplay. The watch said so.

Posted by: admin at May 5, 2010 12:30 PM

I always edit the periods into C.C. Sabathia's name too. Fuck you, Yankees and your $200 million payroll. 1960 and Maz up your azz, baby!

Posted by: , at May 5, 2010 12:50 PM

Thanks, TK, it's good to know Amber is keeping busy. (I do recall it being mentioned here she had written a book). The only things (other than Buffy) that I've seen her in are The Crush (which was pre-Buffy) and a really horrible movie with Edward Furlong. No, like a really, really horrible movie. Worse than Emma Caulfield's tooth fairy movie.

But looking at Amber's IMDB page, I see she's been in a bunch of stuff. And the latest movie she's listed in stars Michael Madsen and Danny Trejo, so that's FULL OF WIN.

BSlim, do you have Amber Benson hate that I wasn't aware of?

Posted by: MM at May 5, 2010 1:25 PM

I don't have any "hate" towards Mrs. Benson what I DO have a problem with is having her cronies infiltrating all my web hangouts trying to further her agenda.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at May 5, 2010 1:35 PM

We are legion, Slim.

We're watching you. Waiting for the moment.

You won't even see it coming.

The lights will just... go out.

Posted by: TK at May 5, 2010 2:31 PM

I love me some Emma Caulfield. Sci-Fi (not SyFy) is pretty awesome, as well.

Posted by: JapJay at May 5, 2010 5:24 PM