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This Week In Hollywood Word Jumble:

By TK | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (15)

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Ahhh, Hollywood Word Jumble — a game that Hollywood persists on bringing out, even though no one wants to play. But the gears of studio dementia keep turning, continuing their unstoppable march towards cinematic Armageddon. Well, now we’ve got a doozy for you.

Anyone remember the old TV show “Laverne and Shirley”? I have a vague memory of it, mainly because I enjoyed the lovable skeeze-bags Lenny and Squiggy.

Anyway, since we’re making everything in the fucking history of ever into movies, it’s apparently Laverne and Shirley’s turn in the barrel.

The barrel is where you get fucked, by the way.

Anyway, here’s where things get fun. And by fun, I mean go fuck yourself. Garry Marshall is planning on directing the adaptation, because he hasn’t inflicted enough pain on us with the repeated cockpunches of Valentine’s Day, The Princess Diaries 2, and Georgia Rule. He’s found his writer, too.

Jamie Foxx.

Whosaidwhatnow? Yeah. Now, I’ll concede that Jamie Foxx showed some serious comedic talent, as both a writer and an actor, in the old “In Living Colour” days, but… seriously? WAIT BECAUSE IT GETS BETTER! Marshall said in a recent interview that:

“It’s a whole different modern day take on how they came up on the streets during difficult times. Laverne would be this very tough girl with a big ‘L’ tattooed on her arm. Jennifer Garner would play Laverne and Jessica Biel would play Shirley.”

Folks, there’s no amount of funky seafood I could eat or dirty water I could drink that would make me crazy enough to make that shit up. A whole other take on it! It’ll be gritty, because it’ll have a woman with a tattoo instead of an embroidered sweater. So there you have it. Jennifer Garner. Jessica Biel. Jamie Foxx. Garry Marshall. “Laverne and Shirley.”

Hollywood Word Jumble!

Fuck.

(Source: TV Guide)









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Comments

"Rinenefj Rearng Csjiaes Blie Imaej Oxfx Rrgya Smlahra"

Makes as much sense as whatever TK just said.

Posted by: Xtreme at March 25, 2010 11:06 AM

Soooo, one of them is a prostitute?

Niiiiice.

Posted by: Kballs at March 25, 2010 11:15 AM

Did I miss the memo that said today was "TK Fucks Everyone in the Eye, Ear, Nose & Brainpan Day?"

Schlemel, schlemozzle, indeed.

Posted by: dammitjanet at March 25, 2010 11:16 AM

Word jumble is right. At first I thought J. Foxx was co-starring in this, like an "urban" version of Laverne and Shirley. Something they attempted a few years ago with The Honeymooners, starring Cedric the Entertainer and Mike Epps. I still haven't forgiven them for that.

But he's writing this? Yeah, I'm still confused. I guess he became friends with Biel & Garner during the filming of Valentine's Day.

Posted by: Brie at March 25, 2010 11:23 AM

At work we have dry erase boards near our office doors where we can write our status if we're not in. So of course mine will say "Lunch" on a daily basis. Every time I scrawl that cursive "L" I think of Laverne.

If this movie happens, I think I'll have to start printing.

Posted by: mswas at March 25, 2010 11:25 AM

Jennifer Garner will be dark and gritty? I ... I just don't see that happening. I can't even imagine her with a tattoo.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at March 25, 2010 11:34 AM

Brie, if Jamie Foxx were writing an "urban" version of this, it would be changed to "LaTisha and Shemiqua" or something.

Lenny and Squiggy would be either their pimps, or their baby daddies.

So much for the "Schotz" brewery...

Posted by: Uncle JR at March 25, 2010 11:41 AM

So much for the "Schotz" brewery...

Posted by: Uncle JR at March 25, 2010 11:41 AM
---
Nope. Schotz Malt Liquor.

Posted by: , at March 25, 2010 1:50 PM

one of my friends just posted on facebook that the jamie foxx directing part of this movie rumor is untrue. to which i say thank the lord.

Posted by: jenvegas at March 25, 2010 1:51 PM

LaVerne: Motherfucker!

Shirley: 'Sup, bitch?

LaVerne: I got a couple fuckin' genital warts from one of my tricks last week. Prolly that fuckin' Cunningham kid. Gaddam, I hope they don't spread ...

*door flies open, La'Enny and Sha'quiggy enter*

Sha'quiggy: Ello! Where's my FUCKin' money?

Posted by: , at March 25, 2010 2:23 PM

, wouldn't that be "Where's my money, beyotch?"

Posted by: dammitjanet at March 25, 2010 2:35 PM

Kballs, my money is on Biel playing the prostitute. Did you see Powder Blue?

Posted by: DeistBrawler at March 25, 2010 2:49 PM

Wow. Some of these comments weren't what I was expecting from Pajiba commenters. Go off the deep end with the racist stereotypes much? Gross.

Posted by: Great Mango at March 25, 2010 5:35 PM

This is ridiculous.

That is all.

Posted by: livience at March 25, 2010 5:52 PM

I don't know who wrote the article about Laverne and Shirley. ONE THING I DO KNOW.....He really knows his F Words and uses the same word often.

Shame he doesn't want to be a real journalist where he could use a variety or words just NOT the F word.

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

Posted by: charlotte belyeu at December 10, 2010 5:48 AM