free counter with statistics MTV VMA Winners | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

MTV VMA Winners
You Gotta Be Kidding Me / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | September 8, 2008 | Comments (38)

large_brttt.jpg

Ladies and Gents, if you were curious just how relevant MTV is these days, here’s the list of winners at last night’s VMAs:

Video of the year: Britney Spears, “Piece of Me.”

Female video: Britney Spears, “Piece of Me.”

Male video: Chris Brown, “With You.”

Rock video: Linkin Park, “Shadow of the Day.”

Hip-hop video: Lil Wayne, “Lollipop.”

Pop video: Britney Spears, “Piece of Me.”

Dancing in a video: The Pussycat Dolls, “When I Grow Up.”

New artist: Tokio Hotel

Wow! Britney Spears and Linkin Park? Is it 2002, again? I honestly didn’t realize Britney still made videos; I thought she just blew second-hand smoke in her kid’s face during supervised visits and worked out at Ballys. And clearly rap metal is still going strong. Shame, that. It hasn’t been the same since … nope. It’s never been any goddamn good, save for FNM’s “Epic.”

Well, at least MTV redeemed itself by giving the best dance video to a fucking reality TV outfit. Jesus: No wonder they don’t play videos anymore. If those were the artists who dominated airplay, I think I’d air “My Super Sweet 16,” too.


← John Moore Talks Fellatio | Inside Man Sequel Spike Lee →



Comments

save for FNM's "Epic."

Love.

Umm, that thing the Pussycat Dolls do? Is not really so much dancing. Seriously, I saw a little of the "red carpet" pre-show (Lauren Conrad? is no Joan Rivers) and skipped right over it, without even a twinge. I used to be sad when I missed the VMAs; now I just can't even muster the energy to think about them. Too bad.

Was that Russell Brand guy any good? he's pale and skinny and dirty, so I have a little crush on him, but I've no idea if he's any good as a ..whatever he is, comedian? actor? Little from column a, little from column b?

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at September 8, 2008 9:30 AM

Also, I forgot to inquire, is that picture from this year's show? 'Cause if it is, Britney's wearing the same thing she wore last year, which seems a little weird to me.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at September 8, 2008 9:31 AM

Anna, I don't think it was Russell's finest moment. If you want quality Brand, download his podcast/radio show from iTunes. It makes my week every week - and I can't wait to hear his take on MTV, which was so far from his target audience it was almost unintentionally hilarious. He made fun of Purity Rings and Jonas Brothers, so he was fucked from all sides. Or not, according to Jordin Sparks, because that would make him a slut.

Posted by: Jenny at September 8, 2008 9:32 AM

I had no idea MTV still did the "Video Music" Awards. I kind of wish that were still true.

Posted by: Kolby at September 8, 2008 9:39 AM

That promise ring thing was pretty great.He came back out and tried to apologize but also added how sometimes a little sex is good too. I was not told he had a podcast and now as I am a podcast addict I must seek this out. They're just like talk radio and great on long car rides.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at September 8, 2008 9:44 AM

This winners list makes me long for the early nineties, when I was hitting puberty. I wasn't a big fan of my life back then but at least the music (and MTV) didn't suck.

Faith No More rules! I loved the 'King for a day...' album.

Posted by: Pants at September 8, 2008 9:57 AM

No that's a picture from her last appearance, but right up until showtime they were denying that she was going to be there yesterday.

To blow your miiiiiind.

Posted by: Jay at September 8, 2008 10:00 AM

I don't have the cable television. I always thought it was becasue I'm poor, but now I realize it's because I'm a freaking genious, and I don't want my brilliance tainted by MTV's collossal media farts.

So I'm still poor, but I now I can wield my smug superiority over rich assholes who have cable.

Nice!

Posted by: Mella at September 8, 2008 10:06 AM

tokio hotel? what? how? why?

Posted by: Maureen Tuckers Drumstick at September 8, 2008 10:11 AM

Maureen, my house can take partial blame for that. My 13 year old sister BEGGED ME in her highest and most annoying voice to register on the MTV website and vote for Tokio Hotel because otherwise MILEY CYRUS MIGHT WIN!!!

Seriously, this was a huge concern of hers. I did it just so she would stop squealing at me.

I caught the bit where Michael Phelps introduced Lil' Wayne and the man just looked uncomfortable to be there. It was kind of funny in a very sad "Awww, dolphin boy just wants to swim" kind of way.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at September 8, 2008 10:17 AM

Uh, I didn't think I was THAT far out of the crap-pop-music loop...
And yet, I don't recognize even one of those songs.
Pity. I had some hope for MTV when they started pushing Yelle, MIA and Vampire Weekend between shows.

Ahhh, I'll just plug my ears singing "lalalalalala" and reminisce about a childhood of watching "Singled Out."

Posted by: Noxbu at September 8, 2008 10:19 AM

I only watched for Russell Brand, and even then, I had to stop after the Jonai frothed it up on their Sesame Street-esque set.

Russell is best unrestrained and uncontrolled by the powers that be. (Yes, that was him reigned in...)

His radio show is amazing.

Posted by: Amanda at September 8, 2008 10:22 AM

I thought Russell Brand was pretty damned good considering he was hosting the VMAs, on(I>American MTV and was in America. It's true that his podcasts are way better (as are his standup shows and his most recent TV show, Ponderland), but considering what he had to work with...

I did find something interesting, though. The live audience was made-up mostly of young artists and/or celebrities. I think it's safe to say, then, that the vast majority were left-leaning/democrats. Certainly when RB pleaded with them to vote for Obama, there was a massive cheer. However, when he started making Bush jokes, the cheering wasn't quite so, shall we say, vehement. I think this is because RB is British (or, more to the point, not American). In other words, I think Americans are totally fine with fellow Americans taking the piss out of Bush, but let a non-American do it and they perhaps take a small amount of umbrage?

I think I'm right about this. As a dual citizen (American by birth, Brit by everything else), I see this kind of thing again and again. American liberals are extremely different from European liberals...in fact, a garden-variety liberal in the US is more like a left-leaning conservative in the UK. A true "liberal" in the UK, though, is like a radical in the US. Last night was just another example. Many Americans on the left are fine with their own decrying the President, but not anyone else. Many American liberals are also fine with guns (WTF, people!!), holding up the flag as some kind of deity (it's a piece of cloth! Brits don't "lose thier shit" over the Union Jack), and the conjoining of church and state.

Sorry. I'll get off the soapbox now. I just thought the audience reaction was interesting (and a bit predictable).

Posted by: boogs at September 8, 2008 10:32 AM

"Epic" = hell yeah.

"Video Killed the Radio Star." Killed MTV too.

Posted by: bucdaddy at September 8, 2008 10:45 AM

boogs, it's kind of like how I can call my sister a fat, miserable, whoring bitch, but I get pissed off when others do it.

Posted by: Doodyhead at September 8, 2008 10:54 AM

I think it's safe to say, then, that the vast majority were left-leaning/democrats.

That might not be true though. This is mostly safe "Twist" magazine kids stuff now with suburban parents.

Many Americans on the left are fine with their own decrying the President, but not anyone else. Many American liberals are also fine with guns (WTF, people!!), holding up the flag as some kind of deity (it's a piece of cloth! Brits don't "lose their shit" over the Union Jack), and the conjoining of church and state.

Really? It's an interesting point but I've never encountered someone saying "HE can't say that!" unless they already disagreed, in which case an American also saying the same thing would be tut-tutted as disrespectful to "Our President" (which I've definitely seen).

Posted by: Jay at September 8, 2008 10:57 AM

I see were you are coming from BOOGS, I often catch a similar vibe when taking a critical stand. I've even been called Eurotrash on numerous occassions for merely stating that I wish the dems to get a fair shake this time around. But wouldn't you take similar offence when people from outside Europe make derogatory remarks about the way our leaders run things? On the other hand, we may be a bit more up to speed on American politics and policy than the other way around... (Ducks for cover)

Posted by: Pants at September 8, 2008 10:59 AM

I also watched for Russel Brand, and I thought he was great considering the event. I loved the little jabs he took at...well pretty much everyone, and that the audience was too vapid and stupid to understand that hyperbole (i.e. "that was the best dancing i've seen, thanks lil' wayne") does not equal praise.

Fuck the Jonas Brothers and their promise rings.

Posted by: lux at September 8, 2008 11:14 AM

How can anyone vote on the "best" video if they don't show videos anymore. Even MTV 2 doesn't show videos. And I just wish Lil Wayne would pull his fucking pants up.

Posted by: wsapnin at September 8, 2008 12:03 PM

I saw an old Nelly performance at the VMAs and I forgot how low pants had actually gotten back then. I think they're on the upswing though. He was shirtless and his pants hovered around his knees. It was impressive that he could actually move.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at September 8, 2008 12:08 PM

The MTV VMAs now have a lower budget than the Source Awards and I've seen girls around the way with better weaves than Britney Spears. Progress, indeed.

Posted by: jM at September 8, 2008 12:08 PM

Many American liberals are also fine with guns

Mostly to do with our relatively short history as a frontier nation, I think. It wasn't very long ago at all that guns were still the great equalizer in this country for the isolated, the outnumbered, and the oppressed -- the disenfranchised that liberals typically seek to protect. Just as one example, as recently as the 1970s, a fair number of lynchings were prevented because Southern blacks routinely owned firearms. Other examples in the 20th Century: miners protecting themselves from coal company thugs in Appalachia; ranchers driving off outlaws in the far reaches of the West; frontier-dwellers in Alaska using guns the same way pioneers did in the 1800s.

It's not just a campaign slogan that there's still a lot of pioneer in the soul of this country. I have two shotguns in our house in San Francisco, and I'm pretty lefty. I just don't believe in relying completely on a third party to protect me from that asshole coming in the window at 2 am. Dogs and guns, baby. And I'll have me some Teddy Kennedy, too.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at September 8, 2008 12:27 PM

Everytime I hear Chris Brown - With You, I think of the misheard lyrics comment diversion where someone thought the song goes 'I need your boobs, gotta see your boobs.' chuckles.
Anyway, I guess the Spears family funded this entire operation because there's no way she would win anything otherwise. And Lil Wayne and T-Pain were like some of the few people that actually seemed happy to be there and that warmed my heart.

Posted by: Shai at September 8, 2008 1:10 PM

I am definitely not the VMA's target audience, and I never have been, but I just dropped in to say... Hey, Pants, if you love Faith No More you MUST check out Peeping Tom (on iTunes, My Space, their home page, what have you), one of Mike Patton's current projects. It is amazing. In a perfect world, Peeping Tom would get awards.

Posted by: phquaryn at September 8, 2008 1:21 PM

It is truly a sorry state of affairs in the world when a young, successful, African American man still isn't allowed to wear a belt to keep his pants up. Keep up the good fight, Little Wayne!

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at September 8, 2008 1:37 PM

Oh boy. Any tv channel that considers Linkin Park "Rock", Britney Spears to be "best" anything, or 3 minute self-wanking home movies as "music videos" really deserves a standing ovation for reaching the Uttermost Bottom of the Shit Pond, a title previously held by oh, say, VH1 for introducing "I love Money" to the world.

And on top of that, MTV has given Britney Spears a comeback, to which I say fuck you in the eye with a rusty spoon, MTV, you have just made the world even more embarrassing than it ever has been. This why alien life forms don't invade us. They want nothing to do with this shameful little rock, which wallows in its own filth and gives the Jonas Brothers credibility. They're so embarrassed by us they don't even want to be in the same galaxy.

Fuck you. You've made me so angry I can't even think straight.

Posted by: figgylicious at September 8, 2008 2:26 PM

Um, I was going to comment on them not showing videos anymore. But that's been done. I could comment on the fact that I don't know anyone who won an award besides the Trainwreck formerly known as Jail Bait. But I will instead comment on the ad for The Women.

1. Annette Bening looks like Vanessa Williams. I guess they are adding color tinting to the airbrushing now as well.

2. Never liked Debra Messing and couldn't fathom how she won an Emmy when she was the 7th funniest person on the show she was on. However, LOVE the photo of her on there with Carrot Top's hairdo and looking like she's ready to do a little tubesteak boogie. From the way Jada's whispering in her ear, it's probably Will and this is her entree into Scientology.

3. Jada Pinkett Smith...wtf is she in the ad for? When the high point of your career is being a glorified extra on A Different World and the two Matrix sequels, you don't need to be in the ads, no one is going to a movie to see you. Hell, put Cloris Leachman on the poster, she has an Oscar, she was Frau Blucher and she was funny on the Bob Saget roast, at least she has done something. Wait a second, Jada was Peaches in A Low Down Dirty Shame? I retract my last comment.

4. I have nothing to say about Eva Mendes and Meg Ryan but this. One can't act, and the other appeares to have had a lot of work done.

Needless to say, I won't be seeing this estrogen infused pile of warm feces. I have a penis. And a brain. And both are screaming at me to run away from this as fast as I can. Usually they don't work in sync, so if they are in agreement, I trust their judgement.

Posted by: Rubble44 at September 8, 2008 2:48 PM

"And I just wish Lil Wayne would pull his fucking pants up."

Yeah,
And get off my lawn!

Goddamned kids.

Posted by: Lindsey at September 8, 2008 2:56 PM

I have nothing to say about Eva Mendes and Meg Ryan but this. One can't act, and the other appeares to have had a lot of work done.

Ahh, but which one is which?

Posted by: AnnArrogance at September 8, 2008 3:44 PM

I am beyond getting angry about these inane award shows. These spectacles are nothing more than a crackbrained industry celebrating itself.

Posted by: Arthur Dent at September 8, 2008 4:02 PM

And here I figured this was the last place anybody would give a flying fuck about having his/her entertainment choices validated by a panel of strangers. Or am I irony-deaf?

Posted by: bucdaddy at September 8, 2008 4:36 PM

I have nothing to say about Eva Mendes and Meg Ryan but this. One can't act, and the other appeares to have had a lot of work done.

Ahh, but which one is which?


That's the beauty of the statement, it leaves it all open to your own opinion, like a choose your own adventure book. :)

Posted by: Rubble44 at September 8, 2008 6:13 PM

I'm truly not the type of person who eagerly and thoughtlessly declares that things suck. I'm also not the type of person who always harps on how things used to be better in the good old days. But, seriously:

1. The 2008 VMAs sucked. Donkey nuts.
2. They used to be so much better.

Posted by: monkey_b at September 8, 2008 8:28 PM

Faith No More freakin' ruled with "Epic." Any of you twelve year old "30 Seconds to Mars-listening" panty-wastes that disagree can suck my golf balls clean.

Posted by: jeditemple at September 9, 2008 12:42 AM

I was practically forced to tune into this debacle because VH1 thought that instead of airing I Love Money they would put up a blank screen telling you to go watch the MTV awards. For lack of better options I switched over to see just how much money this shit must be making for vh1 to cancel their evening's programming for the entirety of the show...

and I made it through about 5 minutes until the Pussycat Whores won the award for Best Dancing or some shit and started thanking God for it.

mmhmm. that's right.

Posted by: Amber at September 9, 2008 2:24 AM

Give up on the vms's mtv. Its pretty hard to give out awards to the best videos if you dont even show videos. Since all you show is reality shows now you should start having reality show awards.

Posted by: j at September 9, 2008 12:33 PM

fuck mtv

fnm kicks ass

Posted by: Protoguy at September 10, 2008 2:24 AM

the best part of the VMA's was Kanye West's performance at the end... the worst part was the host (what's with the accent?)

Posted by: the fan at September 28, 2008 3:48 PM