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Batman Replaced? And Fillion as Captain America? / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | March 12, 2009 | Comments (49)


Not a one of the trade items below deserves its own separate entry, because most of it involves absurd casting rumors or unconfirmed projects. To wit: Here’s your Bullshit Round-Up.

First up, the most absurd of these rumors — despite the fact that Christopher Nolan still hasn’t officially signed on for a Dark Knight III, nor is there a script — or even a script idea, so far as I know — there are nevertheless rumors to the effect that Sam Worthington may replace Christian Bale as Batman in the third flick. If you don’t know who Sam Worthington is, that’s only because you’re like 99 percent of North America. He’s a largely unknown Australian actor, although he won’t be unknown for long — he’s lined up to play lead roles in Terminator Salvation, James Cameron’s Avatar, and as Perseus in the 2010’s Clash of the Titans. He’s, like, the next Christian Bale. The rumor comes from the Herald Sun, which sources “Industry Gossip,” which is to say that some enterprising reporter overheard a grip tell a gofer that Worthington would make a really good Batman if Bale were ever to explode into a pink mist of anger and fury.

It’s not happening.

In more likely but possibly less interesting news, there’s some speculation — fueled by Russell Brand himself — that he’s up to play Jack Sparrow’s brother in the fourth Pirates of the Caribbean movie. I don’t really know what’s the more disappointing news: That there’ll be a Pirates 4 (set for release in 2012), or that Russell Brand will be in it. The immensely amusing Forgetting Sarah Marshall notwithstanding, I hate to break this to you, but Russell Brand is the British Dane Cook. Dude’s got a couple of high profile movies on tap, but he’s already closing in on his expiration date. Brand was on Dave a couple of nights ago, and it took me less than 45 seconds to gleefully imagine taking a mallet to the man’s jawbone.



In other non-news, Danny Boyle will not be directing the next James Bond film, as someone somewhere once suggested. Also: He won’t be directing a Norbit sequel, Mr. and Mrs. Smith 2: Bobbing for Brangelina or Rush Hour 4: Anal Phlegm (I’m just covering all my bases). In fact, last I heard, he was talking about doing a full-on musical version of My Fair Lady scripted by Emma Thompson. Of course, that’s neither been confirmed nor denied yet, either.

Elsewhere, Kenneth Branagh was apparently spotted having lunch with Alexander Skarsgard (“Generaton Kill”), which according to Latino Review, strongly suggests that Skarsgard may be cast as the lead in Branagh’s Thor. Otherwise, why would they be having lunch? Two men in the same industry would never be seen together otherwise, particularly doing something that celebrities are not particularly known for doing: Eating meals.

Finally, earlier today, I suggested that Nathan Fillion would make an excellent Captain America. Soon after that post, I received an email from an “industry insider” validating my belief. I subsequently left a comment on a movie blog that I know Captain America’s director Joe Johnston reads, speculating that Fillion would get the part, and Johnston has yet to deny it. Therefore, it’s a possibility.

You heard it here first, folks. Nathan Fillion may play the lead in Captain America. It is definitely a possibility.


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Comments

While I somehow doubt Christian Bale will be replaced, or that Russel Brand will make it into Pirates of the Carribean 4: The Curse of Shitty Stunt Casting, I am gleeful at the idea of the Danny Boyle/Emma Thompson/My Fair Lady project, if only for my love of all things Emma. Also, if they are going to make a Captain America movie, PLEASE for the love of God cast Fillion instead of Matthew Fucking McConaughey.

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at March 12, 2009 9:53 AM

They're remaking Clash of the Titans??
Jesus, is nothing sacred, anymore?

Posted by: Rykker at March 12, 2009 10:01 AM

I'm with Feist on that one... If Matthew "I've Ruined Beef For Everybody" McConaughey is cast as Captain America, everything every good comic movie has achieved thus far is wiped clean and a revamped era of suck will darken the land. Not even Downey himself could save an Avengers movie from the Southern twang of Matthew "Mm'allright" McRomanticom.

Wendel would snap. Seriously... He may be underdeveloped, but he'll destroy a motherfucker. Just wanted to put that out there...

Posted by: Skitz at March 12, 2009 10:04 AM

That there’ll be a Pirates 4 (set for release in 2012)

Ok, I will admit that I actually liked Pirates 2 and 3. They were blindingly, unforgivably stupid, but I could eat my popcorn and watch the stupid and it was all good.

And even I don't want to see a fourth one. The ground's been trod, guys. Time to find a new dead horse to beat.

Posted by: twig at March 12, 2009 10:07 AM

I wish that Russell Brand would just fall off the face of the fucking Earth. He's the Kanye West of acting. And I think that any guy wearing skinny jeans should be horsewhipped and made to turn in his penis at the door.

Posted by: The Pink Hulk at March 12, 2009 10:10 AM

Brand is totally the British Dane Cook. Guy does my fucking head in, its with people like him and Alan Carr fucking shit up that are making me lose faith in any form of stand-up comedy... Im losing my religion.

Please come back zombie Bill Hicks I cant wait till you return and kick some ass with your Yorkshire right hand man Daniel Kitson as the harbinger of your apocalypse.

Posted by: jim at March 12, 2009 10:29 AM

Russell Brand is the British Dane Cook.

If that's true, then he's still better than Dane Cook proper. At least I laugh at Russell Brand.

Also, Danny Boyle + Emma Thompson + My Fair Lady = 4 hours of me sitting in a theater with a dopey smile on my face. (Particularly if it's cast correctly.) This HAS to happen, though Bond 23 could probably stand to have the Boyle touch, so long as it doesn't kill off 28 ______ Later.

Lastly, Nathon Fillion = Captain America...I could seriously dig that.

Posted by: Mike R. at March 12, 2009 10:31 AM

Brand may be a douche, but I gotta admit, he was funny has hell in Forgetting Sarah MArshall.

Posted by: I Love Beets at March 12, 2009 10:34 AM

It's good knowing that Fillion will be Captain America, it's better knowing that Christian Bale will most likely be in the third Batman, but things feel less bright knowing that there will be a Pirates 4. Honestly, the porn version of Pirates had better acting and a better story than the sequels.

Posted by: George at March 12, 2009 10:36 AM

say what? nathan fillmeup is the new max walker?! please please please jump up on the kitchen counter!

Posted by: gp at March 12, 2009 10:36 AM

Alexander Skarsgard in Thor? I think I'm a little moist...

Posted by: Lisa S at March 12, 2009 10:39 AM

"Danny Boyle + Emma Thompson + My Fair Lady = 4 hours of me sitting in a theater with a dopey smile on my face. (Particularly if it's cast correctly.)"

And how exactly could it be cast correctly since Audrey Hepburn is dead?

Posted by: PaddyDog at March 12, 2009 10:40 AM

I'm with Beets, I'll happily ignore everything else Brand does for eternity if only to conserve my love of his performance in Sarah Marshall.

I love that movie, I was just so thoroughly charmed by it.

Posted by: Julie at March 12, 2009 10:41 AM

Between the Firefly jacket (kinda looks like the WWII Cap. Outfit) and Captain Hammer, I can see the Photoshop campaign for Fillian already...

Damn it, now I'm gonna be mad if they cast someone else because it fits so well.

Posted by: Sean at March 12, 2009 10:41 AM

Has everyone been (snow) blinded by our neighbors to the north? You want Fillion, who is from America's Hat, to play Captain America? Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules? Why are all of my sentences today in question form?

Posted by: branded at March 12, 2009 10:50 AM

You want Fillion, who is from America's Hat, to play Captain America?

Fillion is a Canuck? Score! Not only is the hammer his penis, but it's also 100% Canadian Grade-A Meat. Suck it, everyone who isn't Canadian!

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at March 12, 2009 10:55 AM

Watched Russell Brand's Comedy Central special, and thought....Jeezus, if THIS twat-rag can make money doing comedy, WHY THE HELL CAN'T I??? I mean, I can make my hair stand up, wear tight trashy clothes, and talk in an unintelligible accent, too (I AM from Southern Indiana!!) So, I am announcing the dammitjanet world comedy tour, opening this weekend!! Buy your tickets now!!!

As for Capt. Hammer becoming Capt. America---PLEEEZ LET THIS BE TRUE!!! He would be AWESOME!! (remember, the hammer is his PENIS)

Posted by: dammitjanet at March 12, 2009 11:03 AM

Well, in defense of the "Thor" casting rumor, doesn't being an actor and having a last name like Skarsgard automatically put you in the running for a lead role as Thor?

Posted by: Deacon Blue at March 12, 2009 11:04 AM

Didn't they already do a full on musical of My Fair Lady? Didn't it already have the cast from God? Rex Harrison, Audrey Hepburn, Jeremy Brett (way before Sherlock Holmes), fantastic sets, fantastic costumes, fantastic singing (thank you Marnie Nixon).

While I love Emma Thompson, I wish she'd redo something that needs to be made better. Don't redo something that's already the best.

Posted by: BWeaves (from a different IP address) at March 12, 2009 11:08 AM

Posted by: BWeaves (from a different IP address) at March 12, 2009 11:08 AM

True, that is an amazing cast and it would be hard to beat the original (which I must watch), but with a little bit of luck I'm sure it'll turn out right.

Posted by: Mike R. at March 12, 2009 11:21 AM

branded: Has everyone been (snow) blinded by our neighbors to the north? You want Fillion, who is from America's Hat, to play Captain America?

Then what do you feel about the fact that the iconic American character of Batman has most recently been played by someone from Wales (England's backpack)?

Posted by: cockroach at March 12, 2009 11:35 AM

I like Russel Brand as a person, but not a stand up comedian. I found his Comedy Central special to be devoid of humor. However, I found that Letterman interview absolutely charming. If I had money at the moment, I would possibly use it to fill up my gas tank, drive to a bookstore, and thumb through his memoir before deciding to wait till it's in the clearance bin. Shouldn't take that much time in America.

Posted by: Robert at March 12, 2009 11:43 AM

Then what do you feel about the fact that the iconic American character of Batman has most recently been played by someone from Wales (England's backpack)?

I'm mostly just funning around (mainly meant as a jab at admin, my favorite Saskatonian), but I don't have any issues with Bale as Batman mostly because Batman is an iconic character, but isn't inconically American a la Captain America.

It'd be more like having Mayor McCheese played by a Royale with cheese, or the General Lee turned into a Renault.

Posted by: branded at March 12, 2009 12:02 PM

Since I find Christian Bale a snore as he of little, pointy ears, I'm all up for another recasting. How about Nathan Fillion?

Seriously though, I love the Captain America idea.

Posted by: Cindy at March 12, 2009 12:16 PM

branded, maybe the Capt America really stands for Capt NORTH America, did you ever think about that, Mr Smarty Pants? huh? Maybe the Canucks need a little superhero love of their own? They can't just have Wolverine. He'd be lonely. (note: I have no clue if there are other Canadian-born superheroes [and I don't really care either])

Posted by: Stella at March 12, 2009 12:17 PM

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Posted by: Bruce at March 12, 2009 12:23 PM

I'm going to go with the obvious here and say since when has Canada not been American? Did it somehow get annexed into Russian and therefore is European now? (Which would make Sarah Palin's I can see Russia from my house ever slightly more accurate.)
Anyways, that man could hammer me any day of the week. Teehee.
And eff you guys, I love POTC, and I can't wait for a forth one, even though I am pretty sure it will suck. It's a completely campy Disney movie, it's not made to be good, it's made to be fun.

Posted by: Quincy at March 12, 2009 12:26 PM

Fillion is not Steve Rogers.

Posted by: Jay at March 12, 2009 12:27 PM

What the hell do I care if Captain America is played by a non-American? It's a movie, it's unrealistic, it's a superhero comic, it has no basis in reality. I'm not going to let the nationality of the star break the fourth wall and ruin anything for me. If he's perfect for the role, then he's perfect for the role. Same goes for Bale as Batman.

Posted by: Snath at March 12, 2009 12:28 PM

And that would mean either a brunette Steve or a bleached Nathan. Both wrong.

Stop bringing your evil into that swamp, Dustin!

Posted by: Jay at March 12, 2009 12:29 PM

But Quincy, it's cool to hate the Pirates movies. Jesus, get with it already!

Posted by: Jay at March 12, 2009 12:30 PM

I'm not going to let the nationality of the star break the fourth wall and ruin anything for me. If he's perfect for the role, then he's perfect for the role.

That's a very interesting position, comrade.

(How have I let BSlim corner the market on fake xenophobia this whole time?)

Posted by: branded at March 12, 2009 12:39 PM

I certainly hope that the Fillion rumour is true. Out of The Preacher devotion, Mr. Henry and I watched Castle the other night and it was awful. 1908s detective show awful, and I should know since I was all about the Magnum PI circa 1988. We shan't watch it together again.

Posted by: Henry at March 12, 2009 12:44 PM

I watched the Russell Brand special and it was just LAZY. Lazy in a way that still had me ticked the next morning. He'd start well and then it was as though he couldn't put in the effort to finish writing the jokes.

Posted by: Henry at March 12, 2009 12:49 PM

I'm sorry, I'm still stuck on "2010’s Clash of the Titans"
WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
It had best rock me to my core, lest I unleash the Kraken on that man's ass. There shall be no sliver platter to deflect the evil that will shoot from my eyes if I am disappointed. And, I know I will be. sniff.
I frikkin love that movie beyond all reason.

Posted by: architeuthis at March 12, 2009 12:58 PM

And who's going to advise Perseus that women weaken legs? Anthony Hopkins? I'd halfway accept John Hurt doing it, but I still disapprove.

No, it simply doesn't need to happen, just like that new "V" nonsense.

Posted by: Jay at March 12, 2009 1:01 PM

I knew Jay was going to something. And I totally agree. No bleached Fillion, please. Think of the man beneath the mask.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at March 12, 2009 1:13 PM

Actually, I agree with Jay. Neal McDonough would be a pretty perfect Captain America. At first I thought maybe he was too old, but he's a year younger than RDJ, and RDJ made one hell of an Iron Man.

Posted by: Sarina at March 12, 2009 2:27 PM

Fillion is not tall enough to be Cap. Not blonde enough, either. So it'd be a stretch.

Posted by: hater from siloam springs at March 12, 2009 3:01 PM

This post should be called "Things That Piss Me Off".

Jeebus. PotC 4? 2 completely useless sequels weren't enough? does Johnny Depp have no shame or dignity left? Why won't they stop giving Orlando Bloom work or putting Keira Knightley in period clothing?

WHY GODTOPUS WHY?

Posted by: figgy at March 12, 2009 3:20 PM

Thank you, Sarina. But remember, the pictures will go up as piece on my site so I can't give you any piecemeal Facebook satisfaction further than I have.

Of course it'll be worth the wait.

Or...something.

Posted by: Jay at March 12, 2009 4:11 PM

They're remaking Clash of the Titans??
Jesus, is nothing sacred, anymore?

Nope.

Posted by: Jesus at March 12, 2009 4:20 PM

I guess I am in the minority but I like Russell Brand and would love to see him teamed up with Depp's Jack Sparrow.

Posted by: EricD at March 12, 2009 5:07 PM

What? Not Clash of the Titans dammit! I loved the squeaky mechanical owl! I don't wanna another one!

*wails*

Posted by: Four Eyes at March 12, 2009 7:41 PM

No, Rykker, nothing is sacred. They're also remaking "Slap Shot."

Posted by: Groot at March 12, 2009 7:51 PM

"Of course it'll be worth the wait.

Or...something."

You do so like to toy with me, Jay.

Posted by: Sarina at March 12, 2009 7:57 PM

Why won't they stop... putting Keira Knightley in period clothing?

I don't have much of a problem with that, in and of itself; only I wish she could fill it out a littleot more. Somebody needs to feed that girl a couple few sammiches!!

Posted by: Rykker at March 12, 2009 8:46 PM

Please don't compare Russell Brand to Dane Cook. Russell Brand's radio show was amazing and is greatly missed. I really hope he goes to another station - I need my weekly podcast fix! His book is brilliant as well. He used to have a column in the guardian whereas I'm pretty sure Dane Cook can't write. Or tie his own shoes. Besides Russell Brand is friends with Morrissey and is therefore awesome.

Posted by: Katie at March 12, 2009 9:52 PM

I'm going to go with the obvious here and say since when has Canada not been American?

I'm sorry, can you repeat that? I was distracted by the sound of your imminent demise.

*thock*

Posted by: Lauren at March 12, 2009 10:26 PM