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Zombies! To Invade the Apple Store

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (26)

DawnoftheDead1.jpg

Details are scant so far, but it looks as though MTV is developing a television series based on George Romero’s classic Dawn of the Dead. At first I wondered why they’d not just remake the original, Night of the Living Dead, since it’s essentially the same premise, but then I remembered: Dawn of the Dead takes place in a shopping mall. And this is MTV. And, well, it all makes sense now.

Just think of it: 1) Imagine the product placement opportunities. In a mall! Zombies who wear Gap clothing! Zombies who eat Hot Dogs on a Fucking Stick! Hot Topic Zombies! Zombies who love novelty gags at Spencers. The possibilities are endless. Moreover, a zombie television series set in a mall gives MTV a chance to roll out another gaggle of giggly teenagers, who can text each other the zombies’ whereabouts (“Madison. Stay away from the Abercrombie! Their clothes are unflattering on your figure. Plus, zombies!”)

Yeah. I have no idea how this makes sense as a series. At least one that might last longer than four or six episodes — the original did feature slow zombies, so perhaps they can stretch it out. I see an episode already that revolves around mall walkers! The good news, however, is that if they stick with the Romero source material, lots of obnoxious teenagers will die. Unfortunately, so will the rapidly deteriorating reputation of Romero for future generations, a reputation that Zack Snyder actually managed to do justice to in his Dawn of the Dead remake.

Here’s hoping they set it in a Canadian mall and Robin Sparkles makes a cameo appearance.










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Comments

This cements it MTV. I am now convinced that everyone is out to piss me off today.

Here I go. I'm gonna go out and start kicking puppies and slapping ice cream cones out of little kids hands. I'll go out and key the first car I see and punch a baby.

Everyone else seems to be a dick today, so why can't I?

Posted by: ashes at January 11, 2010 5:10 PM

So...MTV is trying to compete with The Walking Dead series that AMC is going to do. Wow...when will they realize they're fucking MTV?

That being said, if they make the cast of Real World vs Road Rules and The Jersey Shore plus all of those 16 year old rich bitches zombies...then kill them all...I may watch that.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at January 11, 2010 5:14 PM

Zombies? I don't care. I'll watch it.

I DON'T CARE AND I WILL WATCH IT!

Posted by: superasente at January 11, 2010 5:16 PM

Oh Christ. Enough already.

We already have a good zombie miniseries ("Dead Set"), a potentially good one ("The Walking Dead"), and near saturation of the zombie in pop culture today.

Wait...is that even possible?

Posted by: idiot dentist at January 11, 2010 5:27 PM

Dustin, just to clarify, do you mean Snyder did justice to Romero by:

Ripping away the subtext and social commentary of the first film to create a mindless action film with marginally-likeable characters whose only real purpose is to become a walking blood bag?

Is that what you were referring to?

As an action film, DotD:Fast Zombie Edition is excellent. As a remake of a classic piece of zombie-horror and commentary, not so much.

Posted by: bignick at January 11, 2010 5:35 PM

As someone who loves zombies but hates gore (even Shaun made me retch) I love when network/cable TV makes these things palatable for pussies like me.

And yes, those teenagers better buy the farm at at least a rate of one per episode.

$20 if you can guess which teen bites it first! (Hint: it's the black guy!)

Posted by: welldressed at January 11, 2010 5:52 PM

As an action film, DotD:Fast Zombie Edition is excellent. As a remake of a classic piece of zombie-horror and commentary, not so much.

Posted by: bignick at January 11, 2010 5:35 PM

This is very true. I love both versions of "Dawn of the Dead", but for very different reasons.

That said, Snyder's "Dawn of the Dead" completely blows away Romero's recent attempts at "zombie-horror" with "subtex and social commentary" ("Land Of Dead" and "Dairy of The Dead"). The "subtext" and "social commentary" in those films were so ham-fisted, over-the-top and ridiculous that they were almost parodies. Granted, not that the original "Dawn" was all that subtle about things.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at January 11, 2010 6:09 PM

Bring it on. I'm just glad it's not another vampire-themed series.

Zombies : Vampires :: Ninjas : Pirates.

Posted by: Jelinas at January 11, 2010 6:25 PM

"Dairy of The Dead"

Personal favorite typo ever.

Zombie cows!!!! MOOOObraaaaaainsMOOOOOOooooo

Posted by: MM at January 11, 2010 6:29 PM

Well if MTV must rub their taint on this one, have it take place on "Jersey Shore". Not so that the dipshits on that show get eaten by zombies or turned into zombies themselves, but so that we might be able to kill off the cast members and just blame it on them zombies.

On second thought, that might not be such a hot idea, even zombies would know better than to try to eat them for their brains.

Posted by: bleujayone at January 11, 2010 6:30 PM

ForbiddenDonut, now I totally want to watch Dairy of the Dead. Zombie cows? Or zombie milkmaids?

Posted by: Anne (in Reno) at January 11, 2010 6:30 PM

ForbiddenDonut, now I totally want to watch Dairy of the Dead. Zombie cows? Or zombie milkmaids?

Posted by: Anne (in Reno) at January 11, 2010 6:30 PM

Hrmm...

This concept certainly seems to be taking off. I'll have to think which way it should go. The biting social commentary on the state of the dairy industry would quite powerful, I believe. My ass is lactose intolerant, so I have plenty of pent up rage against all things dairy (especially delicious things like chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and Dairy Queen Blizzards that are so delicious that I can't stop myself from eating them even though I know only discomfort awaits me).

Maybe it starts with some sort of herd of sick dairy cows whose milk gets into the system and begins a zombie-like transformation. Though I definitely want some buxom zombie milkmaids.

There's some very fertile ground here. I'm sure if I'm attached to the project, I can get Charlize Theron on board. We have a history.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at January 11, 2010 6:55 PM

Dairy of the Dead:

Graaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiins.....

Posted by: figgy at January 11, 2010 6:58 PM

This is very true. I love both versions of "Dawn of the Dead", but for very different reasons.

That said, Snyder's "Dawn of the Dead" completely blows away Romero's recent attempts at "zombie-horror" with "subtex and social commentary" ("Land Of Dead" and "Dairy of The Dead"). The "subtext" and "social commentary" in those films were so ham-fisted, over-the-top and ridiculous that they were almost parodies. Granted, not that the original "Dawn" was all that subtle about things.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at January 11, 2010 6:09 PM

Donut I completely agree with your assessment of Diary and Land, although you have to admit the mute Amish farmer who's fond of blowing up zombies is pretty funny.

Romero was never subtle, even going back to the original Night of the Living Dead. Zack Snyder made a decent action movie that just happened to have zombies in it and called itself Dawn of the Dead.

Fast moving zombies is cheating, plain and simple. The true horror of zombies as a motif is the overwhelming number of them. Since we're on the subject of zombies, anyone read World War Z yet? That's some good story right there.

Posted by: bignick at January 11, 2010 7:06 PM

Fast moving zombies is cheating, plain and simple. The true horror of zombies as a motif is the overwhelming number of them. Since we're on the subject of zombies, anyone read World War Z yet? That's some good story right there.

Posted by: bignick at January 11, 2010 7:06 PM

I was super anti-fast zombie when I saw the trailers. (It worked in "28 Days Later", because they were "rage zombies". You can't have slow, lumbering "rage zombies"). I remember watching the trailer and seeing zombies running and jumping and thinking "this is bullshit. Zombies can't run. Zombies don't jump. Nuh uh."

Once I actually saw Snyder's "Dawn of the Dead", however, I gave into the fast zombies. It's a totally different feel and scenario. (e.g., I would try my damnedest to try and survive a slow zombie acopalypse, but if it were fast zombies, it's lots of pills and a bottle of booze). I think it does move things further from the horror spectrum and further into the action spectrum. While I still prefer the classic, slow moving zombie over the fast moving zombie, I have accepted the fast moving zombie as a sub-genre, if you will.

There are, however, certain traits I will not accept in my zombies: They don't talk, they don't have emotions, other than perhaps a very fresh one picking up a rock to break down a window or door, they don't use weapons or tools. They hunger, they try to feed. That's pretty much it. I have given them the ability to run, but that's where it ENDS. (Though, I might have to give a wee bit of wiggle room for the dairy zombies.)

"World War Z" is very popular 'round these here parts and rightly so. Probably the best addition to the zombie cannon, in any form, in a long, long time. The "Walking Dead" comic is quite good as well.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at January 11, 2010 7:19 PM

Dairy of the Dead is something I would totally watch. You know it would be a variant of Mad Cow Disease, and be related to growth hormones/prophylactic antibiotics being introduced into the dairy herds.

And I would absolutely die of delight if the theme song was Guadalcanal Diary's Cattle Prod.

Posted by: Wednesday at January 11, 2010 7:29 PM

Welldressed writes: "As someone who loves zombies but hates gore..."

Wait, do you mean, "As someone who doesn't exist..."

I suspect you are either deluding yourself about your secret love for gore, or your secret dislove for zombies.

Posted by: superasente at January 11, 2010 7:40 PM

Dairy of the Dead:

Graaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiins.....

figgy, I will love you forever for this.

Posted by: welldressed at January 11, 2010 7:46 PM

superasente, I in fact do not exist. I'm a figment of your imagination brought forth by your intense need to find and mock oxymorons.

Posted by: welldressed at January 11, 2010 7:48 PM

Hey man, I ain't no ox moron!

Posted by: superasente at January 11, 2010 8:19 PM

Superasente, I hear Darwin's voice as he says to you: "Come over here, you are the ascent of man."

It only goes downhill from here folks.

Posted by: bignick at January 11, 2010 8:26 PM

It's a quote from "Renaissance Man" staring Danny DeVito. He's teaching an English class to a bunch of illiterate soldiers and he uses the word "oxymoron." One dufus answers, "Hey man, I ain't no ox moron."

It's okay. It wasn't funny then either.

Posted by: superasente at January 11, 2010 8:38 PM

I'd definitely put my ten bucks up for Dairy of the Dead.

and, figgy's : "Graaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiins....." has been the highpoint in my day!

Posted by: idleprimate at January 11, 2010 11:50 PM

BAM figgy. Clearly, marriage inspires you. Or maybe it's just been the getting laid five times a day.

Posted by: , at January 12, 2010 10:51 AM

I bought into the running (well, slogging through the drifts) zombies in "Dead Snow," but really, they had the lumbering, nonthinking, brain-eating monsters market cornered and now they're just ... monsters. Generic monsters. I don't know that it's on a level with making vampires sparkly in the daytime, but I sense a pasteurizing of our monsters going on, and I'm not happy about the trend.

Speaking of which ... I was in CockBuster the other day (shaddup! I'm old school) and didn't realize how many decent to good zombie/vampire movies ("Thirst" etc.) I had yet to see. I'll be flashing that $1.99 rental card a lot there this month.

Posted by: , at January 12, 2010 11:02 AM

Given all the zombie discussions on this cite, I'm sure someone has already mentioned this, but I just discovered it and was amused. Zombies as fellow office workers. Enjoy:
http://www.last.fm/music/Jonathan+Coulton/_/Re+Your+Brains

Posted by: Alarmjaguar at January 12, 2010 11:38 AM