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Neil Patrick Harris Cast in That F**king Smurfs Movie

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (31)

drhorrible_main.jpg

… I said, that is all!

OK. There’s this, too. He’ll be the lead live-action figure in the Smurfs movie. His face will actually be in the film. We don’t know who he might be (Gargamel?). But he won’t be voicing no motherfucking Smurf. He’ll be playing a real person in a motherfucking Smurf movie. And unless his only line involves craving furburgers and picking up some trim at a strip club then I’m out. I am fucking out. Damn you, Neil Patrick Harris. All that goodwill. Dr. Horrible. “How I Met Your Mother.” Screw you, man. This is a total Doogie move.

Now, that is all.

(Source: Deadline)









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Comments

Bitch needs a new summer house. Why you gotta hate like that?

Posted by: MM at March 3, 2010 5:36 PM

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Posted by: admin at March 3, 2010 5:38 PM

You know, NPH hasn't really missed a mark lately. As much as this news caused my sphincter to clench, I am willing to suspend stabbyness based on his body of work. Our boy Neil has earned the benefit of a doubt.
Besides, I ain't never gonna watch that Smurf movie, no way no how. So I don't really care. That shit is just smurfed up

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at March 3, 2010 5:43 PM

Oh this is just great, the moment I read "Smurf" and that fucking tune pops up and now its all La lalala-lalala. Fuck you Smufs and Fuck you NPH!

Posted by: bob at March 3, 2010 5:46 PM

Maybe he thinks it will be like Watchmen. i.e., lots of blue dick.

Posted by: Gozer at March 3, 2010 5:50 PM

What? What?

Posted by: Four Eyes at March 3, 2010 5:52 PM

HEE. HEE. HEE.

Posted by: figgy at March 3, 2010 5:53 PM

I don't think I need to remind you how Peter O'Toole feels about this. Doesn't the man have enough to contend with in his life, without THIS abomination being wrought upon the universe? Don't we ALL?

Posted by: SavageCats at March 3, 2010 5:55 PM

How I Met Your Mother is awful, awful, awful.

Posted by: brian at March 3, 2010 6:12 PM

Dear Lindsey with an e,

I have to level with you, I didn't read Dustin's post. I actually came here to arrest your parents... for they are theives. They have stolen the stars and hidden them in your eyes.

Also, I wanted to apologize. I'm sure you've noticed that your legs have been tired lately and I needed to tell you that it's my fault. You have been running through my mind for weeks.

I guess what i'm trying to say is, there are 206 bones in the female body...how would you like one more?

Respectfully yours,

-Adventureman

Posted by: Adventureman at March 3, 2010 6:18 PM

figgy:

I see three options here for why you might be laughing like that (really, who the hell laughs like that?).

1. You hate this piece of news so much that you've lost your mind and are currently sitting in a corner rocking back and forth while tearing your hair out.

2. You really liked Gozer's blue dick joke.

3. You hate Neil Patrick Harris, his beautiful face and lithe, graceful body, his smooth, playful voice, his wry sense of humor, his...sorry getting sidetracked. Anyway, you hate him and everything he's ever been in and all of us and want to see the Large Hadron Collider form a supermassive black hole (not gonna happen, sister).

If it's option 3, fuck you and your mocking of my distress. If it's option 1, me too. And if it's option 2, heh. heh heh. heh.

Posted by: esme at March 3, 2010 6:22 PM

Maybe this will be the start of a slow career decline, leading to him being a guest judge at the ugliest dog contest at the county fair, and then I can get into his pants for the price of a good bottle of wine...

Because, I would.

Posted by: Drake at March 3, 2010 7:08 PM

If it turns out that Neil Patrick Harris is playing Gargamel... man, I dunno. I would probably watch that. Neil Patrick Harris as Gargamel actually sounds pretty fucking sweet. God help me, because that CGI Smurf that you showed us was nine times creepier than the Human Centipede, so I don't know how the hell I'm gonna reconcile my irrational fear of all those little blue pixelated demons against how much I am in love with the idea of NPH as Gargamel.

I think Azrael might be the dealbreaker. If that cat's CGI, I'm out. No way.

Posted by: Sarina at March 3, 2010 7:28 PM

please jesus, you silly wishgranting zombie, please let him be gargamel, please pretty please.

Posted by: rio at March 3, 2010 7:28 PM

Oh son of a gosh darn cunt...Whatever, this won't stop me from wrapping my legs around his face like one of those creepy little fuckers from Alien.

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at March 3, 2010 8:00 PM

esme, I am currently rocking quietly in a corner. I'm just telling myself that it's all a lie.

Posted by: trixie at March 3, 2010 8:49 PM

I'm with Sarina. I could see NPH as Gargamel being kind of the greatest thing ever. Like if Gargamel came off as a sympathetic antihero. Basically, "Dr. Horrible" only if Dr. Horrible was trying to bone Smurfette instead of Penny. And Hefty Smurf has to be voiced by Nathan Fillion.

Yep, this Smurfs movie is going to be awesome.

Posted by: Stacey at March 3, 2010 9:17 PM

Well, Helloooooo Adventureman.

What is a guy like you doing in a nice place like this?

This could be the start of a fascinating and very confusing love affair.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at March 3, 2010 9:49 PM

And I almost forgot:
Hey look! $5!

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at March 3, 2010 9:50 PM

Who cares!!! My boyfriend also agrees with me. He is 10 years older than me, lol. We met online at age-gap club http://AgelessMeet.COM/. It's fabulous! Maybe you wanna check out or tell your friends.

Posted by: Mandy at March 3, 2010 10:59 PM

Who cares!!! My boyfriend also agrees with me. He is 10 years older than me, lol. We met online at age-gap club http://AgelessMeet.COM/. It's fabulous! Maybe you wanna check out or tell your friends.

Posted by: Mandy at March 3, 2010 11:16 PM

I just read the Spambot's post up there and for a second thought it was real, and was like "Who the fuck types 'lol' anymore?" I need to go to bed.

NPH as Gargamel would be absolutely tits. Once again, he and I would have the same ultimate goal in a movie: killing those little blue shitbags and owning a murderous cat. Previous mutual goals include:
Harold and Kumar: making love stains in Harold's car, riding a unicorn, picking up trim at a strip club
Undercover Brother: feeling black, not being a sissy, kicking a ball of bigotry over a goalpost of intolerance
Starship Troopers: winning a war for our species, probing aliens
Doogie Howser: being a great doctor whilst looking young enough to still be bathing with my siblings, writing a sweet sweet blog

So what I'm trying to say here is that NPH and I are meant to be together so all y'all need to GET OFF MY KOOL-AID.

Posted by: Bequafina at March 4, 2010 12:09 AM

This is the awesomest news ever.

I will watch the Smurfs movie and everytime Neil Patrick Harris appears on screen I will hug myself and squee quietly under my breath.

So all of you Smurf Haters out there can just cram it up your cramhole!

Posted by: Kelly at March 4, 2010 9:22 AM

I'm surprised nobody's posited the idea that Doogie might be playing Johan, of Johan and PeeWee.

Or it could be willful ignorance at what would be a terrible idea - namely having Johan and PeeWee in the movie. Enjoy the mind poisoning.

Posted by: joemama420 at March 4, 2010 10:45 AM

"Cram it up your cramhole" is glorious and now my new way of telling people to shut up.

Kelly, I think you and I would make awesome friends. I would totally share my Smurf toys with you.

Posted by: DeadBessie at March 4, 2010 10:48 AM

I want to see Stacey's Smurf movie. And, WHEN he is Gargamel, he has to wear the Dr. Horrible goggles. That is not negotiable.

I'll just go back to sucking my thumb in the corner now.....

Posted by: dammitjanet at March 4, 2010 11:28 AM

Kelly, I think you and I would make awesome friends. I would totally share my Smurf toys with you.

DeadBessie I accept both your offer of friendship and sharing of Smurf toys and will throw in my collection of "My Little Ponies" and numerous Cabbage Patch dolls as a way of cementing our new friendship.

Also... "Cram it up your Cramhole" is indeed a glorious phrase and the look on people's face when you say it to them is extremely satisfying. Try it, it's better than ice cream.

Posted by: Kelly at March 4, 2010 11:52 AM

OH MY GOD I HAVE MY LITTLE PONIES TOO! AND CABBAGE PATCH DOLLS!

I've even got a Premie! Is that how you spell it? How fucked up were those things? Let's make dangerous premature birth cute!

I dragged them out of the basement recently and was saddened to find that they all reeked of mold. They look fine, they just stink. I tried everything, even stuck them in the washing machine, which was hilarious because their bulbous little heads would emerge every so often from the suds and clank against the glass door.

The ponies, however, still have that great "new plastic toy" smell. God, I love that smell; someone should market it.

Posted by: DeadBessie at March 4, 2010 12:31 PM

cramhole is the new sconehole which was the new cakehole which in turn was the new piehole.

spread the word.

Posted by: stopthemadness at March 4, 2010 12:31 PM

Bessie, I'm pretty sure Adventureman has a supplier for that new plastic smell. Or whatever other mind-altering odors you need.
Is the smurf movie for kids? Is it a hipster ironic smurf movie, a la the Brady Bunch? Or is it a hyper violent kung fu bloodfest, with wanton sex and inappropriate references, the way it really should be? Because I know Brainy smurf was one insult away from a total smurfing smurf. Mothersmurfer.

Posted by: Mrcresote at March 4, 2010 12:53 PM

Or is it a hyper violent kung fu bloodfest, with wanton sex and inappropriate references, the way it really should be? Because I know Brainy smurf was one insult away from a total smurfing smurf. Mothersmurfer.

Posted by: Mrcresote at March 4, 2010 12:53 PM

Oh, please dear Godtopus, I won't need that pony or the lottery numbers or that vibrator filled with diamonds if you make this happen.

Posted by: dammitjanet at March 4, 2010 1:00 PM