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February 26, 2009 |

By Daniel Carlson | Industry | February 26, 2009 |

What was I saying earlier? Oh yeah: Hollywood has moved from remaking anything they can find to remaking stuff that was either decent to begin with or cannot be improved. Case in point: 1984’s The Neverending Story, one of those weird and slightly dumb but ultimately amazingish flicks that’s rooted firmly in the hearts and minds of everybody who was a kid in the 1980s. Just a picture of Falcor the Luck Dragon, or that giant stone Oracle with wings and breasts and laser eyes, is enough to have you drowning in nostalgia like Atreyu’s horse in the Swamps of Sadness.

But oh, prepare to have that happy warm childhood memory crushed under the lazy heel of Warner Bros., which is prepping a remake of the film with Kennedy/Marshall and Leonardo DiCaprio’s company, Appian Way. Warners recently acquired rights to Michael Ende’s book, and they’re apparently intent on exploring some of the smaller plot nuances left out of the first film. (The movie actually only covers about half the novel, the rest of which was addressed in the deeply flawed The Neverending Story II: The Next Chapter, which was so unwatchably bad it killed star Jonathan Brandis.) So yes, sure, there are things you can introduce in the new film that weren’t in the first. But why? The original movie is as great as it can be, meaning it’s cheesy and bizarre and so obviously shot in Germany and just way too trippy to be beat. Plus, come on, it’s a classic for a certain group of kids, a group that doesn’t want you screwing with something they used to love just to have a theatrical flop that barely makes back the investment on DVD. Just leave it alone, Warners.

And now, enjoy hearing this in your head the rest of the day:

Running Out of Luck

Ruining Your Childhood / Daniel Carlson

Industry | February 26, 2009 |

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